Lamassu weren’t just called the most powerful beings on Earth—they were. And more.
“Let’s go talk,” I said, keeping my tone flat. We left the cafe and strolled casually across the town circle as if the tension between the three of us wasn’t thicker than peanut butter in an arctic blizzard.
The closer we got to the castle, the more I could feel her presence. Her unhappiness. Her despair, and it struck me like a sucker punch to the gut.
I made a one-eighty. “Be right back.” I caught Miles glance. “Wait for me in the foyer.”
He nodded, and I took off back across the street and into the cafe.
“Hey, big guy. What’s up?” Raven asked, weaving between the tables to my side. “Forget something?” She held up a to-go coffee cup and gave me an encouraging smile.
I took the offering, relishing the scent of the nutty roasted hazelnut aroma. “Thanks, but could I trouble you for a cup of hot chocolate as well?”
“You’re so sweet to that girl. Gimme a sec.” She bounded off, returning shortly with another covered paper coffee cup. “If it wasn’t crazy, I’d totally think you were trying to win her over. You’re always bringing her treats.”
My throat cinched closed, her words much too close for comfort. “Crazy,” I said, barely able to keep my voice from cracking.
I’d faced thousands of enemies through the years. All types. Weapons of mass destructions. Crazy lunatics.
I always won.
Never believed different, but the upcoming conversation with Rose and Gretchen was the first time I’d ever felt…fear. Things would be easier if I could just fight it out, but Rose wouldn’t fight me with a sword. If she wanted me dead, she’d just snap my neck and stab me through the heart. There would be no words. No negotiation.
I knew her.
I knew what to expect.
“What are you and Gretchen reading right now?” Raven’s question jerked me out of the mire my mind was concocting.
“Antony and Cleopatra,” I said, my voice managing a robotic quality.
“Very good play.”
“It was and thanks for the drinks.” I lifted the cups in a salute and used my shoulder to push open the cafe door, escaping from Raven’s cheerful optimism and eye-opening realistic summation of how I spent my free time.
Did everyone in the town know I spent most afternoons tucked away in the Blackmoor library with one of the Sisters? How had I been utterly oblivious to my own infatuation? If someone had pointed it out sooner, perhaps I could’ve stopped it before it progressed to the point it was at now.
But I didn’t want to forget Gretchen, and I wouldn’t trade a single afternoon I’d spent in her company. She’d made my tired, bitter soul feel young and alive again.
I kicked the bottom of the large oak and iron door leading into the front space of the castle. Miles opened it, and I stepped inside beside him. Rose stood a few feet away, closer to the double grand staircases leading to the Blackmoor’s personal quarters.
He glanced at the coffee cups and grunted his approval.
The library was on the second level as well, but instead of keeping it to themselves after the library in town burned in a Djinn attack, they’d generously left it unlocked and available to anyone who wanted to use it.
Miles was the book hoarder out of the two Blackmoor brothers. Eli preferred artwork and had filled the castle with hundreds of classic pieces. Both had been collecting since the castle was built. Between them, they probably had one of the most varied collections left in North America after the Riots.
The door thudded shut behind me and I directed my attention to Rose. “You will not be cruel to Gretchen. Whatever lashes you feel the need to inflict, direct them at me.”
One of her eyebrows rose slightly, but nothing else in her expression changed.
I marched past her and up the stairs. She followed a few paces behind me, and Miles brought up the rear.
Halfway down the hall, I pulled open Miles’ office door and allowed Rose to enter ahead of me. I might not be in her good graces right now. I might be pissed as hell that we were going to have this useless conversation, but I still respected her. She was a fair and strategic leader. She’d lost everything in her war to protect the House of Lamidae. I could sympathize. I’d heard her say on more than one occasion that her goal was to protect the Sisters, fulfill the prophecy, and give the supernaturals trapped on Earth a chance to return to Veil after all these thousands of years.
For that alone, she deserved my respect.
Even my loyalty.
But for once in my life, my head and my heart were torn.
“Rose, what a surprise. What can I do for you?” Diana’s crisp cool tones carried through the doorway—Miles and Eli’s mate had a way of speaking that radiated a confidence and strength that rivaled Rose’s.
“We are here to speak with Gretchen. Would you give us the room?”
A growl rumbled in Miles’ chest. “Diana can stay if she wishes. She’s just as much a part of this as I am.”
“Very well. I was merely thinking of Gretchen. The room is already quite crowded.”
I stepped inside and moved past everyone, using my body to block Rose’s view of Gretchen where she sat in the window seat next to Diana. I mouthed a thank you to Diana who responded with the slightest nod before standing and stepping forward just slightly.
“We should all give Alek and Gretchen a moment before whatever this is begins.” The Drakonae queen gave a small gesture toward the door and waited. Miles moved first, his heavy footsteps retreated to the hallway. I didn’t turn, but I could feel the churning, angry magick emanating from Rose—pissed that Diana was ordering her out of the room.
“There’s nothing Alek and Gretchen need to discuss privately. This entire state of affairs came from them having privacy in your library without my knowledge.”
