Giving In (The Sandy Cove Series Book 1)

by M. R. Joseph

  I look up at him confused. “How did you know?”

  “Well for starters, you were dangerously pale the whole time and I caught you several times counting the tiles on the waiting room floor. You must have done it a half dozen times.”

  “That’s how I calmed myself.”

  He smiles at me. “That must have been really hard for you to see Bella in that room, and I’m guessing that’s why you wouldn’t hold the baby.”

  I touch the tip of his nose. “Score one for the big guy.”

  “So I was in the hospital for a few days, telling my parents I went to Florida for Spring Break with the girls. Willow paid for the whole hospital stay in cash from her trust fund so we didn’t have to use my parent’s insurance then they wouldn’t know.”

  He brings me in closer to him, holding onto me for dear life. I hear him say against my ear, “My God what you must have been through.”

  “They only left my ovaries. Apparently they work just fine. I’m in therapy. Have been for a while now. His name is Dr. Goldberg. He knows all about you. He even told me once he thought I had feelings for you.”

  He brings my face up towards him and looks in my eyes.

  “Really? Well I’ll have to meet him someday, won’t I?”

  He kisses the tip of my nose. Such a simple gesture, but one that I adore.

  “Turnip, your parents seem to be incredible people who I think would have helped you and understood. Fuck Knox and whomever else.”

  I agree with him.

  “But that’s not all there is.”

  He looks startled. “There’s more?”

  “Yes. When I came home I told Chad what happened and here I found out he was with someone, and he didn’t want her to find out about me. That’s why he wanted me to get rid of the baby. I didn’t see him again until a few weeks later at the country club with his face bashed in.”

  “Why was his face bashed in? Not that I’m opposed to having his face bashed in, but continue.”

  “Craw did it after I tried to kill myself.”

  He quickly moves me off his lap and rests me on the couch, pacing in front of me. His hands go immediately to his hair, tugging it like he does when he’s upset or nervous.

  “I don’t understand how and why you could do that to yourself. Out of all this, Turnip. You… You are so smart and so caring and so fucking beautiful, why you would want to end it all over some mother fucker like Knox. And I’ll fucking kill him, Harlow. I swear it.”

  I stand up and take his face in my hands. Willing him to look at me.

  “I’m fine. I took pills. Craw found me. They pumped my stomach. I didn’t take enough to kill myself anyway. I can’t even do that right.”

  That’s when he walks away from me. Going into the bathroom and slamming the door. It seems like he’s in there forever. I knock on the door.

  “Cruz. Are you ok?” The door swings open and he engulfs me in an embrace, squeezing the air from my lungs.

  “Don’t you ever joke about something like that, don’t you ever think you’re not worthy of anything, cause you are, you’re everything. Do you hear me? You. Are. Everything.”

  I cry on his shoulder, relinquishing so many pent up emotions, months of anguish, but yet a sense of relief.

  “Oh, baby, don’t cry. Please, it’s ok. I’m so glad you told me. Please baby, look at me.”

  He brings our faces close together, leaving his eyes closed, running his thumbs over my freckles.

  “I know. I’m sorry I kept it from you. I should have told you sooner.”

  We stand here like this for what seems like forever. He lifts his head and looks at me with such amazement in his eyes.

  “You let me call you baby. And you did it without telling me not to.” I smile making it seem to him he made a break through, which in fact he did.

  “Want to know why I hated it?”

  “Pftt, you might as well. I know everything else right?”

  “Chad called me it, and every time he did it made me sick to my stomach. Every time he tried to get me back, even the night I met you last summer, he said it. He was there that night with another girl, but he still cornered me when she wasn’t around. Every time he tried to convince me that he was the only one who would love me, he called me baby.”

  Cruz steps away from me, megawatt smile present and accounted for.

  “Good, I’m glad you told me, ‘cause I like Turnip so much better anyway.”

