New Jersey Yankee In King Arthur's Court

by P McAuley, Robert

  There was a rustling behind the new group as the Keansburg gang rose and walked past them and joined Arty and the others.

  “Ron,” asked Arty. “Do you think this is on the up and up?”

  A slightly perplexed Ron looked at Arty and then said, “Methinks thou doth want ta know be these new fellows friends or foe. Yes?”

  “Yes, friend or foe?”

  “Ahh, sire, indeed they be friends fer Francis be my cousin an’ never hath such a fine boy been born as he.”

  “Well, why didn’t yee say so?”

  An hour later Arty, Francis, Ron and the Keansburg boys sat around a fire sipping some cider that Francis had brought along.

  “So Francis,” said Arty, “How did yee hear of us and what do they say?”

  “Ahh, sire,” he answered, “Sir Grogan told all of his downfall. Said he, that yee breathe fire an’ brimstone an’ that be what made ya so strong. He doth say that ya enticed his pages by gazing inta their eyes and speakin’ enchantments.” He looked at Arty and chewed on his bottom lip as he added, “Ya don’t be breathin’ smoke an’ fire as I kin see.”

  “Not all the time,” answered a smiling Arty.

  Later that evening Bruno sat next to Arty as they ate smoked pork and sipped cider. “Arty, we now have one hundred and ninety-five guys and fifty-two girls not counting us.”

  “Any more horses?”

  “Yep, all together we have twenty-six horses and eleven wagons plus fifteen more tents.”

  “Wow! What’s next?”

  “Well, I’ll tell you something funny, Arty. I got me a new rep!”

  “Yeah? What’s that?”

  “They call me the Black Knight!”

  “Get outta here!” said a laughing Arty as he slapped Bruno on his back.

  “Yep,” Bruno said laughing. “Funny, I have to come all the way to England to get some respect for being Afro-American.”

  “Yeah, it’s not like any of us got any respect at Hollin’s House.” He slapped his friend on his back again as he added, “Good for you, Bruno, aka: The Black Knight.” He looked and saw Jennie walking up the hill and he turned to Bruno and said, “Hey Bruno, can ya scoot for awhile? I need to talk to Jennie about something.”

  “Heh, heh,” laughed Bruno as he got up, “I bet ya do. Good luck, dude.”

  “Aww, get outta here.”

  She smiled as she sat next to Arty. “Hi Arty. Have you met all the new kids yet?”

  “Not all, but in the morning I will. They seem nice, don’t they?”

  “Yes. And there are more girls my age here too.”

  “Hey, Jennie, wait here I got something for you. Sit tight.” He got up and ran to the tent and returned with his hand inside his leather jacket. He sat back down and took out a bouquet of wild flowers. “Here! I picked them myself just for you.”

  “Well, you better go jump in the lake.”

  His face dropped as he said, “Wha? Don’t you like them? I mean you always got flowers in your hair and I thought you might . . .”

  “Like them? I do, but some of these are Poison Ivy. So, like I said, you better go jump in the lake.”

  He stood and shook his head. “Shoot! I screw up everything! What the freak do I know about Poison Ivory?”

  “Ivy, “she said correcting him, with a smile, “Poison Ivy, not Ivory.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Tch! Come here,” she said standing before him, “Believe me, Arthur, the meaning is not lost on me.” She kissed him and said to his surprised face, “That was Elderberry. Now, go wash off and I’ll massage your back again.”

  He ran to the tent, came out with his towel and ran to the lake.

  The sun was just about to disappear behind the hill as Thomas took his seat on the wagon. Merlin sat beside him and Harold and James hopped in the back. They got to the church as a crowd of people streamed up the hill towards them.

  “Gadzooks!” said an excited Harold as he set his small, beer keg desk up at the entrance. “It be the whole o’ London comin’ our way!”

  “Get them seated, friend Harold,” said Merlin as he headed towards the tapestry. “James, wouldst thou help me an’ become, ‘Helper of the Wizard?’”

  The boy’s eyes went wide with excitement as he accepted his role of ‘Helper of the Wizard Merlin’ and quickly followed him.

