Carat Capers

by Dan Kelly

  Laughing he says, “Okay, okay, I’ll behave. Boy, you sure know how to take the fun out of something.”

  Hanging up Mickey’s thinking, “The person who came up with gift cards is definitely one of my heroes and should be enshrined somewhere. If it wasn’t for him/her, bachelors would have to fight the crazy Christmas shopping crowds, boggle the wrapping challenge and deal with the disappointed who have to stand in the exchange lines at the stores because the size was wrong, the color clashed with whatever, they already had one or they thought you had to be drunk to spend good money on what you gave them.”

  Chuckling to himself, he returns to the drudgery of completing his paperwork and somehow the task isn’t bothering him as much as it was.

  Chapter 70

  When Mickey, Cheryl and Giuseppe arrive at the senior Morretti’s out on Long Island, the ground is covered with a blanket of the whitest snow and big flakes are still coming down heavily. Christmas lights of all shapes, sizes and colors people have hung on every available tree and surface outside are glistening like a kaleidoscope and there’s a full moon hanging in the sky to put the finishing touches on the whole panorama. It’s a virtual Christmas card and it’s beautiful.

  The Morretti house is already filling up with family and friends and it’s only five o’clock and people are still arriving. Laughter is spilling out of every room and Mrs. Morretti has placed goodies to munch on all over the house and bowls of eggnog and punch to drink on the dining room table. In the den, Mr. Morretti has set up his bar for those who want a beer or something a little stronger to drink.

  Mickey knows a lot of the people, but there are some new faces the names of which he’s going to forget as soon as he hears them. As they walk out on to the enclosed and heated back porch that spans the entire width of the house which his dad and uncle just built this past summer Mickey is surprised to see Vicki Valance talking with his mom. He almost doesn’t recognize her because he’s never seen her all decked out like she is tonight. She’s wearing a dark green sequined cocktail dress with a low scooped neck, green patent leather high heels and an emerald and diamond necklace that she didn’t pick up at any Costco that’s for sure. The outfit shows off her curves in a very feminine yet ladylike way and the color is the perfect complement to her gorgeous long, wavy, auburn hair. From the moment he first met her he thought she was pretty, but until this moment he never realized how beautiful she really is.

  Latching on to his sister’s hand he says, “Why didn’t you tell me you invited Vicki and Chuck to joins us tonight?”

  “Oh, I just forgot. I thought you’d enjoy her company and forget Feldman for a while. I had to call her to get some information on the gems that were stolen from her and the subject of Christmas came up. I asked her what her plans were for Christmas Eve and she said she had none as her family is spread all over the country and she usually spends Christmas Eve on the phone wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. I thought that was sad, so I invited her to joins us tonight and she accepted. Do you have a problem with that?”

  “No, not at all, but where’s Chuck? I think he’s going to have something to say about me spending too much time with his date.”

  “Oh, that’s something else I forgot to tell you about. At first I invited both of them, assuming they were an item like you told me, but I quickly found out that it’s only you that thinks they’re an item. She readily admitted that at first they were infatuated with each other, but as they got to know each other better they concluded it was more her net worth that he was infatuated with than her as a person. A big point in his favor and why they are going to remain friends is he openly admitted that she was probably right.”

  “Sis, despite the innocence you’re shrouding in forgetfulness, I smell the odor of skullduggery oozing from every one of your pores.”

  “Oh, come off it, Mickey. You’re glad she’s here and unattached. I saw the way you looked at her at Luigi’s and I see the way you’re looking at her now. You’ve got an open field ahead of you, Morretti. Are you going for the touchdown or are you going to fumble the ball out of bounds? ”

  Looking over at Giuseppe who’s doing his best not to get involved in the exchange Mickey says “Are you sure you want to get mixed up with a conniver like her?”

  Mickey doesn’t wait for an answer because he’s already decided to go for the touchdown. As he approaches, Vicki and his mom are finishing up with whatever they were talking about and his mom says, “Your timing is perfect. I’ve got to check on things in the kitchen. Vicki and I have been getting acquainted and I must say she’s added a lot of delight to my evening.”

  As his mom dashes off to attend to her hosting chores Mickey says, “Wow, you’ve accomplished the impossible. Mom is usually shy and somewhat cool around people she doesn’t know.”

