by Chapel Byrne
“So, before dinner you weren’t sure you’d want it to be a date. But it sounds like maybe there’s an updated opinion?” he prompted.
Trying not to be awkward, she said, “Well, yeah. I mean, you know you’re good looking. So, like, let’s not pretend otherwise. And, unless you were being totally fake over dinner now that you know that authenticity is what I like, it also seems like your personality doesn’t suck.”
Quietly, leadingly, he asked, “So, if I promise not to assume that my company paying for your lobster means you owe me anything, could we call it a date? Retroactively?”
She was so busy noticing that she was really drawn to him that she almost didn’t answer. His good posture and his aura of confidence and whatever it was that made you feel like your stomach was flopping when someone was near had caused her to let go of her bag with the hand nearest him. It now swung naturally between them as she walked, just in case he wanted to do anything about that. She realized she owed him an answer.
“Oh, uh, yeah.” She was glad the sun was setting and he might not see the flush creeping into her cheeks. “We could retroactively consider it a date.”
He heaved a dramatic sigh of relief. “Excellent. Because I thought that’s what was happening the whole meal and I was about to feel like a fool.”
He laughed and caught her hand in his.
They walked silently a while. Lina noticed that his hand was warm and smooth. That, in spite of holding her hand just firmly enough, it seemed like it was probably very strong.
After a few moments, Shane said, “So, now that you trust me enough, or trust my willingness to not use lines on you enough, to call it a date…”
“Yeah?” Lina said slowly, a little dubious about where this might be leading.
“Seriously, what’s with the fire in you?” It didn’t sound like a line. It sounded like a real question.
Lina drew her brow together. “I honestly have no idea what you mean. Maybe, now that I’m not just, like, paused to karate chop down all your lines, you could tell me what you mean by that?”
He considered how to answer a moment, then asked, “When you look at me, do you see fire? And I swear that’s not the set up for some kind of weird line.”
“Well, your hands are warm and sometimes your eyes make me think of flames. When they don’t make me think of wolves or cats. Do you mean like that?” Lina was trying to understand, but she was pretty much just confused.
Shane nodded slowly. “Kind of. It’s more…I guess this will sound weird, but, in a non-horrible way, when I look at you, I see fire.”
“Like in my eyes?” She was more confused, not less.
He laughed. “I told you it was weird. Hmm…If I look at you, I see you as you appear to others. But…It’s as if there’s another layer. And maybe it’s just light. Maybe I see it as fire because I like fire. But there’s a shine that reads to me exactly like flames.” He made a concerned face. “Did that make sense at all?”
“Maybe? Like, is it like you have some kind of psychic sight or whatever? Not like you actually see me on fire and want to grab an extinguisher.” She paused to laugh at the image, and he laughed with her. Then she went on, “But more like when people talk about seeing auras?”
“I think that’s probably close,” he said. “Not exactly, but sometimes I…I would describe it as sometimes seeing people’s true natures or their energy kind of. And this is like that. I’ve known other people who seem to be filled with fire. I’m one of those people, actually. But you…You’re similar but not quite like them or like me. At least not to my sight.” He laughed, a short sound. “And now you’re wishing you hadn’t retroactively called this a date.”
She squeezed his hand and shrugged. “Naw. I mean, as long as what you see doesn’t make you act ways that don’t seem okay to me…It’s like, and I’m not saying you’re an artist, but you have to figure that artists see the world differently. And, when I was a kid, I had a crazy imagination and felt like I saw things other people didn’t or different from how other people did. Or, like, there are those people who see sounds as colors.”
“Do you think it’s my imagination?” he asked.
“I think it’s just because I’m so hot,” she said with excessive solemnity.
“Finally something we can agree on!” He laughed and squeezed her hand.
They walked around a couple hours, talking. Shane pointed out places he thought Lina might like to eat or hang out. They shifted from talking about ice breaker questions to discussing the music they liked.
Lina was a bit shy about the topic initially, worried that he would mock what few opinions she had or would think less of her for not having a lot of opinions yet. It turned out that he was both fascinated and excited.
She didn’t tell him the extent of how bad her relationship had been, but she did tell him that, due to a kind of controlling and limited boyfriend, she’d spent the last 10 years listening to the same few bands over and over, and only the rare times her boyfriend had been in the mood for music.
“In the mood for music? I swear I’m not judging your past, but I can’t imagine needing to be in the mood for music. I would literally listen to music 24/7 if I could.” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry that you were in that situation.”
“The good news is that I am almost a musical blank slate. I’ve been spending my spare time sort of trying to check out all the things I feel like I missed. I’m afraid the issue now is that maybe I’m not picky enough.” She laughed nervously. “Like, honestly, I’m intimidated to talk to you about music.”
But he was not at all a snob or a jerk. Not only did her broad tastes have plenty of overlap with his, but he had a long list of other bands he thought she might like.
“If you’ll hang out with me again, I’ll play DJ or make you a playlist or something like that.” He sounded excited. “And what do you think of shows or clubs?”
