His Perfect Bride?

by Louisa Heaton

  Lula beamed him a smile that could have lit a thousand illuminations. ‘Of course. Is there anything else?’

  How could she be so normal? Other women he’d met and had slept with—not that there’d been a lot—had always wanted more commitment from him. Sex had equalled furthering their relationship. Being in a relationship, for one thing. Wanting to make sure that he wanted to see them again. That he would be hanging around. That they would continue to go out and be a ‘couple’.

  But not Lula. She seemed rather blasé about it and he was thrown.

  However, he wasn’t going to push it. If she wanted that distance between them then he would give it to her. After all, he was the one who had got up in the middle of the early hours of the morning. He was the one who had made up a lie because he’d felt guilty about what he’d done.

  I put the surgery and my patients at risk by sleeping with Lula. What if it had caused problems? Where would we have been then? We’d have had to find another locum.

  Olly knew he was lying to himself. This wasn’t about the surgery. Or the patients. He felt guilty. He’d slept with Lula when she’d been feeling vulnerable and now that she was acting as if the sex didn’t matter he was protecting himself by telling himself that she was the one acting strangely.

  It’s all my fault.

  She was the most beautiful, strange, exotic creature he’d ever met! Last night had been amazing. The caress of her hands on his skin had been mind-blowing. The way her mouth had moved over his body, the way she’d kissed him… It had been like nothing he’d ever experienced before!

  I’d love to feel that way again.

  But Lula was indicating that it had been nothing more than perfunctory sex. No attachments. Nothing amazing for her. Otherwise she’d want more, wouldn’t she?

  Like I do?

  Nonsense!

  Olly slipped from her room and visibly sagged after he’d closed the door behind him. What did he actually want? Lula begging and pleading to see him again? Lula indicating that last night had meant more to her than she was revealing?

  That he meant something to her?

  The idea plagued him. Did he want to mean more to Lula?

  He ambled back to his own room and sat down in front of the computer. He had patients to see. They were waiting. Sick people—people who needed his help and expertise. Coughing and moaning and staring at the hands on the clock in the waiting room.

  That had always mattered to him. He liked to feel needed and valued. He liked the fact that his patients valued his comments and suggestions and came to him for advice.

  But not Lula.

  The one person I want to want me, doesn’t.

  He called his next patient through.

  *

  Lula sat back in her chair after Olly left and closed her eyes. A headache was beginning to form, tightly furled, like a fist ready to punch her with its might.

  She had paracetamol in her handbag and she popped two capsules and swallowed them down with her cold cup of tea from earlier.

  Why did I pretend everything was all right?

  She didn’t want Olly to think of her as a woman who just slept with a man casually, as if it meant nothing. Because she wasn’t like that. Lula Chance did not just sleep with men for fun. The last time she’d slept with a man had been years ago. And that had been in a relationship—nothing casual about it at all.

  Being with Olly last night had meant something. She’d welcomed his arms around her, his lips on hers, the feel of his broad, masculine body above hers, moving within her, bringing her to the release that she’d needed. There’d been a connection. It had meant something.

  The last two days with Ruby and the baby had hit her hard. It had brought forward a lot of emotions she’d thought she’d stamped down. For some reason all those feelings she’d fought for so long had become powerful and raw. Maybe it was because she felt so close to finding her own mother. Or perhaps it was just being here in Atlee Wold with Olly and his wonderful father, seeing how close they were as a family. Her emotions were exposed to the elements and the winter freeze had crystallised them and made them difficult to deal with.

  And Olly…lovely, lovely Olly. His twinkling eyes and warm smile and the way he cared had somehow broken through her defences, making her crave things she’d always denied herself.

  She’d never meant to get involved with anyone. Why do that? Get involved romantically when it could only end badly? Infertility was a big enough burden for her—why force it on to someone else? Why go through all that? Tests and hormones and needles—God, the needles! She’d seen enough of those in her life. Felt the stress, the humiliation of feeling less than other women.

