Fractured Breaths

by Zoey Derrick

  A small crowd forms, surrounding the entrance to the spire. It’s significantly smaller than I’d expected it to be. I mean, it is Bryan Hayes after all.

  His stubborn ass refuses to call me.

  My stubborn ass realized I owe him an apology and I’m determined to give him one. In person.

  Ireland: Are you listening?

  Livia: I am.

  Ireland: Did you make it?

  Livia: I did. I’m here. Outside the radio station.

  Ireland: Stalker.

  I laugh.

  Livia: Well, considering all station listeners know he’s here, I’d hardly call that stalking.

  Ireland: Truth. Keep me posted.

  Livia: Will do.

  Livia: Thanks.

  Ireland: For?

  Livia: Always being there.

  Ireland: That’s what friends are for. *smooches*

  A Keith Urban song plays on the radio as I wait in my car. It’s a favorite song of mine that reminds me of my life. Then again, I think most of his songs do that. I’m singing along when I’m interrupted by a loud knock on my window. I squeal and jump before turning to see who’s outside my car. All I can see is black pants, a black belt, and a gun. “Livia, get out.”

  “Shit.”

  Liam chuckles as I open the door I turn up the radio before I climb out. Can’t miss my song.

  “How the fuck did you know I was here?” I glare at him.

  He laughs, “I saw you when we pulled in. What are you doing here?”

  “What do you think?”

  “He doesn’t want to talk to you.” His voice is deadpan.

  “Bullshit,” I snap. “Are you the reason he hasn’t called me?”

  My phone chimes in my hand. It’s a text from a private number.

  “No, Livia, I’m not. He’s an adult.”

  “Why are you so against me being with him?” I ask as I unlock my phone.

  “I’m not. Despite your beliefs, I worry what this kind of lifestyle would mean for you.”

  “Meaning what, exactly?” I look at him while I wait for my messaging app to load.

  “That,” he says as he points toward the spire where Bryan is and the many faces pressed to the glass along with more than fifteen different cameras all waiting for a shot, a glimpse, of the man himself. There’s everything from video to still cameras. My heart sinks. “Is that what you want? Your face plastered everywhere? People talking about you? Your past getting brought up? People digging into everything you’ve worked so hard to suppress, not to mention Ricci or one of his goons could see you, find you. Do you want that?”

  I look him square in the eyes and tell him with conviction, “If it means I can stop running, then yes. I want that.”

  My phone beeps again and the radio switches to the DJ as I look at my phone.

  Private Number: Turn on your radio.

  “Livia, you’re never going to be able to stop running.”

  “Then maybe it’s time to face the music,” I admit.

  “How you doing, Bryan?” the DJ asks.

  “I’m good, doing good. Really excited to be here tonight,” he drawls in his sexy southern accent.

  “He’s nervous, isn’t he?” I ask Liam.

  He snorts, “Petrified.”

  “Why?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “You’ll see.” We stand there listening to Bryan and the DJ, Dewie, talking about miscellaneous stuff for a few minutes. “Would you rather listen from your car or inside?”

  I look at him, my eyes wide with fear, a fear I didn’t know I had inside of me and Liam leans into me. “I will protect you, no matter what,” he whispers. “That was the vow I made to your father all those years ago. I failed you by letting Ricci get his hands on you, but I can assure you that I will never ever let that happen again.”

  “So, the new album, tell us a little about it?” Dewie asks Bryan through the radio.

  “Well, it’s number six.”

  Dewie laughs, but it’s obvious that Bryan is nervous, which is unusual for him. “Number six in just under eight years. That’s a lot of albums,” Dewie adds.

  “It is, but I’ve got a lot of songs to sing. Working with songwriters is probably my favorite part of doing what I do and this album? It’s, well, Dewie, it’s probably my favorite. It’s full of heart, emotion and there’s a little heart on your sleeve mentality to it.”

  “You can say that again. I should tell you, Bryan, this album is, it’s simply incredible. The stories you tell are amazing and there’s just so much raw heart and emotion behind it. Where did you get all that?”

  I look at Liam, silently seeking answers while we wait for Bryan’s answer to the question.

  “I found it in Phoenix, Arizona,” he says and Liam gives me a smile unlike anything I’ve ever seen from him before.

  “That is why he hasn’t called you and that is why you have that text message. He’s been planning this whole thing for the last couple months. The only factor he didn’t consider is that you’d show up here.”

  “What did you find in Phoenix?” Dewie asks Bryan.

  “Something I never expected to find and that I hope to one day see again.”

  “So is there a woman in county music’s biggest superstar’s life?”

  My heart freezes. What if he found someone else? Panic courses through my body and my heart picks up to double time. The look on my face alerts Liam to my distress. “Relax,” he says softly.

  “That, Dewie, is a question that will be answered in time.”

  “Fair enough. So what do you say we get to it? How about we give the fans a little tease of the upcoming album with the title track. Now, this was originally supposed to be the first single off the album. What made you change your mind?”

