The Desires of a Countess
Page 11
“What was that?”
She lifted her eyes with a purse of her lips. Harriet had heard her perfectly well.
“I said it was wonderful. With Henry there was fear and pain and ultimately… nothingness.”
Harriet flinched and Ginny rushed to continue.
“But last night… well, I’ve never felt anything like it. Simon was tender and passionate and it left me feeling…” She searched for a word. “Magnificent. Are you happy now?”
Harriet’s expectant gaze softened to a smile. “It was always like that for me with Richard. I’m glad you finally felt the same.”
“Before Simon… Right before he… He said something to me in a foreign language.” Ginny frowned at the memory. “I didn’t understand it, but it still affected me.”
“Do you remember what it was?” Harriet asked.
She shook her head. “No. How is that possible, to be affected by words you don’t even understand?”
“Perhaps it was the way he said it? Or perhaps the meaning was so primal that you didn’t need to understand it with your mind.” She arched an eyebrow. “Your body understood.”
Ginny could only shiver in response. Perhaps. But she still wanted to know what those words meant.
Harriet’s expression fell a fraction. “But I don’t understand why making love would make Simon want to force you to London.”
A stab of guilt shot through her heart. That was her doing, wasn’t it? Her words, her rejection and blame had made him offer London as a solution. Her manipulation.
She hated herself for it.
“Because I-I used our making love as a reason to ask him to leave Westdale. But Simon feels that his departure would be deserting his duty to Jack. So he offered going to London as an alternative. That way we won’t be in such close quarters, but he can continue to perform his duty. And he believes my return to Society and seeing my family will somehow help my son.”
To her surprise, Harriet tilted her head back and let out a peal of laughter.
“It isn’t funny!”
“But it is.” Harriet shook her head. “I told you manipulating him would only backfire and cause more problems for you.”
“Well, you were right.”
With a sigh, Ginny covered her face again. This entire situation was spiraling more and more out of control. Her life had been orderly before Simon had arrived. In the months since Henry’s death, her nightmares and fears had begun to subside. She’d started to hope for a future for her son and herself that only she would control.
But in the span of a few weeks, Simon had crashed into her world, bringing doubts and new feelings to her heart and mind.
Worse, Robert had somehow gotten it into his head to investigate Henry’s death. Everything could easily collapse around her. Yet she felt… excited. She anticipated her time with Simon as much as she was apprehensive about its consequences.
“So tell me this.” Harriet interrupted Ginny’s thoughts by placing a soft hand on her forearm. “Do you want what happened between you to ever happen again? If Simon came to you tonight and asked you to join him in his bed, would you go?”
Ginny swallowed hard as heat flooded her face. Just the thought of that made her knees go weak. She could almost picture the scenario exactly, and it made an ache begin in her very core.
“Yes.” Her voice broke and it took a moment for her regain her composure. “I don’t think I could stop myself. Simon is like an opiate. I come near him and I can’t change the desire I feel. It was all I could do to keep from touching him this afternoon, even when I was furious with him for trying to force me to London.” She shook her head. “What the hell should I do, Harriet? Tell me, because I don’t know.”
Her friend smiled. “Take the passion. Not many people get a chance at love and desire.”
Ginny shook her head vigorously. “But it is so complicated with Simon.”
“Because he’s Henry’s cousin?”
“Yes. But also because of-” She stopped. “Because of what I did. Because I can’t have a future with him. Or any other man.”
Harriet arched an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t want one.”
Ginny frowned. She didn’t. So why had she brought such an idea up, especially when it came to Simon? She couldn’t think about that anymore. Obviously her wantonness had clouded her mind. Just one more reason to avoid the man as much as possible.
“Will you come with us to London?” She turned pleading eyes on her friend. “You can stay in my home with me and Jack. Perhaps your presence will keep me from doing anything more foolish than I already have.”
With a smile, Harriet leaned over and gave her a brief hug. “Of course I’ll come with you. If you need me, you know I’ll be there.” She released her. “And if you don’t want to do any more damage, I have another suggestion.”
Ginny nodded. “Please.”
“Let Simon have his way this time without a fight.”
Ginny’s shoulders sagged even as she nodded. Suddenly she felt very tired.
“I suppose it won’t hurt, especially since he isn’t giving me much of a choice. I’ll find a way to stay away from my family and the ton. And maybe I can even convince Robert to halt his investigation while I’m gone.”
Harriet’s lips thinned at the mention of the other man. “I still don’t think you should trust Robert.”
Ginny sighed as she rubbed her forehead with one hand. “I don’t know who to trust or what to believe anymore. The only thing I’m completely sure of is that I’m confused.”
“And that you still want Simon.” Her friend’s voice was quiet and solemn.
Ginny turned away to look at the low fire. “Yes. And that I want Simon.”
***
Simon opened the door to the house and peered around. The foyer was strangely quiet. Not a servant scrubbed a floor or arranged flowers, and the ever-present Ingram didn’t appear to hustle him away, even after a few long moments.
