‘All your questions will be answered, don’t concern yourself yet, I’m to help with your transition. I’ve been sent by Mother.’
‘My mother?’ I think of two people now, the woman from my dreams and the mother I walked through. He stops, and we sit down. It’s the first time that I notice what I’m wearing and pull at the thin silk green garment. I look at him. He has a similar one, in a warm orange colour, and autumn comes to mind. I look back at the way we’ve walked. We’re in a different place from before. In the distance two large trees arch towards each other, while on either side, a small child stands guard. Their flaming spears seem too large, and I’m not sure they’re human at all. I notice how their green and brown skin changes when they move closer to the tree. It reminds me of a chameleon, and I wonder what they’re guarding. Alarm flashes through me: Were we prisoners, was I?
‘Free will has always been the first commandment. What you are looking at is a memory, they are the first guardians of the veil. A memory of what was, like an echo. He spreads his arms wide. ‘We are inside Gaia’s sacred ground, the place of the first Eden.’ I look at him confused.
‘You mean Adam and Eve? That Eden?’
He cups my hand in his, and I feel an energy pass from him to me. It feels like liquid and reminds me of what I did to Hussein.
‘Would that be so bad?’ His voice is soft and I slowly nod, and the questions I so desperately want to ask to start to disappear.
‘Look!’ He points in the far distance as two people run towards us. Fear pushes through, and I tighten my grip.
‘Don’t worry, they can’t see. Remember they’re only a memory.’
I hold my breath as they near; they look like us, even their clothes, and she is terrified. She’s hiding from someone, and there are cuts on her legs. She looks in my direction and her gaze pierces through me. I feel her sadness, her anguish and want to wipe the tears that stain her face. I don’t have time – the man appears behind her, dragging her away from the safety of the tree. He’s shouting something that I can’t understand as they disappear out of the archway. As soon as they had left, the guards crossed their spears again and I knew they can never return.
‘Who are they running from?’ I can barely form the words; my mind is racing as I look at the direction they came from. The presence is angry at the deceit, destroying everything it created for them.
He turns my face towards him.
‘It does not matter, they are the past, and we are the future, creators of a new Eden. Take my hand Nevaeh and let me show you everything.’
His voice is silky. I slide my gaze from his face to his broad shoulders and narrow waist. He stands with his long legs slightly apart and I feel a longing stir. Hawk brushes over my consciousness and I feel a flicker of guilt, but the memories feel more fictitious. I’m starting to wonder if they were ever real. I stand opposite him and feel like his Eve. Maybe none of that life from before, was ever real. Being dead isn’t so bad.
28
Angel
Amber felt the totem spirit disappear into the air like pale smoke. The remains of the physical totem were already decaying and the stench overwhelmed her again, making her vomit.
Weeks before, she had been on such a high. Anna, the most powerful totem, was her friend and was going to help her join – properly. Amber tried to block the images of her betrayal, remembering how much she had given away about the group. She remembered Hawk’s instructions to be herself even though she was in so much pain it was hard to think. She felt like she was on a pyre, being burned as a sacrifice, the thought made her thirsty. As she lay on her back looking at the giant shadows, they turned into expectant demons, like they were waiting for her to die. Branches became hands that stretched down, and she wondered if this was how Nevaeh had felt, before the darkness took her. Did she even know?
‘Nevaeh, I’m sorry,’ she whispers, her voice croaking from thirst.
The crunching of feet, and growling, threatened to stop her already weakened heart and she prayed Andrea hadn’t changed her mind. Maybe she has decided to eat her after all. A voice broke through her thoughts and she would have cried if she could.
‘Amber, where have you been? Why didn’t you call us?’ He’s not alone. Three wolf totems treaded carefully round the perimeter. She remembered how difficult it was when she first saw the wolves. They seem so out of place in an English forest. Andrea explained that totems did not depend on where you lived. Your chosen totem was a gift from Gaia herself although according to Andrea, you have to have a little common sense. Totem groups don’t like attention. The story of the Jaguar that frightened local villagers was always brought up in meetings as a warning. Newspapers were filled with terror titles. Most of non-totems thought they had escaped from the local zoo, but only true totems knew. She felt the darkness closing in on her again. As if to remind her, pain flashed across her body when he picked her up. She smiled weakly until another wave of pain tore into her. This time she embraced the darkness, falling into a tormented sleep.
