You're the Password to My Life

by Sudeep Nagarkar

  Even though Virat was gone forever, his memory would always livewith us, comforting us in our darkest nights. Virat would be missed every minute of every day.

  16th February, 2010

  Rohan’s residence

  ‘Rohan, I have to leave. I’ve been in Pune for a really long time, and I think it’s time for me to return to Mumbai now,’ I said while we had our breakfast together.

  It had been a week sinceVirat’s death. I had extended my stay and had to return to Mumbai even if I didn’t want to. Rohan remained silent, lost in his thoughts. Virat’s loss had really affected him badly. I told him he had to overcome his grief for Virat’s sake saying he wouldn’t have liked to see him in such a condition. I made him understand that after Virat’s death, he was responsible for two other lives—Kavya, who had lost her only best friend and Mahek, who had lost the love of her life.

  ‘You have to take care of both the girls. It’s not an easy for them to overcome the loss and you as Rohan’s friend have to try to keep them as happy as possible. Especially Kavya, because Virat was her backbone. Also, you need to make Mahek strong enough to cope up with life. Her support will be vital for Kavya’s recovery too,’ I explained. Moving on was the only way he could go.

  ‘I know that I am the one who has to take care of everyone but it’s not going to be easy for me,’ Rohan stated.

  ‘I agree, but if you fall weak, what will happen to the others? They will be completely shattered. You have to be strong and spread happiness all around. Regardless of what problems Virat had in his life, he always helped others and was there for you too. It’s your time to fill his void and be there for Mahek and Kavya. I am sure Riddhima feels the same way as I do about this.’

  Rohan nodded and hugged me before I could leave.

  ‘By the way, I didn’t get a chance to tell you that day, but I really like my bhabi. Riddhima is the perfect girl to handle an ass like you. Never leave her or hurt her. Or else I will kill you,’ I said to lighten the mood.

  ‘Thanks Aditya, not just for all your support but also for staying here with us, even when you had to go to college in Mumbai,’ Rohan said in a deep voice.

  I left. I lived. I learned. Virat was so full of positivity that some of it had rubbed off on me too. He taught me that life cannot be lived according to your plans, and you have to be prepared for the unexpected. Everything happens for a reason; however hard it may be. It’s just sometimes hard to find those reasons. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your dreams just to be with the one you love. Living your life with them is much better than living your dream alone. Virat had left, forever, but he had left behind memories that would always bring a smile on everyone’s face. When I came to Pune, I never thought that I would be acquainted with the lives of so many people who would teach me a new way of living. Mahek had taught me what love was, Kavya had introduced me to the real meaning of friendship, Riddhima had made me realize that waiting for a loved one was worth it, and Virat had shed light upon what life was and had taken me closer to my ownself. Indeed, people like him don’t come often into our lives. Even after reaching Mumbai, I kept thinking about them and how the experience had enriched me and made me a better person.

  Even after a fortnight, everytime the phone rang, Mahek would pick up hoping it was Virat. It was impossible for them to believe that they would never see him again. Many a times, Mahek would take her anger out on Rohan, but Rohan was playing the role of the perfect elder brother by keeping his calm and by trying to make her smile. The sudden demise of Virat had made Rohan and Mahek connect with each other at an emotional level.

  With the passage of time, they slowly started accepting what had happened, though it was not a happy acceptance. Kavya too was trying to regain her energy and hope by accepting the bitter truth; though at times she would feel listless and lifeless, discouraged, and sometimes, depressed. It was the winter of their grief – a long, slow, dormant period. But Mahek knew she had to be tough because Kavya needed her as a friend. Everyone was supporting each other and Virat had played the role of a catalyst by bringing them together.

  The whole process of recovering from the grief of having lost a loved one had changed them as individuals. They were not the same people they had been before. They had grown from that experience and it was evident by their changed outlook towards relationships and life in general.

  We always ignore people who are close to us—friends, parents, girlfriends, boyfriends—and forget to appreciate their presence in our lives. What if you lose them suddenly, forever? Even the thought of it makes us shiver. Rohan, Mahek, and Kavya, along with Riddhima, had forged a new relationship with each other; of togetherness and friendship. By slowly accepting their grief, they had taken the path towards healing. Losing Virat so unexpectedly was hard for all of us; but he had left behind an indelible footprint in our hearts and memories to keep us going.

  Everything Happens For a Reason

  28th February, 2010

  It was Sunday morning and Rohan had met Mehak for a morning walk at a nearby park. He wanted to spend some time with her and see how she was doing. The early sunrise brought with it a new ray of hope in their lives and gave them the strength they needed to overcome their past and move on. They had become good friends since that incident and were now emotionally connected to each other.

  ‘Everytime I would see my friends having fun with their brothers, I would get upset as I am a single child and don’t even have a close cousin whom I can talk to. Their brothers would pick them up after college and take them out for coffee. I always wanted a brother whom I could talk to, take guidance from, and share my feelings with. Around the time of my marriage, he would cry for me and give me strength to be a part of a new family. Thank you, Bhaiya. I am so proud to have you in my life,’ Mahek said walking along with Rohan on the jogging track.