  Thirty minutes later Merlin peeked through the thick tapestry and saw a very full house with standing room only. He also noticed that most of the crowd from last night, including Katherin and her parents, were in the front row. He nodded to James. “James, it be time fer ya ta do yer duty.”

  “Yes, my Wizard,” he said as he quickly walked out and went around dousing all the candles and torches in preparation for the show. When he returned to the tapestry Merlin was behind, he placed three lighted candles in front of the spot Merlin would appear at and stepped back, mentally holding his ears as he closed his eyes tight.

  Seeing that all the lights were doused and the three candles in front of his appearance section were ready, Merlin said to himself, “Well, Merlin, here we go again. Hope this works as good as it did last night.” He slipped two fingers quickly through the opening in the tapestry and tossed some of his escape powder on the flame. It exploded in a cloud of white smoke and he quickly stepped from behind the dark curtain. The gasp from the crowd told him that to all he had just suddenly appeared before them. As planned his dark clothing against the dark tapestry gave the appearance of a head and two hands floating before them. Once again he used the quietness of the crowd to dictate his starting time and he stood still, eyes closed as he let the flickering light of the candles at his feet play with the shadows on his face. Finally, the beginnings of restlessness told him to begin the show and he snapped his eyes open as he said in a booming voice, “People o’ London, I, Merlin the Wizard welcome yee. Let it be known to yee all that, at times, my very spirit shall pass amongst yee and yee may feel it as it seeks the devil himself in our midst.”

  The sudden moving of the audience as they pulled their cloaks tighter about them told Merlin he had them.

  “I pray that yee stay in thine seats as I search fer the dark-one meself.” Merlin had instructed James that when those words were used, that was his cue to pull gently on the fishing cord that Meryl had draped over the top of the tapestry. The cord was attached to the candle on the floor in front of him. Hearing those words, James did as he was instructed and the candle seemed to suddenly lift up and float as Merlin waved his hands over it. A woman screamed momentarily and a baby cried as Merlin said, “Spirits! Place yon candle upon the floor and depart this place.” This was the cue for James to gently relax the string and the candle settled back on the floor.

  Merlin walked slowly down the three stairs to the aisle between the two rows of benches and stood there before reaching over to a young girl and placing a flower in her hand seemingly from out of thin air. Her friend sitting next to her almost fainted.

  “I be Merlin the Wizard,” he said as he performed magic amongst them. “I have traveled all over the world and I know many things. But this I tell you. It be said far and wide that London be the finest town anywhere.” He could feel the sudden pride of the crowd as he used the trick entertainers the world over used, stating that the town or city they were in was the best in the world. It works way back here, too. He thought as he continued pulling flowers and eggs from out of people’s ears, hats and hair while chanting, “Abbra-Ka-Dabbra.”

  Knowing that by now James was set in one of the spots he had pointed out earlier, Merlin stopped and suddenly threw his arms in the air releasing a gray dove from his large sleeve. The crowd gasped as the bird’s flapping wings caught air and flew up and away into the night.

  “My friends! Do not be afraid as my spirits have just left my body and at this very moment are flying amongst yee.” A sudden yelling and more than a few people jumping out of their seats told him that James had tossed the small, dried breadcrumbs in the right-hand section
of the gathering.

  “Fear not, friends, as they may touch upon thee and fly away immediately.” Merlin slowly made his way over to the section that had just received the breadcrumb spirits. The magician knew that the entire audience watched his every move, leaving James free to travel over to the left-hand side unnoticed. He plucked a few more flowers and baby chicks from the ears, hair and hats of various people in the audience always combining the trick with magical jargon such as ‘Fee-Fi-Foo-Fom’ and the likes.

  When he was sure that James had been given enough time to get in place he stopped and threw his arms up and released the other gray dove into the air as he boomed, “My friends. Once again my spirits take leave of me ta search the night and fight evil.” This time it was a large group of the audience on the left-hand side that jumped and screamed as the stale breadcrumbs bounced off of them and their neighbors. Now Merlin knew he had them all believing in him. He walked over to a thin woman sitting with her husband and pulled a rabbit from his conical hat. “Here, m’am,” he boomed, “For thine next meal.” The crowd went crazy and stood as they applauded him.

