Insatiable

by Lucy Lambert

  Then again, if things go well I won’t be needing a cat… I pushed those thoughts from my mind. One, they got in the way of thinking about work. Two, they were about a future that still didn’t seem quite attainable to me.

  I couldn’t keep myself still, though. I kept wandering around my condo, doing a circuit from the kitchen to the living room to my office, over and over.

  On one of these trips I noticed that I had a message on my answering machine. I must have overlooked it in my excitement to plug my phone in and check my email.

  I hit the button to play it back.

  “Hey babe, I’m in town for once and I thought we could see each other again? Maybe get a little familiar? I know we can work through some of that stuff from before. See you later.”

  “No,” I said. Not now. Why did he have to do this now? How did he get my number? I’d gotten a different one when I moved into the condo.

  I suppose it didn’t matter how he’d gotten the number, it only mattered that he did have it.

  If there was a single person in the world I didn’t want to see that day (or ever again, but especially not that day). It was him. Archer, my ex from a few years ago, before I’d started at C&M.

  It had been a messy breakup, and sometimes he still got it into his head that we were a thing. Like it had all just been a mistake on my part that I’d dumped his cheating, drunk ass.

  I checked the time stamp on the message. It was from this morning, around the time Vaughn and I had been sitting at his kitchen island having breakfast.

  If I’d been home, I could have told him to stay away. I could have told him that I had no interest in seeing him!

  Part of me knew that wasn’t the way Archer operated, though. He never really cared about what I actually said, only hearing what he wanted me to say.

  I got angry at Vaughn for a few heartbeats, wanting to blame him. But I knew at best he was only half to blame. It took two to do what we did. It wasn’t like he’d handcuffed me to his bed.

  Though wouldn’t that have been something? I thought with a smile. I shook my head. Not the time to think about that, Quinn!

  It was then I’d wished I’d gone ahead and gotten that restraining order against him.

  Of course, back then he had still been poisoning my mind. I still couldn’t believe I’d actually felt guilty over the whole thing, like it was my fault.

  I could leave, I could go somewhere and just hide out until he stops looking. Vaughn would let me stay at his place, was my kneejerk reaction.

  I was a different person now then I was when I’d been with Archer, though. I was stronger. I was successful at my job, people respected me.

  He was a ghost from my past that I decided I needed to get rid of myself, to make him stop poisoning my thoughts.

  I didn’t know whether I should count it as luck or misfortune that I didn’t have to wait long to put myself to the test.

  I sat at my desk in my home office, checking ad schedules for conflicts, when I heard the knock at my door. I’d gotten so involved in my work that I almost forgot about him.

  But as soon as I heard that knock my throat squeezed shut and my stomach went cold.

  I considered pretending to not be home. Let him knock as much as he wanted, let him leave.

  But he’ll just come back! I kept thinking. I knew Archer. I knew that once he got this into his head he wouldn’t stop.

  My phone sat on my desk beside my keyboard. I looked at it when Archer knocked again. I could call someone for help, but who?

  Vaughn, I thought, my mind going straight to him. I could call him, get him to come over. Maybe I won’t even have to answer the door! That would be nice, letting someone else take care of my problems.

  Except that wasn’t the sort of person I wanted to be. They were my problems, not anyone else’s, not Vaughn’s. I’d taken myself this far, made my way up the ranks at C&M faster than anyone else.

  An ex-boyfriend should have been nothing at all.

  But if that was the case, why did every knock at the door drive right into my head? Why did it tie my stomach in knots and leave me almost paralyzed in my chair?

  Bang bang bang, came from the door, louder and more insistent. “Quinn! You in there, babe?”

  I worked up every ounce of courage that I could find in myself. Which turned out to be just enough to get me to stand up from my chair. Where I found the stuff I needed to walk over to the door, I didn’t know.

  “Coming!” I said. My voice sounded weak, and that made me angry at myself so I said it again, “Coming!”

  He’s just a selfish jackass who needs to know there’s no chance of anything happening between us again.

  Still, I left the chain on the door when I undid the deadbolt and pulled the door open a few inches.

  “Hey, baby,” Archer said, grinning down at me. He looked just about the same as I remembered. Tall, well-muscled, good-looking. Another guy I used to think looked too good for a girl like me to be with. I guess I had a type.

  And it looked like he’d gotten worse over the past few years. No longer content with tight shirts as they came off the rack, he’d taken to cutting the sleeves off them.

  “Don’t ‘baby’ me, Archie. You know I don’t want to see you.”

  His grin widened at that. “Really? Then why’d you answer the door?”

  Anger and frustration mingled in a hot, unpleasant ball in my chest. “To make sure you get the message loud and clear. No misunderstandings, no confusion. Get out of here and stay away from me. I. Don’t. Want. You. Do I need to spell it out?”

  He tilted his head, his smile changing to the one people sometimes got when dealing with small children who were so cute when they were trying to be serious.

  “Really? ’cause I think you did it because you can’t stop thinking about all the things I did to that smokin’ bod of yours. You want another taste. So come on, baby, open up the door.”

