Deadly Mistake (Deadly Series Book 5)

by K. L. Humphreys

  I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant as were your grandparents, I couldn’t wait to hold you in my arms and sing you lullabies. One day changed the rest of our lives, my parents died in a plane crash and I was the sole guardian of my little sister. Your auntie is the best person I know, she’s the most loving and generous woman in this world and I honestly don’t know how she’s put up with me all these years.

  When our parents died, my world as I knew it came crashing down. I knew that I couldn’t raise both you and Hailey alone, I did the only thing I could think off, I gave you up. I’m sorry, so damn sorry! I wish I hadn’t, I wish I had raised you both, I wish I had been there when you got your first tooth. When you smiled, when you laughed. I’m sorry, I know I keep saying it, but it’s true, if I could change it I would do so in a heartbeat.

  The day you were born is ingrained in my heart for the rest of time, for those few moments I got to hold you were the best moments of my life. I still remember everything. Your little pink hat, your cute button nose, you were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I counted your fingers and toes twice, kissing each one as I did so. For those few moments, my life was perfect. I had everything I ever wanted. I had somebody to love and someone that would love me. Giving you away was the worst decision I have ever made, God, it hurt and I’ve regretted it since the moment it happened.

  I love you with all my heart and I understand if you hate me for giving you away; I hate myself for it. I just hope that one day you can forgive me.

  All my love,

  Mom.

  I put the letter back into the envelope and place it back on her dresser. God, I could feel her pain in every word she wrote. Knowing how much she hurt from giving Nicole up kills me, it makes my heart scream out in pain. I turn onto my side and cuddle her teddy to me as I cry, I cry my heart out.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Hailey

  My cell vibrates for what is the fifteenth time since last night. I’m so drained that I cannot move, I physically can’t. I tried to go to sleep but every time I closed my eyes all I saw was Maddie bleeding out on the floor. I’m so tired and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to sleep again. Since Maddie died, Scott has slept beside me every night, I have felt safe encased in his arms but last night I was alone and had no one to fend off those nightmares and memories.

  My cell keeps buzzing and I’m wondering who the hell it is, can’t they just leave me alone for one day? I turn over on the bed and face the wall, Maddie’s teddy bear still in my arms. It’s the only thing I have left and I can’t bear to put it down. The buzzing stops and I close my eyes hoping that I can get some sleep. I tightly close them hoping that will stop the images, it doesn’t work, instead I see the vivid image of Maddie lying on the cold hard floor.

  “I’m so sorry Maddie, I’m so damn sorry.” I cry as I try and stop the bleeding, trying to keep her alive, hoping this time the outcome will be different.

  “Don’t be sorry, Hailey Wailey, you never did this. You have been the only light in my darkness, I’m so fucking sorry for the way I treated you.” She reaches out and touches my face before taking my hand.

  “I understand now, I’m sorry that I never helped you. You should have told me. I would have helped you get Nicole back and we could have given her a happy home just as mom and dad gave us and you gave me.” I don’t think I can ever tell her how sorry I am, how sorry that I got her mixed up in my mess and she’s the one that paid dearly for my mistake.

  “You’ll give her a home and I know you Hails, you’ll go out of your way to make it the most perfect home for her. One that she’ll be so happy in.”

  I’m crying again now; her kindness is my undoing. “Mads, what am I going to do without you?” I honestly don’t know how I’m going to continue on without her.

  “You’re going to be the amazing woman I’ve watched grow. You’re going to marry Scott, let’s face it, you belong together and always have. Don’t let him get away this time. You need him, he makes you happy and that’s all that I’ve ever wanted for you, that’s all mom and dad wanted for us. To be happy.” her hand slowly pulling away, her eyelids keep fluttering, I’m going to lose her all over again. “Please be happy.”

  “What about you? You were never happy, that’s not fair, you deserved happiness.” I scream, this isn’t fair, she can’t leave me again. I need her, I’m not ready for her to go.

