by Chapel Byrne
“Wear this one?” she confirmed.
“That’s what I’d wear. Though…Shoes?” He looked around, searching for the shoes.
Lina hung the dress on the closet’s door frame and led Shane back down the short hall to the coat closet. She opened it and pointed to her meager shoe collection on the floor.
He crouched down, swiftly pulling out one black heel and one black knee-high boot. “I’m torn.” He looked up at her. “Would you change into the dress so you can try both these on?”
She nodded and headed back to her room. She closed the door and changed.
From the other side, he said, “Seriously. How do you have a dress so unlike everything else you own? It doesn’t look like a bridesmaid dress or prom dress or any of those other occasions that seem to result in that sort of wildly different wardrobe addition.”
“Oh, I…I really liked this dress, so I bought it. But the ex hated it. He actually tossed it out. I…” She laughed awkwardly. “I rescued it and hid it, just in case I’d get a chance to wear it someday.” She opened the door and stepped back into the light, arms out and an uncertain look on her face.
Shane twirled his finger, and she turned slowly in a circle.
He said, “It’s great.” He grinned. “Are you comfortable in it?”
Happily, she nodded. “Yes. Definitely.” She swayed her hips side-to-side a couple times. “I love how it swings.”
He handed her the two shoe options and asked, “So, are you both the muted sundresses and the silver dress, or is one of these more the real you and the other is more like a costume for a part you’re playing or an occasion?”
Switching between shoes and boots, standing so that Shane could see, she said, “Honestly? I don’t know that I’m entirely silver dress, but…” She stepped to the side to see what she looked like in the full-length mirror on her closet door. “I’ve always thought, or at least hoped, that I was more silver dress than,” she waved dismissively at her other clothes to finish the sentence. She asked, “Boots?”
Shane tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Are the boots more you?”
“How did tonight become all about figuring out, like, who I really am?” She laughed and looked in the mirror again. “I like both, but the heels make me feel more like it’s a diva look, and these boots, even though I went for a pair that I could pass off as just trying to be fashionable for autumn, are slightly more, uh, rock ‘n’ roll.” She blushed. “Which feels really stupid to say to a guy who’s life is music.”
“No, you’re totally right. And if you feel more rock than diva, I think they’re equally good options, so you should go with the one that feels good.” He smiled crookedly, tucking his fingers into the pockets of his shiny, black jeans. “You look beautiful.”
She self-consciously scrunched up her face and mumbled, “Thanks.”
He grabbed the wine glasses. “Refill?”
“Please. And I’ll get working on hair and makeup. Um, feel free to play DJ with my tablet.” She slipped into the bathroom, pulling out makeup that, like the dress, had sparkled too much for Brad’s tastes. It hadn’t been quite as unscathed when he tossed it into the trash, but she could make it work.
When he’d gotten music going, he stood in the bathroom doorway behind her, watching her. After a moment, he asked, “Is it going to make you uncomfortable if I watch you put on makeup?”
“Maybe.” She laughed. “I have no idea. In my experience, the guy sits in the living room and constantly shouts out stuff to, like, make it clear I’m taking too long.”
“Yeah, that’s not me. It just sounds like a good way to ruin the vibe before the night even starts.” He slipped in to stand beside her at the tiny vanity, placing their wine glasses on the little bit of available counter top. “Can I grab…Do you have a black pencil liner?”
She handed him the liner and asked, “Are you going to put that on me or you?”
“Baby, I’m in rock ‘n’ roll. Eyeliner is for everyone!” He grinned. “And seeing that you’re set up for a look that’s a little bolder than I thought, I might be getting a little jealous. So…” He leaned forward and expertly put some liner around his bright, yellow eyes.
Just the right amount, Lina thought. She asked, “So, you’ll stop me if I’m about to go too far?”
He handed her the liner, and sat on the closed toilet, watching her intently. “I will, but I’m also now fascinated. Just what are you thinking of doing to your face that you’re asking me that?”
She swept a bright green shadow onto her lids and tried not to blush at his gaze. “I’m sure I’m not doing anything that would be over the top for you. But, again, I’ve kind of been living muted for my own safety.”
“You go as bold and shiny as you want, baby. I’m not exactly a champion of moderation, and definitely not of restraint.” He grabbed his wine and drank as she worked.
“Good. Because…” She paused to add a wing to her eyeliner. “I might have practiced a smoky winged eyeliner look in secret. And I kind of think I want that with some of this glitter powder.”
When she was done with her face and her eyes, as she picked up her lipstick, Shane stood.
“Just a sec,” he said, stepping closely to her. Carefully, not messing up the rest of her makeup, he leaned down and kissed her. Carefully, but not without heat.
Lina struggled to pretend she was breathing normally when he stepped back.
He said, “I just didn’t want to discover that you were going to be in bright red lipstick all night, that I’d have to wait until the night was over to do that.”
She blushed and opened the lipstick to reveal something less dramatic than he’d imagined. “All I’ve got is this rich berry shade. But still probably not kiss-proof, so…” She didn’t finish her sentence, but turned to apply the lipstick instead.
