Someone to Love Me

by Anne Schraff

  Cindy had never thought much of her body. But now as she modeled her clothes, she noticed curves and shapes that were not there before. Mom was always the one with the great shape. But now, in her new outfits, Cindy could see she had a body of her own, one that Bobby Wallace seemed to like.

  On Monday, Cindy turned in five rough sketches of cartoons to Ms. Abbott. “Tell me which one you like,” Cindy said, “and I’ll finish it for the paper. ”

  “Thanks, Cindy,” Ms. Abbott said, taking the drawings. She started to laugh at the first one. “I love this one already,” she said smiling. “The dough-nuts in the food machine wearing signs that say ‘stale’ . . . the kids’ll like that. These are good too,” she said, examining each of the rough pictures. “Tell you what, Cindy. Finish off the first one, and I’ll hold the others for later. ”

  Cindy was thrilled Ms. Abbott liked her work. She couldn’t wait to share the news with Bobby. It seemed as if days had passed before she finally found him at lunchtime in the cafeteria.

  “Bobby, you shoulda seen Ms. Abbott laughing at my drawings. She already picked one out for the next school paper,” Cindy said excitedly.

  “Yeah?” Bobby replied. His eyes wandered across her body. “Cindy, you look good today. How about we get together after school?”

  “Sure,” Cindy said, beaming. Her heart pounded in excitement at his compliment. For an instant, she felt completely happy, as if nothing could ever bother her, not Raffie, not Mom, not anything. “Where should I meet you?” she asked playfully.

  “Your last class is algebra, right? So just hang around there, and I’ll meet you. ” Bobby pointed his finger at Cindy and added, “Girl, each time I see you, you look better and better. ”

  Cindy felt on top of the world for the rest of the day. She could not think of anything except going out with Bobby after school. She felt so beautiful in her new top and black pants. She felt as if she sparkled.

  After algebra class, Cindy waited in the hall for Bobby. She felt a little foolish when Mr. Corcoran came out and noticed her standing there alone. “I’m waiting for someone,” Cindy explained. After twenty minutes, Cindy began to wonder if Bobby had forgotten to meet her. But he had seemed so excited about getting together, she thought. How could he forget? Cindy glanced at her watch. Maybe she had misunderstood him. She decided to check to see if he was waiting in his car.

  Cindy hurried out of the school and approached Bobby’s red Nissan. The car was locked, and there was no sign he had been there. Worried that something bad happened to him, she rushed back to the hall outside the algebra classroom.

  Just as she entered the hall, Cindy spotted Bobby standing against a row of lockers. His arms were crossed, and his face seemed tense.

  “Bobby!” Cindy called as she came down the hall, “Where were you? I waited here for—”

  “Where were you?” Bobby shot back, anger swirling in his dark eyes. “I told you to wait right here, didn’t I? I was in the gym talking to the coach, and then I come here and you’re a no-show. ”

  “Bobby, I waited almost a half hour and then I—”

  “Come on. ” Bobby yelled, grabbing Cindy’s hand. His fingers clamped on her wrist, shooting pain up her arm. “We’ve wasted enough time. Next time I tell you to wait, just wait,” he growled.

  Bobby pulled Cindy along so fast she had to jog to keep up. She was afraid that if she stumbled, he would drag her all the way through the parking lot.

  At the car, Bobby yanked open the door on the passenger side and pushed Cindy. “Get in,” he said impatiently. She could see his pulse throbbing in his neck as he spoke. He seemed to be a completely different person than the one she knew. The change frightened her.

  As he circled around to the driver side of the car, Cindy noticed a bruise beginning to form where he had grabbed her. Bobby sat down and started the car without a word.

  “Bobby, I waited for you for a long time,” Cindy explained. “I don’t know why you’re mad. I mean, was I supposed to stand there forever?”

  “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a girl who does something stupid and then tries to argue about it. Don’t argue with me, Cindy, okay? Let’s just forget about it. I said to wait, and that’s what you were supposed to do. End of story,” he said.

  Suddenly, Bobby stomped down on the accelerator and rocketed his car through the Bluford parking lot, nearly sideswiping a Toyota Tercel that was passing by the school. Cindy looked at him in fear and confusion. Bobby seemed possessed, as if the person she knew had been replaced by some violent spirit.

