Toradora! Vol. 2

by Yuyuko Takemiya

  “If you ever need anything, you can count on us!” the boys said firmly before they reluctantly stepped away—only to be immediately replaced by a wave of girls.

  “Wow, Kawashima-san, you moved that all by yourself? You should have asked the boys to help.”

  “Yeah, that’s right, and they seem like they’re just desperate to talk to you, Kawashima-san. They definitely would have been happy just to have the chance.”

  Ami deployed a smile even brighter than the one she’d given the boys, waving her hand in front of her face, as if the whole thing were just silly. “I’m okay, really! This thing’s light as can be. And to be honest… though this is just between us… I’m the type that gets pretty nervous talking to boys.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah. More importantly, thanks for coming over to say hello! This is actually the first time any girl in my new class has come to talk to me—it makes me super happy! You can all call me by my first name. Ami!” After those candid words, she sat right down into her chair. But then…

  “Yow!”

  …She slammed her shin against the foot of the desk. Ami scrunched her face up in comically overwrought pain.

  “Aww, jeez! This is so uncool! Here I was thinking that since I had a fresh start, I could pull off looking funny and clever.” Casually, she added, “I guess I only got the funny part down!”

  The other girls burst out into boisterous laughter. “Kawashima-san…or wait, Ami-chan…are you pretty much, like, a klutz?”

  “I guess you’re a little oblivious, Ami-chan! Aww, why are you messing up a face that cute with an expression that funny?”

  “Heyyy, don’t say it’s funny! I was supposed to be clever, okay?”

  Ahaha! Ahahaha! And on they laughed.

  Ryuuji, off in his window seat, rested his chin in his hands. He watched in silence as the excited group surrounding Ami enjoyed themselves. It was a rare moment; his eyes were so empty that they lacked their trademark glint. I guess she even puts on an act for this kind of thing. At this rate, it kinda feels like I might wind up distrusting girls in general.

  No sooner did he think that than he met Ami’s eyes. Ami’s mouth half-opened, and she blinked in surprise. It seemed she had finally realized that not just Taiga, but also Ryuuji was in her class. She pointed at Ryuuji with her thin finger.

  “Whaaa, it can’t be! Takasu-kun, that’s you, right?”

  “…”

  It was automatic.

  Automatically, he pretended not to hear, and averted his face. It was the kind of thing you’d do if you saw something unpleasant out on the street. Although he had done it on the spur of the moment, and it probably seemed extremely mean…he didn’t have the courage to look back at Ami. Ryuuji just continued to seemingly ignore her on purpose. All he could do was endure the boisterous voices of the girls.

  “Ami-chan, you know Takasu Ryuuji?! How?!”

  “Uhh, yesterday, Yuusaku introduced me when we happened to run into him at a restaurant, but…it looks like he doesn’t like me for some reason? It wasn’t my imagination, was it? Just now, when he turned around…”

  Although she seemed to be trying to keep it at a quiet whisper, Ami’s voice was instead pitched perfectly to reach Ryuuji’s ears. She very well might have intended for him to hear her. This was Ami, so she would probably do something like that… maybe.

  “Aww! Takasu is kind of an antisocial guy. I don’t think he hates you. He’s probably just being shy!”

  “That’s right! Until we were in the same class as him, we all thought he had to be a terrible delinquent just because of his scary face. We wouldn’t even go near him!”

  …Sorry for being antisocial. Ryuuji stared motionlessly out the window, but his heart was secretly wounded.

  “Isn’t Takasu-kun a troublemaker, though?”

  “It doesn’t seem like it, even if the first-years and kids in the other classes are still scared of him. So, Ami-chan, you don’t have to worry about him; you’ll be fine!”

  “That’s right, that’s right!”

  “Oh…you think so, hmm…?”

  Hmm… Then he felt a gaze on the back of his neck. It felt like it was somehow appraising him. He rubbed his neck, which was suddenly afflicted with an intolerable itch. For an instant, he couldn’t even pretend to not be listening. He twisted his ticklish back and, against his better judgement, turned to look at Ami.

