CONDITION – Book One: A Medical Miracle

by Alec Birri

  ‘No, not at all.’

  Dan could see she was still uncomfortable, so forced a further smile. ‘You’re another good liar,’ he tried to joke.

  She composed herself. ‘Anyway, my name’s Tracy and I’ve come to remove your dressings. All right?’

  ‘Be my guest.’

  She began by checking the existing bandages as Doctor Adams had previously, giving Dan the opportunity to study her too. His conclusions couldn’t have been more different, only he didn’t so much as warm to her as ‘heat’.

  It wasn’t that Tracy was particularly attractive – in fact, she was a bit of a frump if Dan was to be honest. No, it was something he’d always had a weakness for in women – her large breasts. Her large breasts – in a uniform. He found himself staring, so pretended to look out of the window.

  Tracy turned away to prepare her instruments on the trolley, and he looked back. Dan confirmed her frumpiness: she was about five feet tall, flat shoes, dark hair tied up in a tight bun under the obligatory nurse’s hat, and carrying a lot of excess weight. He guessed she was in her late twenties, but a lack of style and homely appearance made her look much older.

  She was probably wearing the same-sized uniform she’d always worn, which meant it was now figure-hugging. Ordinarily, this would appeal to Dan, but it unfortunately outlined a series of unattractive rolls of flesh on her back, which progressively became larger as they descended, with the last of them not quite merging with her bottom. Very Rubensesque, he thought.

  Dan was wondering how much weight she would have to lose to even start to look sexy in that uniform, when Tracy turned to one side and continued her preparations. He looked out of the window again to avoid eye contact, before turning back to resume his ruminations. The objects of his fascination were now outlined from the side.

  God, they’re magnificent, he thought and hoped he hadn’t said it out loud.

  Something inside Dan began to stir. He couldn’t take his eyes off them and started to feel guilty; he was a happily married man after all. He tried thinking less sexual thoughts. Anatomically speaking, they were no different to the ugly rolls of flesh on her back. They even seemed to start from there – at the very top, running around and under each armpit before spilling into and over what must have been one of the largest bras ever made. He knew full well that without this very necessary device, her two huge breasts would just hang pendulously in front of him. Dan swallowed. Hard.

  ‘Right then. I think that’s everything. Shall we start with your arm, or would you like a bed bath first?’

  Tracy turned sharply back towards him, causing her chest to swing one way and then the other, before settling back in front in a decreasing series of heaves. Dan’s penis became erect.

  ‘My arm!’ he blustered. ‘My arm, please.’

  Dan blushed and he tried to think of something else. Tracy gave him a look that he often got from his wife, and it made him feel just as uncomfortable – like a naughty boy caught doing something he shouldn’t. Tracy selected a pair of surgical scissors and began cutting the old bandage down the length of his arm.

  Dan looked down at the bed covers and was relieved to see they were thick enough to cover his embarrassment, which was still firmly pointing towards his navel. ‘At least something still works,’ he mumbled under his breath.

  ‘Sorry?’ Tracy asked.

  ‘Nothing, er, did you watch the football?’ He admonished himself for not making less risky small talk. Fortunately for him, she wasn’t a fan.

  ‘Nah, not really my thing. We can talk about it if you want to, though?’

  ‘No, that’s okay,’ Dan replied, somewhat relieved. ‘It’s just that I missed the World Cup, so…’ His voice trailed away as he realised Tracy was about to expose his right hand for the first time.

  She sensed the concern. ‘You can look away if you want – or keep looking at me.’

  Tracy smiled and Dan blushed again. Was she flirting with him? Either way, his ego reinflated. ‘No, that’s okay, I want to see it.’ Dan didn’t, but thought he would be more of a man if he did.

  Tracy removed the remaining bandage, which exposed the plaster cast sleeve and a thin pad covering the back of his hand. It clung to what was underneath and Dan could already see it wasn’t exactly thick skin. His erection became less of an issue. Taking a pair of forceps, Tracy gripped a corner of the pad and began lifting it away. The movement reminded Dan of his skin peeling in the fire and his stomach lurched.