He half carried, half dragged her across the forest floor, towards the van, and laid her gently on the blanket.
Above, Hawk watched with the others, his totem eyes alert as they hovered. Only the rustle of the trees indicated the Ecos moving through the forest. In the distance, Raven’s group skirted the tops of the trees and houses, monitoring for other totems, while Andrea continued to slide through the forest, alone. Amber had hurt her more deeply than she could ever expect and even though she didn’t want to admit it, she was worried about her.
Apart from the three wolves that leapt into the van, no-one seemed to be on watch. The van meandered through the long stretches of country road until it arrived at a crumbling old manor house, surrounded by familiar Harp antennae. They seem unaware that they are being followed.
Back in the Harp fortress, Amber screamed on the raised platform. He made a note to call Anna; she was worse than he imagined. They had to get the remains of the totem off her or she would die. He wondered whether she had been lying there all night. He pinched her cheeks together making her focus on him. Her eyes were glazed and he knew that they didn’t have long.
‘Look at me Amber. Remember what Anna has told you; only the brave survive.’ She didn’t respond and it was the first time he felt the fluttering of human anxiety. Amber had grown on him. At first he had found her incessant talking irritating. She whimpered, and he stroked her cheek before withdrawing from the lonely tear that dripped down her face.
‘You were so desperate weren’t you? So human. You got your wish, and now you know how vile totems actually are. Now you know.’ he whispered.
He stood staring at the disfigured body before him. The totem had left its mark all over her body, and the inquisitive girl he knew was gone. He looked at her evenly; it was not the time to reveal how totems disgusted him. To him, they were the earthly offspring that stunk the air between their two worlds. The worse moment was over; he no longer had to pretend, like before. He had felt tortured at that school, and being near her was the most difficult thing he had done. Her other friend, Jo-Jo, was the most difficult to deal with and he often thought about getting rid of her permanently. Only Nevaeh kept him going, kept him sane.
He sensed Anna a message, while holding Ambers hand as she writhed from another wave of pain. Saving her was his parting gift to this world, and he knew she would make an excellent servant when he was joined with Nevaeh. The destiny Anna had mapped out for him, for everyone, was finally here. He fought the urge to smile, astonishing himself at the deep longing to be around her. She was his equal and her smile, her laughter, filled a void.
Nearby, the human Seth interrupted him, swearing at him. He forgot to block him, his thoughts distracting him and breathed in, absorbing the raw anger of the human. He tried to wipe the taste away, damning his empathic power. Rage returned. It was the first emotion he recognised when he was called to this world and he focused on Seth. It was his totem th
at had caused Amber’s agony. Even though he wasn’t their first choice, the female’s totem evaded them in the transition, slipping from their clutches before the frequency could contain it.
The multi-transitional chamber that separated totems had malfunctioned. It was a human invention, Anna’s invention with a little help from Khaos. Her entire group was the first to be integrated and divided into drones and slaves. Revenge was her emotion; she was soaked in it and became detached and unforgiving. Fuelled by her great plan, she never blinked when some of the humans dissolved, like the Ecos. If the captives were unwilling to be turned to their ways, she transferred their totems to new hosts. The two compartments in the transition chamber acted like a conduit with the captured totem in one and the new host in the other. At first, it seems like Seth’s captured totem recognised his imprinted signature on Amber and, like hundreds of others, responded. But, like some of the others, the signature slipped away, revealing themselves. She had had the worst rejection, and he wondered if it was because she came from the same group.
‘You will both pay for what you’ve done; Gaia herself will make sure of that. And I’ll take pleasure in killing you myself.’