  And then…Ami showed him a very faint smile. Ryuuji felt so shaken that his eyes gleamed like the edge of a knife.

  He was sure he only locked eyes with Ami for a moment, but her eyes seemed so teary they were about to overflow.

  She immediately turned back to the ring of girls and gave them a smile…but what had been that gaze filled with unspeakable distress? It was practically burned into his retinas; he couldn’t erase it from his memory. She looked at Ryuuji without anger or resentment, but instead an anxious expression that was so fleeting, it almost seemed translucent. Even within that cheerful ring of people, her eyes cast a quiet light, like a reflection off a tranquil body of water. It was almost as though they were wet with secret tears. Ryuuji felt as though her soundless voice were delivered directly to his ears, “I wonder why you’re being so cold to me…?”

  “…N-no, that wasn’t what I meant…it wasn’t!”

  Ryuuji shook his head back and forth. He tried to erase that vivid image from his memory. That wasn’t it, that wasn’t what it was—of course it wasn’t.

  What was beautiful was terrifying. Even though he had seen her true nature right before his very eyes just the other day, he was still at risk of mistaking Ami for an innocent beauty.

  Ryuuji came back to himself, stood up, and headed to Kitamura’s seat. If this continued, he might start thinking that what had happened the day before had just been a dream. What he needed now was a reality check from another witness.

  “Hey, Kitamura… that one’s really something, all right.” While calling out to Kitamura, Ryuuji lightly jerked his chin towards the group of girls. Kitamura also took a glance at the commotion surrounding Ami and the others, and sighed as he gave a strained smile.

  “Yeah. She really knows the tricks to manipulating people’s hearts.”

  “…So why didn’t you tell us she was transferring in yesterday?”

  “Huh? I didn’t tell you?”

  “Don’t play dumb. Seeing her here was a major shock, for real.” Ryuuji sat on Kitamura’s desk, keeping his voice low as he told off his friend. The gaze he aimed at Kitamura held a vast and terrible power, but, of course, Kitamura knew that wasn’t on purpose.

  He scratched his head lightly and laughed. “No, sorry. How should I put this… I wanted people to get a chance to see Ami’s real personality. That was why I didn’t want to tell Ami that you and Taiga were in the same school as her yesterday. If I had told her, I knew Ami would stay totally in character and try to fool the both of you.”

  “…You say that like she wasn’t totally in character.”

  “She showed her true self to Taiga, didn’t she? And because of that, you saw it, too.”

  “So, what, are you trying to blow her cover? If people saw her true self, they’d just hate her, wouldn’t they?”

  “I’m not going to just go ahead and tell them. I don’t have the right to do that. But I still think it would be good if they found out. It would be better for Ami than living a lie. And if people end up hating her, I think she’d accept it.”

  “…I don’t understand what you mean when you say she’d accept it.”

  “You don’t? Hmm, let me try putting it more simply…”

  He took off his glasses. As he cleaned them with a cloth, he looked straight up into Ryuuji’s face with his surprisingly large eyes. “I don’t hate Ami’s true self. I’m actually rather fond of it—and I don’t want her to have to lie anymore. I think she should just be who she is. These days, when she tries to pass off her act on me, I get a little disappointed, too… When sh
e started modeling, she suddenly began using that goody-two-shoes act on everybody, even me. Anyway, I think it would be great if there were more people who liked the real Ami. That’s all.”

  Kitamura’s righteous eyes burned with idealistic fire as he looked at Ryuuji. For some reason, Ryuuji couldn’t manage to answer out loud. But there was just one thing he wanted to say.

  Definitely not gonna happen. That was all there was to it.

  ***

  The drink vending machines could only be used at lunch break, but that was fine, as long as you weren’t caught by a fussy teacher. The second-year classroom was especially close to the second floor of the detached building where the vending machines were located, so there was never any shortage of people breaking the rules to use them.

  When Ryuuji took some change and left the classroom after third-period math class, his goal was that forbidden hydration. He also had room-temperature tea he brought from home, but for some reason, the day had been stressful. If he didn’t treat himself to at least this much of a break, he wouldn’t be able to handle it.

