Kit And Kisses

by Smith, Karen Rose

  Kit was.

  ***

  Kit was so happy for her sister. And she had to admit she was envious, too. She wanted a happily-ever-after like Maggie had. What were the chances? Was she just dreaming?

  She'd just let herself into her apartment and switched on the fan when her cell phone beeped. She swiped it from her purse and couldn't help smiling. It was Grey!

  "Hi! I've been worried about you. Is everything okay?"

  His hesitation was enough to tell her everything was not okay. Then he confirmed her conclusion by saying, "Kit, we have to talk. Will you be there around seven?"

  "Sure, I can be here. But can't you tell me?"

  "I'd rather talk about this in person. I'll be there at seven."

  Kit's heart pounded. She'd find out what was wrong in less than an hour. All she had to do was keep her fears in check.

  That's all she had to do.

  ***

  When Grey rapped on her back door, Kit was loading dishes into the dishwasher. She looked up and their eyes met. He opened the door and approached her slowly. She'd missed him and she wanted to feel his arms around her.

  When he bent his head to kiss her, she lifted her lips to his and anticipated the magic that usually overwhelmed her. Grey's tongue swept her mouth, and he pressed her into him so they could both feel the strength of their desire, but then he broke away.

  With a kiss like that, everything had to be all right, didn't it?

  She saw Grey was breathing raggedly, too, but he didn't reach for her again. He backed off and ran his hand across his forehead. "Let's talk."

  Fear curled around Kit's heart and she told herself stay calm. But her heart kept its up insistently fast rate, ignoring her command. She was surprised to find she couldn't even ask him what he wanted to talk about because she couldn't find her voice.

  "I've made some decisions about us and about the store. I thought I could keep the store, marry you, and not jeopardize Deedee's future, but that's impossible now."

  She tried to absorb everything he was saying one statement at a time. Her heart took wings at the word "marry" until the "but" registered, and she waited for the ax to fall.

  "Funding at Deedee's home is being cut. Expenses there are going to double. I know what you've been through with Higgins, and I won't ask you to take on another financial burden. Red Bucket has upped their offer. I can't afford not to consider it seriously. So, I've decided to sell the store."

  After a moment, when her voice seemed frozen in her throat, Kit felt the fire of anger surging through her. Her astonishment and fear melted away, leaving her with a feeling of betrayal and fury she hadn't experienced even with Trent Higgins.

  Taking a deep breath, she faced Grey squarely. "When did Red Bucket up their offer?"

  His jaw tensed. "Last week."

  He'd kept this from her. Her stomach clenched. "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "Because there was nothing to tell."

  Her heart hurt, and tears burned in her eyes. All she could think about were Trent Higgins's secrets and the lies he'd told. "I had a right to know, Grey. My time and effort are involved in the success of your store, too. Did you think I'd stop working on the special promotion if I knew?"

  With a frustrated frown, he said, "Of course not. Understand my position, Kit. I had to think about more than my future. I had to think about Deedee's."

  "I thought we were close enough to discuss it. I thought we were becoming a couple."

  "We are a couple."

  "No, we're not. After letting me stew for two days, after letting me worry about the hundred reasons why you pulled away, you walk in here and tell me I've put weeks of thinking and planning and energy into a store you're now going to sell. Selling Corey's Hardware is your decision to make. But the reason you're selling it is so you can marry me? Did I hear that in there somewhere?"

  "I don't know why you're so upset. I'm doing this for us!"

  "That's the problem, Grey. You don't understand why I'm upset. You kept Red Bucket's offer from me, then you made a decision that involved me."

  "I didn't keep it from you. It wasn't important. I wasn't going to consider it. Not until Tanya called and needed to talk to me about the cut in funding."

  "Is that where you disappeared to on Saturday?"

  "Yes," he shot back.

  "You didn't tell me about that, either!"

  He looked ready to shake her. In an even tone, he returned, "I'm telling you now."

