Jet Blue (WeHo Book 5)

by Sherryl Hancock

  “Why do you say that?” Fadiyah asked.

  “’Cause you’re awfully touchy,” Jet said.

  Fadiyah was silent for a few minutes.

  “Jet?” Fadiyah queried then.

  “Hmm?” Jet murmured, her mind faraway at that point.

  “When did you date Skyler?” Fadiyah asked.

  Jet froze, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Who told you that?”

  Fadiyah didn’t answer.

  “Fadi?” Jet queried.

  Fadiyah shrugged her shoulders. “You were with her, though, were you not?”

  Jet looked over at her again, blowing her breath out. “Yeah, back when I was in the Middle East.”

  “Before you were hurt,” Fadiyah clarified.

  “Yes,” Jet answered.

  “Did you love her?” Fadiyah asked.

  “Why are we having this conversation?” Jet asked, her tone sharp.

  “I just want to understand.”

  “Understand what?”

  “You.”

  “There’s nothing to understand, Fadi. I’m me.”

  “But why are you like you are?” Fadiyah asked, knowing that the alcohol was making her brave.

  “Why do you think it has anything to do with Skyler?” Jet asked.

  “Does it?”

  “No,” Jet said firmly.

  Fadiyah was silent for a few minutes, and Jet hoped that the subject was now done.

  “Why do you get women to fall in love with you and then you do not want them to love you?” Fadiyah asked quietly.

  Jet’s head snapped around looking shocked. Reaching over she cranked the stereo in the car and put her foot down on the pedal. Fadiyah knew she had pushed it too far and that she’d made Jet mad, it wasn’t what she’d wanted to do. She wanted to understand why Jet wouldn’t stay in a relationship. It made her sad.

  When Jet pulled off the freeway on their exit, she reached over and turned down the music. Fadiyah was silent. At the house, she walked in, turned off the alarm and went straight to the liquor cabinet and poured herself a double shot. She drank it and then poured another. She walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the refrigerator, tossing the top on the counter. She then walked out of the kitchen and straight up the stairs, closing her bedroom door behind her.

  Fadiyah walked upstairs too, going to her room and changing her clothes. She wanted to cry, and she didn’t understand it. For two hours she tried desperately to go to sleep, hoping that when she woke up, Jet wouldn’t be mad at her anymore. Finally she gave up and got out of bed. She walked over to Jet’s door and just stood there, her hand on the door itself.

  In her room, Jet was lying on her bed; she still wore her clothes from the club, she’d just kicked off her boots. She had long since drunk the beer and the shot she’d taken up with her. She was staring up at the ceiling, her left arm up over her head, one knee bent. Her right hand was on her stomach and her index finger was tapping with agitation.

  Fadiyah took all of this in when she quietly opened the door. She stood watching Jet for a few minutes, she could see that Jet was rolling something over in her mind, and her finger tapping was a manifestation of whatever she was mentally chewing on.

  “Jet?” Fadiyah queried softly.

  Jet blinked, but didn’t look at her.

  “What is it?” Jet asked her tone far from solicitous.

  Fadiyah noticed the tone and flinched. Jet was so cold suddenly and it was terrifying. She moved forward to stand beside the bed, her eyes looking down at Jet.

  “I am sorry I made you angry, that was not my intent,” she said, her voice tearful.

  Jet flinched at her tone, she hated where they were at that moment, but her need to protect herself was overriding everything.

  “I don’t get women to love me,” Jet said miserably. “I don’t even want that. I’m just me… And I’m always honest with them up front. I don’t do love, I don’t do commitment, none of that shit... It’s just not me. But I’m always honest.”

  Fadiyah shook her head sadly. “But that does not keep them from loving you, they cannot help but to love you, Jet.”

  “And what am I supposed to do about that?” Jet asked looking agitated.

  “I do not think you can do anything about it,” Fadiyah said, her eyes staring down into Jet’s. “I did not say it to hurt you. I just want to make sense out of things.”

  When Jet didn’t respond, Fadiyah sat down on the bed next to her, her eyes downcast.

  “Please forgive me, Jet,” she said then, her voice soft.

  Jet closed her eyes, trying to ward off the tone of devastation she heard in Fadiyah’s voice. Blowing her breath out, she shook her head, not at Fadiyah but at herself. She was thinking, You did this to yourself you fucking idiot, this girl depends on you now and you don’t get to be a selfish asshole!

