Waiting For Mr. Ashwell

by K. Sterling

  He may have eaten a shoe, for all Ash knew. His brain was broken and his eyes refused to focus on anything but Ned’s lips as he ate. Somehow, when Ned set his napkin on his plate, Ash looked down at his own plate and it was empty. He had survived the meal.

  Chapter 7

  It had always been fun, teasing Ash. He was so serious, so restrained. While it was hard to make him smile and impossible to get him to laugh, he had a dry wit and when he did make a joke it was always delivered with the blandest, stiffest expression and tone. It was hysterical. And his patience was limitless. Now that Ned could add sexual innuendo to the teasing, Ash was often reduced to blushing and stammering. It was sublime. Ned had never had so much fun.

  The afternoon was turning out to be one of the best of his life, Ned decided as he turned and rested against Ash’s chest. Ash’s hand lazily caressed Ned’s arm as he read. Ned shut his eyes and savored the warmth of Ash behind him and the scent that enveloped him. Ash was sandalwood, soap and leather. And so much warmth. Heat just rolled off of him. Ned sighed contentedly, for the hundredth time since they returned from the dining room.

  Ash was his. He didn’t need anything else. Well, more Ash would be nice. Ned saw Ash raging and yanking his shirt up in the dining room. Ned couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran through him and Ash’s arm wrapped around him and pulled him close. Oh, that’s lovely. Ned wanted to bury his nose in Ash’s chest. He wanted to crawl into him and hide in his amazing warmth and incredible scent. Mostly, he wanted to press his face and hands to Ash’s bare chest. It was glorious! He looked so hard and sculpted and uncivilized as he heaved and panted with rage. All those scars; the jagged lines, gashes, holes and burns… They were so at odds with the immaculate, reserved and deliberate man Ash presented to the world. Ned inwardly shook his head at the thought that the man sitting next to him, calmly reading and rubbing him soothingly, had known incredible violence. He had fought and bled and killed some distant day ago, in a place far away and then made his way back to Elston to laze about a study and drink scotch. It boggled his mind. I want to keep him. Ned leaned back against the arm of the sofa and stared at Ash. He waited until Ash’s eyes flicked up from the book and met his. Ash raised a brow.

  “I think you should move all of your belongings here. You only go to London to repack your trunks and see your tailor. Just keep everything here so you don’t have to leave.” Ned said as he twined their fingers together. Ash frowned and shook his head.

  “I can’t do that. Everyone will notice if I move out of my home and am always here.” His eyes went back to the book. Ned raised Ash’s hand to his lips.

  “We can tell everyone that you’re my secretary.” Ned smiled against the warm skin on the back of Ash’s hand. The hair was coarse and tickled his lips. Ash snorted.

  “I took a first at Oxford, Ned. No one would believe that I’d be your secretary.” He grumbled. Ned grinned wickedly.

  “Fine. You can be my valet.” He said as he hopped to his feet and went to the sideboard to pour drinks.

  “I’m certain there isn’t enough money in the world.” Ash mumbled as he turned the page.

  Ned laughed softly. He tried not to frown at the thought of the next time Ash would leave. His gut started to twist and he swallowed, trying to push the dread away. It was so bad before. What will it be like now? Ned looked at the scotch in his hand. He downed it, shutting his eyes at the burn and waited for it to fade. He refilled the glass and turned. He passed Ash his glass before he sat next to him. Ash’s hand reached out and cupped the back of Ned’s head. Ash pulled him close and his eyes fell into Ned’s as his lips brushed against his. His chin pressed and Ned let his mouth fall open, welcoming Ash’s tongue. Their tongues twisted and their breaths mingled. When Ash lifted his head, his eyes were searching.

  “What is it?” His voice was a low growl and it made heat pool in Ned’s groin. He let his forehead rest against Ash’s and he sighed.

  “I don’t want you to leave.” Ned whispered. He saw Ash frown.

  “I won’t for a while, maybe a month. But I’ll have to eventually or someone will notice.” He was trying to soothe him. Ned didn’t feel like it was working. He hated how desperate and weak he sounded but he wanted Ash to understand how much he wanted him. After Ash’s declaration in the billiard room and the attack he’d suffered, Ned needed him to see that he was completely committed (and utterly infatuated) to being with him.

  “I’m a wreck after you leave, Ash. I don’t leave this room for days, I just drink myself into a stupor and sleep for a week. I’m terrible to the servants.” Ned admitted. Ash’s face became hard and he pulled back.