  Merlin knew it was time to leave them wanting more, but first, he walked back to his spot on the altar, turned and said, “Friends. In ten days time there will appear a stone on this very spot. In that stone shall be a sword. It tis there for all ta try ta remove it from the stone. He who removes the sword from the stone shall be called King of England.”

  “Wizard Merlin,” shouted someone from the audience, “Who is this Arthur they say yee speak of?”

  Merlin gently stepped on one of the candles and snuffed it out. He did the same to the second one leaving just one lit candle on the floor in front of him, as he got ready for his disappearing act.

  “In my dreams I saw a young man called Arthur. He entered this very church and pulled the sword from the stone and the people of London proclaimed him, King Arthur.”

  Another from the crowd called out, “Wizard Merlin! May all try ta remove this sword?”

  “Yes. I beg yee all ta spread the story ta all parts of London that they may seek ta become king by removing the sword.”

  As another man called out a question, Merlin dropped a pinch of disappearing powder onto the lit candle and, with the flash of white smoke stepped behind the tapestry to the gasps of the amazed crowd.

  Once behind the tapestry and in the sanctuary it provided, he sat on a bench and rested. As the crowd applauded and whistled, James slid behind the same tapestry and bowed before Merlin.

  “Great be thine powers, Wizard Merlin. And I thank yee fer usin’ me fer ya show. So much wouldst I give, good wizard, ta learn thine secrets.”

  Merlin sat quiet as he looked at James. Lord, he thought, if James thinks I have great powers and he knows that I used him to help trick the audience, then what do the regulars out there think of me? “James,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees as he sat forward. “Pray tell me, what do the people in the audience think I am?”

  “Sire! They think yee ta be a great wizard! An’ right they be, fer ya be a great wizard.”

  “And,” Merlin asked, “pray tell, what dost thou think I am?”

  “A great wizard, sire. One who knows of what’s ta come!”

  “Even though I asked yee ta help me by tossin’ breadcrumbs at them?”

  “Master, yee must have yer reasons why ya picked a stupid lad such as meself ta help ya.”

  Merlin removed his hat and shook his head as he said, “James, never think of thineself as stupid. For thou be a very smart boy. Did ya not make the audience jump without them knowing twas thou?”

  The boy smiled as he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Aye, great wizard. That I did.”

  The shuffling outside had almost stopped when Thomas and Harold entered. They both removed their hats and bowed deeply at the waist as Harold said, “Great Wizard Merlin. Never hath I or friend Thomas attended so fine a magician’s show. Tis fer sure that yee be much more than a magic man, an’ the people all say so.”

  “Tonight, Wizard Merlin,” said Thomas, “we dine on roast duckling fer ya must be feasted greatly fer thine show.”

  “Roast duck?” said Merlin as he stood. “Well friends, I have not had duck in years so it truly shall be a feast.”

  Later that evening, after they finished the duck and were enjoying a mug of beer, Thomas passed a purse to Merlin and watched as the wizard opened it and saw the coins it held.

  “Zounds!” said Merlin, surprising at himself at having picked up the local language so fast, “This be mine, friend Harold?”

  “Aye. An’ me an’ friend Thomas have the same, as does the priest. Tis a fine show ya did an’ many more folks will come fer the next one.”

  “Well,” said Merlin as he removed half of the coins and placed them in front of James. “These be thine, James, as yee helped me put magic on the crowd an’ I couldst not have performed so well without yee.”

  The boy’s eyes bulged as he looked at the coins and then at his father. “Father! Might I keep these?”

  “Son James, if Wizard Merlin says yee helped an’ he wishes ta pay thee, then yes, the coins stay with yee.”

  The boy stood and bowed to Merlin. “So many thanks ta yee, Wizard Merlin. Never hath I held so many coins at once.”

  “I have one request fer yee, James. Tomorrow morn we take thee ta a cobbler an’ get thee some shoes.”

  “Thy wish be done, sire,” answered the boy.