  Slowly Jet dropped her left arm, beckoning to Fadiyah with her fingertips. Fadiyah immediately moved to lie next to Jet, putting her head in the hollow of Jet’s shoulder. She pressed her face against Jet’s shirt, still not sure about Jet’s mood, but happy that she hadn’t ordered her out of her room.

  They were both silent for a long time, Jet’s eyes were still on the ceiling, her hand on Fadiyah’s back moved constantly in a soothing gesture. Fadiyah snuggled closer to Jet, still feeling some of the effects of the alcohol she had consumed. She was pressed along the entire length of Jet’s side, she noticed again how good Jet smelled.

  At one point, Jet reached up with her right hand to rub her forehead, she hissed as she felt the pain in her shoulder again. She was fairly sure she’d split a stitch when she’d blocked the woman’s punch at the bar but she hadn’t bothered to check it.

  Fadiyah levered herself up on her elbow, her body pressing closer to Jet as she looked down at Jet in concern.

  “You are hurt?” Fadiyah asked, her look searching Jet.

  “I’m fine,” Jet said, shaking her head, even as she shuddered slightly.

  “You always say that, Jet,” Fadiyah said, her tone chastising. “Even when you are not fine.”

  Fadiyah shifted her body up slightly to slide her hand under Jet’s shirt to try to reach her shoulder to feel for blood. Jet sucked her breath in sharply, pulling her head back.

  “See, you are hurt!” Fadiyah said, even though she hadn’t been able to reach the injury on Jet’s shoulder.

  “I’m… not… hurt,” Jet gritted out, even as she closed her eyes, her face contorted in a grimace.

  Fadiyah shifted again to look down at Jet. She gasped and put her right hand to Fadiyah’s shoulder.

  “Please, for God’s sake, stop moving,” Jet said, her voice ragged.

  Fadiyah looked at Jet shocked, she saw that Jet’s eyes were squeezed shut.

  “I do not understand,” Fadiyah said, trying to shift away from Jet because she thought that she was somehow hurting her.

  “Jesus, Fadi, please just stop,” Jet said, holding her hands out to either side of the girl.

  “Jet, what is wrong?” Fadiyah asked, her tone sharp.

  Jet blew her breath out slowly, shaking her head, then turning it to look at Fadiyah her eyes heated. Fadiyah’s eyes searched Jet’s, not understanding the look in them, but feeling her breath catch in her throat. Their eyes locked and Fadiyah felt Jet’s breath on her lips, she felt her pulse trip and begin to pound.

  “Jet…” Fadiyah whispered, her voice a plea.

  Jet was so close to her, Fadiyah could hear Jet’s breathing, and she could feel her trembling.

  “Jesus, Fadi…” Jet breathed, every nerve in her body was rioting, but she was holding back. Her head was screaming at her to stop and move away, but her body wasn’t listening, it wanted this in the worst possible way and wanted it desperately.

  “Jet, please…” Fadiyah whispered, her lips brushing Jet’s as she did.

  Jet yanked her head back away from Fadiyah, shaking it feeling her body scream in protest.

  “I can’t do
this… I can’t do this, not with you… I can’t, not with you…” Jet said, starting to move away.

  Fadiyah pushed closer, not wanting to lose this, her hands reached out to grab Jet’s waist, trying to pull her back. Jet’s hand grabbed her hand, holding away from her body.

  “God, Fadi, don’t… please…”

  “Jet I want you,” Fadiyah said, moving closer to her again.

  “No, you can’t, no,” Jet said, still shaking her head.

  “But I do,” Fadiyah said, her eyes searching Jet’s face. “I very much do.”

  “Fadiyah, I can’t do this, I can’t do this to you,” Jet said, her voice almost desperate.

  “Why?” Fadiyah asked shattered by what she perceived as Jet’s rejection.

  “Because I can’t hurt you,” Jet said her voice a rasping whisper. “Not you, please don’t make me…”

  “You would never hurt me Jet,” Fadiyah said.

  “Oh, but I would, in this case, I would, Fadi, please…” she said, shaking her head.

  “But…” Fadiyah said, her eyes shining with tears now. “I love you, Jet…” she said then.