  “Don’t do that!” He growled. “I can’t stand the idea of you being unhappy.” Ash rested his arm on the back of the sofa and squeezed the bridge of his nose.

  “I can’t help it. I miss you so damned much and this place is dreadful when you aren’t here.” Ned complained as he drank. Ash leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. His face was as soft as Ned had ever seen it when he looked up at him.

  “It hurts me too, Ned. I feel empty and cold, like the sun never comes out when I’m away from you. I never wanted to leave but I was always afraid I’d slip and give myself away. Then, I’d stay away until I couldn't take it anymore. I don’t have to worry about that now. From now on, I’ll leave just long enough to give people the impression that I’m still bouncing around.” His eyes begged Ned to understand. Ned understood but he didn't like it. He didn’t know what the secret man and man equivalent of engagement and marriage was but he wanted that. He felt his eyes get wide. I want to marry Ash! He knew it was impossible and he should feel crushed but he just felt exhilaration and relief. Ned had someone. The ton thought he was just a charming, fickle, vain rake, that he was having too much fun to settle down. They would have been shocked if they knew he was in the country pining away, not on an endless tour of debauched house parties. No one knew of his loneliness and the way he sank when Ash left. No one knew how he longed to have someone to open up to, to give himself to. He had that now. Ned smiled as he took Ash’s hand.

  “But you’ll always come back? And you’ll always be mine?” He whispered. Ash chuckled softly and squeezed Ned’s hand.

  “As if I’ve ever had a choice.” He kissed Ned’s hand and rose to his feet. “It’s time to dress for dinner.” He tugged Ned to his feet and gathered his face in his hands. Anticipation and need burst within Ned as Ash leaned close. His lips brushed against Ned’s briefly, then Ash’s tongue ran along the seam between Ned’s lips. Ned groaned and was opening his lips when Ash pulled back. “Later.” Ash whispered before he stepped away and strode from the room.

  “Ass.” Ned hissed at Ash’s back as it disappeared through the door.

  “I’ll leave my door cracked once my valet leaves. Come whenever you’re ready.”

  Ned heard Ash’s words over and over in his head. As soon as Fenworth retired for the evening Ash leaned close and whispered them against Ned’s mouth. Then, he was gone. Ned forced himself to remain in the study and finish his drink before he calmly made his way up to his chambers. Inside, he wanted to race up the steps, two or three at a time, straight to Ash’s room. Instead, he had to act tired and bored as he handed his clothes to his valet and waited for him to finish tidying up. He stood in his robe, a drink in his hand and portrayed urbane indifference while he was frantic with impatience and anticipation. Just leave that and get the hell out! Ned was sure his jaw would break, he’d clenched it so hard.

  “Is there anything else you need, my lord?” Finally!

  “Hmm? Oh, no. Have a good night, Garver.” Ned said blandly.

  “Goodnight, my lord.” The valet said as he bowed out of the room.

  As soon as the door shut, Ned started pacing. How long will it take for Garver to leave the floor? Is Ash’s valet done yet? Why can’t grown men dress themselves? Ned waited another five minutes before he peeked out the door. It probably tak
es at least five minutes to get him out of his coat, Ned mused as he slowly made his way down the hall. He stepped carefully into the gallery and looked down the stairs before dashing across to the other hallway. Ned saw the door and his heart started to gallop when he saw that it was slightly open.

  He took a deep breath and found an easy grin as he pushed the door open. The breath caught in his throat when he saw Ash standing by the window. Ned had been in this room many times but never when Ash was in it. He’d snuck in at night and crawled into Ash’s bed when he was gone. He’d tell himself the bed still felt warm from Ash’s body and he’d press his face into the bedclothes, seeking Ash’s scent. Now, with Ash before him, in his deep blue, silk robe, the room felt small and almost too warm. Ned managed a casual smile as he shut the door behind him.

  “I might be in need of a new valet. The one I currently have moves with urgency of a glacier. I almost fired him tonight.” Ned walked into the room and looked around, trying to give the impression that everything was new to him. Ash stepped closer and reached for Ned’s hand. His other hand closed around Ned’s neck and he pulled him close. Ash’s mouth fell upon his and Ned didn’t hesitate. He opened and his tongue slid against Ash’s urgently as he gripped the lapels of his robe. He held on tight until he felt like his legs could be trusted. Then, he let his hands slide down to the sash of Ash’s robe. Ash’s hands closed around his and Ned looked up, his brows pulled together and his lip stuck out in a pout.

