by K. Sterling
Chapter 19
It was going to be a hot day. Ash could tell by the way his hands were already sweating in his gloves. He sighed in relief as he tugged them off as he made his way down the hall. He was tossing them on the table when his brother’s head protruded from the study.
“Ash, why don’t you join me?” Henry asked brightly. Almost too brightly. Ash narrowed his eyes as he crossed the hall. When he entered the study, Henry was at the sideboard. Ash’s head swung to the clock. It was a bit early in the day but he shrugged when Henry passed him a brandy. Ash took it to the window.
“How was your ride?” Henry asked as he sat. Ash shrugged as he took a sip of his drink.
He couldn’t tell Henry that the ride had been a relief. He couldn’t describe how soothing it was to get Sleipnir out onto the park and give him his head and let him run like the devil was on their heels. Riding was the only thing that took the edge off of Ash’s need for Ned. It was the only thing that exercised the panic and pain that would swell and claw at Ash’s throat throughout the day. Cutting through the air and the bite of it against his skin, hearing the pounding in his chest and the thunder of Sleipnir’s hooves, stilled the roaring, aching monster within him. It was why he rode three or four times a day. Which was insane when the weather was as hot as it had been since Ash arrived at Hendrick Hall. Ash sighed as he turned from the window and took the seat next to Henry’s.
“It was fine. You didn't call me in to your study to talk about riding, Henry. What is it that requires Brandy this early in the day?” Ash crossed his ankles and raised the drink to his lips. When he looked over at Henry, his knuckle was rubbing his jaw thoughtfully.
“You know, you’re a very handsome man, Ash.” Henry said carefully. Ash raised a brow at Henry.
“I’m sorry, is this your first drink or have you been at it while I was out?” Ash gave Henry a withering look. Henry laughed softly but then became serious.
“You’re handsome, quite wealthy, you have a large home in Mayfair, come from a well respected family and you’re well educated.” Henry paused to take a long drink of his brandy. Ash had been nodding in agreement.
“Is this an evaluation or did you have a point?” Ash mumbled. Henry grimaced.
“You could probably marry any young lady of your choosing.” He said carefully, softly. Ash felt his body become tense and he clenched his jaw. Henry took an even longer drink before he looked at Ash. “Mother asked me if I thought you would settle down soon, if you’d start looking for a wife.” Henry’s eyes held his until Ash looked down and became absorbed in his drink. “I told her that I didn’t think it was likely that you would ever marry.” Henry said. Ash was on his feet.
He wanted them to carry him out of the study but he settled for going back to the window. Very grateful for the drink in his hand, Ash drained it then slid his finger under his cravat and tugged.
“What did she say?” He didn't like how strained his voice sounded. Henry was at his shoulder, taking the snifter from Ash’s hand. Ash turned as he watched his brother at the sideboard refilling their drinks. Ash was suddenly desperate for another.
“She wants you to be happy, Ash.” Henry handed the drink to Ash and leaned against the window frame beside him. “We all want you to be happy.” His hand closed on Ash’s shoulder. “It’s all right.” He said softly. Ash’s face swung to his.
“What…?” Ash whispered. His hand was sweating, he was afraid he’d drop the glass. Henry’s hand squeezed.
“Whatever it is that is making you happy, Ash. You’ve changed. We’ve all noticed. You’re restless, it’s very clear that you shouldn’t be here. But you don’t seem as… lost and sad as you used to.” Henry smiled as his eyes searched Ash’s. Ash nodded as the tension loosened in his shoulders.
“I’m happy, Henry.” Ash whispered. He didn’t trust his voice. Henry’s smile grew.
“How’s Ned?” Henry asked casually. Then, he laughed softly when Ash couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from turning up.
“Ned is well.” Ash felt his eyes start to burn. He stared at his brandy as he blinked to hold the tears back.
“I’m glad that you’re happy and Ned is well.” Henry announced as he went back to his seat. When Ash trusted his voice and had his emotions under control he turned and went to his seat.
“Do you think mother will be disappointed?” One of Ash’s greatest fears was how hurt and disappointed she would be if she knew. Henry rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively.
“You know how much she loves Ned! And she’s got plenty of grandkids to keep her busy with a fourth on the way.” Henry chuckled as he raised his drink. Ash found himself smiling again. With relief and joy.