  Merlin turned to the two men and said in a gentle voice. “Friends Harold and Thomas. I fear that I must leave London for a spell. But, I shall return in nine days an’ may possibly seek yer help fer another show.”

  “That be fine by my account, great wizard,” said Thomas as he looked at Harold.

  “Mine also, Wizard Merlin. An’ I will gladly help thee with thine show as will young James.”

  Merlin smiled. “About young James, friend Harold. I have instructed the boy in some of my magic an’ if ya agree, I will teach him all I know. But, to do this he must travel with me as my apprentice. An’ as yer can see, he shan’t want as I can always place coins in his hands an’ food in his belly.”

  Harold’s eyebrows arched in thought for a moment then he answered, “He be me oldest boy an’ I have a closeness ta him, specially since his ma be dead. He works like two boys fer me an’ it doth hurt ta see him so weary at evening time. Me thinks that bein’ with ya be good fer the lad an’ as yer willin’ ta teach him yer trade, I be foolish ta say no.” He looked deep into Merlin’s eyes and asked, “Will ya take him away an’ never will I place me eyes on him again?”

  “No never! I will travel with him, friend Harold, but always shall we return to London, for as I said, it be the greatest city in the world.”

  Harold looked at James and asked, “Boy, if’n ya say no, it be no. But if’n ya say yes, I be proud ta make ya the apprentice of this fine Wizard.”

  “Oh papa. I say yay! Fer ta learn his trade wouldst bring honor fer our family.”

  “Then, Wizard Merlin,” said a proud father, “it be yes! Young James is ta be thine apprentice.”

  They shook hands as Merlin said, “First, then, I wouldst teach young James ta read an’ write.”

  They all touched mugs and finished their drinks before retiring.

  The next morning saw James sitting high on a horse with Merlin sitting behind him. Thomas and Harold stood in the street as they wished them goodbye.

  “He be known as Spike,” said Thomas as he patted the horse’s head. “He be gentle an’ eats grass so ya shan’t be needin’ oats fer him.”

  “Again, I thank yee,” said Merlin as he sat unsure behind the boy.

  “By noon today,” said Harold, “I shall find a new steed fer friend Thomas an’ his wagon. Now,” he said as he grabbed the boy’s hand, “take care an’ mind yer manners, James.”

  James just nodded, as he didn’t want to cry.

  “Good friends,” said Merlin, “best we be off so as ta catch
as much of the sunlight as we might.”

  The boy gently nudged the horse in the sides wearing his new, leather tie-up shoes and they started their journey back to camp.

  The scream sent chills through the camp as they were eating their morning-meal.

  “Tis Kennith,” shouted a young girl, “He went ta gather berries fer morning-meal an’ he must be on the road.”

  Arty jumped out of his tent and said to Bruno and Ron as they ran to the road on the other side of the hill, “I knew this was the most vulnerable time of the day . . . no one is watching the road yet. Darn!”

  He reached the road and saw a large group of boys and girls just standing and watching a knight on his horse beat the small boy who tried to run but was continually cut off by the knight’s maneuverings. “Dost thou think me ta forget thou belongest ta meself, Kennith? Dost thou like ta feel the side o’ me blade?”

  He slapped the boy on his back with the flat of his blade and shouted, “Get thee up and follow me back ta Surry, ya peasant.” He looked at the group and said, still in his wrestler’s voice, “An’ who be yee, dolts? Pray tell where be thine masters? Ya be some o’ the ragamuffins what robbed Sir Grogan’s horse and supplies?” He moved closer to them and went on menacingly, “Methinks thou art the very same ragamuffins what did.” He pointed his sword and went on, “In line, all o’ yee. We set off fer Surry an’ I wouldst sell ya all.”

  “Hey! Who the heck do you think you are?” The crowd of teens and the knight turned to see Arty run onto the road. He was dressed in his jeans, tee shirt, motorcycle boots and jacket. He walked up and stopped just outside of the range of the knight’s sword and said in his wrestler’s voice, “Fight me, if thou dare.”

  “Who be thou?” Asked the knight as he raised his visor to better see his new foe.

  “I be Arthur of Keansburg and I challenge yee.”