  “Maybe we should have less light. I wasn’t sure what you’d prefer.” Ash gestured around the room. There were a few candles scattered around the room, creating a soft glow. Ned frowned in confusion as he looked back at Ash. “My body might be disturbing at first.” His voice was a soft rasp. Ned shook his head in disbelief. Ash had no idea. Ned tugged the sash and Ash’s hands fell away. He parted the halves and bit back a groan as his eyes spilled down Ash’s body. There was that amazing, battle scarred chest and stomach, then a thick mat of dark curls and the most beautiful, thick, long and proudly erect cock Ned had ever seen. He almost dropped to his knees. He dragged his eyes from it and back up to Ash’s.

  Ned let him see his hunger as he pressed his hands to Ash’s chest and slid them up to his broad shoulders. Ned pushed the robe back and away, it slid down Ash’s arms and he let it fall. Ned stepped back and then slowly made his way around to stand behind Ash. Ned’s eyes nearly fell out of his head and his mouth hung open. There were so many scars but it was the totality of Ash’s backside that stopped his heart. It was glorious. Ned didn’t know where to start. He marveled at the corded muscles of Ash’s shoulders and the long lines of his back. His hips were so narrow and the globes of his bottom were so round and taut. The hollows at the sides that curved into the muscles of his thighs made Ned’s jaw twinge as his mouth watered. He continued around and stood in front of Ash. Ned’s fingers itched to trace the ridges of Ash’s stomach. His body looked so hard and lean, there wasn’t a soft spot on him. When his eyes met Ash’s again Ned saw uncertainty and vulnerability. Ned took a step back.

  “None of this disturbs me, Ash.” He made a sweeping gesture down Ash’s body. “That breaks my heart.” Ned pointed at the deep gash that wrapped around Ash’s thigh before he stepped forward. “Do you have any idea what your body does to me?” Ned whispered as he pressed his lips to Ash’s shoulder. He felt the muscles shift as Ash shook his head. Ned untied his robe and stepped back. “This.” He watched as Ash’s eyes swept down his body to his cock. It was throbbing and straining toward Ash.

  “Drop the robe, Ned.” Ash growled. Ned nodded as he let it slide off of his shoulders and kept his eyes on Ash’s as he felt it puddle at his feet.

  Ash’s eyes flashed and he moved. He was so swift. One moment, Ned was aching, hoping that something, anything would happen, and the next, Ash was crashing into him. His hands were everywhere, gripping and sliding all over Ned’s body as his mouth devoured his. Ned groaned in approval as he wrapped his hands around Ash’s face and sucked his tongue into his mouth, mimicking what he wanted to do to Ash’s erection.

  Ash growled into Ned’s mouth as he backed him toward the bed. When Ned released his tongue, Ash pulled back and was panting as he pushed Ned onto the bed. Ned laughed as he moved back to the middle of the bed. Ash put his knees on the bed and crawled toward Ned, then over him until their noses touched. Ned was spellbound as he looked up at Ash. Do anything you want to me. He licked his lips in anticipation and Ash gasped.

  Suddenly, Ash was everywhere. His body covered Ned’s, pushing him into the mattress. Ned moaned in delight as he let his hands roam over Ash’s body, scratching and pulling, trying to get closer. Ash’s mouth explored Ned’s body frantically. Licking, sucking, biting and laving. First, Ned’s neck, ravenously. Then, his shoulders, his ribs, his back, his elbows, his eye lids, his chest, his ears… He turned and shifted Ned beneath him as his body slid around and against him. Ned tried to get his mouth on any part of Ash he could as they rolled and writhed on the bed. One moment, Ash was on top, the next, Ned was. They were face to face on their sides, then Ned was on his stomach and Ash was pressed against his back. Then Ned was on his back and Ash was over him again, kissing him as if he could coax Ned’s heart from his mouth. Ned pulled Ash as tight as he could as he tried to give it to him. Ash could have his heart and anything else he wanted as long as he kept touching him.

  Nothing had ever felt as good as Ash’s body, completely naked, touching every inch of Ned’s naked body. Ash was so hot and hard, yet sleek and pliant. The feel of Ned’s cock rubbing against Ash’s body already had him so close to spilling. Whenever he felt it brush against Ash’s erection his balls would throb and pressure would coil within him. Then, Ash was gone.

