Beefcake & Retakes

by Fennell, Judi

  Juliet took another sip of her wine. Just a small one because, if she and Tanner were going to talk—and Sandy had given her compelling enough reasons to bring that white elephant out into the open—she wanted a clear head when Tanner came home tonight.

  Unfortunately for Juliet, he never did.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Tanner had a headache bigger than the state he was in.

  Jagermeister shots. What the hell had he been thinking?

  He’d been thinking that he better not go home last night. He’d been thinking that if he did, the same thing that’d happened the other night would happen again and he didn’t want to complicate matters any more than they already were.

  But, Jesus. His freaking head.

  “Yo, Tan. Doin’ okay, bro?” Rick’s voice sounded as if it echoed off the walls of his man-cave.

  Tanner peeled one eye open. A decidedly girly man-cave. The curtain on the windows might be Cowboys blue, but the bows at the top of the valance killed the masculinity in one fell swoop. And the silver sequins on the bar stools…

  Rick had taken the ribbing with a good-natured shrug of his shoulders. “Sometimes, guys, it ain’t worth fightin’ for. And sometimes, the reward’s worth it.”

  No need for him to go any further. They all got it.

  And they were all getting it. Everyone but him.

  You got it the other night.

  Yeah, an aberration that shouldn’t have happened.

  He winced. Calling what he and Juliet had done an aberration was… well, an abomination.

  “Here you go.” Rick held a double shot glass under his nose. “Hair of the dog.”

  One whiff and Tanner was rearing back. “No thanks. Get that shit away from me.” He grabbed his head. Should never have had that sixth one. But he had wanted a reason not to go back to Juliet’s.

  He’d gotten one.

  Hell, he probably shouldn’t go now.

  He checked his cell phone.

  No text. No call.

  He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

  “Seriously, Tan, drink it. It’ll help with the hangover.”

  “I deserve the hangover. Hell, we all do. Do we think we’re still teenagers?’

  “Yeah, because thirty is so old.” Rick, the bastard, punched him in the shoulder. “I thought you were looking forward to the big three-oh. Gonna be a rich man, right?”

  Tanner rubbed the back of his neck. He’d told the guys about the trust fund years ago and they’d been ribbing him about it last night. Luckily, no one knew about his father’s gambling problem, so they all thought he was planning some grandiose purchases the day he turned thirty.

  They’d been more than a bit bummed to learn he was investing it in a business venture. He’d gone with nightclub and left it at that. If they knew he was dancing…

  “So, you seen your folks?” Rick set the glass on the table then grabbed a few empty beer bottles from it, the clinking grinding through Tanner’s skull.

  Or maybe that was Rick’s question.

  “Not yet.”

  “You gonna?”

  Tanner opened one eye. “Why?” There was something… odd in Rick’s voice. And his question. Tanner couldn’t remember the last time Rick had even mentioned his parents let alone was interested when Tanner had talked to them.

  “No reason. Just that I see your old man around town and he’s … well, he’s not lookin’ so good.”

  “Is something wrong with him?”

  Rick spun around, the plastic trash bag banging against the coffee table in another nerve-destroying crash of glass. “The fact that you’re asking me is a problem.”

  “It’s… complicated.”

  “Guy’s your dad, Tan. Might want to check him out.”

  One more thing he hadn’t wanted to face by coming back here.

  Tanner grabbed the shot glass from where Rick had set it on the table and tossed the contents back. The liquid scorched the back of his throat all the way down.

  Well, that was a wake-up call.

  He shook his head, then scrubbed his fingers through his hair and stood up. He needed a shower before he could deal with Rick’s question and the associated reality. Not to mention Juliet. He didn’t want to face her either.

  Luckily, at this hour, she was probably on her way to the office so going back to her place ought to be safe.

  ***

  Wrong.

  He knew it the moment he opened the front door. He could smell her. Those bluebonnets…

  “Tanner? Is that you?”

  “You expecting someone one else?” He headed into the kitchen. She didn’t have coffee, but tea had more caffeine. He needed that. And some OJ.

  What he didn’t need was Juliet showing up in a dress that hugged her chest and flowed over the flare of her hips to fall to right above her knees, leaving nothing to his imagination. Because he knew what was beneath it.

  “Where were—Oh. Are you okay?”

  “Look that bad, do I?”

  “It’s… well, you have looked better.”

  “Felt better, too.” He shook his head and even that hurt. “I don’t know what we were thinking.”

  She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and handed it to him. “Just like high school. You guys get together and have the collective brain cells of an amoeba.”

  He grabbed the OJ from the fridge. “Do amoebas even have brain cells?”

  “You get my point.”

  “Ouch, Jules. Don’t have to be so harsh.” He took the glass from her, giving him a second look at that dress. “Is that what you’re wearing to the office?” Damn it, why’d he ask her that? It was none of his business what she wore to the office. He splashed the OJ into the glass.

  “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

  He shrugged and dragged the glass to his mouth. Better to have juice going in instead of his foot.

  “Seriously. What’s wrong with it?” Juliet looked down the front of it, then over her shoulder, which stretched it across her chest.