When she was ready he asked, “Quick selfie? Both professional and authentic me like the idea of posting a selfie of me with you. You look incredible.”
So, they took a few selfies. When they got one they both liked, they headed out. Lina felt like someone else in her silver dress, in her bold makeup, in Shane’s flashy car. She felt like she was in a music video.
As they walked up to the club, Shane said, “We could easily run into work people here. And the staff knows me. I apologize in advance for all the times you’ll see my…my extra charming side tonight.” He slipped an arm around her waist. “But you can feel free to be someone else too, if you want. Whatever feels good.”
At the door, they skipped the line and the bouncer smiled and waved them in. He and Shane exchanged quick pleasantries. They clearly knew each other. In fact, Lina noticed as they moved into and through the club, plenty of people here seemed to know him. All the staff definitely did, and plenty of the patrons as well.
And he was so, so charming and smooth. She was relieved as he gracefully turned away women who were shamelessly flirting with him. Beautiful women, who moved with his same ease and confidence.
She decided to pretend that she was already the girl for whom this outfit she was wearing was normal. She wasn’t just someone on the way to becoming that woman. She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin a little. She thought, Let them all think I’m some hot new rock chick they just haven’t heard yet.
She also decided to just go with the flow. She reasoned that the easiest way to get a glimpse of Shane’s normal world was to follow his lead. She was relieved when the extent of his debauchery at the club was plenty of alcohol and taking every chance to put his hands on her hips or waist, to pull her close.
And she certainly wasn’t going to object to his hands. Something about the way he touched her, the way he looked at her, the slow confidence with which he slid his palm around her hip when she stood by him…Something about it made her feel like she might be just as sexy as the dress made her feel.
At some point, she realized she was getting a little more buzzed than she should. When he offered to grab more drinks, she said,
“If I want to keep making my own choices, I should probably stop.”
He gave her his crooked grin and said, “Much as I wouldn’t mind making your choices, I like it better when everyone is at the party because they want to be.” A few songs later, he asked, “You want to get out of here?”
She wasn’t sure she cared. She loved the dancing, but she also liked the implications in his voice. She nodded, and he put a warm, firm arm around her as they made their way out of the press of the club and into the night air. She smiled, disconnected, at all the people he spoke to on the way.
Outside, he asked, “How horrible was it to hang out with professional me?”
She sighed, pleased. “Really? Like, as long as you’re not a jerk and you’re real with me, it’s kind of fascinating. You’re scary good at it.”
He squeezed her closer to him and rumbled, “I was born to do what I do. Now,” he opened her car door, “shall we go somewhere else or maybe back to one of our places?”
She climbed in and looked up at him. “Are you good to drive?”
“Absolutely.”
She narrowed her eyes, and he stood on one foot and started touching his nose with alternating fingertips. She giggled. “Okay. Officer Lina believes you.”
He stopped, and leaned over her open door, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “So, where to?”
“Well, no more drinks and I’m not hungry, so…my place?” She raised an unsure eyebrow.
Shane stood and put his hand on the door handle, waiting for her to finish pulling her feet into the car. “Your place it is.” He closed the door, the small smile now settled on more than just the corners of his mouth.
He drove home with none of the speeding antics of the last time he’d driven her home. He put in a CD, something that had been included in the sampler of music he’d sent her. She was just drunk enough to forget to be inhibited about singing in front of someone else, so Lina passionately sang along with the ones she knew.
At a break in songs, Shane said, “You can sing, you know.” He grinned.
Lina gave him a big, kind of silly smile. The night just kept being good. She shouted over the music, “I’m so glad I decided to get over the weirdness and just go with tonight.”
Almost as soon as she had her front door closed and locked, Shane slid up behind her, his hands on her hips and his mouth on her neck. Slowly, he pushed her to and against the door, pushing himself against her, pinning her there. She felt her heart and hips respond, and her breath sped up.
His hands slipped down slightly farther and slowly lifted the hem of her dress. He paused, ever so slightly, as if giving her a chance to object. Her breath caught, and he continued lifting until the hem of her dress met the waistband of her panties.
His hands shifted, slipping under the waistband. Squeezing the bare flesh of her hips as they continued to move forward. Instead of pushing her against the door, he now pulled her toward him. She followed the pull, leaning back against him, her head falling back slightly, though her hips pushed forward as if trying to meet his hands.
He kissed the base of her neck and her collarbone as he slipped his hands all the way forward, his fingers teasing, rubbing, making her squirm and moan.
She had been pressing her hands against the door, but now she reached back to undo the button and the zipper of his jeans. She could feel his breathing speed up and could feel that he was, in fact, warm everywhere. Not just his mouth or the hands that now massaged her or the fingers that promised to enter her.
He slowly pulled his hands out just a little, just enough to slide her panties down and to turn her around. He growled, “I want to see your eyes.”
She pushed down his jeans, surprised to see he wore nothing under them. And, in the dim light that filtered into her entry way, it looked like he tanned in the nude. She hadn’t known anyone quite like him before, she was sure of it. That only excited her more, only made this seem more like she was having someone else’s night.
