by Kate Douglas
She was absolutely right. He didn’t know her. Not as she was now. He’d loved the child as the daughter he might someday have, remembered the teenager with fondness, and had anticipated her promise as a beautiful adult. He’d heard stories from Ulrish of the woman she’d become, but he didn’t really know Tia. He wanted her. He desired her as he’d never desired anyone in his life, but he had no idea what the adult Tia, the woman, was like.
She was a teacher. Luc had no idea what she taught. She’d studied in Boston, lived somewhere in that city for the past few years at least, but what had she done when she was there? What were her hobbies, her interests? She’d been with Shannon, her friend and lover, but why had they separated? What had really brought Tia home?
Luc slipped on a pair of worn denims and an old flannel shirt he found in the closet. The shirt hung loosely on his body, which meant it must have been one of Tinker’s, but he rolled up the sleeves, tucked the tail into his jeans, and headed down the stairs.
Tia stood in front of the stove. She’d wrapped one of the guys’ old bathrobes around herself and tied her hair back in a frizzy ponytail. When she looked up at him and smiled, Luc paused midstep.
She looked all of sixteen. Innocent, sweet, nothing like the alpha bitch who’d cut him off at the balls just a short time ago. Bemused and grinning like an idiot, Luc wandered into the kitchen, leaned over, and kissed her on the cheek she turned to him.
“I’m sorry.”
Tia’s head snapped around. “What? Did I just hear an apology?” She slapped her palm to her heart.
“Yeah. Don’t get used to it.” Luc leaned over and sniffed at the sausage cooking beside perfectly fried potatoes. His woman could cook? Another thing he didn’t know about her.
“Well? What are you apologizing for?”
“Uh, well…pulling a switch in midbattle? You were right. That’s cheating.”
“All’s fair in love and war.” Tia smiled, turned back to the stove, and carefully rolled over the sausages to finish browning.
“Okay. I guess.” Even more off-balance, Luc poured himself a cup of coffee. Tia was right. He didn’t have a clue what she was really all about.
He had two more days before the guys arrived to discover exactly what made Tia tick.
This time when they shifted, the sun hadn’t yet slipped behind the mountains. Instead of racing through the forest, Luc led Tia on a slow lope along a fairly well-marked trail. Less than a mile from the cabin, steam rose through the thick undergrowth in a low cloud, almost obscuring a small, crystal-clear pool.
Hot springs. The guys and I like to come here to soak after a long run.
Tia shifted at the water’s edge as if it were something she’d done all her life. She rose to her feet and then glanced over her shoulder at Luc. He’d shifted as well. Naked, he could have been a forest god—all long, lean muscle and thick, dark hair. His cock was only partially erect and still impressive. No wonder she ached after sex with this man! Tia held her hand out to Luc and he took it, pulling her into a tight embrace for a deep, lingering kiss.
His taste was different immediately after his shift. Earthier, more in tune with the forest, the night, flavors on the edge of something wild yet natural.
When they finally broke apart, Luc held her close and stared at her for a long moment, as though memorizing her face. Tia blinked and licked her lips, tasting him on her mouth. That simple movement seemed to break whatever spell held him.
“C’mon.” Luc led Tia into the pool. The water was warm and very still, except where springwater bubbled to the surface near one end. A faint sulfuric smell hung in the air, though the odor wasn’t strong enough to ruin the beauty of the place. Luc eased down into the water, pulling Tia with him.
He showed her a submerged lip of rock where they could sit shoulders deep and let the warm water wash over their bodies.
Tia tilted back her head against the smooth stone and closed her eyes. Luc’s arm crept around her shoulders and she leaned against him. Unbelievable. This feels like heaven.
So do you.
You never give up, do you? Tia grinned, opened one eye, and squinted at Luc.
Never. He hugged her against him. You said I don’t know you. You’re right. Will you tell me?
Tell you what?
Who you are. What you like. What you want. Most of all, what you need.