  The driver of the Tercel yelled, “Learn to drive!” as he passed, and Bobby’s eyes narrowed with anger.

  “What’s his problem? He got another thing comin’ if he figures he can diss me like that. ” Bobby raced his Nissan up along the side of the Tercel and then darted in front of it. The other driver had to slam on his brakes to avoid hitting Bobby’s car.

  “Bobby, what’s wrong with you?” Cindy asked.

  He looked over at Cindy and chuckled. “Relax, girl. That fool was askin’ for it. Now I got him trapped behind me. He was in such a big hurry, but he ain’t goin’ nowhere now. ”

  Bobby cut his speed to fifteen miles per hour even though the speed limit was forty. The driver of the Tercel blared his horn at Bobby, but he could not pass because of oncoming traffic. “I’ll bet he’s burning up,” Bobby said. He smirked as he looked at the other car in the rearview mirror.

  Cindy grew more nervous with each second. “Bobby, that’s enough. Just drive normal, okay? Everybody is honking behind us. ”

  “Nobody tells me when it’s enough! I see the punk back there. He’s goin’ nuts. Man, he’s having a heart attack,” Bobby said with a spiteful glare.

  An angry chorus of horns blared loudly from several cars, but Bobby only laughed harder. “I don’t hear a thing,” he said, flipping on the radio. Deep rap bass pumped through the car, shaking the back windshield.

  “Please, Bobby,” Cindy begged. “Just drive normal!”

  “What’s wrong with you? That punk dissed me, and I’m teaching him a lesson. You think I got no pride? You expect me to take static from somebody like that? Look at him. He’s gonna think twice before he messes with me again. ”

  They finally reached a cross street, and the Tercel shot out like a rocket, speeding into the intersection and nearly hitting a truck. Bobby waved mockingly at the driver as he passed.

  Minutes later, they turned into the parking lot of Bobby’s favorite Chinese takeout place. Almost instantly, a beat-up pickup pulled in beside them. Cindy recognized the truck’s driver as he started to approach Bobby.

  “Hey Wallace,” Cooper Hodden, a Bluford junior and friend of Darcy Wills, shouted. “What kinda fool are you, man? I was the third car in that parade. Brotha, you are gonna get yourself shot one day if you keep that up. Of course, your head is so thick, a bullet might just bounce off,” Cooper added.

  “Hey, Coop,” Bobby said. “Don’t start lecturing me. That punk dissed me big time, and I don’t take that from nobody. ”

  “Hey, you keep actin’ like that, and you’re gonna end up in the morgue with a tag on your toe,” Cooper said, shaking his head and returning to his pickup.

  Bobby looked down at Cindy and said, “Let’s go eat, Cinderella. ”

  Inside the restaurant, Bobby ordered two orange chicken dinners. “That’s what you liked before, right?” he said.

  “Yeah,” Cindy mumbled, dazed. She was not hungry, and despite how eager she had been to see Bobby, what she wanted most now was to go home. The driving incident had shaken her, and her wrist still throbbed with pain from Bobby’s grip. As she looked at him, she did not know what to think. How could the same person who called her Cinderella act so violently?

  As they waited for their chicken, Bobby said, “Have you ever seen Cooper’s girlfriend, Tarah Carson? Man, I don’t know what that boy sees in her. She’s so big, Cooper needs that truck just to drive her around,” Bob
by snorted. “I’d have nightmares if I was with a girl who looked like that. But not with you, Cinderella. You’re the kind of girl guys dream about. You look so good in that shirt, you gotta wear more clothes like that. ” As he spoke, he gently reached over and ran the back of his hand down Cindy’s cheek. “When you’re near me, I can’t take my eyes off you. ”

  Cindy smiled and blushed. Bobby’s words were intoxicating. Instantly, they began to melt away her fear. As she and Bobby continued to talk, their argument at Bluford faded like a distant memory. Bobby would never intentionally hurt her, she thought.

  “Sorry I acted a little crazy back there,” he said. “I’m just having a bad day. ”

  “It’s okay, Bobby,” she replied, touching his hand.