  “She’s wonderful, Mickey, so full of energy and cheerfulness and she knows a lot about a lot of different things and I bet she’s broken a heart or two when she was playing the dating game.”

  “She’s definitely one of a kind in my book. She’s stands out in a lot of ways. And speaking of standing out, you look like one of those movie stars, beautiful and captivating in that outfit and that necklace has to be a family heirloom. It too is absolutely out of this world beautiful.”

  “Well, well, where have you been hiding this Mickey Morretti? You should let him out more often.”

  Laughing, they start to walk around so Mickey can introduce her to all of his relatives and they can be introduced to the people he’s never met before.

  Cheryl, who’s been watching her brother through the window in the den, turns to Giuseppe and says, “He’s entered the red zone and the goal line is fast approaching. Man, sometimes it really pays off to be a meddling sister.”

  Seeing the happy look on Cheryl’s face Giuseppe says, “I think Mickey’s a very lucky guy to have a meddling sister like you. What would I have to do to get you to meddle with me?”

  Looking at Giuseppe with the most mischievous look she can muster she says, “Oh, Giuseppe, you have no idea about what you just put in motion.” Smiling she adds, “It’s a damn good thing you’re Italian or you wouldn’t stand a chance of surviving.”

  Seeing the disconcerted look on his face, she bursts out laughing and starts to meddle with him with a kiss. He’s a goner. He just doesn’t know it yet.

  Around seven, Mickey’s buddy Tony Appecelli calls him and Mickey’s thinking, “I don’t believe this. Some nut has decided to crack and is shooting up the city and I’m going to have to go back to the precinct. That’s the only reason Tony would be calling me. We already wished each other a Merry Christmas.”

  “Hey, Mickey, have you started to exchange gifts yet?”

  “Not yet. That won’t start until Santa shows up for the little ones. That usually happens around eight. You know that. You’re usually the one that plays Santa. I’m sorry you had to work tonight. I haven’t any idea whom mom and dad talked into donning the costume this year. So what’s up? You didn’t call because you want me to open your gifts. That’s a task you’d never give to anyone. You’re one of those weirdos who thinks anticipation is greater than realization.”

  “If you’re not sitting down, do so because the gift I’m about to give you is going to floor you.”

  “Okay, you’ve set me up for whatever you’re up to. Ditch the theatrics and get on with it.”

  “Felix Feldman will be stealing no more precious gems. I just got a call from some Mexican cop in Mexico City. Your boy managed to cover over a thousand miles without getting into any trouble, but then he found more than he could handle. You’re not going to believe what I’m about to tell you.”

  “Tony, if you don’t get to the point I’m going to open all your gifts and give them to Sally to play with.” Sally is Mickey’s three year old next door neighbor who breaks Fischer Price Toys without blinking an eye. They’re supposed to be child proof and even adult proof without grownup tools.

  “Okay, okay. I now
have a greater appreciation of irony. Feldman was shot and killed during a jewelry store robbery. He was looking in the window when the shooting started inside the store and a stray bullet came through the window and caught him right between the eyes. If that isn’t an appropriate ending for the man, I can’t imagine what would be. I thought he’d buy it during a shootout with us good guys.

  “When the Mexican Federales searched his body they found two American passports in different names and other ID, so they called the FBI and the FBI had them email copies of the passport pictures to them. When the FBI saw the pictures they told the Federales to call you.”

  Mickey is stunned. Tony was right. He should have sat down. “Thanks, Tony. You sure do know how to wrap a gift. I’ll see you tomorrow, but I’m warning you now. Compared to yours, mine is really a loser.”

  “At the very least, I hope it’s a gift card from some other store besides Home Depot this year. I’m running out of room for tools I’ve bought that I have no idea how to use.”

  Laughing, Mickey hangs up feeling like a giant weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Seeing him laughing Vicki walks over to him and asks, “What’s tickling your funny bone?”

  Mickey tells her about Tony’s call and her emotional reaction is a mixture of astonishment, satisfaction that the man got what was coming to him and a surprisingly happy feeling knowing that Mickey’s Christmas has just been made a lot merrier. “Hmm, me and a cop. Diamonds and doughnuts. What a combo that is. It’s going to be interesting watching my family trying to swallow this. It’s definitely not going to be a one gulp experience.”

  Vicki bursts out laughing and it’s now Mickey’s turn to ask what’s so funny? “Life, Mickey, at times life can be hilarious.”