  ***

  CHAPTER 14

  When the truth slaps you in the face, make sure you turn your head and take it like a man

  Cruz~

  I’ll kill that mother fucker. I’ve killed people in battle before, I don’t think I’d have problems killing Chad Knox. As much as it pains me to say, and as much as I hate what Knox did to her, Harlow’s smarter than that. What kind of hold did this asshole of all assholes have on her?

  She appears on the outside to be so strong. See, she has this way about her, the kind that makes you feel like you’re the most important person in the world. No one has ever made me feel like that. Only her and that’s why she’s mine.

  It’s not easy being away from her, especially after the last visit when she told me about what happened to her, and the reason why I want to kill Chad Knox.

  When I’m on duty, I dig out my phone constantly, so I can look at a picture of her. I miss seeing her face. I’m pretty sure I’m bordering on stalker because I sleep with her pillow from Willow’s parent’s house next door. I stole it once she left for her new job in August.

  Huge. Pussy.

  Yea, well the girl does stuff like that to me. It smells of her. Even, after all this time, it has a few stray strands of her hair still on it. Before I drift off to sleep, I inhale the scent that lingers, and I feel close to her.

  Unbelievable, right?

  Renting the house from Porter’s parents is great, but lonely. Max will come down sometimes to hang, or play a gig at Jax when he has a break from school, but mostly it’s just me. On my days off I work out or I take a run on the beach, which is as cold as a witch’s tit. November isn’t kind to Sandy Cove. I pick up overtime when it’s available, just so I have something to do, so that I’m not constantly thinking of her. On my not-so-consecutive days off, I go see my nephew. He’s got to be the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen. Before, he was just this blob, eating and shitting, sleeping and shitting again. Now he actually smiles at me, even blows those silly raspberries out of his mouth everyone gushes over. I have to be the constant joke between Bella and Tony about Harlow.

  Bella knew how I felt about her, that I better not fuck it up, be good to her, and Bella is constantly saying, “See Antonio, I knew it, that girl changed him.”

  Truth is, yes, she did. And that fact continues to make me a pussy. Do I care? Do I mind? Abso-fucking-lutely not!

  As I sit here in my patrol car in front of Jax, I think back to the night I told her how I felt about her. I would have never pictured us being together. I mean she hated me at one time. Crushing my balls, punching me, and thinking I was a man-whore. Which I was. I was the biggest man-whore known to man, but things change.

  Harlow’s ring tone sounds in my ear and it’s freaking one a.m. on a Wednesday. I can’t imagine why she’s awake, but I just have to smile, knowing when I answer it will be her voice.

  “Hey there, Turnip. Why up so late? You o.k.?”

  “Hey baby. Yes, I’m fine. I just missed talking to you today and I couldn’t sleep. How are you?”

  When she calls me baby, I think it’s the sweetest fucking thing that comes out of her mouth. That and that tongue of hers when she’s kissing me.

  “I’m bored out of my mind. Did you have a good day at school?”

  “Yes. It was great. Those kids are cool.”

  “I can’t wait to meet them someday.”

  She’s silent, and I can hear the rustling of the sheets beneath her, and fuck me, but I wish I were between those sheets with her.


  “Turnip? What’s going on?” The tone of my voice goes up an octave when I ask.

  “Well… How about that someday being sooner than later?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Can you come to career day on the twenty fourth? It’s the week before Thanksgiving.”

  I tell her to hold on and I dig out my schedule for that week. I don’t have off, but I tell her that I can try and switch with someone. She sounds disappointed, and I am too, but I’m still going to try.

  “Babe, I know this is hard and it’s not the ideal situation, but I’m trying here.”

  I can tell she’s crying.

  “I know, I know. I just… I just miss you so much, and even though I’m not alone, I feel like that.”

  She hurts my heart, and I want nothing more than to be with her, right now.

  “Me too, sweetheart. Me too.” I hear a sob escape her.

  I need to lighten the mood a little and quick.

  “Wanna have phone sex?”

  She laughs. “You’re insatiable, you know that?”

  “Yes ma’am, I do.”