  Just then a horn honked out in the parking lot. Bobby cocked his head as if he recognized a signal. It was two short blasts. “Uh-oh, that’s . . . my uncle. He was gonna let me know about a job. Just sit tight. Don’t go nowhere while I run out to the parking lot and see him. ”

  Bobby spent about ten minutes outside. Cindy never saw who he was talking to, but she did see a car leaving as Bobby came back inside. It was a smoke-silver Mercedes. Cindy froze. She had seen a car like that once before in her neighborhood. The last time Raffie Whitaker came to the apartment to take her mother out, he arrived in a new car that he had just bought—a smoke-silver Mercedes. Could it be the same car?

  “Sorry ’bout that,” Bobby said, sitting down to the orange chicken. “I hope this is still warm. ”

  “They just brought it out from the kitchen,” Cindy said. She could not contain her curiosity about the Mercedes. “Bobby,” she said, “is your uncle’s name Raffie Whitaker?”

  For a second, Cindy noticed an odd expression flash across Bobby’s face, but just as quickly, it vanished. “Say what?” Bobby asked.

  “The guy who dates my mom. His name is Raffie Whitaker. He drives a car like your uncle’s car,” Cindy said.

  Bobby’s eyes narrowed. “Since when did you become a detective?” he asked. “I ain’t got no Uncle Raffie, so it can’t be the same person. ” He paused briefly. “Look, Cindy, don’t go spyin’ on my life. All right? I don’t like that. Girls always want to give me static about my friends, and I’m sick of hearing it. Just ’cause I like you don’t mean you can go checking up on me like an old married lady keepin’ a leash on her husband. ”

  “Whatever,” Cindy said quietly, surprised and hurt by his words. Just as quickly as he relaxed her minutes before, Bobby made her nervous again. When Bobby was nice, Cindy could not be any happier. But she had never seen this moody side of him before. And now, he seemed to be hiding something. Sitting next to him, Cindy did not know what else to say, so she brought up her cartoons again and how much Ms. Abbott liked them.

  “That’s nice,” Bobby said. “So what time you gotta be home from school today?”

  “Mom gets home around five,” Cindy replied, looking at her watch. “It’s already after four. ”

  “Too bad. I was hopin’ we might go someplace else when we’re finished here. That’s all right, though. I got other things I gotta take care of,” he said, watching cars pass on the street outside the restaurant.

  Bobby drove Cindy home in almost complete silence. Just before he left, he grabbed her and kissed her. It was a rough, almost forceful kiss, one Cindy didn’t enjoy.

  Weary from the day’s events, Cindy walked slowly up the stairs to her apartment. She had mixed feelings about Bobby and wanted desperately to talk to somebody. She liked Bobby, and it felt good to have a boyfriend. She especially liked wearing his varsity jacket. But she was a little nervous around him. As much as Cindy did not want to admit it, she was almost afraid of Bobby. She wondered if she was overreacting.

  Cindy knew not to call Amberlynn or Jamee—they would just say, “I told you so! Drop him, girl!”

  As Cindy neared her apartment, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Mrs. Davis’s voice.

  “Cindy?” the old woman called from her apartment at the end of the hall.

  “Hi, Grandma Rose. ”

  “Hello, child. I happened to be looking out the window when I saw you come home with that Wallace boy. Would you like to come over for a nice warm cup of tea?”

  “Okay,” Cindy said. Her mother would not be home for half an hour. Cindy was eager to talk to somebody.

  She sat at Mrs. Davis’s kitchen table, and after fixing some mint tea, Mrs. Davis sat opposite her. Cindy could not remember a time when she and her mother just sat together. Whenever they managed to talk, her mother was always distracted by bills, her makeup, her job, or Raffie.

  “So, is this Bobby Wallace treating you right, child? Is he respecting you?”

  “He’s nice . . . most of the time,” Cindy admitted.

  “What about the rest of the time?” Mrs. Davis asked.

  Cindy decided not to mention the stranger in the Mercedes or how Bobby had bruised her arm. Instead she told Mrs. Davis about the driving incident. “He was so mad at this guy that he drove real slow in front of him and held up a whole bunch of cars, and I was . . . scared,” she confessed.