  “I had happiness, every time I saw you. Every time you spoke, happiness surrounded me but the time I was truly happy was when I held Nicole in my arms. That was truly blissful, just for those brief moments. Holding her in my arms felt as though my world had a purpose. I’ve had my happiness, now it’s your turn.” Her words barely a whisper, they’re haunting.

  “Please don’t leave me.” I beg with every fiber of my being. I hold onto her hand so tightly that I may just break it. Anything to keep her here with me.

  “I’m so sorry Hailey Wailey, but I have to. Just stay safe, Eric hasn’t finished with you yet. Remember to have your gun close by at all times.” She’s warning me, “I love you so much,” Her eyelids flutter one last time and that pain that I felt yesterday is back in full force. God, how do people survive losing someone they love. I scream, letting all the rage and pain out.

  “Hailey, baby…” I know that voice, it cuts through my painful outburst. “Hailey… Please…” Why does he sound upset? “Wake up!”

  My eyes shoot open and I see Scott looking over me, his eyes hold pain and worry. “Hailey…” He whispers, why does everyone have to whisper? “God, what happened?” His voice raspy as he takes a seat beside me on the bed.

  “I had a bad dream.”

  “God, Hailey, I came into the house and I heard you screaming. I thought something happened.” He reaches across and takes my hand, slowly caressing it, “What was the nightmare about?”

  “Maddie dying, why did she have to die Scott?” I ask him the question that I’m unable to find the answer to. The question that I need the answer too.

  “I don’t know Hailey, God, I wish I could take this pain away from you. I’d do anything to stop you hurting, anything in this world to make you smile. What can I do Hailey? Tell me what you need.”

  I sigh as I look at him, what I need, God, so many things… “I’m so tired, I want to sleep without seeing her lying on the ground. I want to feel as though I’m able to breathe without having this weight on top of me. I want to be able to get up out of this bed without feeling as though I have no energy. I want to be me again.”

  “Okay, one step at a time.” He gets out of the bed and lifts me as though I weigh no more than a bag of sugar. I still have Maddie’s teddy bear in my arms. I lean my head against his shoulder as he walks us out of Maddie’s room and into my own room. He gently lays me on my bed and climbs into the bed beside me, cocooning me in his arms. “How is that?”

  “Perfect.” I tell him truthfully, “Scott?”

  “Hmm,” He sounds sleepy, thought I was the one that was meant to sleep? “Everything okay?”

  “Do you think we belong together?”

  He lets out a bark type laugh, one that makes my body tingle. His breath on my neck sends shivers down my spine.

  “Hailey, you’ve been mine since your prom night.”

  I groan, prom night. I hate that night. God, it was a total clusterfuck. “Maddie was ready to kill you that night.” I remember just before I went to bed, she told me that Scott was lucky that he was nowhere near her because she wanted to neuter him. That was the thing about her, she would always say stupid shit, but it would always cheer me up.

  “Yeah, she went crazy the next time she saw me. She made no sense whatsoever, she told me that I had ruined your life, I thought it was a bit extreme. Telling me you’ll never be the same again.”

  I suck in a deep breath, she never said she had spoken to him about it. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry, I was an ass.” He’s told me before that he’s sorry for how thing
s went down, “What did she mean that you’d never be the same.”

  “It doesn’t matter, it happened a long time ago.” I don’t want to talk about this, it’s just stupid dredging up the past when it’s not going to change it.

  “Hailey, come on, we should be able to talk about anything.” He sounds disappointed, is it because I won’t say anything? “What happened?”

  “I lost my virginity that night. I was stupid and angry and I got drunk. That's what she meant and she really shouldn’t have said anything.” I try and sound as casual as I can, but there’s no fooling Scott.

  “Fuck, Hailey. Shit.” He’s at a loss for words, that’s something that you don’t see very often if ever. “Hailey, I was an asshole, I don’t know what to say.”

  “There’s nothing to say. It’s in the past and the past stays exactly where it is.” It comes across harsher than I intended but there’s nothing worse than talking about shit that has no bearing on my life.

  He nods, “So do you believe we’re ‘meant to be’?” the way he says it is almost as if he doesn’t believe that anyone is meant to be.