  Jet closed her eyes, wincing in almost physical pain as the implications slammed into her.

  “God, Fadi… No…” she said, her tone agonized, her eyes still closed as she shook her head.

  “I love you,” Fadiyah said again, her voice stronger.

  “No,” Jet said, opening her eyes and looking at Fadiyah, her tone equally strong.

  “But I do,” Fadiyah said.

  “Well, stop,” Jet said, her tone icy. “Because it’ll only lead to heartbreak for you.”

  “You won’t hurt me,” Fadiyah said, her tone sure.

  “I will hurt you,” Jet said, her face like stone. “I’ll shatter your fucking heart.”

  With that she got out of bed and walked out of the room. Fadiyah lay on the bed, staring at the door Jet had just gone through, and then the tears started. Moving to get up, Fadiyah went back into her room, closing the door quietly and then lay down on her bed crying.

  Jet walked by Fadiyah’s room a half an hour later and heard her crying. It took everything Jet had to walk into her room and close the door. She lifted the bottle of Casa Noble tequila she had in her hand and took a long drink. Setting the bottle down she changed into shorts and a tank top and proceeded to get drunk.

  Ashley walked into the house the next day. It was eerily quiet. It was just past noon on a Saturday, Jet was usually long up and working in the backyard, her music blasting. Walking quietly upstairs, Ashley saw that both Jet and Fadiyah’s doors were closed. Something was definitely wrong. Blowing her breath out, she went to her room and unpacked her overnight case and debated about what she wanted to do. Part of her thought maybe she should just leave and go out for the day and let whatever was going on either blow up or blow over. She knew she couldn’t do that. She’d involved herself in Jet and Fadiyah’s relationship by talking to Fadiyah the night before she’d left. She had no idea if whatever was going on had to do with that, but she did know that she couldn’t ignore the fact that something was going on.

  She walked up to Fadiyah’s door, and knocked softly. When Fadiyah didn’t answer, she cautiously opened the door. She saw Fadiyah lying on her bed, in tears.

  “Oh God…” Ashley said, walking in and sitting down on the bed next to Fadiyah. “What happened?”

  Fadiyah burst into a fresh set of tears and sat up hugging Ashley.

  “She does not want me, I am such a fool…” Fadiyah said through her tears.

  Ashley held her for a while, letting her cry. Finally she leaned back, looking down at Fadiyah.

  “Tell me exactly what happened,” Ashley said.

  Fadiyah recounted the evening, including the dance, which shocked Ashley immensely, but she let Fadiyah continue without interruption. When she got to the end Ashley could see exactly why the girl was crying, she felt like crying herself for a completely different reason.

  “Okay,” Ashley said. “I’m going to go see if I can talk to Jet and see what’s going on with her. Are you okay for now?”

  Fadiyah nodded miserably.

  Ashley got up and as she walked out of Fadiyah’s room, steeled herself for what she was going to have to deal with in Jet’s room. Knocking lightly on the door, there was predictably no answer. Ashley figured Jet thought it was Fadiyah. Opening the door slowly, she saw that Jet was sitting on the side edge of her bed. Her feet spread wide in front of her, one hand braced on her knee, a bottle of beer in her hand, her head was bowed.

  “Okay, what’s going on?” Ashley asked, her tone sharp because she was alarmed at Jet’s state.

  Jet closed her eyes for a moment, then shook her head, staring down at a point on the floor.

  “Fadiyah is in her room crying her eyes out, and you’re in here getting drunk, Jet,” Ashley said, walking over to stand next to where Jet sat. “Don’t shake your fucking head at me.”

  Jet’s jaw twitched as she clenched her teeth, her eyes narrowing.

  “Why did you tell her about Skyler?” Jet asked, her voice low.

  “What?” Ashley asked, surprised by the question.

  “Why did you tell her about Skyler?” Jet asked again.

  Ashley made an impatient sound. “Because she told me she was in love with you and I was trying to explain that you didn’t do relationships. I said that the last one I knew about was Skyler,”

  Jet shook her head, like she couldn’t fathom what Ashley was talking about.

  “Did you hear me, Jet?” Ashley asked. “She loves you.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Jet said her tone even.

  “It does,” Ashley said.

  Jet gave a short soulless laugh. “It really doesn’t, Ash.”

  “Why doesn’t it matter?” Ashley asked.