  After the walk, they went and sat on a nearby bench. He wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled her cheeks, trying to make her smile.

  ‘I don’t know what to say. I have a sister with whom I can share my life now but at the cost of losing my friend. And I don’t know whether to thank that friend for breaking the barriers between us unknowingly or apologize to him that I couldn’t give your hand to him. It was not easy for me but Aditya’s words always made me strong and though I know that no one can take Virat’s place, I am trying to make you smile and get over the past.’

  ‘Bhaiya, please don’t be sorry. I am sure if Virat was alive today he would have felt proud of you. I wish I could have shared everything with you from the beginning, looking at the way you have handled Kavya and me these past few days, helping us get back to normal.’

  ‘I just want you all to smile again for Virat. He always wanted everyone to be together and we should not disappoint him.’

  ‘I know I can never take Virat’s place but after him, I am the only one to look after Kavya. So even if I feel like breaking down, I can’t. One question that keeps echoing in my head is that, “Is the value of our lives so little?” If I wouldn’t have told him to bring all those gifts, he wouldn’t have gone to that area.’

  She leaned on Rohan’s shoulder and he patted her head gently. Rohan had entered her life at a time when she desperately needed a friend. She was lucky to have found a friend and brother in Rohan. After taking a couple of rounds in the park, they lay down on the grass, talking about Riddhima and how Rohan had proposed to her. She too shared all the crazy moments she had spent with Virat and Kavya and how they would annoy people around them with their acts. Mahek was supposed to meet Kavya directly at the park, and Rohan decided to join them since Riddhima was busy with her Sunday classes and he had nothing better to do.

  Rohan and Mahek were connected emotionally in Virat’s absence and even he might be looking down from the skies, content with the change his absence had brought in their lives.

  De-Katta, Kothrud

  ‘How strange it is that we all are sitting here, but the person who introduced us is missing,’ Kavy
a said opening a packet of chips.

  ‘Yes, but we will always be with you and you can treat me as your elder brother or as your friend, whatever you feel like. I promise, you will never feel alone. Virat was my friend too, and so, according to the law, we are close friends too,’ Rohan smiled.

  Good relationships don’t just happen overnight. They take time and patience to nurture. All three of them had gone through hard times and valued the presence of each other in their lives. They met whenever they found the time to, and though they didn’t interact much, whenever they did, they had a great time with each other. Maybe, the best kind of friends are who you can sit with on a porch and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had. They shared a somewhat similar relationship. Mahek always missed Virat and remembered their college days together. She knew that Virat had more affection towards Kavya than her as their friendship was immortal. But she didn’t mind it one bit since Kavya was an equally good friend to her. They were having their Sunday brunch together and catching up on old times.

  ‘I still have the last message he sent me almost few minutes before…’ Mehak paused.

  She was going through her inbox and read the message aloud.

  If I am given a chance to love again, I would still choose you as you’re the password to my life. Happy Valentine’s Day. The celebrations will begin in some time.

  ‘But before the celebration could actually begin, he left,’ Kavya said in a deep voice and continued, ‘If I would not have told him to bring sandwiches for me, he would have left the place a few minutes before the blast and would have been sitting with us today.’

  ‘Guys, do not take the blame on you. We cannot change things. We need to move on because even Virat won’t be happy to see us cry like this,’ Rohan said trying to change the topic.

  Rohan was missing him too. There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want them to appear in front of you and hug them for real. He hid his pain with a smile on his face. To avoid making eye contact, he kept browsing his phone and opened his inbox to see Virat’s message.

  Also, I need to tell you one extremely important thing related to your life. Please don’t ignore it or take it lightly. I feel that you should know this since it’s never easy to face the truth. I will tell you once we meet on 13th evening.

  Suddenly, he remembered that Virat had wanted to tell him something crucial about his life that day. Rohan was curious and asked Mehak if Virat had mentioned anything about it to her. She knew exactly what Rohan was talking about, becauseVirat had discussed it with her before revealing the truth to Rohan. She had kept it a secret from him since the past few months. But, as the equation had changed between them, she decided to tell him the truth. The truth that would give him the shock of his life.

  9th February, 2010

  Virat’s residence

  ‘There is one more thing that I want to tell you. I have never shared this with anyone before, but I feel like telling you,’ Mahek said.

  Virat was barely trying to digest the shock of accepting the fact that Mahek was Rohan’s sister when Mahek was unfolding another secret.

  ‘Now what? Have you decided to give me an attack tonight? I don’t want to die so soon,’ Virat winked.

  However, when he heard the secret, he couldn’t believe his ears.

  ‘Rohan’s previous girlfriend Zoya had lied to him that she couldn’t take their relationship ahead because her family would be against it,’ Mahek disclosed.

  ‘I remember Rohan telling me the same thing when we discussed it.’

  ‘Actually, the truth is that…’

  ‘What is it? Tell me,’ Virat shouted.