  I have watched four people that I love fall head over heels with someone who is obviously their match in so many ways. Seeing them fall one by one, each of them happy gave me hope. Hope that someday the person I loved the most would be my soul mate, my partner in crime. “Yes, I’ve loved you since I was a teenager, I believed that we were going to grow old together.”

  He pulls me close to him, “Thank fuck for that, we’re going to grow old together. There’s no stopping us.” He kisses my forehead and we just lie holding each other.

  There’s something I want to talk to him about but I’m not sure how he’s going to take it, how anyone will take it. “Maddie asked me something before she died, something that I really want to do.”

  “What is it?” He’s alert his tone cautious.

  “She asked me if I would look after Nicole. I’ve thought about it, God, I’ve thought of nothing else since. I really want her to be in my life, I want her to have a family, her family. Scott, I want her to live with me.” Saying it out loud is like a weight has lifted off me.

  “Okay, what do you need?” That’s it, no trying to talk me out of it, just one hundred percent support.

  “I don’t know, I have no idea where to even start. Maddie had found Nicole the night she died, God, she was so happy. She was finally getting her daughter back. She’s in foster care, her adoptive parents died.” I haven’t gone through any of Maddie’s papers. I know that I really should but I can’t bring myself to do it.

  “I’ll get the guys on it. Want to bring them all in? The more people we have the better chance we have at getting it through the system quicker.” God, I love this man, no hesitations in bringing the rest of the team in.

  “Um, there’s something you need to know.” God, this shouldn’t even be an issue but I know that it is. It was for Maddie and I’d say it will be for the others too.

  “Whatever it is, we’ll work through it.” Ah, he’s killing me.

  “Nicole’s father. He may be an issue.”

  “Why? Is he going to go for custody?” The anger in his voice is something unexpected but it’s about to get worse.

  “No, he’s dead, I mean, he may be an issue for everyone else. Nicole’s dad is David Masters.” Saying his name out loud makes me cringe, my niece's father is a murdering rapist.

  “That’s not her fault. Anyone who has a problem with it, well it’s their damn problem. We’re getting Nicole and she’s going to be happy.” He’s so serious and I love that, especially the use of the word we.

  “We?”

  He smiles, “Yes, we! Whatever you do Hailey, I’ll be behind you all the way. You want to have Nicole then we’ll get her and raise her.”

  “I love you so much.” I blurt out, the smile on my face is something I never expected so soon after Maddie’s death.

  “I love you too, now close your eyes and get some sleep. We’ve a big day tomorrow.”

  I do as he says and shut them, all I see is darkness and I’m grateful for the reprieve of not having to see her lying on the floor. It’s not long before I hear Scott’s breathing hit a steady rhythm, he’s fallen asleep already.

  “Look Mads, I’ve been patient, you drop this huge bomb on me and you’ve not mentioned it since. I think it’s time to spill.” We’ve just moved into the apartment in the same building as Scott’s.

  Maddie comes and sits beside me, “I messed up so badly Hailey. I hurt every day, I don’t mean pain that can fade, I mean every morning I wake up I want to cry and scream and I wonder why the hell I’m even alive.” The tears are falling from her eyes but confusion hits me, how have I not known about any of this?

  “Mom and Dad were looking forward to meeting her, they were as happy as was I. When they died, I knew I couldn’t physically or financially support the three of us, so I did the only thing I could think of. I gave her away.” She lets out a wail and runs to the bathroom, I can hear her sobbing and I wonder if I should go to her or not.

  Standing up, I walk into the bathroom, Maddie’s sitting on the toilet with the seat down. I close the door and sit on the floor facing her, “How did I not know, how did anyone not know? You’d have been big.”

  She lets out a bitter laugh, “I was. It just so happened to coincide with my baggy sweatshirt and sweats phase.” Shit, I actually remember that, I always use to tell her that she looked like a hobo. “The summer you went to camp, I had her. I needed to be able to say goodbye and you were gone for two weeks. God, those were the worst two weeks of my life.”

