A doting Eli reluctantly handed Caitlin back to Jacey. “I wish I could hang out with you all day and hold the baby,” he said, “but this is one activity they need my help on.”
“We always need you, Dad,” Rafferty said, clapping a hand on Eli’s shoulder.
“Uh-huh. Seems to me this ranch is running fine without me most of the time.”
“If so, it’s because I had a great teacher,” Rafferty said.
He and his dad exchanged smiles that left Jacey unexpectedly aching for her mother, and the father she never knew. She ducked her head, working to contain her emotion as the men trooped out.
The bunkhouse was extraordinarily quiet.
Too quiet, really.
Quiet to the point of being lonely.
Jacey pressed a kiss to the top of Caitlin’s head and settled her into the wind-up swing to watch, while Jacey did the dishes.
The door to the bunkhouse opened.
Rafferty strode back in.
Her heart skipped a beat.
They hadn’t had a moment alone since he had left her bed the night before, well before his father got back from town.
“Forget something?” Jacey asked.
Rafferty nodded and kept coming toward her. He took her by the shoulders and tugged her close. “This.”
Jacey saw the kiss coming, knew if she was smart she would have avoided it. She wasn’t smart where Rafferty was concerned. She was reckless. Foolishly vulnerable and needy—everything she had sworn never to be.
Her previous relationships had been sensible and comfortable. This interaction with Rafferty was anything but practical. It was skyrockets and fireworks and the sweet taste of peppermint melting on her tongue. It was hot, sexy male coupled with a newly awakened woman, and heaven help her, she did not know what to do to get it back under control.
Finally, when her senses were swimming with the taste, touch and feel of him, he lifted his head.
She swallowed. “I thought we were going to keep this quiet.” Kissing like this—in the bunkhouse of all places—was reckless as all get-out!
The look he gave her was unapologetic. “Caitlin won’t tell.”
Jacey aimed a playful punch at the center of his chest. “You know what I mean, cowboy.”
He smiled and sifted his fingers through her hair. “They’re all out on the ranch, looking for fence in need of repair.”
And she was already in way, way over her head. Falling hard for a man who couldn’t even bring himself to celebrate Christmas. “Then what are you doing here?” she asked, stepping back slightly.
He caught her wrist before she could make her escape, lifted her hand and kissed the back of her knuckles. “I’ve got a phone call to make.”
The simple touch threw her senses into a riot, made her think of trembling bodies and damp, rumpled sheets. “Is that what you were doing?”
He tugged her closer still. “I will be, as soon as we’re done here. And the cowboys were right,” he continued tenderly. “You are beautiful this morning, extraordinarily so.”
She wondered what it would be like if they had met some other time, some other way. Her breath came even more erratically. “Listen, Rafferty, I know what you’re thinking—”
“Do you?”
“—but that’s not going to get you back in the sack with me.” Not today. Not again, until they both had time to absorb what had happened and make sure this was what they both wanted.
He rubbed his thumb across her lower lip. “I don’t want to be back in the sack with you this morning.” His voice deepened. “When that happens again, I want to be able to take my time.”
She wanted that, too. Struggling to get her emotions under control, Jacey murmured. “Like you did last night.”
He leaned down, so his face was next to hers. “Like we did last night.”
It was all she could do not to throw herself at him again.
His eyes darkened. “Seriously, Jacey, I don’t know if I can do this—keep it quiet. ’Cause right now I want to shout it to the world.”
“I think we have to,” she said. “At least until after the holidays and we see if this is going to be more than a fling.”
He shook his head ruefully. “You insist on having one foot out the door.”
“Taking this one day at a time is the only way I’m going to be comfortable.”
“Okay,” he said gently. “I can see I’m rushing you…so I’ll pull back.”
“Thank you.”
“I still want to spend time with you, Jacey.”
She wanted that, too. She just didn’t think it was wise until she sorted out her feelings. “You know what will happen if we’re alone.” What always happened when they were alone.
He shrugged. “Then bring Caitlin.”
Jacey gave Rafferty an admonishing look. “She’s proven to be a very poor chaperone. All she does is eat and sleep.”
“And smile and cuddle. And make everyone else smile, too.”
The tenderness in his tone made her heart melt. “The fellas do love her,” Jacey conceded. Every cowboy on the ranch, from Eli down to the youngest hand, seemed to have a soft spot for her daughter.
“We all love her, Jacey,” Rafferty reiterated. He looked her in the eye. “Just as we’re all fond of you. But that’s not what you and I are talking about, and you know it.”
Yes, she did. She just didn’t know what to do.
“At the very least, you and I should be able to spend time together as friends. Say, on Saturday?”
Jacey bit her lip, aware his persistence was wearing her down. “It would have to be in a way that doesn’t draw undue attention.”
He leaned forward to kiss her quickly, said confidently, “Leave that to me.”
“HOW COME YOU got all those college catalogs and applications in the mail today?” Stretch asked over dinner that night in the bunkhouse.
There had been an embarrassing array of business-school applications and brochures in the mail that afternoon. “My sister Mindy requested them,” Jacey explained.
“You want to go back to college?” Curly said.