  My stomach churned. “You’re right, in a way. You have left a bad taste in my mouth that I can’t seem to get rid of. And the only ‘bod’ you were ever interested in pleasing in bed was your own. And as I recall, you always managed to please yourself so quickly.”

  His grin broke, then, an angry red flush coming to his cheeks and forehead. “You know I don’t like it when you talk back to me, baby.”

  “I’m not your baby, and what you like or don’t like doesn’t matter to me.”

  Then I tried to close the door. He stuck his foot in the jamb. “I’m not leaving until you let me in.”

  “Then you’re going to be waiting a long time.”

  “I could break this chain, you know. Let myself in,” he shot back. I looked at the chain. Even with all my bodyweight pressed against the door, there wasn’t any slack in it. I didn’t like giving Archer any credit, but he was strong.

  “Yes, that will make me want to take you back, you breaking into my home. You sure know your way into a woman’s heart.”

  “You always did have a smart mouth. Let me in and I’ll show you the right way to use it around a man.”

  What did I ever see in this guy? I wondered. Even years of hindsight couldn’t answer that question. It was just one of those life choices that defied explanation. A life choice that always seemed to come back to remind me of its existence.

  “You’re lots of things, Archie, but a man isn’t one of them,” I said.

  I guessed that we had reached the limits of Archer’s verbal sparring ability. Because he made a sound that was half a curse and half a growl and reached one thick arm in through the door.

  I jerked back from his fumbling fingers, but not before they caught at the end of my hair. They tightened around the strands and then pulled.

  It was a good thing he’d just gotten the ends. It hurt for a moment and then his fingers slipped off.

  Now my heart really pounded inside me. My adrenaline kicked in, leaving me cold and shaky.

  And then I realized I was stuck there. My home phone was in th
e living room. My cell was still on my desk beside my keyboard. I wished that I’d called Vaughn.

  Now it was a waiting game. Either Archer would get bored or frustrated and leave, or that chain on my door would give way.

  I could hope that maybe a neighbor would come out and see the commotion and call the cops, but that one seemed the most distant hope.

  “I’ll scream!” I said.

  “You think I give a damn?” he replied. He made another blind swipe with his hand.

  Chapter 19

  VAUGHN

  I pulled up to the curb and grabbed my cell from the passenger seat where I’d tossed it before.

  I frowned at it. Quinn still hadn’t returned any of my texts or calls.

  She’s probably just shutting everything out so that she can get some work done, I told myself. I admired her dedication to her work, how she threw everything she had at it. I did something similar when I was working on a new project as well.

  Most people found that surprising. I was the CEO of a major company that now had thousands of employees. Why do any of that menial work myself?

  I always told the interviewers that I wanted my employees to respect me, not just consider me some aloof executive who reaped all the rewards from their work. That was only partly true.

  I also did it because it reminded me of those simpler days, before all this success. When the most difficult thing in life was hunting down a programming bug.

  Except now the only thing I wanted to do was get through this product launch and then take Quinn, who would not have that work excuse anymore, somewhere nice. Somewhere with sandy beaches and crystal waters.

  Somewhere we could really just be alone and get to know each other. I found I wanted to know everything about her.

  She’d resist at first, I knew. But she’d give in. I’d already come up with a few things to wear down that resistance.

  Like going to her place to surprise her with lunch. I’d gotten a few looks at the grocery store loading the brown bag into this car.

  I also just wanted to see her again. I felt like a different person around her, especially after sharing more about myself with her. It was almost enough to push that stupid, almost invisible countdown from the back of my mind. That’s not going to happen. Not this time.

  Parking was free on Sundays, I noticed when I got out. That was good, because small change was something that hadn’t existed for me in quite some time.

  I grabbed the bag out of the trunk and went into her building. Here I also felt some relief. These new condo buildings always had a secure entrance, and I wasn’t certain how to get into the place without buzzing her.

  But someone had propped the inner door open. Serendipity, I guess. Inside it was quiet, and I figured everyone was out enjoying the nice Sunday weather.

  I got into the elevator and, shifting the brown bag to one hand, hit the button for Quinn’s floor.

  The elevator opened and I stepped out.

  “Open the door, Quinn!”

  “Just go away!” I heard Quinn say back.

  Some asshole had his shoulder pressed against Quinn’s door, his foot shoved into the jamb, one arm flailing around on the other side. He was big, his face all red.

  I didn’t say anything. My instincts pushed me past that right away. I dropped the bag and started walking. Something red and hot and dangerous ignited in my chest.

  What the hell does he think he’s doing?

  Whatever it he thought it was, it was a mistake. A big one.

  “God damn it, Quinn! I’m going to break this down in five seconds if you don’t let me in!”

  He pulled his arm out of the door so that he could move his body back farther to get a little bit more momentum into his shoulder.

  I grabbed his shoulder and turned him to face me. His eyes went wide when he saw me, and he started trying to say something, but I didn’t give him the chance.

  I cold-cocked him right in the jaw. The impact sent a shock right up to my shoulder. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me that I didn’t feel anything but that shock.