  Harold Davis had been sitting over in the corner quietly doing his homework. Cindy barely noticed him until he piped up. “I saw that. I was walking along the street and saw eight cars held up behind Bobby’s car. I thought someone was gonna jump out and strangle him for driving that way. ”

  “That was real stupid of Bobby,” Mrs. Davis said. “Somebody coulda gotten into an accident and been hurt real bad. ”

  “I know,” Cindy said sadly.

  “Child, you better be careful, runnin’ around with a boy like that,” Mrs. Davis warned. “He could get you in a world of trouble. ”

  “I know,” Cindy repeated softly.

  As she walked back to her apartment, Cindy thought about Bobby and the mysterious driver of the Mercedes. Rubbing the bruise on her arm, she wondered what had made Bobby behave so violently. Would he act that way again?

  Chapter 7

  Alone in the apartment, Cindy could not shake the Mercedes from her mind. There had to be a connection between the car and Raffie, she thought. Who else in their neighborhood drove such an expensive car? She could ask Mom, but her mother would probably not discuss Raffie, not after the fight they had. Cindy decided to try a new approach with Mom. She would cook dinner, something Aunt Shirley had once taught her.

  By the time her mother walked in the door, Cindy had a spaghetti dinner nearly complete.

  “My, what a surprise,” Mom said. “You actually did some work for a change and didn’t just sit around waiting for me to do everything. ”

  Cindy stopped herself from yelling back because she did not want to start another fight. She just wanted to find out if Raffie was the driver of the Mercedes she had seen earlier that day.

  “Mom,” Cindy said, after her mother had a helping of spaghetti. “What kind of work does Raffie do?”

  Her mother put her fork down and eyed Cindy. “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing, Mom,” Cindy answered.

  “I’ve told you before he is a salesman—a darn good one too. What makes you so interested in him all of a sudden?” Cindy could see her mother was in a bad mood. Maybe something had gone wrong at work or with Raffie.

  “I don’t know. You said you were gonna marry him, didn’t you?” Cindy said.

  “If he ever gets around to asking me,” she sighed.

  “What’s the matter? You and Raffie have a fight or something?” Cindy asked, drizzling French dressing on the salad she had prepared.

  “You’d love to hear that, wouldn’t you?” Mom asked, with a smirk. “Sometimes he can be such a pain. I was sure he was gonna give me a ring in Vegas. But he put it off again. I know he loves me. I mean, he’s just beside himself when we don’t see each other for a few days. He’s crazy about me, but there’s something about marriage that just seems to scare men these days. ”

  “Mom, does Raffie have
a nephew who goes to Bluford?” Cindy asked, thinking about what Bobby said about the man in the Mercedes.

  Her mother looked puzzled. She twirled some spaghetti on her fork and thought for a second. Then she shook her head. “Raffie doesn’t have any brothers or sisters, so he couldn’t have a nephew. ”

  “I thought I saw Raffie’s car at the Chinese take-out this afternoon. Whoever it was had a smoke-silver Mercedes, and I’ve never seen another one of those around here. ”

  “It couldn’t have been Raffie. He’s been out of town for two days. He had a sales convention in Los Angeles. He made a big presentation and everything,” her mother said.

  “Oh,” Cindy responded, dismissing her suspicion of the strange Mercedes. It must have just been a coincidence, she concluded.

  “What’s that?” her mother asked, pointing to the bruise on Cindy’s wrist.

  “Nothing,” Cindy answered quickly. “I bumped myself when I was getting something out of the closet. ” Cindy moved her arm as she spoke so her mother would not stare at the bruise. There was no way she was going to tell her mother what Bobby did. “So, do you want some ice cream?” Cindy asked, changing the subject.

  “Cindy, you know I can’t eat sweets. They go right to my hips, and Lord knows they don’t need to get any bigger. That reminds me, I saw your cousin Teresa today. She came into the restaurant with her boyfriend,” her mother said. “She didn’t look so good. If I didn’t know she was twenty-four, I’d say she was about forty years old. She looks like she lost about twenty pounds. If you ask me, I think she’s into drugs again too,” her mother added, shaking her head. “Drugs are everywhere in this neighborhood these days. Raffie and I keep talking about leaving this place for good as soon as we get married. ”