by K. Sterling
“Ooohh, God! Ash!” Ned moaned as he started tugging faster.
His head was resting on his arm and his fist clenched as he tried to hold back. The pressure was building and the warm, sublime coiling of pleasure in his groin was so overwhelming. Ned wanted to stay there as long as he could.
“I can’t reach the oil, Ned. I need you to come for me. I’m going to rub your seed all over my cock so I can slide into your tight ass.”
Done. Ned hauled in a desperate breath and started to shake. He felt Ash’s hand close around his erection, just beneath his. Ned let go and pressed his hand to the floor as Ash’s hand wrapped around the end of Ned’s cock just as a molten stream burst from him. Ash’s hand slid around Ned’s body, a moment later Ash hissed.
“Jesus, it’s so hot. It feels so good.” Ash groaned.
Ned grinned drunkenly then sucked in a breath as he felt the head of Ash’s cock against his hole. Ned was already slick and ready from Ash’s tongue and fingers, he slid past the tight ring and swore softly as he thrust in slowly. Ned prayed that Ash would take him hard and fast. He enjoyed the primitive thing outside and the way Ash had chased and attacked him like a savage.
Apparently, Ash had other plans. He rose on his hands, suspended over him, thrusting slow and deep. Ash kept to a relentless pace, taking his time as Ned hung onto his arms.
“Aaash! I’m going to lose my mind if you don’t go faster!” Ned whimpered.
“Not yet. It’s so good, Ned.” Ash growled.
Ned squeezed his muscles tight around Ash and he gasped. And snapped. He lowered himself until he was pushing Ned against the floor and grabbed his shoulders. He started rolling his hips hard as he thrust deep. Ned howled in ecstasy as Ash drove into him mindlessly. He felt wet heat pooling beneath him and realized he was coming again.
“Shit, Ash!” He screamed. Ash was making clenched groaning, moaning sounds as he panted.
“God, God, God, Ned!” He gasped. “I love you so much!” Ned’s eyes almost fell out of his head as Ash shouted and froze above him. Ned held his breath for a heartbeat until he felt the burst of heat deep within him. He shut his eyes in bliss and sighed as Ash shook against him. A moment later, Ash fell on his side and threw his arm over his eyes as his chest heaved.
“Scoot over.” Ned mumbled as he elbowed him. Ash raised his head and grimaced as he saw the puddle Ned was laying in. He slid to the side and Ned flopped onto his back next to him. He grabbed Ash’s hand and pressed their palms together. Ash squeezed Ned’s hand.
“I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t scare you.” Ash said softly. Ned let his head fall to the side so he could look at Ash.
“Scare me?” His brows pulled together in confusion. Ash’s lips pulled tight.
“I know it’s soon…” Ned’s laugh cut him off.
“Twenty years, Ash! That’s not soon by any definition of the word. And you can’t take it back.” Ned said as he pulled Ash’s hand to his lips. “I love you too.” He whispered the words against the back of Ash’s hand. All the air rushed from Ash’s body and Ned knew it was relief. Ned shook his head in disbelief. How could he not know? He wondered. Ash smiled and Ned felt it warm him.
“Good.” Ash said. He pulled his shirt over his head and used it to clean Ned. “Get in the bed.” Ash grumbled as he got up. He helped Ned to his feet and pushed him onto the bed. Ned crawled to the pillows and didn't need to look back to know that Ash was cleaning up their mess. He smiled as he buried his face in cool, soft cotton. A few minutes later, Ash was behind him, wrapping around him. So many perfect moments… this might be my favorite. Ned sighed as he pulled Ash’s arm tighter around him.
“We really should live here.” Ned said as he stroked Ash’s arm lazily. He felt Ash exhale heavily.
“We have to go back soon. I told Heydon we’d be leaving the day after we got back to Elston.” Ash whispered the words against Ned’s shoulder. There was that horrible twisting in Ned’s gut, he took a deep, ragged breath. “Ned…” Ash tried to turn him but Ned pulled away and scooted to the edge of the bed and sat up. He kept his back to Ash as he scrubbed his hands over his face.
“I hate this.” Ned knew he sounded like a child but he didn’t care. He felt Ash moving across the bed.