No, Jacey thought, suppressing a sigh, she did not.
“Then why does she think you do?” Hoss asked.
Aware Rafferty was looking at her with an even bigger question in his eyes, Jacey replied, “Because Mindy wants me to do more with my life, always has.”
“What’s wrong with being a ranch cook?” Red huffed.
“Jacey is a property manager by profession,” Eli interjected.
Rafferty looked at Jacey, as if it didn’t matter to him one way or another. “Do you want to go back to that?” he asked.
She had.
“Yeah, did you like doing that for a living?” Hoss asked.
Aware all eyes were on her, Jacey nodded. “I enjoyed making people happy, and really that’s all it is, making sure people’s needs are met when it comes to their residences.”
“Which is kind of what you do here, too,” Curly flashed her his usual grin.
Hoss patted his full belly. “Make us all happy and content.”
Everyone nodded approvingly—except for Rafferty, who was busy contemplating what little remained of the beef brisket, potato salad, beans and slaw on his plate. He avoided her eyes the rest of dinner. Eli was a little too quiet, too. It didn’t take long to find out why. As soon as she returned to the house and put Caitlin down, Eli asked to speak to Jacey in the living room. Rafferty was there, too.
“Dad has something he wants to talk to you about,” Rafferty said.
“Since I’m the one who hired you, I think I should be the one to talk to you about when it is you might be leaving. Or even if you still plan to leave,” Eli said. There was no pressure in the older gentleman’s tone, just the need to know. Rafferty was equally poker-faced.
And suddenly Jacey knew what she had to do, even though it went against all her instincts. “I agreed to stay temporarily—through the holidays. And I think we s
hould stick to that,” she stated firmly, telling herself that no matter what eventually happened between her and Rafferty, terminating her position would definitely be for the best.
Ignoring the searching look in Rafferty’s eyes, she swallowed hard and forced herself to go on, as if this were any other business discussion. “You two both know I’m looking for a job in my profession, following up on leads. At this point, I don’t have anything solid, but that isn’t to say I won’t get an interview tomorrow.” Especially if she was a little more aggressive in going after the tips she had been given.
She paused. “If you’d like me to help you look for a new cook—or screen applicants—I could do that. I’ve got experience interviewing and hiring employees at the properties I’ve managed, and I know the men’s likes and dislikes.”
She thought but couldn’t be sure she saw a brief flash of hurt and disappointment in Rafferty’s blue eyes. “We’re not trying to push you into leaving,” he interjected quietly.
“Certainly not,” Eli added quickly. “The fellas all love you, Jacey, and Rafferty and I—we both feel like you’re a member of the Lost Mountain Ranch family.”
The problem was, Jacey thought, she wanted to be so much more than that.
RAFFERTY WAITED until his father retired for the evening before he searched out Jacey. She was in his study, seated behind his desk, looking intently at the advertisements they had been running for ranch cook. The sight of her so focused brought home the fact that she had a whole other life she was eager to get back to.
Pushing aside the fear that, like his late wife, Jacey was never going to be happy on the ranch long-term, he said, “Thanks for offering to find and screen applicants. We still on for Saturday?”
“Sure. Figure out what we’re going to do yet?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Good. Listen—” she motioned for him to take a seat on the opposite side “—I think you need to start by running your ad in something other than area newspapers. You’re only reaching locals, who probably already have jobs in restaurants, and that’s a whole different arena. You need to start placing ads on Web sites that focus on jobs in the food industry. If you would prefer not to pay the fee for that—”
“We’ll pay it.”
“—you can go to some of the culinary schools around the state, and let them know what you are looking for in a chef. Someone right out of school, looking to further their experience, might jump at the chance to work here.”
They were all great ideas, exactly what he would have expected from someone as bright and innovative as Jacey. He would have jumped on them in an instant if he had wanted to replace her.
“What’s the problem?” She set down her pen.
Rafferty figured he might as well be honest. “We’re never going to find anyone as perfect as you.”
She flushed and turned away. “Sure you will.”
She didn’t look any happier about leaving Lost Mountain Ranch than he was. “I don’t think so.” He got up quietly and went around to sit on the edge of the desk, facing her. “And the men don’t think so, either.”
She rocked back in the chair. “It’ll be better, Rafferty,” she said in a low, strangled voice.
Right now, he wasn’t seeing how.
“And there are other considerations besides how messy this could get, if we…”
“Continue our affair?” he guessed.
The flush in her cheeks deepened. “And there is my duty to my daughter.” She pushed back the desk chair, stood and began to pace. “I’m going to have to put Caitlin through college one day, and pay for a lot of stuff along the way. I need to place myself in a situation that will offer a lot more potential for advancement.”
It was a valid concern. Still, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He stood, too. “So you are going back to property management.”
She pivoted to face him. “Probably, at least in the short run,” she confirmed. Silence fell. She met his eyes. “Once I’m back in the city, I’ll have more options. I can keep looking for something better.” She shrugged and sighed. “Maybe eventually do what I’ve talked about for years, and open my own business.”
This was news. “What kind of business?”