You really want to know? This time Tia pulled away and really stared at him. “You’re serious, right?”
“Yeah. Very serious.” He grinned and tapped her once on the end of the nose. “First question. What do you teach?”
“Little kids with learning disabilities. Children who don’t fit in, who need extra help keeping up.”
“Why? I would think that’s really difficult.”
“It is, but it’s worth it.” She looked away, remembering. “I was one of those kids. I had my mother to help me when I was small, but when she was gone, there was no one…. I always felt different, sort of the odd girl out. Not only was I biracial, I didn’t have a mother and I was always just different.” She turned to Luc and smiled. “I imagine some of the difference I felt was being Chanku, but obviously I didn’t know that until this week. Anyway, I was miserable until I got a wonderful teacher in the fourth grade who took extra time with me. She made me feel as though I mattered, as though I counted for something. I want to do that for kids who have trouble adjusting to what life throws at them. I don’t remember my mother well enough to know what she was like, so I want to be like my teacher. She was my role model. I want to be like her.”
Luc’s silence caught Tia’s attention. She turned to him and mentally ventured across the gap to see what he was thinking.
Luc’s thoughts were thoroughly blocked. Tia frowned, confused. He’d never blocked her before. Not once.
“Luc? Are you listening to me?”
He blinked as if he’d been a million miles away. “I’m sorry. I guess I never thought of you having any sort of learning problems. You were always such a bright little thing, so inquisitive.”
“My mother’s death was hard on me. Harder even than my father realized. I shut down in a lot of ways, but when I look back now I realize it was the only way I could cope. Just this week I remember we used to speak without words. It was our secret, but I’d forgotten. Luc, I’ve forgotten so much about her. That’s part of the reason I came back to San Francisco.”
“What do you mean?”
“I intend to find out how my mother really died. I don’t think anyone has ever told me the truth. There was some kind of cover-up, I’m absolutely convinced of that. Dad won’t discuss her at all, but I know I’ll never understand myself until I know more about my mother, about her death and her life. It’s even more important, now that I know she was Chanku. It explains so much, yet leaves me with even more questions.”
Tia turned to face Luc and cupped his beard-roughened jaw in her palm. “Do you understand what I’m saying? Until I find out more about my mother’s life and her death, I can’t commit to life with you. I do love you, Luc. I know that, but I have to know the truth about my mother, or I’ll never really feel as though I truly know myself. Please be patient with me. Try to understand.”
Oh, he understood all right. He understood all too well. Tia raced ahead of him, her tail a dark flag waving in the night. She didn’t have a clue about her mother and she wanted answers.
Thank God she didn’t know about Luc’s role in Camille’s death. As fragile as she seemed right now, news like that could only harm her.
It would also destroy whatever hope Luc might carry within his heart for a future between the two of them.
Somehow he had to tell her the truth, but now was not the time. He had to do it right…pick the right time, the proper circumstances. So far Luc had managed to block all thoughts of Camille, of her funeral, of the final look in her glittering feral eyes just before the bullet took her life, but he couldn’t do it forever. One day he would slip and Tia would learn
the truth.
Mating was out of the question. He could never hide such a powerful memory during the total bonding he’d been told occurred during a Chanku mating. He couldn’t imagine a more horrible thing, to bond Tia to him while sharing a memory of how he killed her mother.
She would hate him forever.
Yet be bound to him for just as long.
Tia would never forgive Luc for taking away her mother. Even if the adult Tia could understand what a horrible mistake Luc had made, the lost child in her past would hate with a mindless passion. He knew this, accepted the truth with a horrible pain in his heart.
Racing swiftly through the dark woods, Luc buried his memories, buried his guilt, and followed his woman through the night.
Tia ran as if racing the night could leave behind the horrible memories. She rarely allowed herself to think of her mother. It was too painful, but Luc had said he wanted to know, so she’d told him.
