Heaven's Children (Earth Totem)

by Jackson, Deborah

  Heaven's Children (Earth Totem)

  Jackson, Deborah

  Deborah A Jackson

  Heaven’s Children

  The first book in the Earth Totem series

  Copyright © 2012

  PREFACE

  The sounds echoed in my dreams and I could hear the humming of their wings. For those who walked, I could hear their feet tread the ground. For those who swam, I could hear them slice through the water.

  ‘Where are you?’ I whispered holding my hands out.

  I couldn’t see anything, the mist was too thick. But I could hear them and felt their fear.

  Were they running away?

  Bad dreams

  PRESENT DAY, FRIDAY THIRTEENTH: 11PM

  I know about the white Ford now. I know without seeing that Hussein is turning dials on his radio. He arrived from Bulgaria four years ago and works as a cab driver. Someone paid him extra for tonight. Later, he tells everyone how he came here to start a new life, not to take one.

  Their voices might be muffled, but I can hear the exasperation.

  ‘Nevaeh…please…look at us.’ her parents plead.

  I’m trying ok, it’s just my eyes feel different, I can’t see properly. I feel so heavy.

  ‘Nevaeh…its Mum and Dad…’

  Am I sinking or floating? It feels weird.

  ‘Nevaeh, please honey stay with us … Nevaeh,’ they beg.

  I hate the way Mum stretches out my name. Who names their child Nevaeh? Although, I used to like it when Mum told me how they found me.

  She said that, at the hospital, I had a white feather in my basket and flowers entwined round my ankles and wrists. Mum reckoned an angel put it there because I came from Heaven. My parents had tried forever to have children, but nothing happened. Then, one day in the Doctor's waiting room, a woman who had sat next to them, gave them a card. On it was the name of an adoption agency: ‘Heaven’s children.’ They always argued about the woman, because Dad was sure it was an old woman and Mum always argued that she was young with pale skin. ‘Like a sculpture,’ she had said.

  ‘Is she going to be okay?’ a worried voice interrupts her thoughts.

  Amber? Is that you?

  ‘I hope so, thanks for calling. Amber isn’t it?’ Her Mum asked.

  ‘Umm…yeah.’ Amber mumbled.

  Amber, you don’t have to sound so miserable.

  ‘Nevaeh - it’s me -Jo-Jo. Can you hear me, your best friend? I couldn’t believe it when I heard. I would never have found out, if I hadn’t decided to walk Mum home from yours. I’ve missed you.’ she whispers in my ear.

  Good timing Jo-Jo.

  ‘Nevaeh, I’m holding your hand now, keep listening to me if you can.’ Her voice has a wobble.

  ‘It’s okay Jo-Jo, take your time.’

  My Mum’s voice is wobbling now.

  Take your time, hah! I’m not exactly going anywhere.

  ‘You should have seen your folks, I’ve never seen your Mum and Dad run so fast, we even beat the ambulance – thank goodness you were just round the corner…or…’

  Or what…?

  ‘Jo-Jo - Jeesuz!’ Amber hissed.

  I laugh, Jo-Jo always puts her foot in it.

  ‘Can you hear me Nevaeh; the ambulance will be here soon, please hold on. Your parents are here, and I’m here. Mum’s looking after your little sis.’ Jo-Jo is whispering now and I can almost see the red spots on her cheeks.

  ‘Yes darling, the ambulance will be here soon.’ Mum’s voice is still wobbly but more soothing.

  ‘Amber won’t tell me why you were at her house.’ Jo-Jo adds. I can feel the silence, it’s thick with tension.

  ‘Jeesuz.’ Amber gasped again.

  I smile - why should she Jo-Jo? You weren’t exactly best friends remember?

  ‘Nevaeh, please don’t die…I need you.’ Jo-Jo is crying again.

  Yep, all about you again – what about Josh, did you need him too?

  ‘You didn't need her before.’ It was Amber’s voice, and I can sense the change in atmosphere. She must be reading my mind, maybe it’s a group thing. Amber never pulls any punches. It’s Jo-Jo’s fault that I’m even friends with Amber.

