How Not to Date an Alien

by Stephanie Burke

  Had I not acted when I did, this delightful view could have been granted to some undeserving human. And you deserve nothing but the best, Kilana.”

  His honest words caused a blush to spread across her face. But there was no mistaking the delight he had caused. She could feel her liquid reaction dripping down to her ass and making the sheets beneath her wet.

  “So bountiful,” he moaned, leaning down to inhale her scent. “The smell of Halifa blossoms, the beauty of your dark skin, the way your inner walls yield to pink so prettily. It will be an honor to feast upon you.”

  He licked his lips, each fork of his split tongue curling a bit, and then he lunged.

  Kilana screamed at the first caress of his tongue against her clit. The heat of him, the feel of that velvet flesh, his moans of hunger. Then he was slurping her, drinking down her essence as his split tongue encircled her clitoris, tugging and working it as he applied an intense suction.

  “Please!” She could feel her whole pussy on fire! The muscles were tightening, her clit was burning, her thighs were shaking, and he had only just begun. “Oh, oh, oh!”

  “So delicious.” He was growling as he shook his face from side to side, his soft skin abrading the overly sensitive flesh of her sex.

  She looked down to see him, eyes closed, hands gripping her thighs hard enough to bruise, hair flowing wildly around him, and she wanted to scream in her passion. He looked so damn hot! And when he opened his eyes to stare into hers, her whole world tilted on its axis.

  He began to play, to run those vibrating fingers along the lips of her labia, petting the swollen flesh and bringing the tension in her body to a higher level.

  “All for me,” he muttered, sucking her down as if she were the last liquid on earth and he was dying of thirst. “All of this is for me.”

  He slid his fingers deep inside, and Kilana could only scream as the powerful vibrations made her body bounce in his grasp. Her head again whipped from side to side.

  “Coming! Coming! Oh, God, Valan! I’m coming!”

  Her body heaved, her clit stiffened in its fleshly prison, and her hips strained upwards. Her toes curled as she felt the first wave of heat pass over her. He moaned even harder and withdrew his tongue from her clit.

  “From the source,” he growled, and then he moved lower, his nose teasing her abandoned clitoris while his tongue sank deep within her.

  White lights flashed before her eyes as that wicked tongue began to vibrate. She dug her nails into the sheets, trying to get purchase as her orgasm continued unabated.

  Now Valan was moaning like a whore, his whole body quivering as he drank and drank and drank. Kilana shrieked as she felt herself peak again, and for a woman who was never multi-orgasmic, that was saying something about his skill with his tongue. Her hands were reaching, grabbing onto his hair, tugging and pulling as the strands wrapped around her hands, holding them, calming her and caressing her skin at the same time.

  Even now, Valan sought to comfort her, even in the maelstrom of her unending release. Finally her poor, sated body could do no more. It shut down so rapidly, she never even realized that she was passing out. Her last sight was of him, her alien, looming over her, his face shiny with her juices, his fangs parted in a smile of unbelievable beauty and contentment.

  Chapter Ten

  “I’m just a notch on your intergalactic belt, and I don’t really care.” And she didn’t. Tangled up in Valan’s hair in a debauched sprawl across her bed, Kilana had never been happier.

  “That was just oral,” Valan purred, reaching up from his position between her legs and petting her belly. “You taste divine.”

  “Just oral.” Kilana nodded, her breathing still sounding like a bellows, though she was beginning to calm down. “Right.”

  “I have achieved my goal,” he reported, looking up at her from between her legs with those deep black eyes. “And I find myself strangely unsatisfied.”

  “I’m fine,” Kilana chortled. “Oh, I don’t think I’ve ever been finer.”

  But then a little guilt seemed to settle in. He had, after all, brought her all of this delicious pleasure, and she had given him nothing in return. “Maybe I can help?” Being a selfish lover was something that Kilana had never been accused of before, and she didn’t want to start with that reputation now.

  “I would very much like to enter you, Kilana,” he began tentatively. “But I am unsure as to how your body will react to mine.”

  “You aren’t diseased, are you?” she asked, not really thinking it was true, but there was something to be said for safety first.

  “No.” He shook his head. “Physiology wise, we are compatible to each other.

  There is nothing in my biological make up that will harm you in any way.”

  “Can you get me pregnant?” Well, she had to ask, and it had been a long time since she’d been on the pill…

  “Only if it is a shared need,” he assured her. “If that was the case, the receptors in your hormones and pheromones would send signals to my meeprat. In that instance, my meeprat would allow the mingling of fluids in what you would deem my testicles, though mine are internal, and they would began the process of creating spermatozoa. It would require several sessions of deep release within your body to convince your uterus to accept my spermatozoa as a welcomed and treasured part of me and not a hostile infection or invader. Then once the preparation of your uterus was assured, I would proceed to go through the Ceremony of Fertilization which would require no less than seventeen ejaculations on my part, something that is different than a mere release. And I would have to stay conjoined with you for at least five of your earth days.