“Congratulations! That’s… Good, God. Four?” He shook his head in disbelief and Henry nodded in agreement.
“She’d be happier if you brought Ned around more. We all would.” Henry said. Ash cringed and rubbed the back of his neck.
“It wouldn’t be very discreet if we were always traveling together.” He admitted. It was so strange, discussing this with Henry. Ash saw him nod thoughtfully as he considered. “You’re not disappointed or disgusted?” Ash asked cautiously. Henry shook his head.
“I love you Ash.” His gaze was sincere as it met Ash’s. Henry reached over and squeezed his shoulder again. “I will always be proud of you.” He promised. Ash felt his eyes water again as he nodded weakly. “I’m a little worried.” Henry admitted. “Society could be very cruel if you’re discovered. But, you’ll be careful and I’ll always be here if you need my help.” Ash was overcome. He placed his hand over Henry’s on his shoulder as he nodded. When he was able, Ash looked at Henry.
“Thank you.” Ash knew it wasn’t enough to express the swirling river of joy, relief, excitement, and optimism that was churning and crashing through him. “How did you know?”
“Rebecca was the first to suspect it. She pointed out that you and Ned behave like an old married couple.” Henry paused when Ash’s eyes grew wide. Ned said the same thing. Ash covered his mouth to hide the grin that he felt tugging at his lips at the thought. Henry saw it and laughed. “Then, I realized the two of you have always been a couple. Even if you didn’t realize it. You’ve always been together. When you’re apart, you miss him. When you’re together, you’re complete. And it’s wonderful, the way he provokes you! No one gets to you like Ned.” Henry laughed as he reclined. Ash shook his head in disbelief.
“I thought I hid it well. How did you see it but Ned didn’t?” Ash asked. Henry shrugged.
“Maybe because we saw the change in you when he wasn’t around. Or, he was too preoccupied with his end of it.” Henry mused. His brows pulled together and he frowned as if he was trying to work through a problem. “Do you think you could tell everyone you live here, with us? Then, you could live with Ned most of the year.” Henry’s brows raised at Ash’s expression. Ash knew he looked like an idiot. His eyes were wide and his mouth kept opening and closing. Inside, his heart felt as if it was trying to burst from his chest and warmth flooded him. It was all he wanted. It was everything.
“Maybe.” Ash’s mind was rushing in every direction, trying to consider all possibilities. “His staff is trustworthy. They're all good people and have been at Elston forever.” It was getting harder to sit still and stay calm. Ash wanted to jump on the furniture or run around the room. He wanted to tell Ned. He wanted to hold him and laugh. Ash knew there were still problems and they still had to hide but none of that mattered. The weight of hurting his family was gone and he wouldn’t have the pain of missing Ned anymore. Ash jumped to his feet and started pacing. He needed movement or else he was afraid he’d cry or explode. “I can close the house in Mayfair… I only go there to repack my trunks and visit my tailor.” A bark of laughter escaped Ash’s throat and he clapped his hand over his mouth. Ned’s words again. Henry stood up, laughing as he crossed the room.
“You’ll have to get used to
a delay in receiving your mail. I’ll forward everything to you.” Henry said. Ash turned to him and pulled him into an embrace. Henry hugged him back firmly.
“Thank you, Henry!” Once again, it was all he could manage. He let his brother feel his gratitude, love and overwhelming joy. Henry clapped him on the back and then looked at Ash. His eyes were warm and shined when they met Ash’s.
“I’ve been so worried about you for so long, Ash. It’s so good to see you happy. I just wish I would have seen it sooner and done more to help.” Henry said as he settled his hands on Ash’s shoulders and shook him affectionately. “I think it’s time for you to leave, Ash. Go home.” He said softly. Ash’s knees nearly gave out. Home. Ned. Dazed, Ash nodded. Henry pulled Ash into another hug then pushed him toward the door. “Get out. Just make sure you visit regularly. Bring Ned with you next time.” Henry ordered.
Ash let his feet carry him from the study. The trance broke when he reached his room. Suddenly giddy and impatient, Ash started rushing around, grabbing whatever was his. When his arms were full he realized he didn’t actually know how to pack. He didn’t even know where his trunks were. He dropped everything on the bed and grabbed the bell pull.
