by Vi Carter
“Why don’t we take a walk today?” Hannah smiles down at me. It’s been three days. The ball was cancelled until further notice. Each day I’m waiting to hear that it’s soon, so we can leave this place. Maybe they would give us a chance to see our families before we started this nightmare all over again with Henry. I shiver and Hannah sits on the side of the bed.
“Ella, who isn’t Bella. Get up.” Hannah’s flushed cheeks and worried eyes have me sitting up.
“I’m fine,” I say with no truth in my words. My unwashed body and crumbled clothes can confirm the lies.
Jessie is sitting at my dressing table, she’s facing us. Her eyes don’t hold the sympathy that Hannah's does. But Hannah wears her heart on her sleeve, while Jessie, you need to scrape the surface to see it.
“We got word that today the date’s start with Henry.” Jessie states before running her hand across her ponytail. A trait I associated with her nerves.
Hannah is chewing her lip. I'm unsure how she has any skin left. I take her hand getting her attention.
I have never allowed myself to imagine having a friend like Hannah, friends were the real fairy tales that I never got to read. So that is what I would take from this place - friendship. My heart pangs, reminding me of my loss and I focus on the flesh in my hands.
“We are going to be fine,” I say.
Hannah nods unconvincingly.
“Do you want to know why?” I glance at Jessie too. “I’ve never had friends before. Now, I have you two.” I look back at Hannah who’s smiling widely. “We have each other.”
Hannah’s hug is the warmth that makes your body sag and take a breath, it also allows the emotions that are just under the surface to stir. I break the hug.
“We will be fine.”
This time Hannah’s nod is convincing. “Yes, we will. Now you need a wash. You smell.”
“Since you are going on the first date with Henry,” Jessie adds.
Hannah rolls her eyes. “You can’t just blurt it out.”
I climb out of bed, Henry’s name is making me twitchy but I want this done and over with.
“She’s right. I better get showered.”
Surprise flitters through Hannah’s eyes at my quickness to shower. I need to get that finger out of the hot tub. I shiver again as I strip. If I was to do anything right, it would be to protect Hannah and Jessie by giving it to him so they would be left alone. They might have a chance of going home and finding their happy endings.
The burn across the bridge of my nose has me jumping into the shower without letting it heat up. I need to run from the thoughts that are demanding to be listened to.
***
It’s warm outside today. My stomach won’t settle every time I think of ‘the date’ with Henry. But it is an opportunity to make the deal with him. Guilt churns heavily in my stomach and it feels sour as I reach the hot tub. I’m not sure how long I have before Hannah notices I’m missing. I can see her having a fit with worry, but I need to make sure the finger is still here.
I can’t stop myself from glancing at the double doors that I know lead into Lucas’s bedroom. My mind snaps to Sandra in there and Lucas touching her. A fire rages through me at the thought. Sandra was upstairs lounging while Mary fanned her down. Her glory of winning Lucas’s hand hadn’t helped the last few days. Gripping the tarp, I steady myself.
“Ella.”
I spin around so fast I nearly fall. Lucas steps to help me and I move back, nearly falling backwards. Gripping the hot tub’s edge, I manage to steady myself. My heart is beating heavily against my chest.
He looks so good. A hand tightens around my heart.
“What are you doing?” He stuffs his hands in his trouser pockets causing the muscles on his arm to bulge. Did they always bulge like that? I want those arms around me. I want him to tell me he’s marrying me.
I want him.
I am so pathetic after everything he did. “Nothing.” I manage to squeeze out between my pounding heart and aching chest.
“I’m glad you’re here.” His eyes bore into me and I tell myself not to waver.
“Are you? Or maybe you were expecting Sandra?” I don’t want to sound so jealous, but jealousy doesn’t come close to what I felt for him.
His lips tug slightly like I’m amusing him. My throat burns. Did he care that he had hurt me? Humiliated me?