“Um…I think I might be up for them. I guess I won’t know unless I try them.” She was feeling thoroughly inexperienced.
“Wow. Your ex was totally anti-music.” Shane cringed a little. “Sorry, that’s just so foreign to me.”
Weakly, she offered, “We paused in front of some band at the county fair once.”
He threw his head back and laughed. He stopped quickly. “I’m not laughing at you. Honestly. Just…wow. Okay. If you’re willing to go out again, I’d like to give you at chance to experience every musical thing possible.”
“I think that would be cool. Though you’ll have to be more descriptive about clothing expectations. I’m a girl. I need to pay attention to my outfits,” she said.
“Fortunately, as you surely recall, I’m in an image-obsessed industry. And I have to look right in order to get the artists to trust us to be cool enough. I get it.” He slipped an arm around her. “Besides, not to push your comfort zone too much, but we should definitely talk about the gender binary and why it’s ridiculous. And not just because I don’t want to freak you out if I wear a little eyeliner sometimes.”
Lina leaned into his chest. “I can probably handle it.”
“Can I get you home? At least let me get you a cab?” Shane offered.
Lina wasn’t sure just how far from home she was. She wasn’t familiar enough with Austin yet to know. She just knew the sun had set ages ago and they’d kept wandering the streets and talking. “Uh, I live in East Austin. How far is that?”
“Well, it’s far enough that I’d want you not to walk, even if it weren’t after dark,” he answered.
“I mean, I can just catch a bus.” She shrugged. “It’s cool. I’m not one of your artists who needs pampering or whatever.”
He snorted. “If I try to be kind to you or even pamper you, it’s because that’s what I want to do for you.” He pointed. “There’s my car. I will happily drive you. But, if you’re not comfortable, I will also happily call you a cab.”
His car, unsurprisingly, was a sleek, black sports car. It gleamed ostent
atiously under a streetlight.
“If I laugh, because of course that’s what your car looks like, is it going to hurt your feelings?” she laughed.
“I’m completely aware at how diligently I am living up to the image I’ve built,” he grinned.
“Okay, I think I’d be happy to accept a ride home. If you promise not to drive like a maniac.”
Dryly, he said, “I can’t imagine why you’d ever think I drive like a maniac.” He laughed at himself. “I am completely committed to this role.”
He unlocked and opened her door, making sure she was safely in before closing it. Once he settled into his own seat, he set out, driving at a reasonable, legal speed.
When they hit an empty street, he caught her eyes, lifted a brow, and hit the accelerator. He only held it a moment, just long enough for her to shout at him. He laid off the gas, laughing.
“Sorry. I couldn’t not do that. I’m afraid part of authentic me is that I’m a bit mischievous.” He winked at her.
“If you give me a heart attack, there will definitely be no more dates,” she pointed out, torn between amusement and annoyance.
He drove at a speed closer to the speed limit the rest the way. At her house, he seemed to park and be out his door to open hers faster than she could track.
As he walked her up the sidewalk, she said, “Just so you know, I’m not inviting you in.”
“I didn’t figure you would,” he said, smiling. “Not that I would have turned down the chance.”
She unlocked her door as she said, “Well, I’m definitely not a ‘sex on the first date’ girl. Not even for lobster.” She laughed. She was suddenly aware of how small the space right in front of her door was, of how close he was standing.
Shane took a half step toward her, crossing what little space there was, and put a hand on her arm. “How about a ‘kiss on the first date’ girl?”
Lina nodded and tilted her head up. He slipped his arm around to her back, pulling her close, and pressed his lips to hers. When she parted her lips, his tongue in her mouth was warm and deft. She wrapped her arms around him and eagerly matched his heat and his hunger.
He broke off the kiss before she would have, whispering, “I should stop now, before I get more disappointed that this date ends at the doorstep.”
She stepped back, nodding. She was starting to have the same conflict. “Good plan.”
“Thanks for giving me a chance to show you that there’s someone who isn’t horrible under all the professional charm.” He turned to go. “Hope to see you again soon.” And then he slipped back out into the night.
She heard him racing off in his car as she closed her door behind her. This definitely wasn’t going to make her imagine his face less. Maybe, unless he proved to be a jerk, she should just go with it. After all, it sounded like he’d be more than happy to let her have regular access to him. Or even to be more than just part of bath time fantasizing. She flushed and felt her body respond to the thought. She wondered if every part of him was extra warm.
CHAPTER 4
Lina got a text from Shane the next evening.
“Made you a music sampler, stuff you might like.”
There was a link that opened a folder in the cloud. Lina dragged a ridiculously large stack of files onto her local drive and played them as she ate and relaxed that night. She was pleasantly surprised at how many she liked.
She texted Shane, “Thanks for the playlist! Cool stuff. I feel 80% less stupid about music now.”
He replied, “Sampler. Not playlist. And you’re very welcome.”
Lina squinted at her phone a second, then sent, “What’s the difference? Is that a stupid question?”
“No. I’m being pedantic about personal definitions. For me, playlists are more carefully curated, focused on a theme or purpose. Different intent.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes at her phone. Talking to herself, she said, “Well, at least he didn’t try to play it off as me being ignorant.”
