by Toni Aleo
With her lips pursed, she demands, “Talk.”
I swallow hard, my mouth going dry. Focus, Brooks. “Listen, what we did can’t ever happen again.”
She shrugs and laughs softly. “Okay?”
“I’m just making sure you know this.”
She glares. “Oh please, don’t you worry. I’m not asking for it.”
I narrow my eyes. “Well, you weren’t saying that last week.”
“Because I was lied to. I was told that you were expecting me, that you wanted me, and that I was in for the night of my life. All of that was false,” she snaps, her eyes a little crazy as she looks up at me.
I blink. “We had a great night.”
“Great is a stretch. Maybe okay. But sure as hell not the night of my life. The night of my life would include the guy knowing who he’s fucking.”
I really hate how offended I am. Why am I so pissed? Good. She didn’t like it, so she won’t want me again. This should be a good thing. My hands slam into my hips as my voice rises. “That’s not my fault. As soon as you realized I didn’t know you, you should have stopped everything.”
She lowers her brows, her eyes narrowing to slits. “I didn’t even get two words out before you had your tongue down my throat.”
I hold out my hands as I gawk at her. “Because I thought you were sent for sex.”
With a disbelieving look, she yells, “Maybe next time ask, dumbass!”
“Whoa!”
“Whoa what? You used me.”
“Um, I didn’t force you into anything. If I remember correctly, you were basically humping me.”
“So, because I like sex, it’s okay not to make sure you’re with the right person? Yeah, you didn’t force me into anything, not that I’d ever accuse you of that, but you sure didn’t slow down enough to find out who I was. Or, hell, to make sure I came at all.”
I glare. “You came plenty of times. And you knew who I was the whole time, so what was your end game? Trying to get knocked up by me? Trap me?”
Her laughter fills the room. “I’m barely twenty-one years old. I’m not trying to get pregnant. Remember I’m the one who demanded the condom? Also, why would I need to trap you? Maybe you’ve heard of my family? In case you’ve missed the memo, I’m not hurting for money, buddy. I’m not like those whores you’re used to. Maybe you should learn about the girls you go to bed with. Ha! Wait, who am I kidding? You don’t even take the time to learn their names.”
She makes me stabby. “You knew who I was. When you found out I didn’t know, you should have told me, but you said nothing. Why not? You had every chance! You trying to ruin me?”
Something flashes in her eyes, yet she laughs, and it absolutely sets me on fire. “No, Aiden. I am not. I wanted to sleep with you, and that was it. But a bit of advice…” She leans in, and I hold my breath. “Next time you decide to fuck some girl who walks up to you, ask for her name and maybe volunteer to wear a condom.”
“Hey, don’t blame me for liking it without a condom. It’s a different sensation, and I get off faster.”
“Faster?” she asks incredulously. “You get off faster than that? Thank God I made you wear one.”
My jaw actually drops. “Whoa. That’s bullshit. You were satisfied.”
“Hardly.” She pushes off the wall. “But that’s neither here nor there. We did it, it’s done, move on.”
“I am ready to move on.”
“Really? Seems to me you’re trying to blame someone else for your bad decisions. If anyone is trying to ruin anyone, it’s you. You’re sabotaging yourself.”
“I am not.”
“Dude, there were red flags left and right about that night. You are so self-absorbed, you didn’t even realize you were fucking the girl you used to babysit. Maybe you need to reevaluate your life and stop obsessing over what we did.”
Who the hell does she think she is? “You were wearing a wig!”
“A wig doesn’t change my face.”
“I was drunk!” I yell back, and then I point at her. “And if there were red flags, why was my cock in your mouth, then? You weren’t pushing me away. Better yet, you were pulling me in. You sure as hell didn’t leave afterward. You stayed and fucked me all night. You wanted me. Don’t deny it.”
“I wanted to fuck, and you were there.”
“You could have fucked anyone, and you chose me.”
She shrugs so nonchalantly. “I mean, you ain’t ugly.”
Do not be turned on by that country charm. Too late. Unable to come up with anything else, I yell, “You’re lying!”
