Sheikh's Virgin Love-Slave

by Brooke, Jessica

  When he spoke, his voice was soft, but there was an undercurrent of strength there, something that would not be denied. "Darling, that article is conjecture and borderline libel."

  "Jahin..."

  "Listen to me now, please. I had to listen to you spout the most ridiculous nonsense for a few minutes there, and I expect to be repaid for that rather unpleasant experience." He smiled slightly to take the sting out of his words.

  "Layla and I have been friends for a long time, off and on. It is more or less inevitable if you were raised the way that we were. We went to the same parties, we know the same people, and generally we have many of the same views.

  "But that must have been a very slow news cycle if they trotted out the idea that Layla and I are looking to get together. Articles come out like that nearly every week or so, matching me with an eligible woman that I have been sighted with, matching her with anything male in the vicinity. It's a dead bore under the best of times, and irritating and frustrating most of the rest of the time."

  "So it wasn't true?"

  'I'm sure that some parts of it are true," Jahin said with a shrug. "We are friends, we care about each other a great deal. We support each other when we are on the same committees and delegations. I thin you would actually like her very much, and if you wished, I could certainly set up an arranged meeting for the two of you. But the gist of the article? That we might decide to take each other's hand in marriage? That is very false, and if you go back to look, I'll bet it was never said outright. Just sort of implied until you were certain that they must have said it."

  When she thought about it, she could quickly see that Jahin had the right of it. There was very little in the article that pointed to a real match, and she sagged against him in relief. For one brief and shining moment, everything was all right. Everything was the way it had been.

  Then reality intruded, and she knew that very little would be the same again.

  "It wasn't true this time," she said softly, "but it will be at some point, won't it?"

  He paused for a moment. "How do you mean?"

  "I mean...at some point, you really will want to marry someone. Someone appropriate. Someone who may not be Layla, but will certainly be like her."

  Jahin sighed, and instead of letting her go, he simply held her a little tighter. If she didn't know better, she would have believed that he was unwilling to let her go, upset and saddened at the idea, but that couldn't be right.

  "Someday," he said finally. "Someday, I will be called to do my duty, and my duty is to marry and to produce an heir, just like it is my duty to lead my people in times of peace and war. Someday...this will all change, and it will...be something that we both have to deal with. Sometimes, life provides us with no easy options."

  She twisted out of his arms to look at him. He must have seen the panic in her, because he reached out to run a finger, feather light, over her cheek.

  "That is someday," he said quietly. "This is now. This is the now that I have wanted without ever knowing that I have wanted it, and it is one that I will keep for as long as I am able. This is what I have with you, and I do not want to lose it sooner than we have to."

  On that, they both agreed, and she nodded reluctantly.

  "You will likely see those articles in the future," he said. "In fact, I am a little surprised that you have not run into it before."

  "And what should I do when I see them?" Bedelia asked, her voice quiet and level.

  The smile he gave her was brilliant, small but honest and perfectly him. In this moment, it was as if his eyes lit up from inside with some kind of secret fire.

  "When you see them, you should ignore them because you are an intelligent woman who knows better. Alternately...simply have faith in me. Have faith in the fact that I cherish you, and that I will not lie to you."

  His words had comforted her at least a little, but that night as they lay in each other's arms, she wondered. Being cherished was different from being loved, she knew that.

  Now that the thought had occurred to her, it refused to stop, and she wondered a little wildly when it would all end. How it would end.

  Who he would move on to next.

  ***

  AFTER BEDELIA’S UNFORTUNATE discovery of the newspaper, Jahin lay awake for a long time. He knew she did as well, but he could tell when she dropped off to sleep, uttering a sigh that was little more than a dry sob. Her sadness and confusion struck him like a hammer, but he had no idea what to do.

  The truth was that she was right. At some point, the newspapers would be true when they talked about him with this princess or that duchess. He had been hearing the mutters for years about how it was time for him to wed, and now that he had turned thirty, they were getting louder.

  A young man's taste for the bachelor life was one thing, but his elders had always said that people liked to see who was going to be running the country in years to come. Without a clear succession, there could be trouble, and with it came the vulture-like attentions of foreign competitors, and even other emirates. It was a duty his parents had been very careful to hammer into him before they died, and it was one he took to heart.

  He knew they would not have approved of the length or depth of his affair with Bedelia, and looking down at the woman who slept next to him, he felt a deep stab of injustice at that. Bedelia, who looked at the world with courage and curiosity, who didn't have a cruel or malicious bone in her body, would have been looked down upon, and he had to stop his fists from curling in rage.

  But...wasn't he the cruel one?

  He was painfully aware that the only reason she was with him now was because he had offered to show her Muneazil as no foreigner ever saw it. Muneazil was a beautiful land, harsh and lovely by turns, and he had held it over her like a bargaining chip. He could still remember the look of shock on her face as she’d realized what he was demanding, and that twinge of guilt rose up a little further.

  If he was going to be truly kind to her, if he was going to be truly a decent man, as he was raised to be, as he was told that he had to be, he would let her go.