  I can’t believe this is happening. This is like one of those horror movies – If. If Jo-Jo had not betrayed me, I would not have made friends with Amber and her group, and I obviously would not be where I am now.

  I’m definitely sinking, it feels warmer.

  ‘Nevaeh.’

  Hey, is that light real?

  ‘Nevaeh!’

  What? Give me a break will you?

  ‘Can’t do that – sorry!’

  I feel my body tense - it’s Hawk and he’s talking inside my head again. This was how everything started.

  Did you hear that? You started this.

  ‘I told you not to leave your house.’ Hawk’s voice sounds defensive.

  I can’t believe this guy – is he listening to himself? Ever heard of a phone? I must have called you a dozen times. If you cared at all, you would have answered. If I hadn’t fallen out with Jo-Jo, I wouldn’t be part of your group.

  ‘Don’t get so huffy…’ Hawk interrupts.

  Huffy? Who speaks like that? I am furious, with him, with myself, for trusting him.

  You aren’t even interesting, just weird. Don’t you know Wicca and vampire stuff is the latest thing? Never heard of totem groups holding much interest – I mean really, totems?

  ‘We’re not having this conversation.’

  Ha! No, we’re not. I’m having it with myself.

  I can feel something wet dropping on my leg, is it still raining? So why am I still outside?

  Where is everybody?

  I’m moving again. Why am I moving? It hurts. Please stop! You’re shaking everything up. I can’t concentrate.

  ‘Nevaeh, my name’s Shaun. I’m a paramedic, can you hear me?’

  Ow! Do you have to shout? You’re giving me a headache.

  ‘We’re going to move her into the ambulance. Did you drive here? Would you like a lift? One of you can join her if you like. Her vitals are stable, so she might be able to hear you.

  Hello? I am here you know. Mum? Dad! Mum’s crying, tell her not to worry...you know how she gets.

  ‘It’s alright querida, don’t worry…be strong.’ My Dad’s voice was sad.

  I can feel her, Dad…Mum’s calmer now.

  Querida sounded so much nicer than sweetheart, especially the way Dad rolls his r’s. I always loved his voice and the fact that we were a little different. Mum called us her spicy family, a mixture of English, Spanish, Turkish and a drop of something extra special – I was the extra special.

  Tired…

  ‘Then go to sleep Nevaeh. Rest...’ Hawk’s voice sounds distant.

  Maybe I’m already sleeping. Maybe this is a dream. There is no Ford, and you’re not real Hawk.

  Hawk?

  'Still here, still connecting with you. Remember? Like before?’ he replied.

  You’re still not real, this isn’t real; I’m unconscious that’s what this is - a bad dream!

  ‘Partly true I suppose…’ he answered.

  I felt cold fear wash over me; I’d been having bad dreams lately. There’s something unseen, a heaviness on the edge waiting, watching.

  I just want to wake up.

  ‘Nevaeh…I’m sorry.’

  His voice does sound sad, but I’m not ready to forgive him yet. He didn’t have to run off like that. Why didn’t he call me? Why did he think I knew about totems or any of that other stuff?

  Help me Hawk. You did this. You fix it.

  Haw
k?

  I can feel the shifting again, and remember the rushing as clearly as the roaring of the wind. It’s still watching me from the edge. I can feel it breathing. Something is wrong. I can’t ignore it, not again.

  Please wake me up.

  Earlier today I had ignored the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I ran out of the house. It’s strange how I remember the cold wind, and the way my tears stung. It didn’t stop me though, even with the sound of frantic wings flapping above. Nothing could stop me. I just needed to see Hawk.

  But I did slow down, halfway across the road. I slowed, when lightning lit everything up in a bright blue light. I stopped when the large branch that had held the birds, split and splintered. It seemed to take forever to fall and even longer to stop bouncing. The moonlight made the flicker of stones and leaves sparkle, and it felt sort of magical for a moment. Maybe, that’s why I didn’t notice the white Ford or hear anyone warning me. I wonder if I bounced.