  "After. You're telling me after the fact. After you made your decisions. Decisions, I might add, that could affect my life. I can't believe you did this, Grey. I can't believe you didn't trust me enough to confide in me. You of all people know what I went through with Trent. The financial burden was the least of it."

  "I know he hurt you, Kit—"

  "Not as much as you have. I opened my heart to you. I've been as honest as I know how to be. I can't believe I chose another man who wants to keep things from me—"

  He took her by the shoulders. "Dammit, Kit, don't you put me in the same category as Higgins."

  She pulled away and backed up until the refrigerator would let her go no further. "You asked me to trust you and I did. Because I deluded myself into thinking you knew how to respect a woman and treat her like an equal."

  He clenched his hands at his sides. "I do respect you and see you as an equal."

  "Really? You made the decision we'd get married without, I might add, even mentioning it to me. You decided to sell Corey's hardware. You decided I wouldn't want to help with Deedee's expenses. And then you say you're treating me as an equal?"

  "Kit, I'm doing what's best for everybody."

  "You think it's best to sell the store your dad loved and you've fought for since he died? You think it's best that marrying me fits right in with financial decisions you make? That makes me feel...sad. I don't want to be a financial decision. I don't want our relationship to be determined by the next crisis."

  "You're blowing this all out of proportion. If you look at the situation objectively—"

  "I don't love objectively. But then you haven't mentioned love. Maybe it isn't important to you, but love is important to me—more important than finances. If you believed in our future, in me, in us, you'd know I wouldn't care about helping to pay Deedee's expenses. You'd know I'd want you to keep a store you've given your adult life to. You'd know I wouldn't care if we had to struggle as long as we did it together. You accused me of not trusting you. I think you're the one who can't trust. And if you can't give me your trust, if love and sharing isn't important in our relationship, then marriage is out of the question."

  Behind the anger, Grey could see the hurt glistening in Kit's eyes. He could hear it trembling in her voice. She gave the impression she had a strong, tough facade, but inside she was soft, and vulnerable. He'd miscalculated. He'd bungled badly. And he might have done their future irreparable harm. He wanted nothing more than to hold Kit in his arms and assure her he did love her. He should have started with that. He should have asked her to marry him on Saturday night no matter what else was happening.

  She turned away from him, her shoulders rigid. "You'd better go," she said, building a palpable wall around herself. He could feel it growing thicker and higher the longer he stood there.

  "Kit..." When he reached for her, she stiffened.

  Maybe they both needed a little time and space. Maybe if he backed off now, she'd realize he'd never meant to hurt her.

  He walked to the door, knowing he'd be back. And somehow he'd convince her their future was worth fighting for.

  ***

  Deedee threw the tinfoil ball across her room and Star chased after it. Grey didn't get the usual pleasure he experienced as he watched his sister giggle and enjoy herself. He knew he was too preoccupied. He knew he was too frustrated to get pleasure out of anything. He'd called Kit at least ten times without success. Her voicemail took her messages. At ten
last night, he knew damn well she was monitoring each and every message. He couldn't bring himself to tell her he loved her on a computer chip! He had to do it in person...face to face...heart to heart. Figuring time would help, he'd stayed away for four days. But now he wondered about that time. Maybe it had done more harm than good. Obviously he didn't know how women thought. He didn't know how Kit was feeling right now. As upset as he was? As in love? Was that the real problem–his pride? He didn't want to be rejected again so he'd walked away?

  His frustration mounting, he got up from Deedee's bed and went to her desk. Large sheets of drawing paper lay scattered across it. The top one in pencil, depicted Star chasing a butterfly. It was quite good. The drawing underneath caught his attention immediately. Colored in chalks, a garden of zinnias and snapdragons summoned half a dozen butterflies. Grey recognized the greenery behind the vibrant flowers, the flat rocks in the midst of the garden. And his heart ached.

  "What's the matter, Grey?"