  ‘Do you want me to stop?’

  ‘No,’ Dan responded. ‘Keep going.’ The pad came away – to his horror, the tendons and veins were still exposed. ‘My God, it hasn’t healed at all,’ he blurted out. A lump came to his throat and his eyes watered.

  ‘What are you talking about? It’s doing really well. Still a bit red, I grant you, but well on the mend.’

  ‘But there isn’t any flesh!’

  ‘Of course there is,’ Tracy said. ‘Apart from the colour, it looks exactly the same as your other hand – look.’

  Dan lifted his left arm and brought the two together. He compared the backs of both. Sure enough, other than his right hand being a bit pinker, they were almost identical. ‘It’s like all the muscle and fat’s gone,’ he said.

  ‘Sounds like a good excuse to eat lots of cake, to me.’ Tracy slapped one of her ample hips.

  ‘I can see you’re something of an expert in that department.’

  ‘Oi! Do you want me to finish or what?’

  Dan tried being more of the ‘officer and a gentleman’ he was supposed to be. ‘Sorry, Tracy, what I mean to say is: I think you have a very attractive figure.’

  ‘Yes,’ she purred, taking a deep breath and expanding her chest to its largest possible size, ‘I know you do.’

  There was no doubt about it; under normal circumstances Dan would find her a very welcome distraction – but not right now. He studied his withered left arm and shivered. ‘Tracy, I want to see what the rest of me looks like. Do you think you could help me to sit up?’

  ‘Of course I can.’ She put down the forceps and moved to his opposite side. ‘I’m just going to shift you up the bed a bit first.’

  He went to grip the frame with his left hand but weakness and pain thwarted him. ‘Might be an idea to get some help.’

  ‘Nonsense,’ Tracy said, dismissing the idea. ‘I’m stronger than I look.’

  Dan very much doubted that. Before the crash he’d been a good thirteen stone and, even given six months of muscle wastage in a coma, he must still have been at least eleven. She tucked her right arm under his back, her left under his legs, and pulled him up the bed as if he were a small child.

  ‘My God,’ Dan said in disbelief. ‘You weren’t joking. Remind me not to upset you.’

  Tracy winked and reached for the remote control. The top third of the bed started to rise. Dan readied himself for some back pain but, to his relief, none came.

  ‘High enough?’

  He nodded. Tracy put down the remote and, after adjusting his pillows, pulled back the covers. The striped pyjamas Dan was wearing only seemed to emphasise the impression of a concentration camp victim – he appeared to be little more than a skeleton wrapped in skin. About six stone at most. No wonder she managed to move him so easily.

  Shocked by his appearance, Dan reached forward with his left hand and, despite the pain, pulled back a leg of his pyjamas. Like his arm and hands, the skin on his leg and foot was impossibly thin. He could see straight through to the sinews, blood vessels, veins, and even the bones within. Dan continued to pull the pyjama leg back to reveal a knee twice the width of his calf. He closed his eyes and tried not to be sick.

  ‘Are you okay?’

  Dan didn’t answer. He had expected his flesh to be damaged by the fire, but never realised just how much muscle, f
at, and other tissue would be consumed too. It was a miracle he was even alive. He put his head down and wished he was dead. Why wasn’t he? Tears flowed.

  ‘Now come on, no feeling sorry for yourself.’ Tracy plainly thought the ‘be a man’ approach was best at times like this. ‘All you need is exercise and plenty of pies.’

  She put both hands on her belly and puffed out her cheeks. Dan coughed with laughter at the ridiculous pose.

  ‘Why can’t you just leave me alone to die in peace?’ He was chuckling and crying at the same time.

  ‘Not allowed to, I’m afraid. Got to at least finish removing your dressings first.’

  Dan couldn’t take it all in. Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions. Might all be in a day’s work to Tracy, but this was very much new territory for him. He pulled himself together.

  ‘Tracy, I know you’re only trying to help, but right now I just want to feel sorry for myself. Okay?’