“We’re leaving, Heydon.” Ash informed his valet a few minutes later. “I’m taking Sleipnir as soon as I’ve said goodbye to my family. Follow as soon as you get everything packed.” Ash turned to leave but paused at the door when Heydon cleared his throat. Ash gestured impatiently for the man to ask his question.
“Where are we going, sir?” The valet asked. Ash thought he saw amusement in Heydon’s eyes. He narrowed his back.
“I’m needed at Elston.” He replied. Heydon smiled.
“Very good, sir. I should have everything packed and be on my way in a few hours.” The valet said as he collected the items from the bed. Ash nodded stiffly as he turned.
“Thank you, Heydon.” Ash called over his shoulder as he left.
It was true. Ash was needed at Elston. And he needed what was at Elston.
Chapter 20
“It was somewhere around here…” Ned mused as he scanned the shelves in the library. “Almanac, almanac, almanac…” He whispered as he tapped the books along the row. “Ah! Here it is!” Ned pulled the book from the shelf and started tapping along the spines as he moved right until he found what he was looking for. “And Voltaire for later.”
Ned smiled as he hugged the books to his chest and strode from the library. His campaign to stay busy while Ash was away had been very successful. He’d sent out a storm of letters each day to his land managers and he expected that he would see positive results. Ash would be proud of how productive he’d been. And I’ll have nothing to do but focus on Ash when he returns. Ned’s mind started to wander to what parts of Ash he’d like to focus on as he turned toward the study. He saw Ash out of the corner of his eye and dismissed it at first, shaking his head. Focus, Ned. You’re seeing things, he scolded himself then nearly dropped the books when Ash moved.
“Ned.” Ash’s voice was deep and soft. Ned’s eyes widened in surprise.
“What are you doing here? I didn’t expect you for another three days.” Ned whispered as Ash looked at the books in his hand.
“Man is free at the moment he wishes to be.” Ash’s eyes held Ned’s as he quoted. “Something happened. We need to talk, Ned.” His eyes flicked to the study and Ned nodded as he turned. Anxiety curled through Ned as he stepped into the study and let Ash pass. He shut the door and was thrown against the panels as he turned. Ned would have gasped in shock but Ash’s mouth crashed against his as his hands closed around Ned’s face. The kiss was so urgent and deep, it made Ned’s knees turn to water. Ash raised his head.
“Drop the books.” He commanded. Ned dropped the books. Ash growled as he pressed his body to Ned’s and his lips were all over Ned’s face. They found Ned’s ear. “Henry knows. My mother knows. Rebecca knows.” Ash’s words were so hot and wet and low, they made Ned shiver. Ned’s eyes flared.
“Good God! Are you all right?” His face whipped toward Ash’s and he searched his eyes. Warmth flooded Ned when Ash smiled and nodded softly.
“I’ve never been so happy in my life.” He whispered before his lips claimed Ned’s again. The kiss started out gentle and joyful, Ned felt tears burning his eyes. Then, he felt Ash’s very large and very hard erection pressed against his thigh. Ash groaned and angled his face. His tongue thrust and slid against Ned’s and everything became hot. Ash’s mouth was hot, his hands on Ned’s face and throat were hot. The bulge in Ash’s breeches felt like it would burn through layers of buckskin and wool and Ned felt like the room was suddenly way too hot to be wearing clothing. Ned felt Ash’s hands working at the falls of his trousers and he moaned into Ash’s mouth. He shut his eyes as a shudder passed through him when Ash pulled his erection free and started tugging gently. Ned nearly wept, Ash’s hand felt so perfect around him. Ash raised his head and Ned opened his eyes.
“What did Henry say?” Ned asked shakily. Ash’s smile made his heart stop. Then, Ash dropped to his knees and Ned’s heart started to beat wildly. He heard Ash inhale and groan rapturously before he set his tongue to the base of Ned’s cock. Ned’s hands grabbed at the door behind him, trying to find something to hold on to. Ash’s lips closed around him and he started sucking. His head rose and fell rapidly and Ned’s sack was quickly drenched in wet heat. Ash lifted his head and his hand stroked Ned’s rigid length as their gazes locked.