  During that time, my closest kin and family, being my shared womb mate Vanta, would feed and fan us and ensure that we do not become dehydrated, which is as dangerous to my people as it is to yours. After witnessing the Ceremony of Fertilization, Vanta, as next closest kin — parental components almost never take part in the ceremony — would do a victory dance before the elders, welcoming the new life. And in a relatively short amount of time, one of your earth years, our child would grow and develop until it was ready to descend… Kilana?”

  Kilana’s eyes had glazed over after the first few sentences of his lecture on alien biology. And now she was so glad that having children had never even factored into her life. A whole year pregnant? What were these aliens related to, elephants?

  Five straight days of sex? His brother witnessing it? A naked dance before the elders? These people were insane!

  “You don’t want children, do you?” she managed to squeak out of her shock-frozen throat.

  “Not for many earth years,” he assured her. “And then only after a lot of consideration and planning.”

  “Good,” she moaned in relief. “But we are still using condoms.”

  “What is condom?” he asked, tilting his head to the side like a curious puppy.

  “It is a latex sheath that goes over the penis to prevent pregnancy.”

  “Why do you not just wish for pregnancy?” he asked, seriously confused. “If the mind is not ready, the body will not follow.”

  “Doesn’t work that way with humans. Sometimes pregnancy just happens as a repercussion of sex.”

  “Wow,” he breathed, rising up to loom over her, his hair flowing down around them, wrapping around her body and creating an enclosed space where only the two of them existed. “Humans are — what’s the word? Oh, yes. Freaks.”

  “Hey!”

  “Pregnancy just happens as a repercussion of sex? What happens if someone does not wish to be pregnant?”

  “There are choices,” she muttered, thinking that maybe his biological system of checks and balances was better than what her fellow humans had.

  “I don’t wish to know,” he interrupted her. “That is not part of my issue with intercourse with you.”

  “Then what is?”

  “I don’t wish to harm you.”

  “Your penis has spikes or spines
or some other nasty little surprise that will hurt me?”

  “Well —” He settled himself comfortably on his knees above her. “It is my kigth, my rings.”

  He hefted the large yet flaccid penis in question and tapped on one of the several rings that encircled the head.

  “They expand or something?”

  “No, they vibrate.”

  That caught her attention big time.

  At her spike of desire, Valan inhaled and looked down, smelling her enhanced arousal.

  “Vibrate?” she asked, urging him to speak more only if by sheer force of her curiosity. “You don’t say? Go on.”

  “Although I am built for pleasure and have the ability to adjust my length and width to fulfill the needs of my partner, I am leery to try this on a human. I have never had intercourse with a human being before, and there is no documentation to aid in the matter.”

  “Adapt to fit…”

  “Yes.” He shook his head. “When I reach optimal size and girth, my penis will quit expanding, and then my rings will vibrate to set a harmonious resonance within you. Then and only then can the true sex act begin.”

  Kilana was almost drooling at the thought. He would fit her perfectly, his body would be in tune to hers perfectly, and then the real sex would begin?

  She hoped she had some condoms big enough to fit him. The whole alien sex experience had to be — well, experienced — first hand!

  “And the problem is?”

  “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

  “How about,” she began, feeling her slick liquid response to his body. Her words slipped from her in a heated rush. “How about you let me tell you when I am in pain?

  Will that work?”

  “I-I believe,” he stuttered, but he was obviously distracted. His eyes kept going to the spot between her legs, and he was licking his lips again like a starving man.

  “Say yes,” she urged, spreading her legs wider. She was not above using everything in the seduction arsenal to pull this man in, and she was going to use the most overt tactics to get the job done.

  “Yes,” he breathed.

  Finally she was seeing a reaction out of him, and he was letting his passions go.

  As she watched, his cock elongated, swelling and widening until it seemed like he was growing a third leg. Her eyes widened in horror, and he tilted his head to the side before his cock began to shrink.

  “Too much?” he asked, and she nodded mutely.

  He grinned again, and then held up two fingers in front of his face.

  “You can easily take this much.” He nodded, then added a third finger. “You can take this much as well.”

  He looked down at his cock, and the damn thing resized again, slimming a bit and losing the frightening thickness and that fear-inspiring length. He stopped when his cock was about nine inches long and a few inches wide.

  “Acceptable?” he asked and again she nodded. “Then I may proceed?”

  “Please do, but go easy,” she chided him. “I’m still sensitive from your feasting.”

  “Worth it,” he shot back. “I am sure you would agree.”

  He had her there. So she sat back and waited. He did not disappoint.

  He naturally started between her spread thighs with mouth and tongue, moaning at the hot gush of liquid response that he lapped up like a contented cat. “So delicious.” He buried his face deep inside her, his nose teasing her clit as he lapped at the swollen opening to her body. “I could live right here.”

  Kilana gasped her approval, tangling her hand in his hair, now used to the fact that his hair wrapped around her fingers in return.

  He stayed there for only a short time, though, thoroughly testing her again and refamiliarizing himself with her most private place before he began to lick his way up.

  He teased her clit with his vibrating finger before he wrapped both forks of his tongue around it and tugged. Kilana hissed and spread her legs wider, her hands sliding down his back as he moved upwards.