  So I let the game begin, but as much as I’d love to pull out Morty and give him some exercise, I’m working and that would be illegal, so this will be all about Harlow.

  “So what are you wearing?” I whisper to her.

  In a seductive voice she tells me, “My plaid, flannel pajama pants, and my dad’s old college t-shirt.”

  “Ohhh, that’s so hot, babe. Tell me more. Are you wearing granny panties too?”

  She laughs, then moans, playing along well.

  “Oh, yea. They are two sizes too big and ivory cotton. They even have worn patches on the ass. You like that?”

  “Yea, I do. Are you wearing fuzzy socks too?”

  “You know it, and my favorite sports bra with the sweat stains.”

  “Oh, God Turnip, are you trying to make me come right here in my patrol car?”

  “I’m also wearing zit cream and my eyebrows and upper lip need to be waxed.” Her voice, breathy like Marilyn Monroe or something like that.

  “Oh, when you talk about facial hair, it’s the fucking sexiest thing ever.”

  I continue to hear the sounds of her either snuggling further down in her sheets, or she’s sticking her hands down those flannel pants she’s wearing.

  “Talk to me, Cruz. I need for it to be like you’re right here with me. I’m touching myself, but I want it to be like it’s your hand.”

  I have zero problem with her request, but I have to keep myself under control. I can always take care of business when I get off duty.

  “Ok, babe. Think it’s my hand, touching you, softly, stroking your thighs, my fingers inching towards the middle, and I can feel how wet you are already.”

  She whispers, “Oh, yea.”

  This is going to be harder than I thought.

  “Now I know what you like, you like to be teased, so I will tease you. I’m lightly running my thumb across your clit. Do you feel that?”

  Breathlessly she says, “Yes… Yes I do. Keep going.”

  “Now I do it a few more times, in constant circles, just to get you heated up. I’m reaching up and I’m rubbing my hands all over those gorgeous tits of yours. You like?”

  “I like, a lot.”

  “Good, Babe. Now I’m going to put my fingers inside you, then I’m going to lick you there. My hot tongue is tasting you. You are so fucking perfect, and I love hearing you moan as I suck on you. Can you moan for me?”

  “Yes, Cruz. Oh, God… Don’t stop. Keep it up. I’m almost there.”

  Harlow’s voice cracks and her breathing is heavier than before. I know this is how she gets when she’s almost there.

  “You taste so fucking good, but I need to be inside you. Imagine me inside you. I can feel you all around me, your sweetness, your wetness. I’m not going to be nice babe. I’m going to keep pounding into you, licking your neck, biting your ear like you like. I want you to touch yourself while I’m fucking you.”

  I’m so hard right now, it’s uncomfortable, and I still have another five hours to go before I can let the beast out of his cage. This girl makes it impossible for me to think straight. My head is cloudy. I close my eyes and imagine her lying in her bed with her fingers covering every inch of her sweet pussy, wishing it was really me doing all the things I’m saying to her.

  “Keep going Cruz. Tell me more.”

  “You like it hard and fast sometimes so that’s how I’m giving it to you. Hard, fast, harder, faster. In and out, my cock rubbing against your clit. Oh, God Turnip, I can’t… I can’t.”

  I can’t even form a sentence right now, but I have to hear her go over the edge.

  “Faster, Harlow. I’m fucking you faster. Feel me, baby. Feel Me.”

  “I feel you. I feel you! Here I come…” She cries out in ecstasy, and I’m really afraid I’m going to come right in my uniform. I had to quicken this one, and I know I will do anything I have to do in order to go to that career day next week. I have to see her. It’s not an option.

  So, somehow I lucked out. Got a guy at work to switch days off with me, so here I am, almost to Harlow’s school, and I can’t wait to see my Turnip. It’s been way too long. I never thought I’d grow to depend on her, how she makes me feel, how our distance only makes us stronger.

  I have three whole days with my Turnip. My normal day off, today and the next two. Thursday is Thanksgiving and me being the new guy, well, I have to work most holidays, but I don’t have to work New Year’s. I’ll be back in Princeton for a few days for Harlow’s sister’s wedding.

