Time To Love Again

by Roseanne Dowell

  "Perfect!" She stood back and admired the room and turned down the lights with the dimmer switch.

  "See!" Emma danced around her. "Look how excited you are. Doesn't it feel good to be alive?"

  "Yes, it does," she answered aloud. "It feels very good." She twirled around the room and laughed, loving the feeling.

  She went to the kitchen and put a pot of water on to boil for the pasta. Already the delicious smells of garlic and onions mingled as the sauce heated. She tore lettuce leaves for the salad, still humming with the Christmas music that played in the background.

  Tonight she'd ask Stephen to Christmas dinner. She already had the menu planned in her head. A standing rib roast with parsley potatoes, spiced carrots, cranberry relish, a spinach salad and chocolate chiffon pie for dessert.

  The doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts. She wiped her hands, smoothed her hair, and hurried to answer it.

  "Sarah, come in. Where's your grandfather?"

  "He's coming, but first he has to get rid of Ms, Whoop de do. He told me to come ahead. Maybe he wants to kiss her goodbye."

  Rose noticed a sly grin on Sarah's face. She's toying with me. She's intentionally trying to make me jealous. Eight years old and already aware of too much. Rose ignored the comment, took Sarah's coat, and hung it in the closet. "Well, I'm glad you came alone. I wanted to talk to you."

  Sarah lowered her eyes.

  Poor thing was still a little afraid. Rose put her hand on Sarah's back. "Come on, you can help me finish the salad."

  "What do you want me to do?"

  Rose handed her the grater and a carrot. Just grate some of it into the salad bowl, while I slice the cucumber and tomato.

  "What did you want to talk to me about?" Sarah stopped grating the carrot and looked at Rose.

  "Well, first you have to promise not to tell your grandfather."

  Sarah smiled. "I promise."

  "I need to know if your grandfather has any hobbies. I'm looking for a special Christmas gift for him."

  "Oh, that's easy he likes to take pictures. He even has a room at his house where he makes pictures instead of taking them to the drug store. A dark place or something."

  "A darkroom?"

  "Yeah, that's it a dark room. He has all kinds of cameras and stuff." Sarah grated the carrot and smiled. "And don't worry I'm good at keeping secrets."

  "I thought you were." Rose finished slicing the cucumber and tomato and tossed the salad together. The doorbell rang again.

  "Just in time, would you let him in?"

  Sarah jumped off the stool.

  Rose set the food out, and Stephen joined her in the dining room. "Sorry I'm late. What can I do to help?"

  "If you'll bring that bowl of sauce, we can sit down."

  Stephen followed her into the dining room. "Wow, looks great." He put the bowl on the table and held her chair out. When she sat down, he leaned down and kissed her.

  The kiss caused her stomach to tumble. God, she liked this feeling.

  Sarah chattered about school through dinner. Christmas vacation was coming and she couldn't wait. Rose and Stephen listened to the happy chatter and stared at each other across the table. Just being near him took her breath away. She liked the way he smelled. Heck, she liked everything about him.

  Rose served spumoni ice cream for dessert. After she finished dishing it out, she broached the subject of Christmas dinner. "I'd like you and Sarah to come for Christmas dinner. I mean, that is if you don't have other plans." She held her breath and tried not to look at him.

  "Oh, can we, Grandpa, can we please?"

  Stephen laughed, sat back and rubbed his stomach. "Only if you let me to help cook. What's on the menu?"

  She told him what she had planned. "Yum, sounds good even after a big meal like this. Okay, I'll buy the roast, and we'll cook together, okay?"

  Sarah finished her ice cream, jumped off her chair and ran to Stephen. "Yippee, that means we get to come over early." She threw her arms around Stephen and kissed him.

  Stephen smiled and mouthed the words 'thank you' over the top of Sarah's head.

  Rose smiled back, warmed at the affection between Sarah and her grandfather. Her heart thumped in her chest, and she giggled inwardly with the happiness she felt at his acceptance. The thought of spending the whole day with Stephen excited her. And she liked the idea that he was going to help her cook. Something about being confined in the kitchen with him excited her. Maybe because she had good memories of being in the kitchen with him. That was the first place he kissed her.

  "Okay, why not come for brunch then, and we can have a later dinner, since you insist on helping cook."

  Sarah clapped her hands. "Oh, goody, goody, I can't wait."

  Stephen laughed and patted her cheeks. "You sure are excited. What have you two got planned?"

  "Sarah would you like to watch television while your grandfather and I clean up?" Rose asked before Sarah had a chance to answer.

  "Sure." Sarah skipped out of the room, a sly smile on her face.

  "I haven't seen her that excited since before her parents left." Stephen said. "Thank you. Whatever you said to her while she was here alone must have worked."

  "I didn't say anything to her. She helped me make the salad. I don't know why she's so excited, but I'm glad."