  He rose on his knees and held his hand out to Ned. For a moment, Ned was sure he’d die. Ash looked down at him like some sort of smoldering, marble sex god. Ned wanted to sacrifice himself to him, to appease him in any way he demanded. He took Ash’s hand and rose to his knees in front of him. Ash pulled him in and their lips connected as his knees scooted closer. Ned felt Ash pressed against him from chest to thigh. Their erections were between them, touching and trapped between their hard, hot bodies. Ash’s lips slid from Ned’s mouth and across his cheek until it found his ear. Ash breathed raggedly, hot and moist against Ned’s ear.

  “Can I touch you, Ned?” His voice was thick and warm. Ned shivered and nodded.

  “Yes. Please. Do whatever you want.” Ned gasped.

  There was air between them as Ash leaned back. Ned looked down and saw Ash’s hand slide down his stomach. He was going so slow, Ned nearly broke and demanded that he just grab him. Instead, he held his breath as Ash’s hand finally brushed reverently down his length until he reached the base of Ned’s cock. It slid around to the other side and then up along the back, his knuckles grazing Ned’s stomach. Ned shuddered and moaned as he shut his eyes. He felt Ash’s hand close around him and he almost wept with joy and relief.

  “Slow, remember?” Ash’s voice curled through Ned and he nodded.

  “Yes. Slow. Whatever you want, Ash. Just don’t stop touching me.” Ned sighed though his brain started to protest.

  Ned bit back a groan as Ash’s hand started to slide up and down slowly, gently. He opened his eyes and looked down. He knew he wouldn’t last long. The sight of Ash’s hand around his cock nearly broke him. His eyes fell to Ash’s cock. He needed it.

  “I want to touch you, Ash.” Ned gasped as he felt Ash’s hand cup his sack and squeeze gently. Ash nodded.

  “Please, touch me, Ned.” His voice was hoarse and strained. Ned felt heat burst within his chest and his cock pulsed. He suddenly felt powerful. Just like that, the marble sex god had become vulnerable. Ned couldn’t be patient like Ash. He wrapped his hands around Ash’s thick, rigid length and let them slide up and down greedily, trying to feel every perfect inch of him. Ash let his head fall and their foreheads touched. “That’s so, so, so, so good, Ned.” He groa
ned and his hand gripped Ned tighter and started to move faster. Ned nodded. He was beyond words as he watched their hands stroking side by side.

  Then, Ash’s hand stilled his. He took Ned’s hand and guided it around both of their cocks, holding them together. Ash’s hand wrapped around them from the other side and he started tugging. Ned could only nod and stare as their hands started to slide up and down together. Ash squeezed tighter and Ned saw bursts of light. Their hands started to pull faster and their hips were thrusting as their breathing became frantic. Their hands became slick as their cocks dripped in anticipation. Ned felt his balls pull tight and the pressure started to build in the base of his erection.

  “Ash! I’m so close, I can’t hold it!” Ned whispered desperately as he clutched at Ash’s shoulder. The sight of the muscles and veins twisting in Ash’s arm as his hand gripped them tighter, made Ned dizzy with lust. It was impossible to know where Ash stopped and Ned started. It was as if they shared the same cock.

  “Let go, Ned! I’m almost there. I want to feel you spilling all over me.” Ash rasped as his hand reached beneath them and gathered their sacks together and squeezed firmly.

  That was it. Ned threw his head back and clenched his jaw to keep from screaming as he felt searing heat shoot up his pulsing length. His cock constricted and then light flared behind Ned’s eyes as his seed erupted from the head of his erection. It shot up between them, hitting Ash’s chest and Ned’s shoulder and poured down over their hands. Ash’s hand wrapped around Ned’s neck and his mouth crashed against his. He yelled into Ned as a stream of molten seed burst from the end of Ash’s cock. Ned moaned in delight as he felt it hit his stomach and neck. Ash pulled back, his breath hissing in and out of him as he looked down and shuddered.

  Suddenly weak, Ned sat on his heels and leaned back on his hands. Ash rested his hands on his thighs. Both were panting and trying to catch their breath. Their eyes locked and Ash smiled. A perfect, joyful, soft smile that lit up his eyes and made Ned’s insides flutter. Ned laughed as Ash leaned forward and put his hands on the bed between them. He pressed his mouth to Ned’s gently and let him feel the smile against his lips.