“I am happy to see you.” He exhales loudly and removes his hands from his pocket. He glances around him quickly before folding his arms across his chest.
“I better get back.” Standing here and pretending everything is fine is too much for me. Maybe he can do it, but I can’t.
I pause, not wanting to walk any closer. He is in my way. “Move.” I order and his lips tug up higher.
“You’re sexy when you’re angry.”
His words cause a tide to rise inside me. He thinks I am sexy? The one emotion that is rising the fastest, is that he thinks this is anger.
“Angry? Have you any idea of how much you hurt me?” Pain explodes and burns my eyes.
His smile melts from his face. “Ella, I did it to protect you.” He unfolds his arms and takes a step towards me.
“Do I look like I’m protected?” Everything hurts and I don’t want to do this with him. I don’t want him to give me hope only to take it away again.
His jaw clenches. “You just need to trust me.”
Tears fall that I don’t want to fall. I wipe the treacherous tears away. “You had my trust, I gave you the best of me and you humiliated me.”
Lucas takes another step. It’s controlled, almost measured, like he wants to come closer but can’t. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
“Are you calling off the wedding to Sandra?” The small part of me that is clinging to hope pleads with him.
“I can’t.” His growl has me knowing I need to leave before I shatter at his feet.
I move past him, his hand grips my wrist stopping me. He doesn’t face me as I glance up at his side profile. His fingers burn into my skin and it’s like Lucas has a direct link to my heart, the one he is breaking even further.
“Please trust me, Ella.”
I pull my arm out of his grasp, unable to bare his touch any longer. “I hate you.” The words drip from my lips, fueled with all the pain, and he glances at me. I can see the hurt I’ve just inflicted on him.
Good. He might understand what I’m feeling. I try to look less thrown together as I return to the house. I am no further on without the finger. But I know where it is and that will have to do for now.
“I hope you weren’t pining after my husband.” Sandra’s voice grates at me as I clear the last step.
“Give it a rest Sandra.” Hannah glares at her before that glare is focused on me. I can see the question in her eyes. Where was I? Why did I go? What trouble have I gotten into now?
“He’s all yours,” I tell her.
Her sneer has me looking up. “I clearly remember you saying that to Vicky and then you threw yourself at him.”
My heart thrashes against my chest like a trapped animal.
“You’re just jealous because we can all see how he looks at Ella.” Hannah speaks up for me and I’m so tired. Her words aren’t true.
“Yes, Hannah, I will admit I’m not blind.”
Sandra stands now, Mary and Bernie mimicking her movements. “He looks at you with lust, but he looks at me as an equal. As his wife. His love.”
Saliva pools in my mouth. Is she right? Is he with me just so he can sleep with me and now I am disposable? Pain tears through me at how naïve I’ve been.
“Lady Ella.” I turn to Mark, unsure how long he has been standing there listening to us.
“She’s hardly a lady.” Sandra’s words are low but I hear them and now I wonder, if Lucas told her I’d slept with him. My face grows hotter by the second.
“Henry is ready for your date.” He gives me a look from my toes to my head. I’m wearing a simple white summer dress
and flip flops. I’m not dressed for a date.
“I’m ready,” I say, wanting to get away from the carnage of this conversation with Sandra.
My date with Henry is surprisingly in the gardens too, only he has set his up at the mouth of the maze. He’s facing the maze, his back to me as Mark leads me right up to the blanket.
“Sit.” Henry points at the space across from him. I do and am aware of how boxed in I feel to have the maze at my back and Henry in front of me. He smiles and I can’t return it.
“Eat, Ella.” He chews on a sandwich but my stomach is too sour. I pick up one small one and just hold it in my hand.
“I’m going to pick you because I feel like we already have a connection.” My hand tightens around the dough. This is what I wanted for Hannah and Jessie so they could live their lives. But being tied to Henry while I watch Lucas with someone else is a new kind of pain.