  He quickly walked through the deserted hallway and stopped at the landing of the detached building in front of the three side-by-side vending machines. Do I want canned black coffee or something carbonated? Then, as he stingily counted his change and came to a decision, it happened.

  “Me first!”

  A quick white hand darted out from under Ryuuji’s armpit, blocked his palm, and put money into the coin slot. At the sudden interruption, he turned in surprise.

  “…Oh…”

  And then he was even more surprised.

  “Heh heh, to think there were vending machines in a place like this!”

  The innocent smile of an angel blossomed near him.

  The one so sweetly smiling up at him was the root of all his stress—Ami. She tilted her head and made her eyes sparkle. “Takasu-kun, I wonder what you were going to buy. I’ll try guessing. Hmmm…it’s this one, right?”

  Of all the various items in the display, she pointed with her cherry-blossom-pink fingertip at the energy drink with the most gaudy illustration.

  “Huh?! …Well…um…I was thinking maybe a coffee.” He was so discombobulated that his voice went up half an awkward octave.

  Ami just nodded once. “Right.” She prodded the coffee button. Then, after the can noisily rolled out, she turned to Ryuuji and held it out to him. “Here. This is on me. I saw you leave the classroom and ran out to follow you.”

  “Huh? Wh-why?” He didn’t have a clue what was going on. He froze in place, and Ami simply placed the can in his hand.

  Not answering, she once again put coins in the slot. “I wonder what I should get… maybe this?” Hesitating a bit, she pushed the button for unsweetened tea.

  He came back to himself at the sound of the can dropping, but it was too late. “Oh, wait a second! Use this, buy it with this!” Frantically, he tried to give her his coins, but Ami had long since started getting back her change.

  Then she raised her head. “I already bought it.” She stuck out her pale tongue and made a mischievous expression, raising her eyebrows.

  “No, that’s not okay. I can’t let you do that! Take this money for the coffee.”

  “No, no, it is too okay! Take it as an apology for yesterday.”

  “An apology…?”

  “Hey, how about we drink here?” No sooner did she speak the words than she quickly opened the can’s pull top. Without waiting for Ryuuji’s reply, she brought the prohibited drink to her lips. Now that she had done that, he couldn’t just leave the girl, not on the first day after she’d transferred.

  “…Buying a drink outside of lunch break is against school rules.”

  “Is that right? But look who’s talking. You were the one who came out here to buy one.”

  “…That’s true. Thanks… cheers.”

  Ryuuji couldn’t do anything but also start drinking his coffee. While the two of them drank, the corridor returned to silence. The only sound was the gloomy hum of the vending machine’s motor.

  Ryuuji looked at Ami out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t speak first without revealing his awkwardness. He just didn’t know what to talk about. And in times like this, another student or a stern instructor never appeared to save him.

  “Hmm… it’s cold. Refreshing—good stuff!”

  Ami ended up starting the conversation, wiping her mouth with the tips of her fingers. She leaned against the vending machines, close beside Ryuuji.

  “You know, I was really surprised to find out that you were in my class. And Aisaka-san is here, too… For some reason, Yuusaku didn’t so much as say a word about that yesterday.” Right? She smiled at him.

  But all Ryuuji could do was nod ambiguously back at her, expression frozen. Though of course his eyes ran wild. Regardless of Ami’s true nature, being alone together with an incredibly pretty girl he barely knew had by itself stolen away his ability to move.

  But, Ami seemed to take that a certain way. “…Hey, Takasu-kun.” She shifted from beside Ryuuji to look straight into his face. Her softly lit eyes rose up. She faintly fluttered her eyelashes and whispered, “…I wonder… did Aisaka-san maybe tell you anything the other day…? I can’t control what she might have to say about me, of course…but I want you to forget about yesterday. That…goes for Aisaka-san, too.”

  “Y-yesterday? What do you mean?”

  Ryuuji took a desperate step back, too nervous to face her straight on. He pushed his back into the vending machine, as though trying to forcefully sink into it.