  He would wake up in the morning, tell her how sorry he was for all of this, and tell her that she was free to go, to walk his emirate and the UAE at large like any other tourist or researcher. Because the truth was, eventually, one day the headline would be true, and whether she loved him or not, she would be hurt. No one liked to be replaced, and that was exactly what was going to happen. In the most brutal and practical terms, one day he would have to marry someone suitable, and that person wouldn't be a little foreigner with no ties, no money, nothing but the biggest heart and the most breathtaking smile he had ever seen.

  She whimpered a little in her sleep, and he realized somewhat guiltily that he had been hanging on to her tightly. He loosened his grip, but the truth was plain.

  There was no way he could let her go before he absolutely had to. There was no way in the world that he was willing to let her go before she let go herself. The time that they had spent together...it was too important, and he knew that from this moment on, he had to cherish every moment that they did get together.

  The word thudded in his mind and in his heart. Love. It was there, and it slept in his arms. Someday, perhaps someday very soon, there would be a reckoning, and that love would walk away from him.

  Jahin had always thought that he was a strong man, but in the face of this pain, a part of him wanted to break down and howl. It could not face the possibility of losing her without a fight. It could not take the possibility that she would no longer be there.

  He looked down at her sleeping face, a faint frown on her brow. He gently touched her face, and the frown smoothed out to a soft smile, possibly the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

  "Forgive me, beautiful one," he whispered. "I do not wish to let you go..."

  Chapter Eleven

  Things returned to normal for the next two weeks or so. There was something dark and grim waiting in the wings, but now that sh
e knew its face and shape, Bedelia knew how to avoid it. She concentrated on her work, she concentrated on Jahin. She never thought about tomorrow.

  Jahin, for his part, seemed to focus all of his attention on her when he could. He made time for his governance and for the business concerns that belonged to the royal family, but otherwise, he was with Bedelia.

  Somehow, for some reason, they couldn't keep their hands off of each other after that night. In her more thoughtful moments, Bedelia likened it to two people who knew that the end was nigh. Why wouldn't you kiss and make love when the world was going to end?

  Almost two weeks after their discussion, she called Miller.

  "There you are, Lindow," he snapped. "Where the hell have your reports been? I've been waiting almost twenty-four hours, and believe you me, this is not what I bloody well pay for..."

  "You won't be paying for it anymore at all," she said, her voice cold and distant. "I quit."

  There was a solid pause on the line that was so quiet she wondered if he had heard her at all.

  "What the hell do you mean, you quit?" he raged. "I don't pay you to gallivant all over the damned Middle East for you to leave me high and dry!"

  "You certainly do not," Bedelia said. "And I am done with you. I have given you more time and effort than you deserve, and for what? A bad paycheck and the knowledge that I am going to be contributing to one more crappy spy novel?"

  Miller's gasp was almost operatic, so over-the-top that she had stop herself from laughing. She didn't know why she wanted to spare her old boss that much, but she did.

  "You can deposit my last check into the same account that you always have," she continued, "and before you quibble with me about price, let me tell you that I know exactly how much you owe me. Down to the penny. If you try to shortchange me...I will go after it, and I will make you sorry. I have made some very good friends in the UAE, and I am sure that they want you to be fair."

  She knew that the message had gotten through, because Miller simply started swearing. He was careful, however, not to direct all of that swearing at her, and after a few more moments, she quietly ended the call.

  He was right about one thing. The pay he was giving her was becoming rapidly inadequate for her to continue reporting on the locations she was visiting. The places were beautiful, and some of them were holy, and some of them were remote, and some of them were all three. There was something beyond sacred about them, and to have them used in the backdrop of some dumb spy thriller, ones where Jahin and his beloved people were never more than the victims at best and the scenery chewing villains at worst, that was something that she could not bear to have on her conscience.

  After she quit Miller's assignment, Bedelia felt immediately lighter and more free. Suddenly it felt as if she was completely herself, and she could be completely with Jahin. She pushed away the thought that he would never be completely with her. This was a victory of sorts, and she was determined to celebrate it.

  Jahin was pleased that she had left Miller, who he had always thought was a wretch of the first order, but he was less pleased at how fatigued Bedelia looked at dinner that night.

  "I know it is never a good idea to say this," he murmured, "but are you all right? You look pale and troubled."

  She laughed a little, but even she could hear the weary note in it.

  "You are making me sound like some kind of fainting Victorian maiden," she teased. "I'm probably still reeling from quitting, that's all."

  Jahin looked unconvinced, but he nodded. "If you continue to feel poorly, please speak to my physician. He is quite good, and if there is something wrong, it is always better to see to it sooner rather than later."

  Bedelia hardly disagreed, but she didn't feel bad, exactly. She felt a little tired, and she felt a little worried, but beyond that, she was still able to run and walk and hike and make love to Jahin. She was sure that she was simply a little stressed or under the weather, and the fatigue would go away.