She presses her lips together, her sparkling blue eyes burning into mine. The hall seems smaller than it is. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like she is taking up all the space in the room, all the air. She’s maybe five-five; she’s little yet a huge presence at the same time. She holds her hands out. “What do you want? Want me to promise not to tell my mommy and daddy? Don’t know if you know this, but I’m an adult. I fuck who I want, and I do it without telling my parents.”
She gives me a tight little condescending grin, and I glare down at her. “Good to know.”
“Sure is. Maybe try it,” she tosses at me as she pushes off the wall.
“Don’t worry about me,” I sneer, glaring at her.
“Never do.” And somehow, she’s right there.
“Fine,” I throw at her sharply.
“Fine,” she throws back with just as much sass.
But neither of us moves. My eyes are held hostage by hers as we both breathe in and out hard and fast. She’s so freaking pretty, it’s annoying. I want to yell at her for being so defiant, but then I want to kiss the hell out of her too. Her lips part and, of course, take my attention. When she licks them, I go hard—everywhere. I am burning all over with anger, and I’m unsure if it’s really my anger or my need for her. I have never been accused of not satisfying my partner in bed, and it drives me crazy that she is claiming I didn’t. I made her come so many times, I can’t even count.
“You loved it with me.”
She snorts. “You’re delusional. But don’t worry, Aiden, I won’t tell anyone. I’m just as embarrassed I slept with you as you are about sleeping with me. So, have a good life.”
I can’t admit to her that I’m not embarrassed at all, and I shouldn’t be as upset as I am that she’s embarrassed to have slept with me. I’m a fucking great lay. So I go on the defensive. “Oh, I plan on it.”
“Good for you,” she says offhandedly. “Maybe you should plan to ID your next fuck too? Do you need rubbers? I can send some over.”
I swear the space between us is on fire. For such a little thing, she is setting me aflame. “You’re pretty obsessed with my sex life. Want a repeat?”
“Repeat that disappointment?” She smirks. “Please. I’m good.”
“You’re so full of it. You were screaming my name.”
“Well, since it was the only name that was known at the time, I figured, what choice did I have? Didn’t want you to forget it too.”
“Wow, you got a smart fucking mouth.” A beautiful, sexy, smart mouth, but no need to tell her that.
The most cunning grin spreads across her pouty lips before she shrugs and says ever so calmly, “Yeah, well, you’re a jackass. So, go fuck yourself very much.”
She then flips me off with both hands before kicking the door open and heading through it.
“Real fucking ladylike. Your mom would be so proud!” I yell as the door shuts with a thud. I cover my face with my hands and shout out in annoyance, “Damn it!”
One thing I can’t deny is that she frustrates the ever-living fuck out of me. She may also turn me on beyond belief. I’m so hard, I can’t even see straight. Yeah, I must stay away from her. But hell if I don’t want to prove her completely wrong and make her scream my name. Then I’ll scream her name, over and over again. Jesus, this has the potential to get complicated. Thankfully, I am a grown man who can control himself just fine arou
nd infuriating, sexy, gorgeous, sassy-mouthed little minxes like Shelli Adler.
Damn it, I may be in a smidge of trouble.
CHAPTER NINE
SHELLI
“WHO DIED?”
Amelia’s question should make me laugh, but it doesn’t. I wipe my face free of the stupid tears that fall as I shiver. I try to put my arms in my jacket as Amelia watches me on FaceTime, but I’m shaking so badly with anger and cold that I’m struggling. Only I would run outside in only a bra in the middle of the fucking polar vortex! God, I’m so stupid.
“No one,” I snap as I finally get my jacket on and zipped. “I’m just pissed.”
“At me?”
“No,” I grumble as I turn the heat on blast in my mom’s Ford F-150. Some would say my mom has small-girl syndrome with how big this truck is. But then, the big metal beast does make me feel unstoppable. Well, that is, when I don’t think of Aiden’s dumb face.
“Posey?”
I roll my eyes as I cuddle deep into my coat, covering my face and feeling pretty pathetic. “No.”