  ‘Zoya had been tested positive for HIVwhich is why she was leaving the city forever with her family. She wanted Rohan to live his life happily without any complications and had hence kept the truth hidden from him. She wanted him to live with someone who truly loved him so that she could die content knowing that someone is taking care of him. Her family was taking her to Shimla for treatment but she knew the outcome. We were in touch occasionally and she had told me about this before she left. I had promised her that I will not to tell Rohan, ever, about this.’

  Virat couldn’t even imagine something so terrible. He didn’t even move from his seat and had tears in his eyes. This was not something that should be kept hidden from Rohan, he thought. He somehow convinced Mehak that they should tell Rohan about their relationship and about Zoya too, on the 13th evening. Though Mahek didn’t want to and was extremely frightened, Virat had made up his mind and even Kavya had given him the green signal.

  28th February, 2010

  De-Katta, Kothrud

  ‘Bhaiya, Virat wanted to tell you this that evening but…’ Mahek cried.

  Rohan was stunned by what she had just told her. Though she was his past now and he had moved on with his life, he felt the situation could have been handled in a better fashion had she mentioned it once to him. We are so quick in judging another person that we hardly think there could be another reason for the decisions they take. Rohan never thought that this could be the reason why Zoya would separate from him. He shut his eyes and prayed for forgiveness for having taken her wrongly.

  I am already tense so please don’t make me weaker. You are my strength and you should always smile. I even talked to your sister about it and she too agrees with me. Rohan, please understand that we just can’t be together. Remember, someone somewhere is happy knowing that you are happy. So always smile and work hard achieve your dreams.

  He recollected everything she had told him. But he was still angry at Zoya for not having told him the truth. How could she face such a trauma all alone? She always wanted him to grow in life and love someone who loved him more than her.

  Her words echoed in his ears:

  Listen, look for a girlfriend who loves you, and don’t go for just looks. She should be able to take care of you in hard times and understand your needs. Got it? Promise me that you will inform me when you will find her.

  Mehak got up from her seat and sat beside Rohan holding his hand, comforting him.

  ‘Virat had even planned to book your tickets to Shimla so that you could meet her once.’

  ‘That means you know where she is in Shimla?’ Rohan stammered.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Rohan you should meet Zoya once,’ Kavya added.

  ‘Even you knew about it?’

  ‘Yes. Virat had told me that he was going to tell you all about it that evening. I was proud that he had taken the right decision and supported him. You should be happy that you had a friend like him,’ Kavya smiled.

  Rohan stared at her, and then turned towards Mahek. She smiled and nodded her head in support. It was Virat’s wish too, which sadly turned out to be one of his last wishes. Both Kavya and Mahek tried to cheer him up and asked him to go to meet Zoya once. Rohan was confused whether Riddhima would agree to it or not. Kavya made him understand that Riddhima loved him with a true heart and would gladly let him go.

  Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we can figure out the reason in time and sometimes not. He told everything to Riddhima that evening after her classes.

  ‘I trust you’ she said without hesitation. It was then that he realized that ‘I trust you’ made him feel better than ‘I love you’. True love is not about those phone calls or kiss emoticons that are sent through messages, but it is the silent smiles and knowing your other half better than yourself. Riddhima gave Rohan a tight warm hug for keeping faith in her and telling her about Zoya like he used to before their relationship.

  One should never blame their love without knowing the whole reality behind their decision. Zoya had shown a different side of true love by opting to move out of Rohan’s life and now it was his turn to fulfil the promise that Zoya had asked him to keep; to inform her when he finds someone who could take care of him in hard times and understand his needs. Rohan and Riddhima decided to go to Shimla to meet Zoya one la
st time.

  2nd March, 2010

  Pune Airport

  ‘Just think what would’ve happened had Virat never come into our lives and enriched it the way he did?’ Rohan asked Riddhimaas they sat in the waiting lounge.

  ‘Maybe, life isn’t about finding your other half. Maybe, it’s about finding yourself. I am happy that he brought so many positive changes in you. Mehak lost the love of her life and I know it feels terrible, but today she is smiling because she found a wonderful a brother in you who is more than a friend to her. Kavya, too got a friend in you. I love you so much for being a real man,’ Riddhima smiled.

  It’s not easy to handle one woman at a time and Rohan was handling three of them! He was playing the role of a friend, a brother and a lover, flawlessly. He was madly in love with Riddhima but had never made it his weakness. They waited at the airport to board their flight to Shimla and thought of how different life would’ve been had Virat not been a part of it. There is a reason why we meet every person in our lives. Some test you, some use you, some teach you a lesson, while some bring out the best or worst in you. Virat had transformed Rohan as a person completely, and had unlocked the password to his life. Wherever he is now, he’d be smiling looking down at them. Even Mehak and Kavya had understood that the past can never come back, even if we cling on to it too tightly. So it’s best to let go. Moving on is never easy but sometimes it’s necessary!

  Epilogue

  Almost half a decade has passed since Virat’s death and Mehak has now started her own salsa training classes after completing her graduation. She is soon going to start her own event management company. At times she misses Virat’s presence while teaching dance to her students but his absence doesn’t let her down but encourages her to do well in life.