  “Nothing.” Everything. Tanner gulped his juice.

  She looked back at him and smoothed the dress over her hips. “I’ve worn this before.”

  “I said it’s fine, Jules. Don’t mind me.” He grabbed a mug out of her cabinet and filled it with water, then stuck it into the microwave. He needed caffeine. Now.

  Though, actually, the sight of Juliet in that dress jump-started his blood faster than caffeine could. “Aren’t you going to be late?”

  “I handled my email from home this morning. I wanted… I wanted to talk to you.”

  Warning signs went off in his head—which didn’t help the hangover. He didn’t turn around. “Talk about what?”

  “About…” She exhaled. “The other night.”

  There was only one other night and he didn’t want to talk about it. “I think it’s better left as it is.”

  “And how is it?”

  He spun around—damn it. His brain was a few seconds behind his body so it rattled around in his skull. “What do you mean, how is it? It is what it is and we should just leave it in the past.”

  “Why?”

  “Why? Because it doesn’t change anything, remember? That’s what we agreed on.” The blood was throbbing through his brain and he wanted to attribute it to the stress of her question and the volume with which he’d answered her… but he didn’t think so.

  “I remember, Tanner. I remember a lot of things. Like how it always was between us.”

  “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? That’s why you came to my club to find me. You want me—us—back. Is your grandmother even sick or did you make that up?”

  Juliet gasped and reached for the counter. “How can you even ask that? Of course she is. I wouldn’t do that. You saw for yourself. ”

  Shit. He felt worse for that question than he did because of the hangover. He raked a hand through his hair then braced himself with his palms on the counter behind him. “You’re r
ight. I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Of course she is. I know you wouldn’t make that up.” He scrubbed his five-am shadow. “Look, Jules. There can’t be anything between us. There’s too much baggage. Too much mistrust. We can’t go back.”

  “I don’t want to go back.”

  He couldn’t have heard that right. He wiggled a finger in his ear. “Huh?”

  “I don’t want to go back. You’re right; there is too much baggage. Too much hurt and bad decisions and lies to wade through. But we can move forward, Tanner. We could if we wanted to.”

  That was the thing; he didn’t want to.

  Really? That’s not what you were saying the other night, and you can try to blame it on hormones or distance or whatever, but the reality is, you wanted Juliet then. And you went back for seconds. There’s something between you; there always has been. You owe it to yourself to deal with it instead of running from it. You’ve been running ever since Keegan died. Time to stop and smell the bluebonnets, buddy.

  Right. And visit his parents, too. Gee, this trip was just a ball of laughs.

  Tanner flexed his fingers against the edge of the counter. “I can’t do this, Jules. Not now.”

  She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. But he felt those slate blue eyes of hers trying to dig into his psyche. His soul.

  Once upon a time, they’d been able to. Because they’d been his soul.

  “Okay, Tanner. You’re right. Now’s not the time. I have to get to work and you have to… Whatever it is you have to do today.”

  “I’m going to see my parents.”

  The words shocked him as much as they did her.

  “Do they know?”

  He winced when he shook his head. “I didn’t know ’til just now, so no, they don’t.”

  “Are you going to call them?”

  He shrugged and pushed himself off the counter then opened the microwave. “I don’t know. Probably not. In case I change my mind.”

  “Are you sure that’s wise?”

  “No. But then, neither was the other night and I survived that.”

  Sort of.

  ***

  He’d survived that.

  Survived.

  So much for Sandy’s great insight into Tanner Wentworth.

  He really didn’t want to try to make things work with her.

  And you’re surprised why?

  Because… because she wanted to. Because she’d thought the other night meant something. He still wanted her physically. He’d held her after her father had left. He had to feel something for her to do that, right?

  Except he didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to revisit it. Didn’t want to hear her out.

  Juliet moved the sticky note from one side of her desk to the other—as she’d been doing for the past five minutes. She had to get her mind back on work. Back to the day-to-day. The future was too tough to think about.

  “Juliet?” Maggie, her assistant, buzzed her from her desk.

  Juliet moved the sticky note back to her calendar and punched the mic button. “What’s up, Maggie?”

  “Mr. Wentworth is here to see you.”

  “Tanner?” Juliet tried not to squeak his name out, but she wasn’t very successful.

  “Uh, no. A Mr. Palston Wentworth.”

  Tanner’s father? What could he possibly want with her?

  Juliet took a couple of seconds to gather her wits, then pushed the mic button again. “Send him in, Maggie.”

  “Will do.”

  Juliet’s office was only five feet from Maggie’s desk so it didn’t give her a lot of time to steel herself for her father-in-law’s arrival.

  Father-in-law. Funny that that was her first thought of the man. She hadn’t seen Tanner’s parents since his mother had stopped by to ask for a picture of Keegan. They’d been at the hospital that night when Nana had taken the pictures. Mr. Wentworth hadn’t come anywhere near her since the hospital and she hadn’t seen him since. He hadn’t even shown up at the courthouse for their wedding.

  Of course, with the mortgage issue, she hadn’t really blamed him. But Tanner had.