“What do you hate?” He asked as he ran his hand down Ned’s back. Ned leaned forward, away from Ash.
“We’re grown men, Ash. Rich, powerful, grown fucking men. And we have to hide and waste our time convincing everyone we’re who they want us to be.” Ned complained.
“What would you have me do, Ned?” Ash settled behind him, his hands started kneading and stroking the muscles of Ned’s back.
“I don’t know… be less beautiful. Stop making me need you.” Ned’s voice was little more than a breath. Ash pressed his lips to Ned’s shoulder. Ned felt Ash become tense. He tensed in expectation.
“I don’t know what will happen when you marry. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it. I’ll have to stay away.” His voice broke and Ned felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. He jumped to his feet and kicked the bedside table, sending it, a candle and a book crashing into the corner.
“Jesus! You can be a real bitch, Ash!” Ned pointed as Ash stared up at him in shock. “I’d marry you. I’d marry you right now if I could. But I can’t and it breaks my goddamn heart. I’m not marrying anyone else. I can’t believe you’d even think that I could do that.” Ned glared as strode toward the door.
“Ned! Do you think that’s what I want? You have a title. You have to have an heir.” Ash yelled at Ned’s back.
“Fuck all of that!” Ned screamed from the hall.
He heard Ash picking up the table and putting the room back together. Ned rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bottle of scotch and fell onto the sofa. He pulled the cork and threw it across the room as he took a long drink.
“Stop making a mess.” Ash grumbled as he fell onto the seat next to Ned.
“Stop telling me what to do.” Again, like a child. Ash pulled Ned close. He took the bottle and drank from it before handing it back to Ned.
“You have responsibilities, Ned. You had a good father. You owe it to him, you have to pass on the title.” Ned could hear the strain in Ash’s voice. He shook his head before he took another long swallow. It burned like hell but he needed it. He passed the bottle back to Ash. “The thought of you with anyone else is killing me.” Ash admitted before he raised the bottle. Ned watched the muscles of Ash’s throat stretch as he swallowed and Ned started to feel warm.
“I honestly don't think my father would want me to be that unhappy, Ash.” Ned whispered. It was the truth. His father had never treated him like an heir. He’d just been his father’s son and loved. “I have an excellent sister that has already provided me with an heir. I have a feeling she can handle the spare as well.” He saw Ash smile and the pain that had flooded Ned’s chest started to recede. Ash took Ned’s hand and started rubbing it against his lips.
“I just don't want you to look back and have any regrets.” Ash said softly. Ned shook his head.
“Do you know what I regret?” He said. Ash’s face swung to his and he shook his head. Ned’s smile didn't reach his eyes. “I regret the years we’ve already wasted. I regret the fact that you tried so hard to run from this that you thought the only way you could escape it was to die. If I had been braver and said something, it might have prevented…” Ned was cut off.
“Don’t!” Ash shook his head violently. “It’s not your fault that it was easier for me to throw myself in the front of a canon than it was to face you.” He growled as he got to his feet. He snatched the bottle from Ned’s hand and started drinking. Once again, he was furious and glorious and going to make himself sick. Ned stood and snatched the bottle from Ash.
“Fine. Let’s agree that we’ve both been tremendous asses.” Ned waited until Ash nodded in agreement. “And I’m not getting married.” Ned looked at Ash expectantly. Finally, As
h rested his hands on his hips and nodded. “Brilliant!” Ned exclaimed as he went to the kitchen. “We should probably eat before all this scotch kicks us in the ass.” He got their plates and took his seat at the table. A few minutes later, Ash sighed as he strode into the room and picked up his chair and sat across from Ned.
Ned amended his earlier decision. Naked breakfast with Ash was his favorite perfect moment.
Chapter 17
“I’m leaving after breakfast.” Ash’s eyes searched Ned’s face over the news sheet. Ned nodded as he spread jam on his toast.
“You’re leaving after breakfast. Got it.” Ned smiled as he took a bite.
“I won’t be away for more than a week.” Ash said slowly. Ned chewed and rolled his eyes. He swallowed and took a sip of his tea.