  His eyes rolled up into his head and head slumped against the door frame. Glass jaw, I thought. A bright, hot bruise already stood out on the side of his face.

  I stood over him, the pain a distant throb in my knuckles that started getting closer. I lifted my hand up to inspect it and saw that a similar bruise had blossomed across my knuckles.

  Part of me wished that he hadn’t fallen so quickly. That desire to hurt him still burned hot in my chest, and I could feel my lips peeled back into a snarl.

  The chain holding Quinn’s door shut jangled when she released it. She opened the door and her eyes went wide when she looked down at the limp man leaning against her door frame.

  “What happened?” she said.

  I got the sudden image of this jackass trying to hurt her and my anger flared up again.

  I shrugged. The ache in my knuckles kept getting hotter and sharper. “I saw him trying to get in and something just came over me.”

  “What are you even doing here?”

  “I came to surprise you… Surprise, I guess?”

  The guy on the floor started waking up. He groaned, his eyes opening one at a time. One hand went up to probe at his jaw and when he touched the bruise he hissed.

  Then a door opened down the hall and a middle-aged guy poked his head out. “Everything all right? I can call the cops if you want?”

  “It’s fine,” Quinn said. She kept looking down at the man and then up at me. I could tell she was trying to decide whether to thank me for intervening or demand to know just what the hell it was I thought I was doing.

  She was one of those types, I knew, who would tell me that she had it all under control. She liked having everything under control, or at least thinking she did.

  All I really cared about was that she was okay.

  The mention of the cops really perked the guy up. His eyes opened wide. “Cops?” he muttered. Panic flashed across his face. Panic that turned to pain when the expression pulled at his bruise. I can’t say I didn’t feel satisfied.

  He got to his feet in a clumsy, drunken way, his hand clutched to his face, and then staggered down the hall towards the stairs. Quinn and I stood out of his way. I was happy that he didn’t want to put up more of a fight, but I wouldn’t have shied away if he had. I had a second fist to break on his face, after all.

  It was then I saw the bag of groceries I’d dropped. Everything had broken or spilled. I groaned in disappointment.

  “Vaughn…” Quinn started.

  I held up my hand and she quieted. “Don’t tell me you had that under control. Because you didn’t.”

  Her face held some mixture of anger and fright, and she kept glancing down the hall as to make sure that he’d really gone.

  “That’s him, isn’t it?” I said.

  “That’s who?” she said, her eyes turning to me. They looked wetter than usual.

  “He’s the guy that hurt you. The one that makes it difficult for you to get close to someone.”

  She turned her eyes down. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Give me a break. You don’t think I can recognize when someone’s hiding something? I told you something about me that I never share with anyone. The least you could do is pay me that same respect.”

  She started looking up at me, but then she saw my hand. “Your knuckles!”

  “It’s fine. Forget about it,” I said, my irritation that she was still holding back on me drowning out the fiery throb slowly working its way up my wrist.

  She took my hand in hers and held it up. “When something turns purple like this, it isn’t fine. Come inside, I have a bag of peas in the freezer.”

  “That guy had a really hard head,” I said. It had been like slamming my fist into a brick wall. Not that I regretted it.

  “You have no idea. Come inside. Here, how’s this?” she asked, pulling the bag of frozen peas from the freezer,
wrapping it in a dish towel and then putting that against my knuckles.

  The pressure of it hurt at first, but then the coolness soaked in. “Nice. Thanks.”

  She had me put my other hand over it to keep it in place and then she went and leaned against the opposite counter. She crossed her arms. I could see her shaking a little, the aftershocks of her adrenaline taking their course on her body.

  I got the sense she wanted me to say something. Something sentimental or melodramatic. Something she could yell at me for being that guy who thought women needed saving or something.

  I didn’t, because I knew she wanted to use it as an excuse to not open up to me. I adjusted the bag on my knuckles so that a fresh cold spot touched them.

  Finally she breathed deeply and then blew her cheeks out in a sigh. She brushed some hair out of her eyes and looked at me. “His name’s Archer. We dated a few years ago, after I finished college but before I started working at C&M. He… wasn’t good to me, but I didn’t know any better and he kept telling me that I wasn’t good enough for anyone else. He drank a lot and I knew he was cheating on me all the time.”

  I wanted to say something but didn’t. I knew she needed to get this off her chest. I also wanted to go find Archer and give him a few more bruises to match the one he had already.

  Quinn started chewing on her thumb nail, a nervous gesture I’d never seen from her before. She realized what she was doing and forced her hand away from her mouth.

  “I started getting my life together, though. I had interviews coming up. I made myself realize that he was the problem, not me. I broke it off and he didn’t like that. I thought he’d moved on by now but I guess not.”

  “He will now,” I said. If what I’d done hadn’t deterred him, I had a team of lawyers on standby. They usually dealt with copyright stuff and other corporate issues, but I was sure that for what I paid them they could take care of Archer, too.

  I didn’t tell Quinn that, though. I knew she’d have none of it. I admired her obstinacy, but that didn’t mean I had to obey it.

  “I hope so. How’s your hand?”