  He stroked her belly and rubbed his face against it, looking up at her with excited black eyes. She smiled at him and bared her teeth, and a shudder went through him. “I love the way you respond to me,” he murmured, placing one last tiny kiss on her stomach before moving upwards again.

  He started with her breasts this time and spent several almost painful moments nipping and licking at them, using his split tongue to its best advantage to tug at her nipples and sensitive, nerve-rich skin. Kilana gasped and arched into his touch, her own hands exploring the taut muscles of his back. She tugged his hair gently away from his skin and set out on her own little trek of his body.

  His muscles bulged beneath the too-soft-to-be-believed skin. She could feel them move and adjust as he changed position on top of her. He felt different that the human men she had been with, as if the muscles were denser and in strange places, but all the same she delighted in the feel of them under his skin.

  She slid her hand down and finally gripped that delicious round ass of his. He gave a small moan, and Kilana felt him press his hard length against her thigh. She teasingly lifted and pressed with her thigh, feeling a small spurt of vibration shake his cock before it swelled a bit more.

  It too was covered in softer than down skin, though the firmness beneath was reminiscent of her favorite vibrator. There was some give there, but not as much as a human cock. He would be harder inside her, stiffer, and maybe last longer after she orgasmed.

  Kilana just loved the feeling of being stuffed after orgasm. That little erotic pain did something to her brain, though most men could not stay hard long enough after ejaculation to totally satisfy that kink. They got too sensitive or they had to pull out to keep the condom on, but they never stayed inside long enough for her liking.

  She had a feeling Valan would be different.

  But she pulled her attention back to his ass again, squeezing and palming the round globes of hard flesh. He lifted his head and grinned at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

  “I like that,” he informed her before dragging his face against her right breast as if scent-marking her. “I like that a lot, Kilana. Do it some more, please?”

  Never one to ignore a sexual request, Kilana went to town, rubbing and stroking, parting his cheeks and caressing each one individually. His whole body shuddered, and he pressed harder against her thigh and arched his ass up as if requesting more.

  Shrugging, she ran her fingers over the sensitive cleft between his cheeks and watched as his whole body glowed silver for a second before he growled.

  “Again!” he ordered, and she repeated her actions, rubbing harder but finding no winking hole for her to caress. Instead there was just more soft, sensitive skin to explore.

  Thinking of his alien anatomy lesson, she shrugged her shoulders, lifted her hand and popped his ass a good one.

  “Oh!” he gasped, arching up higher in a clear demand for more.

  So she popped him again and again, hitting him hard enough to draw the blood to the surface of his skin but not hard enough to harm. His arm wrapped around her, gripping her tightly as he buried his face in her neck.

  “That feels so wonderful,” he moaned, wiggling his ass more. “I have not had the pleasure of a katatin since my sibling convinced me to try male Kisats years ago. I forgot how much I loved this feeling,”

  Kilana had no idea what a katatin or a Kisat was, so she applied her hand with greater fervor, squeezing and rubbing his warming flesh after each slap. Valan moaned again, just once more, before he pulled himself up and slammed his mouth over hers.

  Her squeak of surprise was swallowed by his kiss as he rammed his tongue between her lips. He moaned slightly as he took this chance to search her mouth with his unique tongue. She could taste herself there, her heat and the salt of her skin; it was all there to be savored within his mouth.

  His tongue gently wrapped around hers after running along her teeth. He shifted so that his thick cock now rested on the heat betwee
n her legs, and he slowly sucked her tongue into his mouth.

  Kilana wrapped her hands in his hair, rubbing and tugging as fire flowed up and down her spine. Her stomach had that peculiar feeling, that ache of growing desire, and her whole body began to quiver in anticipation.

  She was about to get fucked good and proper with a vibrating dick, and those thoughts alone made her pussy spasm in delight.

  He pulled away after a moment of this and slid a hand down between their bodies.

  “I must prepare you,” he offered, sending his vibrating finger along her clit and the swollen lips of her labia. He pressed gently, and Kilana let out a small scream, her thighs trembling and her toes curling as she wrapped her legs around his hips. Her response was liquid as her lubricating fluids ran freely over his fingers, soaking his hand, his trailing tendrils of hair, and the sheets below.

  “Valan,” she groaned, closing her eyes against such intense pleasure.

  “So very wet,” he muttered against her lips as her hands trailed up his back to dig into his skin. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as he gripped his cock and positioned himself at her opening.

  “Let me know if this hurts,” he whispered against her lips and began to very gently push inside.

  “Sweet Jesus!” Kilana gasped, her eyes popping open as the soft-hard meat of him began to spread her wide as he forged a way inside of her. First the rounded tip slid past her labia and entered her, sizzling her nerve endings with his taut, blunt heat.

  She moaned as his slim hips shifted between her legs and the first of his rings entered.

  She jumped at the shock of pleasure. There was a slight sting, but his teasing finger returned to her clit, and she was gasping, arching up against that digit as he attempted to stuff more of his cock inside her. But he was taking it slow, moving at a snail’s pace inside her, letting her feel every inch as it pressed deep within her.