  The man didn’t look anything like she remembered. Gaunt, his shoulders bent and his hair that had once been thick and blond like Tanner’s now gray and thin… Mr. Wentworth had aged more than the years that had passed.

  “Mr. Wentworth.” Juliet rounded her desk and held out her hand. Her grandmother had made sure she knew her manners. “What can I do for you?”

  Tanner’s father looked at her outstretched hand as if he wasn’t quite sure what it was. But then he grabbed it with his gnarled one. “More like what I can do for you.”

  He gave her one last shake, then reached out to the back of the chair in front of her desk and lowered himself into it gingerly, setting a small pouch on his lap.

  “What you can do for me?” She walked back behind her desk, foregoing the chair beside him. This wasn’t a social visit and he’d never acknowledged her as his daughter-in-law. Then again, he’d never really acknowledged her at all when she’d been to Tanner’s house. More often than not, he’d pull Tanner aside and discuss football with him. Juliet had been relieved to spend the time with Mrs. Wentworth as Tanner’s father had always been gruff and stand-off-ish.

  “I know you know about the issue with your dad and I.” Mr. Wentworth shifted in his seat. “About the mortgage.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  He drummed his fingers on the pouch and looked at her while he gnawed on the inside of his cheek.

  Then he set the pouch on the end of her desk and rested his hands in his lap again. “I’m here to pay you back.”

  Juliet didn’t respond. Didn’t know what to say. She knew why her father had bought the mortgage from the bank; knew why Mr. Wentworth owed it to them in the first place. If she told him she was forgiving the note and he had all that money, there was no telling what he’d do with it. And if she told Tanner… Well, then there’d be no reason for him to stay.

  She needed time to think. “All right. I’ll have to let our lawyers know so they can draw up the paperwork. Do you want to hang onto that, um, pouch, until then?”

  “No.” He scratched his jaw. “No, you hang onto it. Give me a receipt; I trust ya.”

  He’d never been a man of many words, but she could hear the tightness in the ones he’d said. This wasn’t easy for him.

  Truth be told, it wasn’t easy for her either. She didn’t want to have to hide this from Tanner, but she also didn’t want to make it easy for him to walk away. He had to stay. For Nana’s sake.

  And hers.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “Tanner?” His mother’s mouth fell open—ushering a ton of guilt into Tanner’s heart. He shouldn’t have lost touch with them. No matter what they’d done, they were still his parents.

  “Hi, Mom.” He swept her up in a hug.

  She still felt like his mom. Still wrapped her arms around him the same way she’d done since he’d been little. He’d forgotten what it felt like. He hadn’t exactly been in a wanting-hugs mood when he’d been forced to the courthouse, which was the last time he’d seen her.

  He should’ve come back. If only for a visit.

  “My, look at you. It’s been so long.”

  “I know, Mom. I’m sorry.”

  There were tears in her eyes. “Well, now, you’re here. That’s what’s important.” She stepped aside. “Come in. I’m just sorry your father’s not home to see you. You’ll come back, won’t you?”

  “Dad’s not here? Where is he?” Tanner didn’t want to ask, but something compelled him though he was half afraid of the excuse his mother would come up with. His father had a gambling problem and she’d enabled it.

  Tanner had hated them both for it when he’d last been here, but now… Now he felt sorry for them.

  He wanted to get the mortgage back for them. Give them a chance to start over. But he’d insist on counseling for both of them. Dad couldn’t lose the ranch aga
in because Tanner wasn’t going to be able to bail him out a second time. He had his own life to worry about.

  “He said he had some errands to run.”

  “What kind of errands? I thought he was working the ranch?”

  “Oh he is. But a truckload of cattle just left and he came in with a big smile on his face, kissed me on the cheek, and told me, ‘Gemma, I’m goin’ out. Don’t wait up.’”

  Shit. Shit. And triple shit. That didn’t sound good.

  “But you can visit with me a while, right? It’s not just your father you came to see.”

  His guilt doubled. Ah, well, it wasn’t as if his father couldn’t have gotten in trouble the past seven years. One afternoon couldn’t do much more damage.

  “Of course I can, Mom.” He closed the door behind him. “You don’t happen to have any of your cookies around here, do you?”

  “Now Tanner Nathan Wentworth. What would the Wentworth Ranch be without my homemade chocolate chip cookies? The hands still come in on their breaks for them, same as they did when you were haulin’ hay.” She shooed him back toward the kitchen. “Come on, I’ll get them for you. If I’d known you were coming, I would’ve made a batch for you to take back with you.”

  Another knife to his heart. For the too-short time he’d been a parent, he knew what it meant to love a child and he’d denied his mother that.

  “I’m, ah, here for a while, Mom.”

  The smile on her face when she turned around both warmed him and filled him with more regret for causing her pain. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so glad to hear that. Where are you staying?”

  And now for the hard part…

  He followed her into the kitchen. “With Juliet.”

  Mom’s steps faltered. “Ju… Juliet? Chambers?”

  “Wentworth, Mom. We’re still married.”

  His mother got very busy searching for those cookies in the cupboard. “You are? I would’ve thought you’d taken care of that years ago.”