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  They carried the plates into the kitchen. Rose put them in the sink to ready them for the dishwasher. Stephen came up behind her and put his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. Tingles of electricity went through her. She leaned into him and held his hands in front of her, across her waist. She wanted to keep them there forever.

  Stephen turned her toward him and looked into her eyes. "I knew I could break through that reserve." Before she had a chance to answer, he brought his lips down on hers.

  She responded to the demands of his lips, crushing her own. It electrified her. She tightened her hands around his neck and let out a small moan. He moved his lips to her ear and then her neck, leaving her breathless.

  "Grandpa," Sarah called from the other room. "The television is messed up."

  "The satellite dish must have snow or ice on it." Rose hated to pull away.

  "I hate when that happens. I swear these dishes are more trouble than they're worth. It seems like every time it rains or snows they go out of whack." Stephen grabbed his coat and a broom and went outside.

  Rose ran her fingers through her hair. She didn't think anyone could make her feel that desirable again. She rinsed the dishes and loaded the dishwasher while Stephen fixed the television, grateful and frustrated at the interruption. This relationship was definitely one that could grow into something stronger. Did she want that? Was she ready for it?

  She thought yes.

  Stephen came back as she loaded the last dish.

  "Oh, sure, was that a set up or what, you come back when I'm finished." She joked, but glad she had time to pull herself together. "So, who was the old friend?" The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to think. Heat burned her cheeks, she turned away.

  Stephen laughed, smoothed the hair behind her ear and lifted her chin. "Do I detect a note of jealousy?"

  Rose closed her eyes. Why had she asked such a stupid question? It was none of her business. She hated sounding like a jealous fool.

  "Now you've done it." Emma wagged her finger at Rose. "You already know who she is, Sarah told you. Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good evening?"

  "Rose, look at me." Stephen lifted her chin. "She's a friend from a long time ago. She moved out of state and came back for a visit. She stopped by on her way home." Stephen cleared his throat, leaned down and brushed his lips across Rose's. "She's just a friend." He nuzzled her neck sending flares of heat through her.

  Rose's heart pounded against her chest, ready to explode. She relaxed against him. Just an old friend, relief flooded through her. And he didn't seem to mind the question.

  "Grandpa, t
he TV. again." Sarah's voice interrupted.

  After Stephen fixed the dish again, they joined Sarah in front of the TV. Rose felt so content– she didn't even know what they were watching.

  About an hour later, Stephen stood up. "It's time to go, Sarah," he said. "I hate to leave, but Sarah has a couple more days of school before Christmas vacation."

  Rose closed the door behind them and put her fingers to her lips. They still burned from his kiss. Tomorrow she'd go to the camera store and look for the special gift.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Rose woke early the next morning. She showered and made coffee, humming Christmas songs. Just a friend, her heart sang. She remembered the kiss and rubbed her lips. She was falling in love with this man like it or not. She smiled in the mirror.

  She liked it just fine. It had been so long since she'd been this happy. Even Francis had noticed the change in her voice last time he called.

  "So, Mother, he said, "I understand you're seeing quite a lot of Stephen, and he's even coming to Christmas dinner."

  Rose heard the teasing note in his voice. "Yes, as a matter of fact he's helping me cook it." She couldn't keep the smile out of her own. "How did you know, by the way?" She hadn't even had time to call Melinda to tell her and Louise didn't even know yet.

  "Uh..."

  "Francis." She drew out his name like she had and he did something wrong when he was little.

  "Okay, I talked to him. Anyway that's great, Mom. You can't imagine how happy we are for you."

  "You talked to him? How long has this been going on? I sense a conspiracy." She couldn't be mad. She was too happy to be mad. So Stephen and Francis had been talking. The very idea of it made her laugh.

  "Actually, since I left. Call it a conspiracy if you want. We became friends while I was there. I like him."

  "Good, because you can't imagine how happy I am. He's a special man. I think..." Dare she tell her son that she was in love with Stephen? How would he react to that? Sure, both Francis and Melinda insisted she find someone but how would they react if she told them she wanted a permanent relationship?

  "Is there something you want to tell me?" Francis asked.

  He knows me too well, Rose thought. Just like his father. She couldn't ever keep anything from Frank either. "No, not really." She couldn't tell him. Not yet. "I've got to go. Love you." Rose hung up before he could ask any more questions. First, she needed to know where she stood with Stephen. She didn't want to make a fool of herself. The kids would know soon enough if something developed out of this relationship.

  The doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts. She opened it. Stephen stood on the doorstep holding a bouquet of flowers.

  Rose moved aside so he could come in. "Stephen, I didn't expect you." She took the flowers and found a vase. Stephen came up behind her and kissed the back of her neck. "I missed you."

  Rose leaned against him as she arranged the flowers. "You just saw me last night."

  He turned her toward him and looked at her. Suddenly his lips came down on hers in a deep, lingering kiss.