  If he was honest with Deedee, he'd find out how she felt, too. Though he knew no matter what Deedee thought, he was going to marry Kit. They'd work it all out somehow.

  Still holding his sister's drawing in his hand, he turned to her. "Kit and I had a...disagreement."

  "She's mad at you?"

  "That's about it."

  "But you're not mad at her?"

  "She was right. I was wrong."

  Deedee picked up Star and plopped the kitten in her lap. "Did you tell her?"

  Was the solution as simple as that? "No, I didn't. Not yet. I'm trying to figure out a special way. How would you feel if Kit and I got married?"

  Deedee stared at Star and tickled her under the chin. "I like Kit," she said softly. "And I think she likes me."

  "I know she likes you."

  "She's not like Susan."

  "No, she's not."

  "I guess it's okay if you get married. Can we still play catch?"

  Grey crouched down on the floor next to Deedee. "Yes, we can still play catch, and go on picnics, and go to ball games. Being married to Kit will make everything better than it was before. The three of us will be a family."

  "Not if she's mad at you."

  He rose from the floor. "I guess I'll have to fix that." Lifting the drawing, he asked, "Can I give this to Kit? I think it might help."

  Deedee thought about it for a moment. "Yep. Can I help wrap it?"

  "You sure can. But more important, I'd like you to sign your name."

  "Why?"

  "Then Kit will know it's from you, too."

  ***

  Planting new bulbs for next spring was one of Kit's favorite gardening chores. But even the promise of ruby red and yellow tulips, and fragrant blue hyacinths couldn't cheer her up. Maggie had scolded her more than once for not answering Grey's calls. Truthfully, she was scared to answer them. This from a woman who'd vowed never to be afraid of anything. Exactly what was she afraid of?

  He might say he didn't love her and marriage was just a convenience he'd thought would benefit them both.

  He might say he wasn't interested any more.

  He might say he loved her.

  What then? What kind of relationship could they have if he made decisions for her? If he couldn't tell her how he felt? Each day that passed, Kit realized more and more how much she loved Grey and how afraid she was that he didn't love her the same way. But she also remembered what Grey had said to Maggie. Men like to feel that they're taking care of the people they love. Had he really seen the situation in that light?

  Digging into the ground with the gardener's shovel, she scooped down a few inches then bored deeper. By the time she'd planted her third bulb, she was sweating. The end of August. Summer was almost over. And she and Grey...

  Suddenly, she knew she was no longer alone. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw a long shadow. Before she had time to take another breath, Grey stood beside her. With her hands trembling so much she could hardly hold the shovel, she laid it on the grass.

  His deep voice floated down to her. "You didn't answer my calls."

  Pretending a bravado she didn't feel, she plucked the unplanted bulbs into her gardening basket and asked flippantly, "So you decided to come in person to see if my phones are working?"

  "No. I came to give you something."

  She had no choice then but to look at him. He held a flat box in his hand. It was wrapped in yellow paper and decorated with a red bow. Curious, she climbed to her feet. Grey kept his gaze on her, but she couldn't tell anything from his expression. He handed her the box.

  Running her hand under the paper, Kit unwrapped the present. As she lifted out a folded-up piece of paper, Grey took the box and wrappings and laid them with her bulbs. Slowly, she unfolded the paper. She recognized her garden immediately, just as she noticed Deedee's name.

  "You're like one of those butterflies—strong yet delicate, beautiful yet practical. You've brought me vibrant color, excitement, passion. I love you, Kit. I should have said that first before I said anything else the other night. I screwed up. Badly. I thought about everything you said and you were right. My only excuse is that I'm not used to sharing responsibility. But I promise, if you love me, too, and if you agree to marry me, I'll make a determined effort to remember you're a woman who wants to be a full partner. I promise we'll make our decisions together. Will you marry me?"