“Okay, you gotta give me more. I can’t just stare at you and keep guessing. You’re gonna get pissed and yell at me.”
She knows me so well. I don’t even want to admit what is wrong with me. I feel so pathetic, so sad. I am Shelli Fucking Adler. I have been the lead in six Broadway productions since I was sixteen. I am smart, I am hilarious, and damn it, I am beautiful. How dare some boy make me feel less? “Stupid Aiden Brooks.”
I peek out of my coat to see her eyes widen. “Oh. Oh shit.”
“Yeah, oh shit is right!” I yell, slamming my arms down on the seat as I let my head fall back. “He’s such a prick!”
“I mean, I don’t think too highly of him right now. He’s made you cry. You never cry.”
My lips tremble as I wipe away another tear. I think the last time I truly cried was when my uncle died of cancer. Just thinking of that day makes the tears roll faster. I miss him. He was like a second dad to me. Real situations make me cry. The occasional movie gets me, but I do not cry over guys or frustrating circumstances. Amelia does, but she’s more emotional than I am. I was always told, “You don’t cry. You rub ice in your wound and keep moving on.” Thinking about those words now, they make absolutely no sense. Ice would hurt the wound more. My dad is insane—how am I just realizing this? Ugh. It’s like a pinball game in my head, a million thoughts a minute. But none of that matters; Aiden made me feel literally worthless.
“I’m so mad. I want to kick him. Straight in the balls.”
Amelia flinches. “I would highly oppose that. You’ve already been to jail once for assault.”
I roll my eyes. “I didn’t even hit him that hard.”
“You broke his nose.”
“He deserved it,” I grumble as I sit back, shaking my head. I want to say I learned from punching Amelia’s ex-husband in the nose and then kicking him square in the boys, but I didn’t. I’d do it all over again if I had the chance. After all the emotional and physical abuse he put her through, someone needed to put him in his place.
Chicago had it right. He totally had it comin’!
It all seems like eons ago. Amelia is happy, and I know that douchecanoe isn’t ruining her vibe anymore. Not when she has Chandler. Not when she’s pregnant. Not when she feels totally and utterly complete. I’m not jealous of her. I’m so unbelievably happy for her, but I am a bit salty. I want to be complete. I want to feel good. I want to feel like I am doing something right.
“I just don’t get it. Everything was so perfect when he kissed me. Even when I knew he didn’t know who he was with, I was good. I lived out one hell of a fantasy, and it was great. But then he goes and ruins it all. He’s obviously so embarrassed by the fact that he slept with me. He doesn’t give two shits about my feelings. He’s so worried about his pride and my mom finding out, he doesn’t care that he is putting me down or making me feel like I was just another fuck.”
Amelia’s eyes widen, and I see tears forming. “Shelli, I love you. You know that, right?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah. Why are you crying?”
She wipes her cheek. “’Cause I’m pregnant and emotional. You’re hurting, so I’m hurting.”
My bottom lip puckers out. “I love you too.”
“But, honestly, Shelli. You were just another fuck. You gotta remember that.”
My lip puckers out more. “But I wanted to be more.” A sob rips through me. “See, this is why I should have stopped myself from going there. This is why I’ve never gotten the balls to talk to him before. I care more for him than just a fuck. I always have. Everyone else, we bang, I move on. But Aiden is different. He’s always been different. Only now, he’s just another asshole.”
“I’m pretty sure I told you that,” Amelia reminds me, but I shake my head. “He isn’t boyfriend material.”
“But that’s the thing, I wasn’t out to make him my boyfriend. I just wanted him to enjoy me, respect me—”
“Wait… That fucker didn’t respect you?”
I roll my eyes. “Whoa, momma bear, yes, he was very kind. I mean now. He’s being a dick because he’s scared. Because he knows all I have to do is tell my mom and I’ll ruin him. I thought he knew me… And I think that’s what hurts too. I’ve always been nothing to him. It stinks. I’m a really awesome person.”
“You are,” she stresses. “Way better than that dude.”