  When he released her lips, Rose swore steam rose up from them. Disappointment filled her. She wanted to feel his lips on hers again. Crushing hers, taking her breath away. She wanted to fill herself with the taste of him. She put her hand to her mouth and turned away. What was the matter with her? She wanted this man. Needed him, yet she held back.

  "Why?" Emma's voice intruded? "Why hold back? Look at you. You want this man. Need him. Let go, live," Emma whispered.

  Stephen reached out and took her hand, turned her back toward him. He stood there stroking her hand, looking at her.

  Heat seared into her with his touch. The way he stroked her hand drove her wild with desire. How could this have happened so soon? She wasn't ready for this. The look in his eyes screamed desire. The way he looked her up and down then came to rest on her face. She tried to look away, but he had her mesmerized. She couldn't do this. Not yet, it was too soon.

  "Five years isn't too soon. Let go, Rose, enjoy it," Emma said.

  "I have to think," she mumbled.

  "Think about what? You're in love with him. What's wrong with that?" Emma shook her head.

  Suddenly she threw caution to the wind. She reached up and brushed the hair from his face, slid her hand down his cheek and the curve of his jaw, felt the bristle of his beard.

  Stephen stared at her, as if he were afraid to breathe. Waiting for her next move? She wasn't about to disappoint. She moved her fingers across his lips. Felt the whisper of a kiss. All the while her eyes never left his. Finally she moved closer to him. Lifted her face and pressed her lips against his, lightly at first, then harder. Her hands came up around his neck to the back of his head and pulled him down to her. She nibbled his bottom lip playfully. Saw the surprise in his eyes and almost laughed out loud.

  God, what was she doing?

  Whatever it was– it felt right. She wanted more.

  He nibbled back, and she smiled. His hand came up behind her head, the other brushed against her breast. She heard the sharp intake of her breath as his lips crushed hers.

  This was what she waited for. Wanted. Needed. God, she loved this man.

  The phone rang, breaking the spell.

  "Leave it," he mumbled against her lips.

  She ignored it until the answering machine came on. "Mom," she heard Melinda's voice. "Mom, are you there? Pick up."

  Rose pulled away and reached for the phone. Something about the sound of Melinda's voice scared her. "Honey, what is it? What's wrong?"

  "Hi, Mom, nothing's wrong. I just called to see how you were."

  Rose sank down into her chair and let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

  Stephen motioned that he was leaving. "I'll see you later," he mouthed.

  Rose wished he'd stay, but maybe it was for the best. No telling what would've happened if the phone hadn't rung.

  She didn't think she was quite ready for that. She wanted it, no point in denying it. But she hadn't made love to any other man than Frank. She wasn't sure she was ready to go to that level. Isn't that what the kids today called it? She knew kids lived together and had sex without marriage. She just wasn't sure she could.

  "Mom, are you there?" Melinda broke into her thoughts.

  So taken with Stephen, She had forgotten she was on the phone.

  "Huh, oh, yes. I'm here." She watched Stephen walk across the yard, and her heart did a flip. God, she loved that man. "So what's going on?" Rose asked her daughter.

  "Nothing, I just talked to Francis. I hear your neighbor is coming to Christmas dinner?"

  "Can't keep a secret in this family, can you?" Rose teased. "Yes, Stephen and his granddaughter are coming to Christmas dinner."

  "So you had a reason for refusing our invitation?" Melinda teased. "Good, I'm glad you're not going to be alone. We really were worried about you, you know."

  "Yes, dear, I know. I'm glad I'm not going to be alone either."

  "Melinda, are you sure everything is all right?" She didn't sound right . Like she had been crying or something.

  "Yeah, Mom, I'm fine. I mean..."

  Rose waited for Melinda to go on. "Talk to me, Melinda, what is it?"

  "It's Harold, he has to have surgery."

  "Surgery for what?"

  "Kidney stones. They tried breaking them up but it didn't work. Can you come, Mom? I'm scared."

  Rose leaned against the counter. Why, just when life began to get better. "Of course, I'll come. When, Melinda?"

  "He's scheduled for Thursday."

  "Thursday, that's the day after tomorrow. I'll have to see if I can get a flight."

  "I already checked. You can catch a flight tomorrow morning at nine o'clock."

  "I'll call for my reservation now."

  "Thanks, Mom. I love you."

  "I love you, too. See you in a couple of days." Rose hung up and looked for the phone book. She had to call the airport. God, she hated to fl
y. But Melinda needed her. Surgery of any kind was always serious. She picked up the phone and made her reservation. Now she had to pack. Then she had to call Stephen. Just when things were going so well with them.

  Maybe it was for the best. She needed some space. Things were moving too fast. She wasn't quite ready for the next step. She felt foolish but the thought of sleeping with Stephen embarrassed her. The only other man she slept with was Frank. How would she act? Somehow she couldn't picture it. She and Frank knew what to do, how to do it. They had years of experience. She knew what turned him on and vice versa. She'd feel clumsy. Oh, Lord, what made her think of that? She put the thought from her mind and pulled her suitcase down from the attic.