  “I wanted to change it up a little. I love this song and the writers behind this song have been incredible to work with, it just doesn’t seem like that right time to premiere it as a single.”

  “But you’re gonna let us play the title track here today?”

  “I am, Dewie, and I think my fans will really love the song. It was the song that kicked off the album writing process and it’s been a true labor of love.”

  “Want to introduce it for us?”

  “It’s called ‘Bring on Tomorrow’.”

  The voices disappear and there are a couple guitar chords before the music kicks up and Bryan’s gorgeous voice comes through my radio and the first song from his upcoming album is playing on the radio. It’s not the big reveal, but usually when they do these release launches, they’ll play a couple songs from the new album. I’m excited to hear the first single.

  I knew I needed to be here for it. Something kept telling me I needed to hear this song. What he’s told Dewie so far about changing up the single song at the last minute just reiterates why I drove all this way.

  “You ready to go inside?” Liam asks. I got so engrossed in listening to them talking on the radio I almost forgot he was here.

  “Is that really a good idea?”

  Liam smiles at me. “I think so. Right now, they are moving downstairs where they do the live sessions. If you don’t want him to know you’re here, you can blend in down there.”

  Without thinking about it, I climb back into my car, turn the car off and climb back out, locking the car. “I guess it’s better than acting like a crazed fan when he tries to leave.”

  Liam winks at me. “Now you’re learning. Come on.”

  I follow Liam toward the tower and my heart picks up its pace with each step I take. The closer we get, the more my breathing becomes labored, not from walking, but from freaking out. I drove all this way on the hope that maybe I would be able to get his attention when he went to leave. If that didn’t work, I wasn’t opposed to stalking him.

  “What were you gonna do if he didn’t see you?” Liam asks like he has a line to my thoughts.

  I snort, “Follow you.”

  “Bit stalker-ish, don’tcha think?” Lia
m says with humor in his voice.

  “Well, all my other attempts to reach him have failed,” I tell him. It’s the truth. I respected Ireland for keeping the number from me. She understood I wasn’t just a fan looking for a number. It wouldn’t have looked very good on Cami or Bold’s part if they handed out one of their biggest client’s phone numbers to someone they didn’t know.

  “Aye, but listen, lass. Part of him not reaching out to you is self-preservation.” He turns toward me.

  “What’s that supposed to mean exactly?”

  “It means he met you in a strip club. Now, whether you still work there or not is a moot point.”

  “He also met me in a bar at a friend’s birthday party and the name Becca Carpenter is not associated with anything stripper related. If you run a background check on me, which I’m sure you have, then you’d know that Becca worked only at Dunkin’ Donuts.”

  “Smart lass,” he smirks before turning and opening the door.

  Between the door and the makeshift stage area there are several dozen people and I sneak behind them while Liam goes in the opposite direction. I can easily see him over the crowd and while my five foot eight frame isn’t tiny, the tallest people in the room are in the back. I find a place to squeeze in and I peer between the shoulders of two men, giving me a great view of Bryan and Dewie, the station’s DJ, as they continue talking about the album. I drown them out and focus on Bryan. He’s sitting on a stool with his guitar strung across his lap.

  If I thought Bryan was sexy before, seeing him like this now is way better than even my biggest fantasy could conjure up. His long legs allow one foot to rest on the floor and the other, the one with the guitar on it, is sitting on a rung of the stool. He’s wearing a baseball cap, and t-shirt that has some writing on it, but I can’t quite tell what it is. The shirt is tight on him, showing off his muscles.

  He’s unshaven. Scruffy. Like he’s been hiding in the dark for the last few weeks. Put the whole package together and there isn’t a woman in the world who wouldn’t do anything to be with him. Women who would do far more than I ever could or did by driving across the country.

  Watching him and seeing him makes me wonder if I’ve made a huge mistake.

  Then my mind wanders back to the random text message I got.

  I pull my phone from my pocket and read it again.

  Private Number: Turn on your radio.

  Private number? Bryan? Liam? Who would text me…?

  “Ladies and gentleman, the premiere of ‘Fate Has a Reason’ by Bryan Hayes.”

  I hold my breath in anticipation.

  Bryan starts to strum his guitar. The melody is soft, slow, and deliberate. The acoustic sound carries throughout the room as Bryan leans into the microphone and starts to sing.

  Met you in a club.

  Saw you dancing there…

  Your body like an unanswered prayer

  I pull in a sharp breath through my teeth as he continues singing.

  Then you gave me the reason I needed

  The hope that had faded

  Became fate that had a reason.

  Fate has a reason

  For bringing me to you.

  Fate has a reason

  For all that we do.

  Fate has a reason

  For showing me you.

  Before I know what’s happening, I’m trying to push my way toward the front of the crowd without making a scene. I need him to see me, I want him to see me.