  Jet shook her head, lifting the bottle of beer to her lips draining it and setting it next to the empty bottle of tequila. Ashley stepped in front of Jet, her eyes looking down at her.

  “Why doesn’t it matter?” she asked again.

  “Because it doesn’t fucking matter Ash, okay!” Jet yelled, her voice strained with emotion. “Because I’m not what she needs.”

  “And what do you think she needs?” Ashley asked.

  Jet shook her head again, her look despondent. “She needs stability, she needs attention, she fucking needs to be loved…” Jet said, her voice trailing off.

  Ashley nodded. “Yeah, and you love her, so…”

  Jet looked at Ashley her eyes reflecting shock, then she started to shake her head.

  “You know, you can fucking tell yourself whatever you want to, Jet,” Ashley said, her anger finally flowing out. “But you didn’t go back to Iraq to get them, you went back there to get her, because you love her.”

  Ashley’s words seemed to strike Jet physically because she reared back looking up at Ashley, her eyes reflecting actual fear suddenly.

  “You love her, Jet…” Ashley told her.

  Jet shook her head, her eyes flashing in a combination of anger and panic. “I can’t, I can’t be…”

  “You are,” Ashley said, her look sad.

  “I’m no good for her,” Jet said

  “You saved her life, Jet,” Ashley said.

  “She saved mine,” Jet said. “This won’t work, this… I can’t do this…” she said again, her look almost sick now. “I’m no good for her, I’m no good for anyone…”

  “Because of Skyler?” Ashley asked.

  Jet’s head snapped back then, as if Ashley had just struck her.

  “What happened with Skyler wasn’t your fault, Jet,” Ashley said. “It wasn’t you…”

  Jet’s armor started to crack, even as she tried to hold it together. Ashley saw it and moved in for the kill.

  “It wasn’t you, Jet. She didn’t leave because of you. She left because she was hurt. She left because she was traumatized… She didn’t leave you… It wasn’t you…” By this point Ashley was
in tears because the look on Jet’s face was breaking her heart.

  She moved forward taking Jet into her arms. Jet wrapped her arms around her, her head against Ashley’s stomach. Ashley could feel her shaking and hugged her more tightly. Jet just let go then and finally let out all the hurt that had been there for so long, so close under the surface. At one point, Ashley moved to sit on the bed, pulling Jet with her. Eventually Jet fell into an exhausted sleep, lying on her stomach, her arms around Ashley’s waist. Ashley sat stroking Jet’s hair, feeling drained herself. She had no idea if she’d just made things better or if she’d made them worse.

  She found out later that afternoon. She’d fallen asleep with Jet lying against her but woke alone. Jet was gone, she’d left the house. Ashley found out that she hadn’t said a word to Fadiyah. By that evening Ashley was getting worried. Fortunately she got a text from Skyler saying that Jet was at her and Devin’s house.

  Jet had showed up at their house looking like hell. Devin had immediately put her in a bedroom and told her to get some sleep, exchanging a look of concern with Skyler. That had been when Skyler had sent Ashley a text. After sleeping fitfully for the afternoon and into the night, Jet had finally given up and wandered out to the backyard in the middle of the night. Skyler was alerted by Benny. Skyler had walked out to see Jet smoking, sitting on the retaining wall that looked out over the ocean.

  “Hey,” Skyler said, walking up.

  Jet looked over at her, but her eyes didn’t seem to see her, then she looked back out over the ocean.

  “Ever miss it?” Jet asked.

  “Miss what?” Skyler asked.

  “People shooting at you,” Jet asked.

  “I can say a definite no to that one,” Skyler said, her look quizzical. “What’s goin’ on Jet?”

  Jet looked over at her again, her look vacant as she shook her head.

  Skyler stayed in the backyard with her for two hours. Jet didn’t say anything else, and it worried Skyler no end.

  When she crawled back into bed with Devin, Devin looked at her. “What’s going on?”

  “I have no idea…” Skyler said, shaking her head.

  The next day Jet spent the entire day on the beach alone. Skyler had tried to join her, but Jet had simply said she needed space. Skyler knew better than to push Jet, the girl could push back harder than anyone she’d ever met, so she backed off. By the end of the day on Sunday, the entire group knew that something was going on with Jet, and Skyler was getting endless texts about it.