  Ami ruined all that effort with a simple half-step forward. She wasn’t afraid of him and his terrifying eyes at all. And what she meant by “yesterday” was probably the trilogy of the restaurant, the slap, and the great bawling that followed.

  “Takasu-kun… did you hear from Aisaka-san what happened?”

  Ami’s searching eyes grew moist, like a certain Japanese commercial’s doe-eyed Chihuahua. Suddenly, she looked close to tears.

  Ryuuji’s mind went blank as he did his best to think of a reply. Eyes averted, he looked as far away as possible from Ami’s sad, beautiful visage. “N-no…I haven’t heard anything,” he muttered, as seriously as he could manage. He couldn’t let himself be fooled! Even though she makes you want to reach out to her, the fragile angel in front of you is a fraud. Trying to remember that, he also reminded himself that his reply wasn’t a lie. He had seen everything with his own eyes, so he hadn’t actually heard anything from Taiga.

  “…Really? I thought she might have told you something, but…I guess I was wrong. In that case, I’ll tell you myself… everything that happened yesterday was my fault. Aisaka-san isn’t at fault at all.”

  Still resembling that teary Chihuahua, Ami gently closed her eyes.

  “I think that…probably, because I’m a little oblivious, I made Aisaka-san annoyed… When I was talking with Aisaka-san, she suddenly got super emotional, and I didn’t really understand it, but she started saying stuff like that I was disrespectful and getting carried away…and I went into a panic. I was like, Huh? Huh? What happened? Like that was all I was thinking…and then…”

  The nerve of this girl! I can’t believe she’d go this far twisting the story around to make herself look good, and be able to tell it all with an expression like this! He remembered the chill that had come over him the day before, but for the most part Ryuuji just felt astonished. So astonished that he accidentally sighed.

  “So! Aisaka-san isn’t at fault!” Ami interrupted him, shaking her head back and forth. She dialed up the waterworks to eleven. “If I…I… If I had just…been a more put-together person… That’s why I want you to forget it. That…actually…really…happens a lot… other girls suddenly say weird things like that to me…a lot. So! I don’t mind it at all, not in the slightest! It’s fine! I’ll do better!”

  Because I’m the victim! That’s what Ami was telling him—appealing to him with her whole being. And ju
st then, the school bell started ringing. Ryuuji had been so stupefied by Ami’s performance that he felt quite literally saved by the bell.

  “Th-there’s the bell. We have to go back to class… go on, drink up. I totally get everything you were trying to say.”

  Yeah, I understood, all right. Basically, the reason Ami had come to this place was to absolve herself of blame, and to tell him to keep his mouth shut.

  As though swallowing his feelings of doubt, Ryuuji chugged his coffee in one gulp.

  Ami smiled in what looked like complete satisfaction—and then her eyes momentarily narrowed. “Right, if we don’t hurry, we’ll be late for class!”

  Like him, she gulped down her can of iced tea in one go. Throwing the cans in the trash, they started running down the hallway side by side.

  “…Hey, Takasu-kun. Just now, that was a promise, okay? Don’t tell anyone else, okay? And also—I’m really sorry for crying yesterday.”

  Ami really put those Chihuahua eyes to work. Ryuuji decided to go along with it, if that’s what it took to trick her. He nodded several times. “I got it… I got it, okay? L-look, let’s hurry.”

  In order to shake off the fatigue that had suddenly started building up in him, Ryuuji continued to run in front of Ami.

  Because of that, he didn’t see it. He didn’t see Ami behind him, when she snorted: “This guy’s too easy.”

  But even if he noticed, he probably wouldn’t have been too surprised.

  ***

  “Why did you and Kawashima Ami come hustling back to class together?”

  It happened just as the instructor turned her back to write on the board.

  The person next to Ryuuji had tossed him a note written on a scrap of paper in pink ballpoint pen. There was no name on it, but he had seen that nervous handwriting before.

  When he looked at the seat close to the center of the room, bingo. Lips pursed thin, deep in a sulky mood, Taiga looked right back at Ryuuji. Eyes detached and cold, Taiga mouthed the word reply with high-handed hauteur.