He leaned in, kissing her hungrily and pushing her back against the door. He put a hand under her chin, lifting her eyes to his as he entered her. She could have sworn there were fires in his. And, yes, he was warm. Everywhere he touched her, it felt like noonday sun, radiating.
When he seemed sure she would maintain eye contact, he used one of his hands to pin hers to the door and the other to reach down and make sure that he wasn’t the only one getting off. Every thrust felt like he was turning up the temperature. She moaned as her hips seemed to buck and thrust of their own volition.
And climax was ignition, flame bursting to life. She screamed in ecstasy, not worried if the neighbors heard. After a decade of being nothing but a tool for someone else’s pleasure, this felt like just what she deserved.
And when, later, having moved to her bed and soaked her sheets with sweat, he told her that he wanted to give her the world, to fill her over and over in every way, to dress her and strip her down and cover her in fine clothes and in his skin, she couldn’t see why not. This was the universe balancing things for her.
Shane even said so. “After a decade of starvation, don’t you deserve every bit of pleasure and fineness you can get?”
She spread her legs and gripped the sheets and opened herself to devour everything she was owed.
It was still dark and Lina was drowsy. She curled naked in Shane’s hot embrace. She would never need blankets if he was holding her. She smiled at little as she noted that his tongue was as adept in the naked dark as it was at charming people who were fully clothed.
He nuzzled her neck and said, “Hey, want to see something incredible?”
She yawned and asked, “Do I have to get dressed to see it?”
She could hear the grin in his voice when he said, “I will support your desire to remain naked for as long or as often as you like.” He sat up. “This is clothing optional amazement.”
Lina stretched, then sat up.
“Turn around so you can face me,” Shane said.
She turned, wishing more light seeped in from the windows so she could look at him. How do his eyes still seem to burn? she wondered.
“Watch,” he whispered, and she focused her eyes on the space between them.
Suddenly, there were flames the color of Shane’s eyes. They seemed to spring up on his palm and form into a small ball that he held in both hands.
She gasped. “How did you do that?”
Evenly, he said, “I told you that I had fire in me.”
“I’m definitely mostly sober by now. Aren’t I?” She wasn’t sure she could really be seeing this.
“I don’t metabolize alcohol the same way you do, but I’d think so.” The flames put off heat and light. Enough light that the smug smile on Shane’s face, the one that seemed to say “I told you so,” was clearly visible.
“Can I touch it?” she whispered.
“I honestly don’t know. Normally, I’d say no. But you…I told you, there’s fire in you too.” He considered it. “You could move your hand in slowly, like you would with any other fire, and see what happens.”
As she inched her hand toward it, the fire seemed to reach back a little, tiny tongues stretching from the ball. But they definitely felt hot, dangerous. She pulled her hand back.
“I think they’d burn me.” She was disappointed.
Shane, on the other hand, just sounded intrigued by that. “Interesting…Let me put this out, and then we’ll see about your fire, okay?”
She nodded, realized he might not be able to see, and said, “Okay.”
Rolling the ball of fire, Shane moved his hands so that he could press it into his chest. It looked like his body hungrily sucked in the flames that would have burnt Lina.
She murmured, “This is definitely someone else’s night.”
“What?”
Lina flushed. She hadn’t actually meant to say it aloud. She cleared her throat. “Uh, I was just…This whole night, once I was dressed, hasn’t felt real. It’s felt
like it belongs to someone else. Someone very lucky.”
“Maybe,” suggested Shane, “it belongs to the person you are now, the person you’ve always wanted to be.”
“Yeah, this is definitely not Angie’s night.” Lina laughed quietly.
“Angie?”
“That’s what I went by my whole life. But, uh, my name is Evangeline. So, when I moved…” She trailed off.
“When you ran, you left Angie behind. And, maybe now, it’s time to let yourself fully become Lina,” Shane finished for her.
“Yeah. Maybe it is.” As she sobered up and as the minutes since the last hot (in more ways than one) round of sex slipped away, her heady sense of being entitled to something grand was also slipping away. But that didn’t mean she shouldn’t really let herself be more like, as she’d been reminded tonight, she wanted to be.
“Can I see if I can call your fire out?” he asked.
“Uh…Yeah? Sure. What do I need to do?” She was suddenly her old, awkward self again.
“I think if you just…Okay, the ball of flame I made? I think yours is similar, but there’s more white to it instead of being so bright yellow. And…You honestly don’t feel it?”
“I just feel like me.” She shrugged at the darkness. “Maybe it’s the tiny spark that finally got me out the door in Wellston? The one that lets me not just be blown away by any pretty boy with a line?” She laughed a little.
He laughed with her. “It very well could be. So...I want you to focus on that spark. I want you to imagine you see it, though I’m telling you now it’s more than a spark. And just…I’m going to put my hands here…” He put his palms on her chest. “Though not for the same reasons as earlier,” he coyly noted.
She felt the heat of his hands, but, as she tried to picture having a spark, she also started to feel heat in herself. And it seemed to answer the warmth of his hands. It was like a hungry tongue, lashing toward his palms.
Lina made a little “oh” sound, and she heard Shane suck a quick breath through his teeth. She looked down, and her chest seemed to glow, seem to be lit from within, where Shane’s hands had been.