A few times over the next week, she almost texted Shane, but Lina always stopped herself. She didn’t want to get caught up in social games, but she had what she considered a healthy sense of caution about a guy as smooth as Shane. She didn’t want to come off as some dazzled small town girl, so she decided to sit back a while and see what happened.
What happened was that, on a Friday afternoon, he texted. “Somehow not working tonight. Club?”
Lina’s mind flashed a bunch of images of clubs from movies and TV. It sounded potentially super intimidating. “Like dancing? Not sure what I’d wear.”
He must have been doing nothing, because he was quick to reply. “Exactly like dancing. Or standing around drinking and watching people dance if you prefer.”
There was a pause, and then another text from Shane. “I could come snoop in your closet and make suggestions.”
Lina started tidying up her apartment, just in case, while she considered the offer. She debated with herself. It would be weird to take him up on it, right? Generally weird and specifically weird that, the third time she saw him, and only the second time she did so on purpose, he came into her room and went through her clothes. Right?
When she realized that, as she cleaned, she was dancing along with the music she had on, she shrugged. Obviously, her body had already decided. She texted, “Weird, but ok.”
He responded, “1) Nothing wrong with weird. 2) Excellent! See you at 9? Gives us time to make choices and you can take time primping if you want.”
She made a “huh” sound and said aloud, “Points for not being just another ‘what’s taking so long’ dude.”
When Shane knocked, Lina paused a moment before answering, as if she might actually back out. She opened the door slowly, a dubious look on her face.
He laughed. “You’re still not sure weird is okay?”
She stepped back so that he could walk in. She pretended not to be self-conscious about how her place must look in comparison to what she assumed his own was like. “Can I get you a drink or something? I’ve got beer and a bottle of red, I think.”
He grinned, looking around at her place. “I’ll drink if you’re drinking.”
Suddenly, a drink sounded like a nice way to take the edges off the weirdness and the self-consciousness. “It’s nothing fancy, but I think I’ll open the wine.”
As she poured them glasses, Shane asked, “So, are the bare walls because you’re a more functional girl?”
“Oh, uh, no. It’s more…” She handed him a glass and, after a moment during which she reminded herself that this wasn’t her shame, she said, “I moved here with almost nothing. I basically threw what I could in my car and ran from…well, my ex was abusive. So, there’s that…”
Shane’s face shifted from what seemed like a carefully crafted smile to genuine worry. “That’s awful. I’m sorry for making light.”
She shrugged. “You couldn’t have known.” She smiled. “But that’s the past. And every day it’s farther behind me. Someday, there will even be pictures on the walls.”
“So much for me thinking I’d get more insight into you by checking out your décor.” He laughed.
“And somehow you got insight due to the décor anyway.” She took a gulp of her wine.
“I’ll have to have you over soon so that you can judge me based on mine,” he joked.
“Pretty sure yours is all carefully crafted to just tell me the same story everything else does.” Lina laughed gently into her wine glass. “But if you want to tell me the biggest skeleton in your own closet, you totally don’t have to wait to do that.”
“You mean besides the part where I’m full of fire and I see other people’s aura’s?” He grinned.
“That’s your ‘skeleton’? I feel pretty sure that all your partying has left you with the possibility of a tiny…What’s that place in Europe where they made, like, a cathedral out of bones?”
He guffawed. “You think I’m a human ossuary? I feel like you should be
my PR rep. Bands would love that.” Then he got serious. “Though, so we’re clear, what someone else did to you isn’t a skeleton in your closet.”
Flatly, she asked, “Not even if I stayed for 10 years?”
Gently, Shane shook his head. “Not even then.”
There was an intense silence, and Lina broke it with an awkward laugh. Then she said, “So, I guess you might as well come see my totally not hip wardrobe. I swear that a revamp is on the list of things to do once I can make myself believe that I’ve saved enough money to be okay and can afford to buy unnecessary things.”
He followed her back to the room, asking, “Do I come off as super judgmental? Do you think I’m constantly grading you?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I kind of don’t care, because part of me has this instinctive ‘who are you to judge me?’ response. But…I guess my interactions with people who had money or, like, seeing people with money on TV just made me assume there was probably some judging.” She grimaced slightly. “Sorry.”
He shrugged it off. “It’s basically my job to judge. But, at least in your case, I’m still mainly working from intrigue. Like you’re a puzzle I’m trying to figure out.” He smiled. “Now, closet?” He paused, hand poised on the handle.
Lina nodded permission, and he flung the door open. She sat on the bed, drinking, as he took a moment to survey her clothes.
He turned to ask, “And it’s safe to assume you haven’t got leather pants tucked into a drawer?”
She snorted with laughter. “Yeah. Pretty safe.”
He stepped back, and the light from the room better illuminated things, flashing off something. Shane reached in to pull out a silver dress that wasn’t at all like the other dresses. He turned, holding it up. “One of these things is not like the others! I have to know the story.” He handed her the dress.