  ‘Suit yourself.’ She seemed only slightly offended. ‘Okay to finish your dressings?’

  Dan forced yet another smile and nodded. Tracy removed the last of the bandages in silence while Dan did a lot of thinking. He decided that as long as there was hope, everything would be okay. He needed to get out of bed for a start. A bit of physio, some serious exercise, weights in the gym, and one hell of a lot of food. He grinned.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ Tracy asked.

  ‘I was just thinking about your cakes and pies.’

  ‘Hey! Nothing wrong with cakes and pies. Never did me any harm.’ She shot an open palm towards his mouth. ‘Don’t even think about making another rude comment.’

  ‘I wasn’t going to,’ he lied. ‘You know I fancy you like mad.’

  ‘No, you don’t. You fancy these.’ She placed her hands under her breasts and juggled each one up and down for a second.

  The covers were still at the foot of the bed, so there was nothing to stop another unwanted erection appearing through the fly of Dan’s pyjamas. Mortified, he rushed to cover it.

  Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Tracy took hold of the bedclothes and pulled them back up to his chest. ‘Told you,’ she purred, and kissed him on the forehead. ‘I think we’ll leave the bed bath till next time. Don’t you?’

  Dan nodded sheepishly. Still grinning, Tracy turned to her trolley and prepared to leave.

  ‘The doctor will be in, but I think you’ll be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?’ She paused before adding: ‘Within reason.’

  Dan shook his head.

  ‘Right then. I’ll be off. Just press the buzzer by your bed if you change your mind.’

  She turned to leave, pushing the trolley in front of her. Dan looked at her retreating form and did indeed change his mind – a pair of stiletto heels and she’d be perfect. Tracy was about to close the door when Dan called her back.

  ‘What now?’ she asked in fake exasperation.

  ‘Sorry, Tracy, but something’s been bugging me about the dressings and this plaster cast.’

  ‘What about them?’

  ‘Well, why are they so late in coming off compared to my other injuries? I mean, I’ve been here for six months.’

  ‘I don’t know anything about any other injuries,’ Tracy admitted. ‘But these came off because they were due to.’ She strode over to the foot of the bed, picked up his chart and studied it. ‘Hmmm. You might have been here for six months, but your treatment only started on the second of August – that means your accident was two weeks ago.’

  Chapter Two

  ‘Good afternoon, Squadron Leader.’

  Dan sensed a degree of mockery in the words. There was – his brother had entered the room. Dan groaned as Brian ignored any pleasantries and launched straight into his opinion on one of the few interests they shared.

  ‘Did you see the jugs on that?’

  Brian must have passed Tracy in the corridor. Dan knew he could be guilty of behaving like an adolescent sometimes, but his brother revelled in it.

  ‘Jeezus!’ he continued. ‘What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on those!’

  Dan moved from irritation to annoyance. ‘It may have escaped your notice, but I have more important things on my mind at the moment.’ Dan knew it wouldn’t stop Brian, but he had to say something.

  ‘Never mind that – what a woman! Forget all this medical nonsense. What you need is a daily dose of those in your face – you’ll be out of here in no time!’

  Anybody else and Dan might have laughed, but he didn’t get on with his brother at the best of times. He looked out of the window. ‘Brian, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I just want to be alone right now.’

  ‘Who’s Brian?’

  Dan turned back to his brother and found himself looking at Doctor Adams.

  ‘Er, he’s my brother.’ Dan looked past the doctor to see if Brian was elsewhere in the room. He wasn’t. ‘I could have sworn you were…’

  ‘Interesting.’ The doctor observed Dan as if he were a culture in a Petri dish. ‘Do I look like your brother?’

  ‘No,’ Dan replied, becoming irritated for a different reason this time. He knew the doctor was only doing his job, but he seemed to enjoy it too much.

  ‘And is your brother in the room now?’

  ‘Of course not.’

  ‘So what can be concluded from this?’

  Dan now felt like a first-year medical student looking into said Petri dish. ‘That he just walked out?’