Damn him! So typically male. Acting concerned about her feelings, making her think he really cared until she actually spilled her guts and told him the truth. Now, when she needed him, needed his love and his reassurance, he blocked her, the walls so high and thick there was no getting through.
Was he so afraid of her emotions? So self-centered and selfish he couldn’t deal with the fact that she had something important she needed to do before committing to him?
Once again Tia felt totally alone. She’d grown used to his constantly reassuring presence. Now she’d been set adrift from the one anchor she’d known since learning of her Chanku heritage.
So typical of a man, to abandon her when she’d finally decided to trust. Her father had been much the same, retreating into his shell of despair after her mother died. Throwing himself into Pack Dynamics and his new friends while Tia floundered. Abandoning the child who cried out for the one parent who had always been there, had always known the right thing to say, the right thing to do.
She’d never doubted that her father loved her. It just hadn’t been enough, not when Camille had loved so completely. No one else’s love had been enough to fill her mother’s place in Tia’s life. Not her father’s, not Shannon’s…not Luc’s.
Definitely not Luc’s.
Snarling into the wind, Tia raced through the darkness. Let Luc try to keep up. Adrenaline coursed through her system, and Tia put on an extra burst of speed. Trees blurred beside her. Small nocturnal animals scattered in her path.
Luc followed. Farther and farther behind, but still he followed. Though his thoughts were blocked, she sensed his presence. He was unhappy. In fact, he felt downright miserable.
Good. Let him suffer a bit for what he’d done, getting her to open up and then turning his back on her obvious need. He deserved to hurt, after what he’d done. Tia wished she could give him all her pain.
She’d love to give anyone her pain. It was so damned hard to carry it alone.
Miles later, lungs heaving, heart aching, Tia turned back toward the cabin. She sensed Luc nearby, but he stayed away from her. Good. At least he knew when to leave her alone.
There would be no mating in the woods tonight.
She flipped her bushy tail and sauntered up the front steps to the cabin. He could take her as a woman or not at all.
Luc watched Tia shift, making the change from wolf to woman in a graceful shimmer of light and motion. When she stood tall and searched the woods for him, he held his position behind the thick shrubs, out of her sight.
He wanted her. Wanted to feel the velvet clasp of her pussy around his cock, wanted the sweet taste of her lips, but he had no idea how she felt. If she would accept him as her lover even in human form.
There was no way in hell she would take him as a wolf. That dream had certainly been put on hold tonight. He opened his mind, searched carefully for her thoughts.
Found her, waiting, watching for him. Her body was ripe, her anger overwhelmed by arousal. He’d neglected to consider how hot she’d be after her run, how much she’d need sexual release after the shift.
Head high, thoughts still blocked, Luc trotted toward the house. The moment Tia saw him, he shifted, continuing his journey as a man on two legs. Slowly, Luc took each step up to the raised deck, his gaze never wavering until he met Tia at the top.
She stared back at him. The devastating sadness in her eyes came as a surprise. Luc held out his hand. She took hold of it. Tightened her fingers in his grasp. Tugged lightly until he followed her into the dark cabin.
Tia’s mind was tightly closeted behind strong barriers. She guarded her thoughts just as he did, but she didn’t try to contain her desire. He scented her arousal on the still night air. Accepted the fact that she needed him on the most basic level.
Needed him, but didn’t really want him. Sighing, Luc followed her into the cabin and up the stairs to the loft. They had sex in the darkness, each locked behind their own barriers.
Luc’s orgasm left him feeling tired and frustrated. Tia’s left her in tears, sobbing quietly in the darkness. When he tried to hold her, to give comfort, she pulled away. Silently she rolled to one side and turned her back on him.
Sighing, wondering how he would find a way out of the hole he’d dug for himself, Luc lay awake in the dark beside Tia for a long time, reliving that fateful afternoon in Golden Gate Park.
Chapter 11
Tia leapt from the deck in human form, shifted to wolf in midair, and landed heavily on her side. Grunting, she picked herself up out of the dirt, shifted back to human form, and brushed the twigs and dirt out of her hair.