Seth screamed again, interrupting his thoughts. He looked at Seth calmly before turning up the dial, each cage attached like an octopus to the central Harp computer. Seth’s cage, vibrated and he grinned at the animated reaction of the human. Everything about this place amazed him. Even now Anna was an incredible scientist, and it was this mind that worked out the ancient energy source, and minded the depths below. He wondered if she truly understood that the ancient magic she had tapped into was drawn from creation itself, just like he was. Sometimes, he thought he saw a trace of the goddess herself in her, but then he dismissed it for madness. If Anna had originated from anywhere it was from here, he reasoned, madness was not an immortal characteristic. He smiled to himself thinking again of the plan, imagining the children of Khaos and Gaia together again and almost sighed in pleasure.
He stopped when he saw Seth’s tongue lolling between his teeth and his soul start to stretch and separate. A scream from the female in a nearby cage pierced his ears, and he hovered his hand above the dial, threateningly. They were becoming a liability, even after they had been placed in separate cages, they still communicated, still connected to each other. If it wasn’t for Anna, he would have killed them long ago.
‘Please, don’t, not again….’ Nettles held her hand out desperately. He pulled his hand away watching her whisper something to her mate, trying to soothe him. Why did she try? He couldn’t hear her, not now.
He turned away, irritated that he had to babysit. He didn’t want to be here, and his longing returned. Away from here, he was free to be himself and she made him whole, two parts fitting together. When he thought of the other one, the one named Hawk - he felt his father’s blood rise up in him. The thought disgusted him – a human with a goddess, and to make it worse, a totem human. It was a violation of every law and he flexed his fists angrily. Whatever hold she had on him, he was determined to break it.
Amber moaned interrupting his thoughts, and he let his hand linger on her cheek. Anna had not returned his message, but if he didn’t help her now, she would be dead within the hour.
He held her hand before closing his eyes. A vibration pulsed through his body as the gathering liquid energy poured from his hand. He pulled away and heard her sigh. Humans, he discovered, were sensitive and could literally melt if too much of it entered their bodies. He watched the colour return to her cheeks, and her eyelids flutter open and he smiled pushing her hair away.
‘How do you feel Amber?’ He felt like a father with a new born, her elation imprinting onto him.
Amber blinked in confusion, wriggling her toes – she was whole again and felt her tears well up. She rubbed her arms and legs in wonder. Her skin was radiant and even the old marks from when she was a kid were gone. Her mind felt alive and the misery that she felt seemed so long ago not minutes.
‘How?’
‘Hey, you deserve to be healed; your help has been invaluable.’ He laughed.
She sat up, smiling. The light inside the dome was dim and it was only then, that she realised it was evening. She’d been asleep for most of the day. She thought of Jo-Jo then and looked towards the cages.
Nettles spat at her before returning to her keening, stretching her arms helplessly towards her mate. She followed her gaze, and gasped when she saw the way Seth stared sightlessly. He looked dead.
He shook his head, smiling at how jumbled her thoughts were. ‘Not dead, should be, but not dead - yet.’
Amber sighed in relief before reaching out to touch his face – the face of an angel, her angel. He was still her guilty secret, and she tried not to gaze too hard at him. Drinking each part of him seemed more enjoyable somehow. His look left her breathless, from the square angle of his jaw, to the sharp edges of his cheeks and plump lips. But it was his eyes, the liquid sea green with gold flecks that seemed to make her go weak at the knees. An angel’s face haloed in a tangle of gold and copper. When she inhaled, she felt like she would pass out. His scent drew her in, binding her to him in the most sensual way. But most of all, he made her feel beautiful. When she was around him, Andrea almost disappeared from her thoughts. He had shown her things, things she thought were impossible. Anna had at first seemed like the mother she always wanted; a mother that was interested in her. Her mother was always tired, exhausted. Her pact with Hawk seeped into her consciousness and she felt torn.
Looking at him, surely he would understand, surely he would want to free them. To the others, here, he was hated, but if they only knew him like she did. She stopped, and felt the colour rise in her cheeks. Her angel was frowning at her and her stomach fluttered – had he read her thoughts?