“And their current state of affairs will not change with a few more minutes to speak with each other.” Diana bit out her words like a whip lashing on soft flesh.
I kept my eyes trained on Gretchen, whose small body was tucked into the corner of the window seat, out of reach, her gaze trained on something outside the window. Not even once had she turned to acknowledge any of us entering the room.
Setting the coffee cup of hot chocolate close enough to Gretchen’s hand to pick up when she so chose, I took the space on the window seat Diana had occupied a few moments earlier. Rose flashed me an irritated glance around Diana’s round body. The heartbeats of her triplets beat loud and strong. I focused on the curved belly one of her hands rubbed slowly in a circular motion.
“Very well,” Rose said, a polite smile plastered across her face while adamant displeasure echoed deeply in the tone of her voice. Rose walked to join Miles in the hallway.
Diana followed, stopping to flash me a proud smirk before closing the door behind them all, leaving Gretchen and me in an awkward silence.
“I’m sorry,” I said, keeping my voice low. The others could hear from the hallway, but it at least gave the illusion that I was trying to keep my words between the two of us.
She didn’t move. Her breathing continued at the same pace. Her cheek remained pressed against the glass of the window like a small child enthralled with…something, anything. It just wasn’t me, and by the gods, I wanted her enthralled with me. I wanted to touch her. Touch her and feel my magick swell and ignite between us. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before and reminded me of the things my father said he used to feel when he was near my mother.
Possessive, protective, and painfully aware when she was unhappy.
“I wish things could be different, Gretchen. Sometimes Fate is unkind.”
She jerked her head and looked right at me. Her broken yet fierce gaze gored me through and through. “Fuck Fate. You walked out.”
Her words held so much anger and pain and hopelessness. Had I done that to her? I wanted the spunky fun-loving woman who always needed to know everythin
g about everything back.
“Gretchen, I only did that to make it easier on both of us. We shouldn’t have kissed. We can’t be together. I was wrong to lead you to think otherwise by returning your affection.”
“So you have no affection for me?” Her voice was weaker, thinner this time.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Take your hot chocolate, and come back when you actually have something concrete to say, Alek.”
“I don’t want you to be miserable for the rest of your life. I have no idea if we’re genetically compatible. I can’t give you what you want. What we both want.”
“What’s that?”
“Children.”
“What if I just want you?” Her eyes widened, and she leaned backward, toward the windowpane again.
“You’d be lying to yourself and to me. I’ve heard you talk about your kids, about naming them, playing with them. You wouldn’t be happy with just me. Perhaps you would convince yourself of that for a while, but soon resentment would fester. Then there’s the entire issue of going against the Sentinel’s rules. And you can’t say fuck her rules, because we both know they are necessary or they wouldn’t exist. She’s not heartless.”
“Oh, no? What kind of race enchants a group of women, knowing it will take thousands of years and generations to fulfill a single prophecy, but meanwhile they have to live in hiding and with the fear of being stolen by a madman?”
The door behind us flew open, and Rose stomped in, preceded by a wave of magickal energy that nearly put my ass on the floor.
“You can be together on one condition, Gretchen.” Rose’s voice held an edge of promise mixed with manipulation. I’d heard this tone before.
“You would let us?” Hope bloomed in Gretchen’s tone, like a field of blossoms on an early summer day. “Be together?”
“You participate in the joinings. Get pregnant, and during the pregnancy you can be with Alek. That is my compromise, and the only one you’re going to get. Alek is wrong. He could give you what you want, but it is not allowed. A supernatural baby born with the abilities of the Sisters would be catastrophic to this world. That kind of power would corrupt even the kindest of hearts.”
My heart both broke and soared at Rose’s words. He could give you what you want. I could have a child with Gretchen. The rest didn’t matter. Rose was worrying about something nearly impossible. A child born in a loving family wouldn’t turn evil. Supernaturals existed all over this world with unbelievable powers, and they didn’t slaughter everyone in their path.
Gretchen jumped up from the window seat and took a step toward Rose. “You lied to me.”
Rose barely reacted, looking down at Gretchen’s fuming face. “It was necessary.”
“Necessary,” Gretchen bit out, grinding her teeth. “Now look what else is necessary. I just have to do the one thing I don’t want to do. Let a stranger fuck me—then I can be with Alek. So there’s no chance of my baby being his. How can you give me a choice like that?”
“That is the only choice you will be given. The second you are pregnant, I won’t stand in your or Alek’s way. The magick in the House will remain at a deficit until more children are conceived and born. However, if you choose to continue not participating in the joinings, Alek will be banned from the castle. Permanently.”
A snarl ripped from my chest. My hands fisted, and I struggled to contain my outrage.
Rose moved her harsh gaze from Gretchen to me. “Astrid’s visions are blurry, unclear. The House must be at a certain power level to have usable visions. Gretchen must conceive to add to the collective reservoir of power. Only then will the Oracle be able to pinpoint where the next Protector will be found.”
Fuck.