  It didn't, however, and one day while she was dozing in the corner of the couch at the penthouse, an explanation occurred to her.

  "No," she whispered in shock. "No, it can't be..."

  She checked her calendar, counting back over the four months that she had been with Jahin, in his house, in his arms, making love to him. She thought of the IUD she’d had inserted several years ago, how she was supposed to check its placement every month, and how she never did. A panicked examination in the bathroom proved her fears, and now she was confronted with the reality that had never occurred to her before, not even for a moment.

  She was pregnant.

  Somehow, Bedelia stumbled to the living room again, her eyes wide. She felt as if she couldn't breathe, as if her head was lighter than air. Surely there was no way she could be pregnant, but she quickly realized that this was nothing more than denial. She took a deep breath, which seemed to help, and she made herself face facts.

  Her mind spun, and slowly the pieces fell into place. She had been feeling so tired lately. Her moods had been all over the place, and when Jahin had left this last trip, she had seen him out the door before crying stormily in the living room. The intensity of her emotion frightened her, but Bedelia had assumed that was just another indication that she was in over her head as far as Jahin was concerned.

  This...this was something else.

  There's nothing confirmed until I've taken a test, she thought, and shrugging on her coat, she headed out to get a test. It was as simple and straightforward to get one as she had suspected it would be, but on the way back, she caught sight of a news box that had yet another story in it about Jahin and another woman, this one an Italian countess.

  Though the test was burning a hole in her pocket, she couldn't stop herself from staring at the picture. He had told her to ignore them, that they would keep on going together as long as they could, but there was something about the pictures that always ate away at her. She believed Jahin that they were nothing more than innocent photos, and she had read enough of the articles at this point to know they were nothing more than fluff and speculation.

  This is the man I love, she thought, and she wondered at how it felt to really admit that to herself for the first time. She truly did love him, and when she was being honest with herself, it felt like a knife every time she saw one of those articles. She knew that for the duration of time they were together, there would never be an end to them.

  Bedelia forced herself to keep walking. There was nothing to be gained from staring at things that were going to hurt her. Right now, she needed to take action, and the more she thought about it, the more likely it was that she was going to need to take action while Jahin was out of town, while she still had the ability to act and move independently.

  She read the instructions carefully, grateful that they were in English as well as in Arabic, and after she set the stick aside, she had five minutes to pace and worry.

  What was he going to do when he found out? What was he going to say, and what would he think? What if he thought she had planned this in a weak attempt to trap him? Would he send her from his side in disgust?

  A spasm of fear wracked her body as she had a new thought. What if he wanted to take the baby away from her? The two of them had never really spoken about children, but she had heard him talk more than once about his bloodline. His duty was to his country, and his duty was to produce heirs. What would happen when he realized that his firstborn child was going to be produced by a woman with no money, no pedigree, with no property to boast of?

  She hugged herself, suddenly cold. It was hard to imagine Jahin playing the part of a cruel landowner in some Victorian play, but she knew very well that he saw things differently than she did. He was literally the law of the land in Muneazil. She was a foreigner of no account, without even fame or money to protect her. What did this mean for them?

  Her phone chirped, absurdly cheerful, to tell her that the test was done. She ventured into the bathroom feeling as if she were walking to
her doom. When she got there, it was almost an anticlimax to see that her suspicions had been correct.

  She was pregnant, and now she needed to decide what she was going to do about it.

  Strangely enough, the first thing that Bedelia wanted to do was nap. The emotional exhaustion of the morning was catching up with her, and she looked down at her belly ruefully.

  "If you could just let up a little so that I could decide what to do, kiddo, that would be great," she murmured.

  Somehow, speaking to her child like that made it feel more real. Right now, it only had her to protect it against the world, and whether she was ready or not, Bedelia knew she had to do a great job. Tentatively, almost shyly, she wrapped her arms over her belly. In just a few months, there was going to be a new person in the world, one that she and Jahin had created together...

  Almost as if her thoughts had summoned it up, she received an image of Jahin bouncing a baby in his hands, a wide smile on his face as the infant shrieked with joy. It sent such a deep stab of longing through her that she nearly cried, but she knew that it was a fantasy.

  I should call him at once, she thought. He deserves to know...

  The thought was pushed away almost as soon as it arrived. If he came home and she told him everything, she could lose it all. She would be at his mercy, she and their child with her. With a great wrench, she knew that this was not a risk she could take.

  No, she thought with dawning dismay. I need to make sure that I am safe first. After that, I can tell him. After that, we can figure out what needs to happen, but if he finds out while I am still in Muneazil...

  She knew Jahin was a man well used to exercising power, and when he had to, he would use it to further his own goals. She didn't begrudge it to him, but right now, she could not be the person he was using it against. She didn't dare.

  She took a deep breath, ignoring the fatigue that seemed to set into every part of her. She had to plan, and she had to be ready.

  He was going to be away from the penthouse for at least another day. There was a window there. It wasn't a huge one, but it was one that she could use if she were willing to act now.