  2

  Mirrors

  FOUR WEEKS EARLIER

  My dreams are getting weirder. I’m being watched by this guy. He smiles at me before blurring into two people, one sort of looks like Josh and the other one is darker, more intense. I’m drawn to the darker one, and feel as if I’ve known him my whole life.

  ‘I don’t get it, how did you go from plain Jane to this?’ Jo-Jo spat the last word out. I was sleeping at her house on a Friday night, and she knew that I liked to be up to catch the sunrise. I couldn't rest until the new light soaks through me. I don’t know why; it’s just the way I am. She never seemed to mind before. I watched her sniff the air after I closed the window.

  ‘And what the hell is that smell? Have you got a new perfume you haven’t told me about?’ Her voice had an edge to it. She knew I didn’t use perfume, make-up, contacts or brush my hair as often as she did. I didn’t know whether it was Jo-Jo that was changing or me.

  My hair changed with the seasons, from dark to blonde by summer, always had – it was no biggie. Anyway, she was always the popular one. Every guy wanted to talk to her. Although recently, a few were suddenly asking me out. I didn’t like it – being noticed, being seen. It was the whispering I hated the most, and I tried to ignore it especially around Jo-Jo. It made her ratty, and turned me beetroot. She even accused me of flirting when the new guy, Josh, sat next to me. I didn’t even know how to flirt, but she didn’t believe me.

  He kept waiting for me after school and I had to admit he was nice in a blonde Labrador kind of way. If he had a tail, it would wag. I tried to get rid of him, but Jo-Jo kept including him. Flirting was so easy for her but it embarrassed me. She kept falling on him laughing, but what she didn’t see was the way he sneaked looks in my direction. He was the first person I’d met that had the same green eyes as me. I didn’t like being watched, and when he winked, I wanted to hide. Maybe, he thought I wasn’t interested – I didn’t even know how I felt. I think I took too long to decide and wasn’t really surprised when I heard about the two of them. Jay, from our group confirmed it, in detail. I still don’t know why Jo-Jo was so angry with me. She was really jealous, even when I pretended to be happy for her. She saw the way he looked at me, and always clung onto him when I was around. We never really argued, but I knew when I wasn’t wanted. The last week had been so difficult although it didn’t feel so bad when I lay under the tree at break. That is, until they surrounded me. I had blinked, holding up my hand at the shadows that stood over me. I thought it was Jo-Jo and wondered why she was shattering my peace. I wasn’t disturbing them. I was giving her what she wanted - alone time with him.

  'Hey, do you know you've got leaves growing out of your hair?'

  I look up at five curious faces staring down at me and shrink further back into the grass. I recognised them.

  ‘Making new friends, Amber?’ The one named, Seth, grins from behind the group. His girlfriend, Nettles, pushes him playfully, and I blush.

  ‘Leave her alone, you’ll scare her off.’ Nettles whispered but loud enough for me to hear.

  They surrounded me each day after that until I had the distinct feeling they were adopting me.

  I wish now I had made an excuse or just walked away, but I didn’t; part of me was glad. Anyway, Jo-Jo didn’t seem worried. She didn’t even pretend to be sad or anything. Only Paul and Jay from my old group seemed curious. They tried to mingle, but Amber made it clear after a couple of lunches that she didn’t want anything to do with them. I think it was more to do with Jay, who in his typical bitchy fashion had asked if she was hiding any more Goths under her tent. She had turned on them then, baring her teeth against her dark lipstick, and they never returned after that. I remember feeling sorry for her, and although no one else saw it, caught her brushing a finger over her eye. She was always making fat jokes about herself, but I could tell it was to cover up the hurt.

  ‘I can't believe you were ever friends with those zombies. We saved you y’know.’

  I had nodded in agreement but didn’t feel it. I didn’t need saving.

  ‘I agree, ignore them - they’re idiots,’ Andrea interrupted. Her voice was raspy and she made me nervous. It was the way she seemed to watch everyone, especially me. She was the leader of the group and even though she was only a senior, she seemed older.