“He said I should tell everyone I’m living at Hendrick Hall.” Ash whispered the words against Ned’s erection. Ned was sure there was a question he should ask in return but his brain was utterly broken as Ash’s mouth closed around him. Ash’s lips slid down, taking Ned deep. Ned tried to move his tongue and noticed his mouth was dry, it had been hanging open for too long. He shut it and worked on making it feel normal while Ash worked on making Ned lose his mind. Ash held Ned against the back of his throat, swallowing and caressing him with his tongue. Ned blinked rapidly as he saw sparks before him. There was hard sucking as Ash slowly pulled back and Ned felt like he was sliding down the door. Ash looked up at Ned again. “Henry’s going to forward all of my mail here.” More soft, wet warmth around Ned’s cock as Ash started sucking again. Ned’s brain started assembling the sentences and a thought was forming. Ash gets his mail delivered here… Then, his brain went dormant again. Ash was hungrily licking and sucking as his hand pulled gently at Ned’s sack. Ned felt the pressure building and knew he wouldn’t last much longer. It was all too good and something in him knew that a very wonderful thing was happening and it wasn’t just Ash’s mouth upon him. Ash was sucking on the head of Ned’s cock and his tongue was pressing into the slit. Ned hissed and his hand slid around Ash’s head. He felt Ash’s head tilt and he looked down. Ash’s eyes were deep and intense. “I’m closing the house in Mayfair. I’m never leaving Elston unless you’re coming with me.” His mouth closed around Ned and he sucked hard.
That was it. Ned gasped as his balls pulled tight and heat rushed up the length of his erection. Liquid light exploded from the end of Ned’s cock and he clenched his jaw to keep from screaming as Ash’s hands closed around his ass, holding him deep in his throat as he swallowed the contents of Ned’s soul. Ned trembled against the door, his eyes squeezed shut and his chest heaving as Ash’s lips pressed gentle kisses to his sensitive, softening cock. Ash stood and placed his hands on the door outside of Ned’s shoulders. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ned’s. Ned licked them and couldn’t stop the laugh that slipped from his throat.
“I’m very excited about this.” Ned murmured against Ash’s lips. He felt Ash’s mouth curve against his.
“I noticed.” He rumbled. Ned nodded softly, loving how it made his lips brush against Ash’s.
“This is how I should like to receive all news in the future.” Ned declared. Ash laughed softly, the sound curling through Ned, leaving warmth in its wake.
Ned
pulled Ash close as he nibbled his lips until they opened. He tasted his seed in Ash’s mouth and he sent his tongue questing to find every trace of his essence. He felt the muscles in Ash’s body tense and his tongue became urgent in Ned’s mouth. Ned felt Ash’s hands working between them, swiftly opening the buttons of his breeches. Anticipation streaked through Ned as he reached down and grabbed Ash’s cock and started stroking. Ash was so hard and so hot. Ash threw his head back and his chest expanded as he pulled in a ragged breath.
Just as Ned was about to drop to his knees, Ash grabbed Ned’s shoulders and spun him, pushing him against the door. Ned smiled against the panels as he felt the warmth of Ash’s body behind him. Ash’s breath huffed, hot and moist against his ear and Ned shivered. Ned felt Ash’s hand against his back, removing something from his coat.
“I have a gift for you.” Ash panted in Ned’s ear.
“Hmm?” Ned was sure it was something fabulous but he didn’t want Ash to stop whatever he was about to do when he threw him against the door. Ash’s arm wrapped around him and his hand pressed against Ned’s chest, holding him close as the other arm reached around and revealed a silver flask. Ned frowned as he looked down. “That’s a lovely flask.” He mumbled as he arched his back against Ash. Ned was sure he’d adore it later. Ash laughed softly against Ned’s ear.
“It’s engraved.” More heat against Ned’s ear. Another shiver. Ash’s rigid length ground against the cleft of Ned’s ass. God, please! Ned reached back and grabbed Ash’s hip. “Look at it.” Ash ordered. Ned forced his eyes to focus. There was a large N and then small letters. For Ned. He nodded and swallowed a moan when Ash rolled his hips again.
“Thank you. I love it.” Ned prayed Ash would put the thing aside and do something, anything with the hard cock that was rubbing so deliciously against his ass.
“This isn’t for you.” Ash breathed against Ned’s ear. “This is mine. Yours has my name on it.” He continued to rock against Ned.