I could have Gretchen…but only if she was pregnant by another fucking man. And I’d never be allowed to have a family with Gretchen, ever.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Chapter 14
GRETCHEN
I stared at Rose, not able to believe what I’d just heard.
You can be with Alek.
But I had to get pregnant first. Gods, he’d never want me after that…
“That isn’t a choice.” My voice croaked like I’d swallowed a toad.
“Oh, but it is. It solves everyone’s problems,” she said, her tone sticky and sweet like honey for a fly trap. “The House gains strength and you two get to enjoy this short-lived affair.” Rose turned her hard glare to Alek. “Once her baby is born, you will not be allowed to be together until she is pregnant again. You will only be allowed to see each other unsupervised if she is carrying a child. No more unsupervised visits to the library. Do you understand?”
Alek nodded, and I sucked in a quick breath. I had to have sex with a stranger, get pregnant, and then we’d be allowed to see each other.
“There are those here that would and could give you a family, Alek. Those that wouldn’t die a few decades later.”
Others? My heart constricted, caught between what I’d assumed to be true and now what I knew to be true. Would he choose to be with someone else? Would Rose’s lure work?
“Gretchen is the one my heart and soul hungers for. You can’t force this on her.”
His words were a balm to my bloody soul. He wanted me. Just me.
The arguing continued, their voices booming through the room, each trying to speak louder than the last. Alek hated that I was going to be forced into the joinings, but it was just for a baby. Not for love. It was just to speed up the process of fulfilling the prophecy. Wouldn’t it be worth it? I could manage, right? Bile rose in my throat at the thought of any other man touching my body, being inside me. My stomach clenched and my hands slicked.
Miles and Diana joined the argument on my behalf, but Rose continued to reply that it was all my choice. Every detail, nothing was being forced. She’d simply given me the parameters for which I could ultimately have what I wanted.
Alek.
At the same time, I’d also heard what she said about Alek’s Gryphon. That we could have children, but wouldn’t be allowed to pursue that dream, and that even if somehow we had a child after the prophecy was fulfilled, I would still be human, with a human lifespan.
I don’t care. He was worth the sacrifice. I would spend every waking hour of my entire life with him…if he would still want me after.
“Nothing any of us say means anything unless Gretchen wants this to happen.” Diana’s voice cut through the chaos, effectively silencing the room. “Gretchen, would you like to speak?”
I met Diana’s chilly gaze across the room where she stood leaning against Miles. “I need to speak with Alek alone. Would you all leave us for a few moments?” The calmness of my voice surprised even me. I was going to go along with her cruel rules. Fuck, I’d go along with just about anything to have Alek in my life. The question in my mind was whether or not Alek would want me in his.
Rose nodded, agreeing with my request, and quickly left the room along with Miles and Diana. I sank back down onto the window seat, and he turned to face me, his rugged face as handsome as the first day I saw him in the library years ago. Hard lines. Straight mouth. Brown eyes that hinted at the pain and suffering he’d witnessed through his long life. And then there was the kindness, the beautiful sincerity about the way he looked at me. My mother had been the only other person who’d ever looked at me that way.
She’d caught the same fever several years ago that had stolen eleven women and children from the House. That illness had crippled the magick of the House. It had hit so suddenly and with such fury not even pixie dust had been able to bring them back.
Since that incident, Harrison had increased his magickal health screen to include illnesses other than STDs on the men coming into Sanctuary. Several of the men who came for the joinings that weekend were among the deceased, and one of them had been the carrier.
No one else in the town had been affected.
We were the only humans.
“What are you thi
nking about?”
“When Mom died.”
“Why?”
I looked down at my clasped hands. “It was the first time I had the vision of us. Right after I lost her, you came to see me. You brought me hot chocolate every day while she was sick and then for nearly two weeks after she passed. You hugged me after her burial ceremony, and I saw…us. Just for a second that first time. The vision lengthened as the years passed.” My voice rose and fell as the memories replayed in my head. “But it was enough to know, even back then, that you were destined to be very special to me.”
“You were always that inquisitive little girl I met in the library one day who just couldn’t stop asking questions—until you weren’t. And then I didn’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have the answer. I still don’t.”
“I didn’t mean to bring you into this. If Astrid hadn’t seen the vision when she grabbed me, I would’ve kept it to myself for the rest of my life. I know you already made your choice.” My voice fell with each word was like a nail in the door on having a life with Alek, any kind of life. Tears burned on my cheeks again.
His hand cupped my face and lifted my tear-filled gaze to meet his. A current of magick flowed from his hand into my body. His eyes were bright and compassionate, yet glowed with the same hunger I’d seen just before I’d kissed him.
I wanted to kiss him again. Just to have one more memory to carry with me through the misery that would be my life without Alek.
“I want you, Gretchen. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my entire life. My Gryphon wants you. He’s pissed at me for walking out of the library when I did.”
My heart expanded, and shivers flitted up and down my spine. He wants me. “But—” There was a “but” coming. I could feel it in the pit of my churning stomach.
My Guardian Gryphon (Sanctuary, Texas Book 5) Page 11