  “Maddie, what the hell? I would have helped!” I cry, God, she chose me over her own daughter.

  “I wasn’t emotionally stable to look after a tiny baby, neither of us was. She was placed with a loving couple who couldn’t have kids. I know that I made the right decision for Nicole, she got to live with people who could give her everything I couldn’t.”

  She’s full of shit, I can hear the lie in her voice, she may have thought that when she was eighteen but she doesn’t believe that now. “You’re a bad liar Mads, when did you realize that you made the wrong choice?”

  “Straight away, I think there was always a part of me that thought I was making the wrong decision but I brushed it off as nerves.” She swallows harshly, looking up at the ceiling, as though it’s going to help her find the answers. “As soon as I held her, I knew, I knew that I loved her more than anything. This tiny precious life that I made was everything I needed but never knew I wanted.”

  “Mads,” God, now I’m crying. “Why didn’t you ask for help. Soph and Winter would have helped.”

  “No, Soph was deployed and Winter was so busy with her internship and then starting her business that I was kind of forgotten about.” She shrugs her shoulders as though it doesn’t matter when I know damn well that it does.

  “Two days after I left the hospital I couldn't cope. I needed her back. I went to her dad, hoping, praying he’d help me get her back. Stupid me huh, what eighteen-year-old wants to be saddled with a baby?” She starts to cry harder. God, what the hell, what fucking asshole is he? “I later found out that the couple that had adopted her had moved out of the area, they thought I may have changed my mind and decided being far enough away would keep me away.”

  “Who is the father?” I ask, curious as to who it could be Maddie’s never really had a steady boyfriend.

  Her eyes hold shame, “David,” she whispers, her voice shaky as she does so.

  I gasp in shock, “Oh Mads, what?” David of all people? I mean, I always thought he was creepy but he took being an asshole to the max. The man is a murdering rapist. He’s the one that killed Connor, I’m struggling to wrap my head around it.

  “I know, God, he was one fucked up sonofabitch! I hate him more than anyone in this world. God, anytime I think of him I want to kill the bastard!” She’s shaking with rage and I just don’t get it, why the hell was she with
him in the first place? “I really hope that Nicole never finds out who her father is.”

  “I don’t understand, you two had broken up years before, what the hell possessed you to get back with him?” I’m still in shock.

  “Boredom, he was there and it was just one night. God, for a few minutes of shit sex.” She shakes her head in disgust, her face pale and drawn.

  “You know what I never did understand? Why you told him that Winter was into him. God, Mads, you were the only one who didn’t think he was a total creep.”

  “I never thought he’d do that! God, I thought he’d hit on her and irritate the hell out of her. We were in the bar and we were talking about Nicole, he was being a jerk as usual but this time he was meaner than ever. He told me that she was better off without a junkie as a mother and that he hoped she’d die so he’d never have to talk about her again.” Tears well in her eyes as she tells me, she’s staring at the wall in front of me. Focused, almost as if she’s reliving what happened.

  “I told him that he was a jerk and to get lost, that’s when he heard Winter laughing. God, she was so happy, so carefree and I admit I was jealous. I wished I could be that carefree, not having to worry about anything except having a good time. David asked me if Winter was single, I was pissed, she was my best friend and he was the father of my child. That shouldn’t even come up in conversation. Then he asked if he’d ever stand a chance with her and I let my anger override me, I shouldn’t have but I did and I told him, that she’s always had a thing for him and I left the bar.” She’s shaking again, this time her anger is mixed with sorrow.

  “I never should have left her at the bar, I never would have if I had known.” She sobs, finally, the real Maddie has come out, the one that isn’t the cold-hearted bitch she’s been showing everyone. “I tried to find him you know, I wanted to kill him. When I found out what he had done, I wanted to kill him so badly. He hurt her, she changed so much and I was to self-absorbed to even care. I brushed it off like it didn’t matter, that she didn’t matter. One night I lost it, I completely lost it. I went to his house, I went to the bar across the street from where he lived and couldn’t find him. Hell, I even went to his parent’s house, they hadn’t seen him in months. He had disappeared.”