“Don’t look so sad. It’s an honor.” He smiles and my fingers touch each other as they break through the bread. I release the squashed sandwich and swallow the pool of liquid in my mouth.
He eats several sandwiches and I hate the sensation I’m feeling of falling. Like the ground is shifting under me. I steady myself with one hand before filling up a glass of water. My hand shakes, if Henry notices he doesn’t say.
“Now with the matter of your friends, I still need that box …” He moves his head from side to side. “Or I’ll hurt them.” He settles on.
How much more could they suffer? They still had to go on a date with him. Isn’t that torture enough? I keep my words to myself, but I want to lash out and hurt him.
“I have the box,” I say.
Surprise flitters across his eyes that already dance with madness. “Where?”
It’s my turn to smile. “It’s safe, that's all you need to know.” I want to ask a hundred questions about the finger, but I don’t want to look eager or he will surely use it against me.
“Don’t play games with me.” He flips easily, just like a switch. He’s hunched, his lips tugged down into a frown. It feels like a long bony finger moves up my spine causing me to shiver.
“If you test me, I will make our wedding night very painful for you.”
It’s like I’ve been slapped. Did he just threaten me with rape? My chest burns.
He smiles in victory. “I will only be taking what’s mine.” He sounds so smug.
My heart slams against my chest as my anger boils over. “You’re too late, your brother already had me. So I’m soiled goods. Second best for you, Henry.” I slam my hands across my mouth once the words pour out. I’ve made a terrible mistake.
One that I can’t take back. One that I will pay for if I base the outcome on the look that Henry sears me with.
I’m aware of Mark standing close to us, no doubt he heard me and I need to take it back, I need to make this right.
“I didn’t…” I’m shaking my head.
Henry’s face is red, every part of it looks like he’s going to explode. He reaches across and grips my arm, dragging me to my feet.
“Henry.” Mark calls and Henry doesn’t hear him as he drags me away from the maze and towards the house. His grip is like iron and fear tightens across my chest.
What have I done?
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
LUCAS
I don’t move after Ella leaves. I try to control the need to chase after her. I didn’t think she would be that angry. I knew it would hurt her, but deep down, I thought she would see past my words and remember what we had together. She had looked so innocent and beautiful in the white dress.
I move around the hot tub wondering what she had been doing out here. At first I had been overwhelmed with relief when I thought she had come to speak to me, but that faded quickly when I could see her eyes. I stand where she had. She had been touching the tarp. I lift it and look in.
I don’t know why I’m smiling as I lift out my black t-shirt. I feel the box before I see it. I knew she had taken it. But why is my real question and why is she getting it now? What trouble is she in?
I take the box back into my room. I can only hope she hadn’t opened it. Placing it on a different shelf, I lean my head against the shelving. Having Declan’s finger didn’t really matter. Did I really care who killed him? A part of me wants to take it back and wait to see when she returns, what she intends to do with it. I leave the wardrobe and the finger in it. George is someone who I haven’t seen much of and I need to ask him of his involvement in all this. I am avoiding it; I don’t want Henry to be right.
My bedroom door bursts open, surprising me.
I reach for George. “What’s wrong?” He looks ghostly white.
“Henry has taken Ella to your father. You need to get there.” I’m moving through the halls. I can hear Henry’s hysterical shouts as I enter my father’s lair.
“I want her strung and quartered.” He’s pointing at Ella, who’s kneeling on the floor, her head is bent. I’m beside her and squat down, not caring anymore about who’s looking. I’m praying that he hasn’t hurt her.
“Look at me.” Dread plunges into my stomach as Ella looks up. I’m searching her face. She seems unharmed, her eyes are wide and filled with fear. I touch her face and she leans into my hand, like it might take this all away.
“Get away from my wife.” Henry’s words bounce off me. I’ll deal with him in a moment, right now I need to take this pain away from Ella. Her eyes stare up at me.