Her lips curved in a self-conscious smile. “Believe it or not, I’ve always wanted to own a kitchenware and cookbook shop. Kind of like a down-home, Texas version of Williams-Sonoma.”
Rafferty smiled back. “I could see you doing that.”
Her eyes lit up. “I love to cook. Love cookbooks. Particularly love gadgets that make things in the kitchen a whole lot easier. But—” she went back to pacing restlessly “—that again would take cash to get going, and I don’t want to spend my entire savings on something that might or might not work out. Not when I have Caitlin to consider. But enough about that. Back to this ad.” She sank down in the chair and picked up her paper and pen, all business once again. “Let’s try to craft one together that will attract the kind of employee you need.”
No more eager to see her go than before, Rafferty rubbed his jaw. “Let’s see. Gorgeous, pregnant, lost…no, that was you.”
Her laughter filled the room. “Very funny, cowboy.”
Serious now, Rafferty inched closer. With effort, he kept his hands to himself. “It won’t be the same around here without you.”
Emotion flickered in her eyes, then disappeared. “You’ll get over it,” she told him calmly.
Rafferty didn’t think so. But sensing Jacey did not want to hear that right now, he let it go and went back to the work at hand. He had ten days to get Jacey to see that being a city girl wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, ten days to get her to change her mind and convince her to stay on Lost Mountain Ranch. Ten days until Christmas to make his case.
He better get a move-on.
Chapter Ten
“No one has ever sewn me a Christmas stocking before,” Hoss told Jacey the following evening.
“They’re real pretty,” Gabby agreed.
“We ought to hang ’em on the mantel right now,” Curly declared.
“Put yours and Caitlin’s up there, too,” Eli directed with a smile.
Glad the mantel was large and long enough to hold that many stockings, Jacey got them all tacked up, until only one was left. A glance at the embroidered lettering across the tip showed it belonged to Rafferty—who was typically, when the holiday atmosphere heated up—nowhere in sight.
“Where did Rafferty go?” Jacey asked, exasperated she hadn’t seen the lonesome rancher slip out in the after-dinner activity.
“He said somethin’ about checking on one of the horses down in the barn,” Red remarked.
Probably, Jacey thought, so he wouldn’t have to ooh and aah over the new decorations. Heaven forbid he actually get all the way into the spirit, along with everyone else. She imagined he figured that it was enough when he occasionally did peripheral stuff, like put lights on a tree. Without actively enjoying himself. “Do you think Rafferty wants his up here or at the house?” Jacey asked Eli matter-of-factly.
Eli shrugged. “You’ll have to ask him.”
Deciding she wasn’t going to let Rafferty backslide from the small but significant progress they’d already made, Jacey decided. “All right. I will. You fellas keep an eye on Caitlin for me?”
“Absolutely.” Stretch spoke for the cowboys. “We’ve all got to have our turn to give her a cuddle before she goes off to the main house for the night, you know.”
They weren’t kidding about that, Jacey thought. There was no end to the grumbling if everyone didn’t get their turn to interact with the bunkhouse baby. Grinning, Jacey grabbed her fitted black suede jacket off the coatrack by the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I talk some holiday cheer into you-know-who.”
“Good luck with that!” The men were still chuckling when Jacey slipped out the door of the bunkhouse and walked across the yard to the barn. The night was crisp and cold. A full moon shone overhead.
&n
bsp; She stepped into the barn. Rafferty was just outside a stall, toward the end. He had what looked like a first-aid kit in his hand. She strode toward him, trying not to notice how good he looked, in a pine-green shirt, dark denim jeans and boots. The set of his clean-shaven jaw gave him a sexy, don’t-mess-with-me look that sent another tingle of excitement down her spine.
“What are you doing?” she demanded, stopping a short distance away.
His probing glance made a leisurely tour of her body before returning to her eyes. “Exactly what it looks like—applying liniment and bandages to Rocket’s sore leg,” he told her.
Guilt washed through Jacey as she realized the beautiful bay’s front right leg did look a little swollen, from ankle to knee joint. “How did he get hurt?”
Hunkering down, Rafferty packed ice around the bandages and secured it with elastic bandage. “He overdid it a little bit today, when we were out chasing down some stray cattle. He’s not as young as he used to be.”
He straightened and ran a soothing hand down the horse’s neck. Rocket leaned into his touch, nickering softly in response.
Rafferty gave him another pat, and a piece of apple, then shut the stall door. He hung the first-aid kit on a hook on the wall and headed for the metal sink.
Jacey watched him lather up. “You’re good at this.”
He shot her a knowing smile. “Thank you.”
“So good I have to wonder why you didn’t finish vet school.”
He tore off a square of paper towel and dried his palms. He hooked his thumbs in the belt loops on either side of his jeans. “Because one semester in, I knew I didn’t want to spend all my time taking care of animals,” he said. “I wanted to run a whole ranch. Manage the grasses, make the numbers work, find the right cowboys for the job and make ’em family. So I came back here.”
Aware she would be wise not to press him on this, Jacey lounged against the tack-room wall. “Looks like you’ve done a good job here, too.”
He leaned in close and rested a forearm aside of her head. A second later, he was standing directly in front of her. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to butter me up.”
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