  Grey looked as if he hadn't slept since their argument. His hair was disheveled as if he'd run his fingers through it recently. What she loved about Grey the most was his honesty and sincerity. And she knew deep in her heart it was real and dependable, not a figment of her imagination conjured up because she wanted to believe it was there. He was in the habit of protecting those he loved. She'd just have to show him she needed his love much more than she needed his protection.

  Nothing in the world could have prevented her from asking, "When?"

  He laughed joyously and pulled her into his arms.

  The kiss was everything she'd ever experienced with Grey and more. It was tingles and escalating excitement, fire and scorching passion, demand and teasing seduction. But now it was also love, commitment, and the promise of a lifetime together.

  Caressing her back with long strokes, he splayed his fingers through her hair and kissed her as if they only had today, as if tomorrow might never come. She kissed him back with the same fervor, stroking his face, his neck, his shoulders, leaning into him, trying to get closer. Her body cried out for his touch, her heart sang of its love, her soul wanted union far greater than the physical.

  Grey held her by the shoulders and with a frustrated groan pulled away. Leaning his forehead against hers, he said in a ragged voice, "I want to carry you inside and make love to you. But we have to straighten out a few matters first."

  Her heart took a scared little leap, but then she gazed into the green depths of his eyes and knew they could solve anything with persistence, determination, and love. "What?"

  "I'm not only asking you to share my life, but my burdens too."

  "Deedee's not a burden."

  He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I know. But her care could be. We have a couple of options." He straightened but linked his arms around her. "I can sell to Red Bucket, become their manager and make a nice salary, and keep Deedee at the home. I can keep Corey's Hardware and Deedee could live with us. Or...I can keep Corey's, hoping business keeps growing, let Deedee stay at the home, and ask you to help with expenses. I need your honest feelings on this. I want to do whatever is best for our marriage. So I guess I'm asking you to seriously consider the consequences of marrying me. All I can offer you is my love and support and the promise I'll love you always."

  "That's what I want, Grey. Your love and support. And I vote for keeping Corey's and letting Deedee stay where she is. Of course, I'll help with her expenses. And after another year, we can reevaluate. We'll do whatever we have to do. If at any time Deedee wants to come live with us, we'l
l welcome her with open arms. We'll always consider what's best for her as well as what's best for us."

  Grey held Kit close for a moment and stroked her hair. "Do you know how special you are?"

  She tilted away and smiled. "I know how special you are and how much I love you."

  The evening sun shed beams of light and warmth on them as they gazed into each other's eyes, communicating with their hearts. A slight fluttering nearby finally broke the intensity of their unspoken words.

  An orange and black Monarch butterfly lighted on Grey's shoulder.

  Kit asked softly, "Do you know what that means?"

  "What does it mean?"

  "That we'll be blessed with happiness and good fortune."

  Grey smiled, bringing her into the curve of his arm without disturbing the butterfly. "I was blessed with happiness and good fortune the day you walked into my store."

  Kit leaned her head against Grey's shoulder, accepting his strength and the promise of his love.

  EPILOGUE

  Grey carried a large white sheet cake onto his patio and set it on the redwood table. Eric stood beside Maggie's lawn chair as she cuddled their new son in her arms. In the yard, Deedee hit a croquet ball and watched it roll.

  Kit crossed the threshold behind Grey, a coffee pot in her hand. "The christening went well. Michael couldn't have been a better baby."

  Grey took the coffee pot from her and set it beside the cake. "I think his godmother was terrific. He never considered crying because you rocked him the entire time."

  Grey watched an expression play across his wife's face as she glanced at Maggie and the baby. In the first nine months of their marriage, he and Kit had kept no secrets, told each other their concerns.

  "What's wrong?" he asked softly.

  "I wasn't going to say anything yet..."

  "Spill it, kiddo," he prompted.

  Kit got that soft and vulnerable look on her face, the look that made Grey want to take her in his arms, hold her, kiss her thoroughly, then lead her to bed. With an uncertain smile, she murmured, "Holding Michael feels so good. And when I was rocking him at the christening, I had this strong, strong feeling. I'd like one of our own."