  Women had babies. It was their primary function, wasn’t it? They were the only people who could carry a baby, so that was what they were meant to do.

  What did you do with your life if you couldn’t even do that?

  Her life had already been blighted with cancer, and chemotherapy had made her infertile. She’d decided long ago that she wouldn’t burden anyone else with those concerns. What kind of life would that give them? No, Lula did enough worrying for two as it was.

  Her life was about adventure and travel and meeting new people—experiencing everything the world had to offer until the day came when she couldn’t do it any more.

  It was not about moving to a small, quaint English village and falling for the local GP!

  Have I fallen for Olly?

  No. Of course not. That was ridiculous! She hadn’t known him very long, and one night of sex didn’t create serious feelings.

  So why do I feel so upset that he lied about last night?

  Lula sat there, feeling the edges of the headache prowling around her. She couldn’t even see the pen she was twiddling in her fingers—she was thinking too hard about Olly and how he made her feel.

  I can’t get attached. I have to keep my distance, I’m not staying here.

  Perhaps she needed to plan her next step? Forget Olly, forget how he’d made her feel last night, and especially forget how she’d felt waking up this morning to find him gone. There was no point in dwelling on that. No point in thinking about how much she’d looked forward to coming downstairs and finding him sitting in her kitchen, waiting to kiss her good morning.

  I’ve never had that anyway, so I won’t miss it.

  Sleeping with Olly had been a mistake, no matter how much she’d enjoyed it or how much she craved more of the same. Not just the sex, but the feeling of closeness. The bonding they’d shared just for a few hours…

  Stop it!

  She had to think of it as a mistake. If she didn’t she’d go insane. She couldn’t have Olly. He wanted a different future from the one she could provide.

  I am not here for anything else but finding my mother.

  That was what her coming to Atlee Wold was all about. Finding her mother at last. Learning the truth about her past and then moving on to experience the next thing. Maybe keeping in contact with her mother if she wished it.

  Lula looked at the names on the piece of paper in front of her.

  Eleanor Lomax.

  Elizabeth Love.

  Edward Loutham.

  The Louthams had to be ruled out, didn’t they? Bonnie had said that there was only Edward Loutham with an ‘E’ name in that family, as far as she knew. And even she didn’t think that her mother had changed sex and fathered some children!

  So he’s ruled out.

  That left two names. Two women. One of whom she’d met in Olly’s surgery.

  Eleanor Lomax.

  The woman who’d survived breast cancer. The woman with a sister called Brenda in the next village over.

  Lula thought back to their meeting. Eleanor had been very elegant. Silver-haired already, so Lula had no idea if her original hair colour had been dark like her own. But their eyes were the same colour. Was that enough to go on? She’d said she took care of herself. Didn’t like to lean on anyone else for help. Much like Lula. W
as that enough?

  Then there was the enigmatic Elizabeth Love. A woman Olly didn’t know much about. A woman who apparently ran an animal sanctuary and kept herself to herself.

  I know nothing else about her. I don’t even know what she looks like. I’m really chasing my own tail here.

  It was frustrating. To be so close and yet so far. And the other thing Lula had to consider was that neither of those women had anything to do with her! They might just be complete strangers. Random women with the same initials as a woman who’d once written something in a letter. Even those initials could have been fake. Something to throw people off the trail.

  What if I’m chasing smoke? What if my mother never even came from here and in reality I’m miles away from finding out the truth?

  Lula groaned and put the paper back in her pocket. Then she took it back out again. There really was nothing else for her to go on. If she didn’t check out these two leads then she’d never forgive herself.

  Lula found the women’s addresses on the surgery’s system and went online to look at a street map of Atlee Wold. Eleanor Lomax lived just down the road from the surgery on Church Drive. Elizabeth Love lived out on Burner’s Road, just down from the farm. She’d need to drive to that one.

  Eleanor first, then.