  ‘What are you doing this weekend? Do you like meditation? Wanna hang out? Amber bulleted questions at me. I don’t know why, but I instinctively looked in the direction of Jo-Jo. Why did I still feel like I needed permission? It was ridiculous, I was ridiculous, and we weren’t friends anymore. I shook my head.

  ‘Um, I have plans tonight, babysitting for my folks. I have a little sister.’ I added, pushing a large lettuce leaf into my mouth, hoping they wouldn’t ask me again.

  They all smiled at once, even Andrea. She scared me, the red streak in her hair made her seem threatening.

  ‘No probs, our meeting’s tomorrow night unless you’re babysitting then as well?’

  I looked from Andrea to Amber and felt my stomach flip.

  ‘Sure, no probs,’ I forced a smile, looking at them again. They were the strangest group in the school and I just couldn’t imagine any of them meditating. The school bell rang and I found myself walking with them. The tightening in my chest only easing, once each one had filtered away to their different classes. Only Amber remained at my side.

  ‘See you tomorrow’ Claudine called, looking at me ominously.

  ‘Yeah, tomorrow,’ her twin, Caro echoed.

  I felt sick, and damned myself on the way home for agreeing. I didn’t want to go, I only felt comfortable with Jo-Jo. Most of what I did went unnoticed. I took walks on my own, soaking up the energy of the air and light. I preferred to be barefoot, feeling the earth beneath my feet. Outside everything looked radiant to me, not artificial.

  I didn’t tell them that I already meditated or where. I didn’t tell them anything. I loved meditating in the woods, my other home. It always started the same way, once I had settled myself under a tree. In my dream world, I was walking through the mist into a land of wide, expansive fields filled with every flower imaginable. The grass moved beneath my feet tickling me in welcome and the light was warm and inviting. In the distance, mountains with waterfalls poured down into large pools while strange flying birds called from nearby trees. The most exciting part for me was when I got deeper, and found myself in a place I hadn’t created.

  There, I’m standing on large marble steps which lead to a grand hallway, held up by twisted columns. Impressions of golden statues in the far recesses excite me and the urge to touch them, and weave round them like a child was always tempting. It was hard not to get excited when I reached that level, but sometimes I ruined it by trying too hard, and I’m brought back.

  Only once did I manage to see further up the lap of the statue, spying the long tapering fingers that clasped a round shaped ball. It took all of my effort to concentrate on the engraved map before it had started to spin. I was ecs
tatic, and felt like I’d got an A plus in my exams. Then, like an elastic band I always snapped back past the field to the woods, where I woke up. I didn’t try to do that too often, it made me tired. I smiled to myself, and wondered what the meditation group would have made of that.

  Mum and Dad didn’t seem to mind when I took walks. After all, the woods were behind my house, and I’m fifteen going on sixteen or twenty five according to my parents, so old enough to wander. I loved my house, and my parents always talked about their luck when they moved into the area. ‘Meant to be,’ Mum had smiled. The leaflet was dropped in their post-box advertising a private sale. They had just moved to the village of Tidwell, but were renting a flat. Dad’s job wasn’t far away; he worked for the council as a planner. So when they phoned, and found out the house was empty, they were convinced there had to be something wrong, but even the price was right. It turned out that the owner, who was overseas, wanted a quick sale. The story had been told so many times, I knew it by heart, including how they always compared it to their luck in finding me. It was rickety and old, and the thatched roof was replaced, but for me, the best part had always been about where it was.

  My bedroom window looked out over the woods, and at night, when they thought I was asleep, I was leaning out as far as I could. It was my thinking time, although I thought better with the dew under my feet. The back garden had a high fence. It didn’t when I was little, only a hedge and a gate – that was all. But then, when I was little, I had gone missing for nearly a whole day. After that, they never let me out of their sight.

  The moon tonight from my window, seemed fatter, brighter, and I sighed, breathing in deeply, like I did every night, imagining the light entering my body. I missed Jo-Jo, and being in a new group was stressful. Everything felt different lately, even when I meditated, I found it hard to let go of the tension. It was like I was waiting for something to happen, I just didn’t know what.