“See, and that’s where I struggle. My crush of over a decade just blew up in my face. He should have just stayed a crush.”
“That would have been for the best, I think.”
I close my eyes as my tears leak out. “I feel so stupid.”
“Don’t.”
“Why do I still want him?”
I open my eyes to Amelia shaking her head. “Because I think it’s gonna take more than a week to get over a ten-year crush, Shell.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat as I wipe my face. “I really thought something was going to happen. I thought I would rock his world, and he’d want me. Why doesn’t he want me, Am?”
Tears are falling down her face as she gazes back at me. “Because he doesn’t see what an amazing—”
“He’s never seen me. It’s like he’s fucking blind.”
“Well, how can he see you with all that hair in his eyes?”
I pout. “I can’t laugh right now.”
“Fine. He’s a dumb boy.”
“He is,” I insist as I shake my head. “But he’s actually brilliant.”
She rolls her eyes. “He can be book-smart but dumb in common sense.”
I shrug as I sniff. “Yeah. I just wish that I didn’t care. That he meant nothing to me, the way I mean nothing to him.”
“It’s gonna take time.”
“I guess,” I say, blowing my nose and clearing my throat. “I don’t have a plan either.”
“A plan?”
“Yeah,” I say, rubbing my eyes. “Like, you’re a hotshot gym coach, and you’re pregnant, getting ready to marry the love of your life, and I’m nothing.”
“Wow, okay, changing gears,” she says, nodding. “For one, shut up. You are more than nothing, and you know it. And two, I want to rip Aiden’s face off for making you feel like this!”
“No, it’s not him,” I protest, shaking my head. “I’ve been feeling like this since I decided to leave New York.”
“I thought you wanted to go to school?”
“I do, but for what?”
She shrugs. “Music?”
“See, you don’t know, and I sure as shit don’t know. So, what am I doing? I’m singing in a bar because my mom won’t let me sit on my ass and spend the money I already made.”
She snorts. “Aunt Elli was always so weird about that. My mom didn’t care.”
“Or she didn’t want to raise selfish, entitled, little assholes. Though, the boys are skating that line.”
She laughs. “You know you’re okay, right? It’s only
been a week.”
“A week longer than I planned to not have a plan. Posey would have already had a plan.”
“Posey’s already planned out her life,” Amelia adds, and I nod. “It’s okay. You’ll figure it out.”
I just don’t feel that way, though. I feel lost.
When I look up, I see my mom.
With Aiden.
She walks with him, laughing as he talks with his hands, looking so damn excited. It was his first day. I’m sure he is thrilled. He looked great out there, like one of the guys, when I peeked out before starting my workout. But that’s him; he belongs on the ice. They could throw him on any team, and he’d adjust. He’s one hell of a player.
My mom sees me, and she tilts her head to the side. “Mom is coming, and I’m about to get the third degree ’cause my face is beet-red and tear-streaked.”
“May the force be with you.”
“Thanks.”
“But really, Shelli, you’re okay. Don’t let that dumbass get in your head.”
I nod before blowing her a kiss. I hang up as my mom starts for me. Aiden stands there watching, a stricken look covering his handsome face. Damn it. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I wipe my face as I watch my mom get into the truck. Her brows are raised and almost in her hairline. Her auburn hair is up in a high and tight bun, while her makeup is flawless. She’s wearing a pantsuit with heels that are so high, I don’t understand how she walks in them.
But that’s my mom—a masterpiece.
“Shelli baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” she asks as she wipes my face with the back of her hand.
I move away from her hand, taking a shuddery breath. I tell my mom a lot of stuff most daughters wouldn’t. She knew when I had my first kiss and when I lost my virginity. I used to tell her all the time how in love with Aiden Brooks I was, and she would just laugh, thinking I was so adorable. I never told her about the drug use in New York, but she knew I drank. Even before it was legal for me. She knew about the men I’d slept with, she even knew about Nico, but there is no way in hell I can tell her about Aiden.
As much as I would like to wear his penis as a necklace right now, I don’t want to ruin his career.