  She picked up her phone, pressing nine for an outside line, and dialled Eleanor’s number. It was answered quickly.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Miss Lomax?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Hello, there. My name’s Dr Chance. I’m calling from the local surgery. I sat in with you and Dr James during your consultation the other day.’

  ‘Oh…yes…is something wrong?’

  ‘No—no! I just…erm…well, I wondered whether I might pop round after lunch and see you?’

  There was a pause. ‘What about?’

  Lula felt awkward. ‘It’s a private matter. I’d prefer to discuss it in person, if that’s okay?’

  There was a sound of irritation, and then, ‘I suppose so. But I’m going out at two o’clock—you’ll have to be quick.’

  Lula had seen all her morning patients. ‘Could I come round now?’

  Eleanor agreed and Lula said goodbye and grabbed her coat. Church Drive wasn’t far—she’d walk.

  She let the practice manager know she was popping out briefly. ‘But I’ll be back in about an hour if you want to prepare the home visit list.’ It was Lula’s turn to do the home visits on her own.

  She was just about to escape the surgery when Olly’s door opened and he instantly spotted her, dressed in her coat, hat and boots.

  ‘Going somewhere?’

  Lula didn’t want to discuss the matter in front of the others, so she went over to him and whispered, ‘I’m going to see Eleanor Lomax.’

  He stared deep into her eyes and she felt guilty for trying to sneak away.

  ‘I’ll come with you.’

  ‘You’ve got patients.’

  ‘I’ve just finished. Let me grab my coat.’

  She waited, feeling awkward and unsure. She’d wanted to do this alone, but he seemed determined to tag along. She couldn’t fault him for trying to help her, but she’d really wanted to sneak away. Get some distance between her and Olly so she could make plans to finalise her departure from Atlee Wold.

  Out in the snow, she buttoned up her coat, enjoying the bright morning sunshine on her face. As they walked past gardens she could actually see evidence of melting. Icicles dripped and more bushes and greenery could be seen than a few days ago.

  ‘Spring’s coming, don’t you think?’ Olly asked.

  ‘There’s definitely a thaw.’

  Lula loved the snow, but hated slush, and she hoped that if it were all about to melt it would do so quickly. No point in making everywhere a mess.

  They passed a red-breasted robin, perched on a stone wall, and then the church and graveyard, with the old stones sticking up from the ground like teeth.

  Soon they were standing outside Eleanor’s door, ringing the bell, their noses red from the cold.

  Eleanor answered, looking cosy in a mohair jumper, skirt and thick tights, a string of pearls about her neck.

  ‘Oh, I wasn’t expecting both of you. Come in.’

  She walked them through to her lounge and Lula looked about for clues. Pictures—anything that might indicate that this woman’s past was connected to hers. But there was nothing. Eleanor’s furniture was expensive, and beautifully chosen, but the only pictures about the place were works by artists: hunting scenes, a landscape, a kingfisher perched above a river.

  ‘So—I’m intrigued. What’s this all about? Is it my cancer?’

  Lula shook her head. ‘Nothing to do with your health. Not now. This is awkward, but I’d like you to bear with me.’

  ‘Go on.’ Eleanor sat opposite, her hands clasped neatly on her lap, her back as erect as it had been in the surgery.

  ‘This is about me, really, Miss Lomax.’

  ‘Call me Eleanor, dear.’

  ‘Eleanor. I’m just a locum here, as you know, but I’m not only here in Atlee Wold to work. I’m here to…to search for my mother.’

  Eleanor was listening, but her face showed nothing. No surprise, no awkwardness, no indication that long ago she’d had a secret child and abandoned her on a beach.

  ‘I believe my mother is in this village. She left a letter, signing it with the initials EL, and I think she was from Atlee Wold. I’m trying to track her down.’

  The older woman frowned for a moment, then her eyebrows were raised. ‘You think…? EL…? You think it might be me? Oh, dear! I can assure you it’s not.’

  Lula felt Olly look at her and could almost physically feel his sympathy radiating from across the room.