29
Whispers
I wish everyone could see this guy. He’s gorgeous, sort of reminds me of someone. He’s so beautiful, it’s almost painful, and it feels like I’m looking at my twin. Jo-Jo would just die if she saw his blonde hair and green eyes. When I take his hand, I feel energy go through my body – it’s crazy. We’re hovering right now, over the entire planet; it’s like being an astronaut. I’m serious, I’m holding onto this guy’s hand and we’re hovering in space looking down at the earth. It’s so beautiful – I want to weep, seriously weep. The blues and greens against the blackness of space are just breathtaking. I feel part of everything.
‘Nevaeh – meet mother.’
‘Mother?’ I’m thinking of the woman with long blonde hair that holds me then leaves me.
‘Goddess Gaia, Nevaeh,’ he says sweeping his one hand across the empty blackness. It ripples like water.
‘Ok, so now I’m even more confused.’
‘Nevaeh, look at the planet, really look, feel her.’ He’s whispering to me now, holding me from behind, and I must admit I really like it.
‘Nevaeh, try to see the light around her. Can you feel her heartbeat? Every pulse of her energy lines is like a heartbeat.’ I nod furiously, I can feel it.
‘The light around her is thin, her air is thinning,’ he continues. ‘She’s choking Nevaeh. Our mother is dying.’ Her voice shocks me and I feel like I can’t breathe, I can almost feel the pain.
‘Why?’ I twist myself round to bury my head in his chest.
He lifts my chin up and stares intensely. His eyes are full of pain.
‘Humans are killing Gaia, and you and I were created to protect her. We are Heaven’s Children created in Nirvana’s light.’
30
Demons and domes
Hawk signalled to Raven in the early evening light, and the patrol obeyed, sweeping in high arcs. Earlier they had watched the gated drawbridge close behind the van. The forbidding stone entrance seemed to have none of that strange blue energy around it tonight. Maybe, he thought, Harp was focusing its energy somewhere else. The UK didn’t get tornadoes, not like America. Lately, there were st
range isolated ones, wiping out one house in a street, a totem house. It was deliberate to them, but not to the general public. The local news put it down to freak weather or global warming. He irritably flicked the ends of his feathers wondering at the ignorance of the general public. Why don’t they find it strange when birds fall from the sky like they did over Italy at New Year? To make it worse, they were white doves, symbolic of peace.
He swooped below the line peering through the blue energy at the ancient windows of the fortress. What he really wanted to know was the purpose behind Harp – why control the weather? Hawk felt the thermal wind bump slightly, and realised Raven had dropped down forming a neat arc. Raven had taken to flanking him as a mark of respect, respect Hawk wasn’t used to. He preferred to be alone – his mind flashed to Nevaeh. Groups were difficult, and he always liked the freedom to travel on his own.
Hawk’s eyes scanned the perimeter of their land; patches of telephone poles dotted the area. From the distance, they looked like wide-armed welcoming people standing in rows. He swept towards the centre, towards the dome. Earlier, he saw it open and the nose of the telescope pushed outwards. It was confusing, what were they looking for? He felt his heart beat faster; the dome was the only way in. He cawed as he dipped towards the building, faltering slightly at the movement below. He planted his clawed feet on either side before swivelling his head to look up. Raven flew in tight circles around him, while above the others continued their arc. He called him down. Although the opaque glass made it difficult to see, it was not sound proof and he could just make out square shapes. Amber had described the area as a basement - a basement full of cages. Totem instinct to call down was strong when the strain of familiar voices echoed upwards.
Shall I call the others? We can break this glass. Raven sensed to him urgently. Anger raged in Hawk when he thought of his kind trapped without the air of Gaia to breathe. He still couldn’t believe how long her madness had gone undetected. Everyone knew that if you dabbled in Khaos for too long it infected you. Hawk felt a message float towards him and sensed it to Raven. The Ecos had already entered the castle, joining with the earth before shifting into brick and he flexed his talons. He was ready.
Heaven's Children (Earth Totem) Page 14