“I’m so sorry.” Her voice wobbles with fear. Shaking my head, I force a smile. I want her to know it will be okay. I will fix this. I stand and help her rise slowly. She leans into me once we are standing and I look up and into my father’s eyes. He shows no emotion as he stands and stares at us.
“Get your hands off her.” Henry is still wailing, his voice shrill with rage.
“That’s enough Henry.” My father barks and silence falls across the room. Ella’s tremble shakes her body and I tighten my hold on her.
“Let her go, Lucas.” My father speaks carefully and I know that taking my arms from her is wise. He’s beyond angry and that’s dangerous. I release her but don’t move away. My body can’t seem to distance itself any further. My father seems satisfied.
“He defiled my wife.” Henry is calmer but his voice is high pitched with anger that I’ve never heard before.
“Is the accusation true?” My father questions.
I tighten my fists. I don’t dare look to Ella. “She’s not his wife.” I state.
My father nods in agreement. “She’s not yours either.”
“Does it matter if she’s my wife? Can’t I have my fun just like you, father?” I’m crossing a line with both my father and Ella, I know it. She wasn’t fun, but I need to drive my point home that this is unnecessary. We don’t have to entertain Henry just because he isn’t getting his way.
My father’s stare is heavy until he turns his back on us. I’m not sure what is happening until he starts to give us a history lesson.
“Generations of the O’ Faolain’s have led this community. We rule tens of thousands of people, year in and year out it grows. We follow simple rules. If we start to bend and break them, chaos will prevail. The system will crash and we will have nothing left. I have bent these rules for both of you and it has done no good. In fact, it has harmed our family's reputation.”
He turns to us. “That ends now. I was given two sons, two possible leaders, and so far you are both a disappointment. I blame myself.” He takes a step towards us. Ella is still trembling beside me and I want to comfort her, but my touch will bring her too much pain.
“I spoiled you.” My father stands in front of me. “I allowed this,” He points at Ella without looking at her. “To go on for your pleasure, but it needs to end now and you will take your rightful place at the head of this family, with Sandra Crowley at your side.”
I don’t let his words sink fully in. But I see the truth in his eyes. “You can’t outrun this, you can’t
leave. It’s really a pity you boys didn’t educate yourself better on our ways.”
My father turns to Henry. “Henry is correct. To not be a virgin before your wedding night to an elite is punishable by hanging.”
My stomach twists painfully as Ella whimpers. My father returns to me, his eyes glowing with the power of this moment. “To walk away from this community, son, is death.” He delivers each word like a blow. I can hear Ella’s breathing become labored.
Death sounds more pleasurable than this. My father holds up a hand. “Of course we aren’t barbaric.” He moves to Ella. “I won’t have you hung, but I have overlooked too much for you. This is where it ends.” He tells Ella and I want to stand in front of her and stop this. But any power I felt I had, is dwindling fast. If I do anything, I could make this worse.
“That’s not fair.” Henry’s whines are ignored by my father as he keeps his focus on Ella. “You will be locked up until I decide your fate.” Ella’s head snaps up.
“Master Andrew, I’ll take her place.” I take a step forward and I’m ready to beg. His eyes meet mine, the hardness in them is unshakable. He walks past me.
“The only thing that isn’t fair Henry, is that I was given a gay son.” Henry flinches at my father’s tone. “One who is a half-wit.” Henry flinches again. “I can’t keep protecting you. Not when you disregard my authority.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong.” Henry points at me. “He always takes what’s mine.”
My father’s hand connects with Henry’s face and the sound bounces around the room. Henry recoils from my father while holding his face. “Don’t ever speak out of turn again.”
My father walks back to his desk. “This disregard ends here and now. No one will speak unless they are spoken to. My word is final.” He’s staring at me as he speaks.
“Mark.” I half glance over my shoulder as Mark steps up between me and Henry. I hadn’t known he was here. I turn again and see George never left either. His eyes clash with mine and he slowly backs out of the room.