  I pull up to Grayson Elders Middle School. It’s really a beautiful school. Most of the buildings here are. Old and rich, like the men who built them. I go up to the office, and I’m buzzed in. I head to the office, fully clothed in uniform for the kids. My badge on, and my gun and holster locked and not loaded.

  The women in the office see me approach and flock to the front desk.

  “C-can I help you, Officer?” One of the women asks me. Stars in her eyes and I’m assuming wet panties.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m Officer Raphael Cruz of the Sandy Cove Police Department and I’m here to give a lecture to Miss Hannum’s seventh grade class for career day.”

  Pink heats up her cheeks, and she blushes.

  “Oh, yes, um, you are Miss Hannum’s, her um, her…” Her voice trails off.

  “Her boyfriend, yes ma’am.” I wink at her which immediately makes her blush, again.

  “I’ll escort you to Miss Hannum’s room.”

  Another lady flies around the desk and pushes the one I have been speaking to away.

  “No, no Cathy, I have this. I can take him.”

  “Oh no, that won’t be necessary, Rose. I can take him.”

  They give each other the evil eye and go back and forth with one another. Obviously, there’s going to be an older women cat fight in about a minute if I don’t stop it myself.

  “Ladies, if you just point me in the right direction and tell me the room number, I’m sure I can find it.”

  They look up at me and smile their fake smiles, and tell me her room number is two hundred. I thank them and leave the office with the two of them still in a heated disagreement.

  When I reach Harlow’s room, I stop when I hear her voice. So sweet and gentle and just loving. There’s a glass window in the closed door, and I can see her in the front of the room, near the blackboard, and she turns to write something, then back around to address the class. I can see her hair is up in a high ponytail, (perfect for grabbing onto later) and she’s wearing her hot-for-teacher glasses.

  Fuck me!

  I’m not even in the same room with her, and she’s killing me.

  I better get this over with, so I can get her back to her place and not out of her bed for a few days. I hope she gave Willow and her family warning not to call a search party when she is M.I.A. for a few days.

  Harlow Hannum is all mine.

>   I knock on the door of her room, and she turns and comes towards it, opening it slowly. She smiles, sending goosebumps down my bare arms.

  What an affect she has on me just from a single smile.

  “Officer Cruz, how lovely it is for you to join us. Please come in.” She winks at me before turning back to the class.

  “Boys and girls, let me introduce a friend of mine. This is Officer Cruz of the Sandy Cove Police Department. He is here to speak with you all about his career on the police force.”

  I hear some gasps when I enter the room. Twenty faces look at me and half of them are girls. Can you guess which ones gasped?

  “Hello everyone. Thank you for having me today. Miss Hannum was kind enough to ask me to come speak with you about my job. Does anyone have any questions for me?”

  I hear whispers among the kids, and I turn to Harlow, who gives me a grin.

  “Boys and girls, settle down please.”

  I see a girl in the front raise her hand delicately, and I point to her. Her head raised, but her eyes are down, not making eye contact with me, and I see her cheeks are pink.

  “Um, Officer Cruz, I… Um want to know what you think is the best part of your job?”

  I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that, so I have to make my answer a good one.

  “Well, I would have to say the best part of my job is helping people.”

  She doesn’t look satisfied with my answer.

  “Like how do you help people?”

  Ok, so I have a feeling this kid is going to give me a run for my money.

  “Lots of ways.”

  “In what ways?”

  Oh, Jesus. I look to Harlow, who is trying to mask a smile. Just looking at her makes this line of questioning worth it. Her eyes light up my soul.

  “I help people who are lost, who need to find their way home, some people who are injured and need the assistance of an officer. I also take care of the bad guys, and there are some out there.”

  “What do the bad guys do?”

  “They hurt other people, steal from other people, make life difficult for other people. But sometimes when the bad guy is caught, it makes me feel good I have the kind of job that I do. I think it’s the best job around.”