The quiet made him nervous, just as Ginny’s silence had been making him nervous for a day and a half. After her angry reaction to his order, he had been prepared for her to come to him with threats, accusations or even bribes. He’d even readied several speeches in response. One was very sweet and understanding. Another was harsh and no-nonsense. A third was angry.
But all his planning had been for nothing. She hadn’t come. He was beginning to get suspicious. The woman had put up one hell of a fight only to surrender.
God, surrender. Just like she had in the office.
No. He wasn’t going to relive those heated memories again. How many times was it already? Too many, and he’d come to the house for business, not pleasure.
With a sigh, he took the stairs two by two. Somewhere in this house, Virginia Blanchard hid and he intended to find her and discover what plot she was hatching against him.
He heard her before he saw her. Her laugh, to be more specific. It was a sound he’d never heard before and it struck a place deep within him. It rose above the chatter of a few other female voices just as he turned in the direction of her chamber.
When he rounded the corner and had a clear line of vision into the open door, he saw Ginny surrounded by trunks. Three maids folded and sorted her wardrobe. All the women seemed to be talking at once and would dissolve into giggles from time to time. Including Ginny. He’d never seen her looking so young, so carefree. Her years of unhappiness with his cousin had melted from her eyes and her face.
Yes, she still wore black. Apparently that statement was one she chose to keep making whether he was in the room with her or not, but the youthful grin kept her from looking like a jaded widow. No, she looked like the sensual woman he had ravished on a desk.
With an uncomfortable shuffle of his feet, Simon cleared his throat. Almost immediately the bustling and chatter ceased as four pairs of female eyes turned toward him. Ginny drew back with a small gasp. Her face paled at his intrusion and the wall of ice crashed down between them again.
The women murmured their acquiescence and one by one, filed from the room. Simon wasn’t blind to the flirtatious looks two of the girls shot him as they left, but he didn’t register any feeling associated with the stares. He only had eyes for Ginny, a thought more terrifying than anything else. Hadn’t he tried so hard to convince himself that he would have wanted any willing woman?
Taking a step inside, he tapped the door shut behind him. He didn’t want the house to hear whatever argument they were about to have. This was her sitting room, so he felt safe enough for privacy. There wasn’t a bed.
Of course, there hadn’t been a bed in Henry’s office, either and that hadn’t made much of a difference.
With his head spinning, Simon decided to get right to the point before his mind went too far afield.
“I’m a little surprised you haven’t come to argue with me about London.”
She gripped one hand into a fist at her side, but her serene expression didn’t change. “Do you want to argue with me?”
He pondered that question for a moment. Actually, he’d often enjoyed their little war of words. She was a sharp woman, and one who didn’t let much slip by her. He found it a refreshing challenge to spar with her. But no, arguing was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment.
“No, I don’t want to fight. I just wonder why the change of attitude?”
Her answer was to shrug one shoulder, but he caught her eyes make a quick sweep of his body from head to toe. It sent a shock of heat through him that made standing near her all the more difficult.
He swallowed hard, because when he met her eyes, he saw how hazy with passion and dilated they were.
“What are you thinking when you look at me that way?” he asked as he took a step toward her.
She drew in a sudden sharp breath and her hand curled around the fabric of her dress. It was abundantly clear what her answer was. She’d been thinking the exact same thing he had. Of sex and sin. It drove him over the edge.
In two steps, he stood inches from her. She stared up at him with wide eyes, but didn’t move away. In fact, her body swayed slowly in his direction. He caught her in his arms to press his lips against hers.
Instantly she responded and they were right back in the place where they’d been in the office. Nothing else mattered except for that moment and the out-of-control passion that flared between them once again. When she clutched at his back and her fingernails dragged across the fabric of his shirt, any attempt he’d made to maintain control evaporated.
He pressed her back until she sank down on the ottoman by the window. Immediately she dragged him down on top of her to continue their passionate kiss. As she slid her mouth down his jaw and to his throat, Simon cupped her breast.
Immediately she rose up to meet his palm. Any way he touched her seemed to light a fire and she craved it, no matter how many calm ways she’d convinced herself she could avoid this desire.
“Please,” she panted, but was unable to say more. She didn’t know how to ask for what she wanted.
He smiled wolfishly as he inched up her skirt. She cursed the fact that this time she was wearing so many layers. It would take forever to get out of her gown, stockings and underthings.
His rough hands grazed the back of her knee and Ginny bucked up. When had that spot become so sensitive? Or the inside of her thigh? One touch from him and they were both sending tingles of pleasure to the very core where she longed to feel Simon’s hands and the thick erection that pressed against her through his trousers.
Struggling against the weight of him, she managed to wedge a hand between their bodies until she came in contract with the hot length of him. Immediately he let out a strangled groan that she caught with her mouth.