“Shit. Why in the hell can’t I get that right?”
“You’re trying too hard.” Luc leaned on the railing, wearing worn blue jeans and no shirt. His chest glistened with perspiration, as if he were the one making the crappy falls, not her. “Just go with your instincts. Wolves are more like cats than you realize. If you try to direct your landing, you’re going to keep falling. Don’t fight it. Let the wolf take control.”
“Easy for you to say.” Tia snorted, wiped her bloodied hands along her bruised thighs, and stalked back up the steps. “You’re standing there giving orders. I’m the one landing on my ass.”
“Quit thinking like a girl. Think like a wolf.” Luc folded his arms over his chest and glared at her. Tia glared back. If he would just open his mind, show her how to shift and land on all four feet, it would be so much easier. Instead he kept his damned barriers up and his thoughts hidden. Blocked, just as he’d been for the past two days.
He’d not even lowered the barriers during sex. She missed the connection, missed Luc. Damn, but he pissed her off!
She would show him. This time Tia launched herself over the railing, fully expecting to break at least an arm if nothing worse, shifted on the fly, and suddenly found herself hitting the ground on all four feet.
She yipped, twirled around on her back legs, and was Tia again, grinning from ear to ear.
Luc raced down the steps and grabbed her in his arms. “You did it! Fantastic! That was absolutely perfect!” He held her close and kissed her.
She kissed him back. Bruised and hurting, she still wanted him. This kiss only reminded her of what she’d lost over the past couple of days.
All the exquisite sex in the world couldn’t make up for the intimacy of making love with Lucien Stone when he shared his thoughts, his emotions, his every sensation.
Tia had had no idea how much she would miss that intimacy, that wonderful sense of belonging, until he’d taken it away.
She wanted Luc back, damnit! Wanted him to accept the fact that she had things to do before the final bonding he demanded. Then his lips moved over hers and she couldn’t help but respond.
There was something terribly erotic about standing there in front of the cabin, the afternoon sun beating down on her naked body, caught in the embrace of a man who was still at least partially dressed.
Luc’s jeans rubbed roughly against her belly; his chest hair abraded her sensitive nipples. Tia felt hersel
f swelling, ripening to his touch. She wanted him. Not just his body, not merely his perfect mouth and his amazing cock. She wanted his heart, his mind. Now that he’d denied access to that most private part of him, she craved it.
Craved all of him. Groaning, she pressed against him, kissed his throat, his jaw, the corner of his mouth. Luc didn’t kiss her back. Instead he raised his head and held very still. Then he slowly put Tia away from him.
“They’re coming. The guys will be here in a couple minutes. Go put some clothes on.”
Tia looked down at her body, ripe and ready for his. She saw the flush across her breasts, the way her nipples stood out hard and taut, an open invitation if ever there was one.
Her inner thighs glistened with her fluids, her clitoris visibly swollen below her flat belly. All in readiness for Luc, but when she raised her head to look at him, he was already turning away, picking her clothing off the deck, separating himself from her as completely as if he had physically severed flesh.
Sighing, Tia took the bundle of clothes Luc handed her and went inside the cabin to dress.
They sat on the deck after dinner and watched the sun go down over the mountains. It was the first time Tia had really had a chance to observe the other men of the pack without her father observing her.
Jake kept mostly to himself. A silent man, tall and strong, he carried an aura of sadness about him. Tia wondered about his story, wondered if he’d left someone behind in another life somewhere. He’d been with Luc the longest—part of Pack Dynamics for almost fifteen years. He was the first of the Chanku Luc had brought into the pack.
Mik and AJ obviously were a couple. How she’d missed that Tia wasn’t sure, but the two men, both powerfully built and handsome as sin, had no qualms about their open affection for one another. They’d been prisoners serving time at Folsom when Ulrich discovered their Chanku genetics.