  Adams waited.

  ‘Hallucinating. I was hallucinating.’

  ‘Very good.’

  ‘Very good? It’s good that I’m hallucinating?’

  ‘No, it’s good that you acknowledge you were hallucinating.’

  That was it. Dan had had enough. ‘Right then. Now it’s my turn – I’ve got some questions for you.’ He raised his right arm. ‘What can be concluded from this?’

  Adams studied the limb then Dan’s head. ‘I conclude the burn to the back of your hand and the cuts and bruises on your head have healed.’

  The doctor seemed to be toying with him. ‘What about the fact that I only sustained those injuries two weeks ago?’

  ‘Then I would say you either remember how you came by them or, given the hallucination just now, it’s more likely you have knowledge of what’s on the chart at the end of your bed.’

  If the doctor was hiding anything, he was playing it cool.

  ‘So let me get this right,’ Dan continued. ‘Six months ago, I arrived here barely alive and in need of a medical miracle, only to suffer some kind of accident in your care. Is that right?’

  Adams thought for a second before replying. ‘That’s correct.’

  Dan became angry. ‘Unbelievable. I nearly die in an aircraft crash, only to suffer yet more injuries at the hands of your incompetent staff! What have you got to say about that? What kind of joke is this place? You couldn’t make it up. It’s the most outrageous thing I’ve ever heard. I’m going to have to take some serious legal advice about this. You’d better get yourself a good lawyer, because you’re going to need…’

  Dan’s chest tightened. He couldn’t breathe. He grasped at his throat. Eyes and mouth wide open, he extended his right hand to the doctor. Adams just looked at him. Brian reappeared and just looked at him. The room went black and Dan passed out.

  Dan opened his eyes. He didn’t know how long he’d been out for, but sensed it wasn’t long.

  ‘Drink this,’ he heard a voice say.

  He reached out to take the glass, but stopped when he realised who was offering it. ‘Get away from me.’

  ‘I’m sorry?’

  ‘I said, get away from me.’

  Adams did as he was told.

  ‘Stay there.’ Dan kept his eyes on the doctor and
reached for the buzzer. He pressed it repeatedly. ‘You tried to kill me.’

  ‘Don’t be so ridiculous.’

  ‘You could see I couldn’t breathe and yet you did nothing.’

  ‘I think you’ll find there is a difference.’

  ‘Don’t give me that crap – I’m on to you.’

  Tracy burst in. ‘Okay, where’s the fire?’

  ‘Tracy, thank God, tell me what’s in that glass.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I need to know what’s in that glass.’

  Her eyes flitted back and forth between the two men. ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Nothing – if there’s just water in that glass.’ Dan tried sounding plausible.

  The doctor offered the tumbler to Tracy. She raised it to the window for a better view and then gave it a sniff. ‘Looks like water to me.’

  ‘Then the doctor won’t mind if you drink it, will he?’ Dan glared at him.

  Adams shrugged. Tracy took a couple of sips before shrugging too. Dan buried his face in his hands and broke down.

  ‘What’s going on? I don’t understand,’ he wailed.

  Tracy rushed to console him like a mother hen.

  Adams remained impassive as he spoke. ‘Amnesia, hallucinations, and now, paranoia. The drug treatment must be restarted immediately.’

  ‘I’m not taking anything,’ Dan protested. ‘Especially from you.’

  ‘Shhh… calm yourself,’ Tracy soothed.

  She already had an arm around his shoulders, so it was easy for Dan to drop his head to her chest – which he did. The comforting non-sexual warmth was surprising and made him realise Brian – or, rather, his hallucination – was right, just not in the way he or it meant. Dan stopped feeling so sorry for himself.

  ‘Dan?’ Adams had adopted a sympathetic tone again.

  What was he scheming now? Dan thought he would make a good Bond villain.

  ‘What if you were to revisit the scene of the accident?’

  Dan took his head off Tracy’s chest. ‘You mean go back to where the aircraft crashed?’