Suddenly, Simon let out a quiet curse and shoved himself off her. As he clamored back to his feet, Ginny stared up at him, her body quaking with unfulfilled need.
“What? Where are you—?” She cursed herself for begging but her frustration was at a peak. “Simon?”
He shook his head as he fastened the buttons of his shirt and shoved the corner she’d dragged out back into the waist of his trousers.
“No. You told me what you wanted, and I agreed with you.” His green-blue eyes narrowed. “I won’t have you use the way I feel, then tell me later that I took advantage. If you want me, you’ll have to come to me.”
Ginny blinked at him as she struggled to sit up. He was going to leave? Pull away just when she had thrown her doubts to the wind? But of course, she deserved it. When she used his feelings against him, she’d done exactly what he accused her of.
She opened her mouth to say something, though she wasn’t sure what. All she knew was that she needed some way to explain to him. Before she could speak, the door behind him flew open and Robert Dennison stalked into her room with Ingram half a step behind.
With a yelp of surprise, Ginny surged to her feet and smoothed her dress.
“Mr. Dennison, you cannot just barge into my lady’s private chambers,” her protective butler was snapping out, but Robert strode in anyway.
His dark eyes narrowed when his gaze locked on Simon then slowly slid to her. She tucked an errant curl back into the mess of her bun and tried a weak smile.
Simon pivoted and the look he gave Robert would have frozen Ginny’s blood cold if he’d sent it in her direction. His face twisted with anger and whatever frustration remained in his blood and his body.
“Don’t you know how to be announced?” he snapped as he took a menacing step toward Robert.
But instead of retreating back, Robert leapt forward until the two men came practically nose-to-nose. “I’m a friend of the family, Webber. What right do you have to be in Virginia’s private chambers?”
“That’s between her ladyship and me.” Simon’s voice was low and furious.
Ginny hurried forward. Robert had already balled his hand into a fist and Simon looked willing and able to accept any challenge the other man might make. The last thing she needed was a brawl in her chambers. Her day had been trying enough already.
She wedged herself between the two men. “You are worse than schoolchildren. Honestly, you’re grown men.” The two continued to glare at each other, but Simon slowly backed away a step. She glanced over at her butler. “Ingram, you may go.”
The older man looked unsure and ready to drag both men out by their ears. “Are you certain, my lady?”
“Yes, thank you.”
She smiled as her butler backed out the door. She trusted Ingram and the rest of her staff implicitly, but the last thing she needed was for them to begin gossiping about the two men who’d fought over her in her bedroom. Lord knew they had enough to chatter about when they went below-stairs.
Once the door shut, the smile fell from her face. She turned to Simon first since he seemed more likely to step down if she asked him. And she was still reeling from his rejection.
“Mr. Webber, you and I have said everything we need to for now.” Their eyes met and she was barely able to hold his gaze. Her voice dropped a level. “Please, just go.”
Robert let out a soft noise of triumph and his eyes lit up with glee. The look he shot Simon made Ginny wonder if she had truly averted that fistfight, but thankfully Simon didn’t rise to Robert’s bait. Instead, his mouth thinned into a frown but he kept his eyes on her.
“Very well, my lady. But remember what we discussed.”
She shivered. That she’d have to make the first move if she wanted him again? How she could forget? She had no doubt that would be all she thought about the whole way to London.
“I remember perfectly well,
” she said, filling her tone with icy distain to cover her own spiraling emotions.
Simon glared at Robert, then turned on his heel and left the room. Once he had gone, Ginny could breathe for the first time since he’d appeared in the doorway. Yet she also felt a curious sense of loss.
Pushing that aside, she turned to Robert. Though his face had lost some of its tension, there was a look about him that made her nervous. What had Harriet said? That she shouldn’t trust the man?
She motioned to the doorway. “Why don’t we retire to the parlor?”
“Aren’t you entertaining in your bedroom now, Virginia?” he sneered.
Ginny froze. Though she and Simon had both looked disheveled, they hadn’t been locked in an embrace. And more to the point, it was none of this man’s business even if they were. She was a widow, not a blushing debutante. If she wished to entertain the entire Royal Navy in her boudoir that was her affair, certainly not Robert Dennison’s concern.
“I don’t like your implication.”
His face softened and the bitter jealousy that had been so clear in his eyes the moment before was covered under an apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry.” He offered her his arm. She hesitated, then took it and he led her to the parlor. “I don’t like Webber and I took my emotions out on you. I shouldn’t have spoken to you in such an abominable fashion. Please forgive me.”
As they entered the parlor, Ginny released his arm and paced to the fire. She didn’t want to reveal too much.
“Don’t concern yourself about Simon. I can handle him.” Her mind flitted to images of him pinning her down on the ottoman, his hands creating waves of pleasure she could easily be swept away by.
Was that handling him?
Robert’s eyes narrowed as he took a step toward her. “He’s obviously upset you. I could easily take care of him for you.”