“You won’t be away for more than a week. Got it.” Ned took another bite of his toast. Ash eyed him warily.
“You’re not to mope around and drink yourself into a stupor.” He warned. Ned paused in the middle of chewing to sigh. He finished and took another drink of his tea.
“I won’t mope around and drink myself into a stupor. Get over yourself, Ash.” Ned smiled cheekily. Ash snorted and raised his cup to his lips. He narrowed his eyes over the rim, assessing and worrying. “I’ll be fine.” Ned insisted. “I’ve decided that I’m going to be too busy to even think about you.” He said as he picked up a piece of bacon. Ash raised a brow and stared at Ned blandly. Ned raised a brow in return before he stuffed the whole piece of bacon into his mouth and chewed. Ash shook his head and sighed.
“Perhaps I should make it two weeks, brat.” He grumbled. Ned shrugged.
“You could but I don’t think you’d be able to stand it.” Ned said as he scooped eggs onto his fork. His eyes held Ash’s as he chewed, daring him to deny it. Ash’s expression remained flat as he folded the news sheet and set it on the table.
“I won’t be away for more than a week.” Ash repeated. He’d reminded Ned constantly after they returned from the hunting cabin. Ned chuckled as he reclined in his seat.
“You won’t be away for more than a week, Ash. Who are you trying to reassure?” Ned teased. Ash frowned. “You’re not to mope around Hendrick Hall and take it out on your family.” He raised his brows at Ash pointedly. Ash crossed his arms over his chest.
“Do you know, you’re a colossal pain in the ass?” Ash rumbled. Ned laughed as he rose to his feet and leaned across the table.
“I have heard that, a time or two.” He winked before he turned and strode from the room.
Ash threw his hands up in exasperation and rose from his seat. He nodded at Fenworth as he quickly made his way to the study. Ned was standing over his desk, unfolding a map when Ash shut the door behind him. He crossed the room and reached for Ned. Ash felt like his heart was sinking when he pulled him into his arms. He inhaled, filling his lungs with as much of Ned as he could before he gathered his face in his hands.
“I’m going to miss you so damned much, Ned.” His voice cracked as he rested his forehead against Ned’s. Ned’s hands pressed against Ash’s chest and slid up to his shoulders as he tilted his head back and brushed his lips against his.
“I’ll miss you too. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” Ned promised. Ash nodded.
“I’ll be miserable.” Ash complained. Ned pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.
“Don’t be. You’ll be back in a week and then you won’t have to leave again for at least a month.” Ned said cheerfully. Ash groaned as he pulled Ned tight against him. He savored the feel of Ned in his arms for several moments before he pulled back and took his lips again. Ash let Ned feel how much leaving was hurting him and how much he’d ache for him and while he was gone. When he lifted his head, their lips clung and Ned sighed.
“I love you.” He whispered. For a moment, warmth and joy mingled with the pain and tightness in Ash’s chest.
“I love you, too.” Ash whispered as he cupped Ned’s cheek. Ned pressed a kiss to his palm then smiled.
“Good. Now, get out. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can return.” He announced. Ash scowled before he stole a quick kiss then turned on his heel and quickly strode from the room. He didn’t look back. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to leave if he did.
Chapter 18
“Is there anything I can get you, my lord?” Fenworth asked gently.
Ned frowned as he looked up from the ledger. His butler had been hovering for the last two days and it was starting to worry him.
“No, Fenworth. I can’t think of anything at the moment but I’ll let you know if that should change.” Ned said as he watched the old man frown. He was about to leave the room but paused.
“Mrs. Tilldon is making your favorite dinner and a strawberry custard.” Fenworth said softly. Ned felt his brows pull together as he nodded. What the hell is going on?
“Brilliant!” Ned said enthusiastically. The butler gave him a pitying frown. That was it. “Will you just tell me what the hell is on your mind, Fenworth? You’ve been acting strange and it’s starting to get on my nerves.” Ned said as he sat back and rested his cheek in his hand. Fenworth blanched and started clearing his throat. Ned’s brows raised in shock. His butler was never flustered and he certainly didn’t tug at his collar the way he had just then. He cleared his throat again and Ned was certain he saw a bead of sweat roll down his forehead. Ned rolled his eyes and waved his hand in front of him, gesturing for Fenworth to get on with it.