  I only make it a row in before a hand wraps around my arm. I turn to punch out the person who’s touching me only to realize it’s Liam. He puts his finger to his lips, indicating I need to be quiet then points his thumb over his shoulder and he brings me along. Once we’re in the back of the crowd, he releases me and I follow him off to the side, right into Bryan’s line of sight. And our eyes meet.

  Chapter Eleven

  Off Balance.

  BRYAN

  It takes everything I have to keep singing when my eyes land on the gorgeous eyes that have been invading my dreams and consuming my life since I left Phoenix a couple months ago.

  All the strength I’d thought I’d had performing this song slides out of my body. Considering her full, beautiful, emotion filled eyes is almost my undoing.

  One final chorus.

  I can do this.

  Fate has a reason

  For bringing me to you.

  Fate has a reason

  For all that we do.

  Fate has a reason

  For showing me you.

  The audience erupts in cheers.

  “There you have it, folks, the world premiere of Bryan Hayes’s newest single, ‘Fate Has a Reason’, live. We’ll be back after these songs for more with Bryan Hayes.”

  Then the music cuts in and the crowd keeps cheering, but I hear none of it. I only have eyes for her.

  Dewie, the station’s DJ, comes over and congratulates me on another hit. We chat for a few moments before we return to the airwaves.

  Livia never strays too far from me. I can’t begin to imagine what it is she’s doing here, but judging from the unshed tears in her eyes, I’m not the only one who’s been a wreck these last two months.

  Before I’m escorted back upstairs to the studio, I walk over to her, our gazes locked on each other the whole time.

  “Stay?” I ask since she can’t accompany me upstairs.

  “I will.”

  “Good,” I tell her as I’m whisked back upstairs.

  My radio spot lasts another twenty minutes with questions and some calls from listeners. So far the feedback has been amazing and while the song is deeply personal for me, I’m glad people are catching the true meaning behind the song.

  Liam meets me outside the studio and we head down in the elevator together. While we were upstairs the lobby was supposed to be cleared of people. “She still here?”

  “Aye,” he tells me.

  “Did you know she was coming?”

  He snorts, “How would I know that?”

  “I don’t know. You have a knack for knowing all sorts of shit. I figured you knew she was coming.”

  “No, but when we pulled in I saw her in her car. That was where I found her before bringing her inside.”

  “That nearly killed me,” I breathe.

  He chuckles, “I know, lad.”

  The elevator doors open and the only person in the lobby, besides the security staff, is her. She looks at me as the doors open and she smiles a bright smile and my heart melts a little more.

  “Hi,” she breathes as I come to stand next to her.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Her smile fades. “You asked me to stay,” she counters, but her voice betrays her confusion.

  “No, I mean here in Nashville,” I clarify.

  “I never heard from you.”

  “That’s not true. I texted you about forty minutes ago,” I smirk.

  “From a private number, not exactly conducive for texting back.”

  “So you drove across the country in the hopes of seeing me?” I ask. I know why she’s here and I’m glad she’s here, but I need to hear her say it.

  “Well, I figured one of two things would happen. Either you’d acknowledge my existence or you’d ignore me completely. One way or another I would have my answers.”

  “To what, exactly?”

  “Is this really the best place to have this conversation?” she asks. She has a valid point, it’s most certainly not.

  “Where are you staying?”

  “With you,” she answers quickly and unabashedly.

  “That’s awfully presumptuous of you, sweetheart.”

  Her eyes narrow at me, her cheeks flare red briefly before her jaw ticks. “Don’t call me that,” she says through clenched teeth.

  “You’re like an angry cat ready to pounce, aren’t you?”

  She releases the air she was holding and relaxes. “This was a mistake.” She moves to walk away. “Congrats on the n
ew single. It’s amazing, Bryan.”

  She walks quickly, passing through the doors before I can register what’s happened in the last ten seconds.

  “Livia, wait.” She doesn’t stop, she keeps walking toward the parking lot and the doors slide close behind her.

  “What the hell, Bryan?” Liam snaps at me.

  “Shit.” I take off after her, charging quickly through the doors. “Livia, wait.”

  She still doesn’t answer, doesn’t even flinch. She just keeps charging toward her destination. Likely her car.

  “Dammit, Becca, wait.”

  She skids to a stop before turning back to me. “You’re a cocksucker, you know that?”

  “And you’re fucking gorgeous when you’re angry.”

  We slam into each other. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, holding her to me. She’s pushing back and I don’t blame her, but I don’t care. I crush my lips to hers. My breathing is ragged from running after her but it gets worse the moment our lips touch. Her breathing hitches and she moans into my mouth. Her body falls lax in my arms and she stops struggling. I slide my tongue against her lips before she gives me the access I need and I slide my tongue in along hers. Her breathing quickens and I can feel her heartbeat increasing under my fingers on her neck.

  I pull back, gasping for air, but I don’t release her. “Stay with me.”

  She looks at me as if I’ve just lost my mind. I probably have. “I should go back home.”