  She must have visibly sagged in her seat, for Eleanor continued, ‘I’m so sorry to disappoint you, Dr Chance, but I’m not the lady you’re looking for.’

  Lula bit her lip and cast her gaze down to the floor. ‘Have you always lived here, Eleanor?’

  ‘I was born in the back room—so, yes, I have.’

  ‘Do you recall anyone getting pregnant and going away? Coming back without a baby?’

  Eleanor shook her head and was silent for a moment. ‘Many things have happened here in Atlee Wold in my lifetime. I can’t be expected to remember everything. Maybe… I don’t know…’

  ‘If I asked you about…someone else…would you tell me what you know?’

  ‘It depends on who it is, my dear. I might know nothing, and even if I did would it be my secret to tell? I’m not sure that would be right of me.’

  Lula nodded. ‘I appreciate that.’

  ‘Who do you want to know about?’

  ‘You might not know her. Apparently she keeps herself to herself. Even Dr James knows nothing about her. Elizabeth Love? On Burner’s Road?’

  Eleanor took in a deep breath. ‘I know Lizzy. We used to go to school together.’

  Lula sat up again on the edge of her seat. ‘You did?’

  ‘I haven’t seen her for years, though. You’re right about her hiding away. She prefers to talk to her animals and most people round here call her Dr Dolittle. I’ve seen her once or twice, picking up groceries in the village shop, but it’s just an acknowledgement. We don’t stand and talk.’

  ‘Why not?’

  Eleanor shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. I left the village school aged fourteen to go to secretarial college and she dropped off my radar, to be honest. She was a good friend. A nice girl. Bit too trusting, but she was nice. You think she might be your mother?’

  ‘I don’t know. She’s the only other EL in the village that I could find on the electoral roll. Unless you know of any others?’

  Eleanor glanced at her watch. ‘I don’t. And I’m afraid I’m going to have to rush you away. I have an appointment.’

  Lula nodded and stood up. So now Eleanor Lomax was crossed off the list. All she had left was Elizabeth Love as a possibility, and if that was wrong, too
…

  Where would she go from there? There was nowhere else to go. She could contact the Salvation Army, maybe, or see if Social Services had any records on her, but the chances of finding her mother would be slim.

  Outside, Olly laid his hand on hers. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  She shrugged. ‘It’s not your fault, is it?’

  ‘No. But I still wish I could make you feel better.’

  Oh, he could. By taking her in his arms and kissing her, smothering her with his mouth and his body, pulling at her clothes and taking her madly, as he’d never taken anyone before… But that wasn’t going to happen.

  Lula looked up at his bright blue eyes. ‘I need to find her, Olly.’

  A gloved finger stroked her cheek. ‘I know.’

  She wanted to kiss him then. Wanted it more than she’d ever wanted to do anything in the whole wide world. But she couldn’t. She needed to separate from him. Stop relying on him to make her feel better.

  I’m a lone spirit. I take care of myself.

  Back at the surgery, Lula made herself a fresh cup of tea and sat in the staffroom, mulling over the events of the last few days. She couldn’t call Elizabeth. She didn’t have a number listed in the surgery records. All she could do was turn up unannounced and hope for the best.

  But I’ve had enough disappointment for today. Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow. It might have thawed some more and it’ll be easier to park Betsy.

  Do I want to go alone?

  For some reason Lula felt as if this was her last-ditch attempt at trying to track down her mother, and that she’d like some moral support. That would be okay, wouldn’t it? Would Olly go with her? Or maybe his father? All she needed was a friend.

  No. She wanted Olly with her. It felt right—especially after the closeness they’d shared.

  She took her tea to his room to ask him, but he’d gone. Disappointed, needing to see his smiling face, she decided to pop round to his house and ask him personally if he’d go with her tomorrow. There was no harm in that, was there? It was the sort of favour you’d ask of a friend, and if Olly was anything to her he was most definitely a friend.

  Because I can’t have him any other way.