“It’s just with Mr. Ashwell being gone… we were worried that you might be… distraught.” Fenworth said carefully as his eyes studied the rug between them. Ned gasped and grabbed the edge of the desk.
“You all… you all talked about that?” Ned croaked. It was his turn to tug at his cravat. Fenworth nodded softly and he looked stricken.
“I’m sorry, my lord. I swear we weren’t gossiping. We’ve just been very worried.” He promised as he stepped closer to Ned’s desk. “There isn’t a person on this staff that would ever say a word about you or Mr. Ashwell.” He whispered. Ned’s eyes went wide and he rubbed his hand across his mouth. His voice was hoarse and weak when he finally tried to speak.
“Thank you.” He knew it had been several minutes since he last blinked. When he finally did, he was sure the whole house could hear it. He couldn’t remember the last time his heart had beat. He started to sweat and he was certain he could actually hear the moisture leaving his pores. “I…” Ned had no idea what he was about to say, he just needed to fill the silence. Fenworth took pity.
“The two of you seemed very happy before Mr. Ashwell left. We were all very pleased.” He said firmly. All Ned could do was nod. “Do you expect him to return soon?” Fenworth asked cautiously. It took several tries, Ned’s lips had to open and close repeatedly before he could manage a reply.
“A week.” He cringed at the squeak in his voice. The butler smiled and Ned felt his eyes turn to saucers. His butler had practically raised him and Ned had never, in his entire life, seen Fenworth smile.
The next morning had been the most uncomfortable of his life. Despite Garver’s professional, yet somewhat sympathetic demeanor, Ned had a terrible time meeting his eyes and blushed profusely as he dressed. It was the same with the maids and footmen. Ned found himself dropping his gaze and clearing his throat as he rushed from room to room. Fenworth was still hovering and coddling and it took all of Ned’s patience not to snap at him. The only way he could cope was to keep his head down and work.
“Excuse me, my lord.” Ned actually groaned as he looked up at Fenworth.
“Yes?” He tried to keep his tone even.
“I beg your pardon, but there was an accident and some of the windows on the north side of the house are broken.” Fenworth said in his suddenly very soothing normal tone.
“Oh!” Ned said in relief. “What happened?” For a moment, Ned was sure the old man’s eyes twinkled. Ned’s head pulled back in shock.
; “I can’t say, my lord. Unfortunately, we’ve had to move Mr. Ashwell’s belongings to another room.” Fenworth’s face was as still as stone. Ned blinked rapidly.
“Ah… I see.” Sort of. Ash didn't keep a lot of personal items in his room, mostly books that he’d borrowed from Elston’s library and some extra clothes. Ned dreaded his next question. “And where did you put his belongings?”
“In the west wing, my lord.” Fenworth replied. Ned squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could, trying to make himself disappear. “I’m sorry, would you prefer to have him moved to a different room in the east wing?” The butler sounded concerned and disappointed. Ned sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“No. That was very thoughtful of you.” Ned smiled and the old man ducked his head. “Thank you, Fenworth.” Ned tried to infuse as much gratitude as he could in the words. Fenworth smiled again and Ned nearly laughed. It was such an odd sight.
“Of course, my lord.” With that, Fenworth took himself off.
An unsettling thought occurred: There were only three bedrooms in the west wing. Ash would have an apoplexy if they put him in the viscountess’ chambers.
Later, after Ned was sure the staff had all retired, he carefully opened his door and took three swift steps across the hallway and pushed open the door to Ash’s new room. He shut it softly behind him and couldn’t help the broad smile that spread across his face. It was a much larger room and the bedding and upholstery was all in shades of blue. It was perfect. He didn't mind that he giggled like a girl as he ran across the room and dove onto the bed. Ned flopped on his back and stared at the canopy, getting acquainted with the view. He stretched and sighed. The bed was bigger too.
A frown pulled at his lips. Ash might not be pleased. He’d stayed in the same room at Elston since he was thirteen. Ash could be very picky about things like that. Ned shrugged. He’d get over it. This was the next best thing to them sharing a room.