Su Hei kept still as a mouse while the two women fussed and argued around her. Her mother was looking happy. She wondered what was to become of her. Both women had assured her that they had her best interests at heart. “When I was young and foolish,” said her mother, “I refused to go to school. It was a big mistake on my part. I do not wish that to happen to you. You will get a chance to learn and possibly marry a man who any girl in town would jump at the chance to marry.”
“What if I don’t like him?” Su Hei had asked.
Her mother had looked shocked at the suggestion. “How could you not if you were my daughter? You are my blood. You are me. Oh my beloved daughter. You will love him and he you.” Su Hei was frightened by the intensity of her mother’s eyes. Her whole face seemed animated. “You will, you will,” Li Ling assured Su Hei grasping her arms. Su Hei’s skin tingled from the heat of her mother’s hands.
***
A week later, Ah Chu brought Su Hei to the Ong’s household. Shao Peng was expecting them.
“This is Su Hei, Li Ling’s daughter. She has only just arrived from China and is still finding her way around.” Ah Chu ushered Su Hei forward, her knuckles digging into the small of the girl’s back giving her no opportunity to resist. “If you don’t mind, I’ll take leave now,” she said to Shao Peng. “I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”
Su Hei turned in panic and grabbed Ah Chu’s hand. “Don’t leave, not yet,” she pleaded.
Ah Chu gave Su Hei a look warning her not to say anymore. “You’ll be all right. I’ll come to see you when I can.”
Turning back to Shao Peng, she explained. “She is just shy. She’ll be fine. I am sorry to leave so abruptly but I have urgent matters to attend to at home.” Ah Chu did not wish to stay a minute longer because she did not want to answer awkward questions. She deduced her past dealings would not endear her to the household. She especially did not want to chance seeing Rohani. She placed a folded letter in Shao Peng’s hand. “Su Hei brought this with her from China. I am sure you will find all the information you need in it.”
The words passed over Shao Peng’s head. She stood speechless, transfixed with her hand clasping the letter and her world at a standstill. Su Hei stood silently looking down. When she finally raised her eyes, Shao Peng took a step back, almost stumbling in the process. Her hand shot up to her chest; the letter fluttered to the floor. She could feel her heart beat. “Su Hei? she asked hesitantly. There was no mistaking her for anyone but Li Ling’s daughter. She was her splitting image.
“So, this is her,” said Suet Ping coming into the drawing room blissfully unaware of the tense under-currents. “What a pretty girl! Come, come and meet my daughters, Fern and Rose. You will be going to the same school and they will help you out.”
Suet Ping’s entrance brought Shao Peng to the present. She looked at her sister-in-law. Suet Ping showed no sign of recognition. Then why should she? Li Ling was always in the kitchen and Suet Ping was a guest then and probably did not notice the servants. She must take a grip of herself and not spoil it for Suet Ping.
“Yes, let’s go and see Fern and Rose,” she agreed with a brightness she did not feel. “It is not I but my stepmother who is the mistress of this household. She is taking a nap and we should not disturb her.” So saying, she led Su Hei to the stairway.
“Do you have any other luggage?” Suet Ping asked looking at the meagre bag in the girl’s hand. Surely, she wondered, there could not be more than three garments in the whole bag.
“No,” Su Hei answered, “just this.”
“Come! We’ll go to your room and deposit your bag. We’ll check later to see what else you might need.” Shao Peng glanced at Su Hei from the corner of her eye. She was troubled and could not dispel the feeling of deja vu. She could feel the hairs standing up on her arms. She shivered.
They went up the stairs with Suet Ping following closely. “You are in the room next to my daughters,” she told Su Hei. “You will share their bathroom. It is not a big room and Fern and Rose have helped decorate it. You’ll see.” Suet Ping was glad to have another young person in the house. With her mother-in-law ill and Siew Loong away most of the time, the household had become even more gloomy.
Su Hei ran her hand over the banister; the wood was satin smooth under her fingers. She withdrew her hand hastily; she had left a trail of damp finger marks. Looking up, she saw lights that twinkled like diamonds. A large blue and white pot of ferns stood at the corner of the landing, their fronds lush and full, sprouting from its core. The house was very grand; it was in fact the most beautiful house she had ever seen. She felt intimidated by it all. Her stomach churned. She wished her mother was with her to see it. She could not reveal that her mother was in the country. She did not know when she would be able to see her again. She felt herself being carried along by a tide of events she had no control over. She regretted promising her mother so much.
Shao Peng, observed the flit of emotions on the girl’s face and the desperate sadness in her eyes. “What’s the matter?” she asked.
Su Hei shook her head. She could not speak.
They stopped in front of a door. “Here you are. I hope you like it.” Shao Peng pushed open the door and stepped aside to allow Su Hei in. She looked at Suet Ping. Their eyes met. “Perhaps we should let you settle down and make yourself at home. Fern and Rose will come to you in a while. When you are ready come down. We’ll talk then.”
After they left, Su Hei sat on the bed. Her mother’s instructions ricocheted in her head and an incredible sense of tiredness came over her. She lay on the bed and drew her knees up to her chest. She was frightened.
Chapter 44
SHAO PENG TURNED A PAGE of the book. She was listless. She could not concentrate. She kept returning to the previous page to remind herself of what she had read. With a sigh of frustration, she closed the book firmly. She could not get over the meeting with Su Hei. She found herself covertly examining the girl whenever she had a chance. Su Hei not only looked like Li Ling, she talked and moved like her. She had a habit of brushing her fringe to one side whenever she was spoken to; when she smiled, her cheeks dimpled in the disarming way that was Li Ling’s. Most disconcerting of all were her eyes; she had big long eyes with thick lashes and they looked straight at you, uncompromising in their directness; just like her mother. Shao Peng had to stop herself from calling her Li Ling. She had an overwhelming desire to gather Su Hei in her arms and apologise for failing her mother. Despite everyone’s assurance that Li Ling’s troubles were not Shao Peng’s doing, Shao Peng never forgave herself. Su Hei’s sudden appearance into her life gave her a chance to make amends and she had to do it quickly before she left for England. Yet she was uneasy. She couldn’t quite place what was causing it.
“Why the glumness?” asked Jack coming into the bedroom. He slipped out of his dressing gown and came to bed. “I thought you said everything was going well.”
“Yes it is. Fern and Rose took to Su Hei as did Suet Ping. I was apprehensive that Rohani would find her likeness to Li Ling difficult. I was wrong. My stepmother was kindness itself. No mention was made of the past. Perhaps that was for Suet Ping’s benefit. Suet Ping knows nothing about Li Ling and my stepmother’s fear that my brother would fall in love with her. I think Rohani was also kind partly because she was very sorry for Li Ling’s sufferings. If you remember, she literally drove Li Ling out of the house. Mind you, Su Hei helped herself a lot by her winning ways. Unlike her mother Su Hei was very solicitous towards Rohani. She asked after her health; she was polite; she was ready to fetch and carry for Rohani and anticipate her wishes.”
Shao Peng looked at her husband, an amused smile on her lips for the first time that evening. “Despite my stepmother’s longing to return to her kampong and her people, as she puts it, she has become very Chinese in her outlook. Such things seemed to matter to her more and more, day by day.”
“So why then were you frowning earlier on?” Jack slid an arm aroun
d Shao Peng and drew her close. She put her head on his shoulder.
Shao Peng shrugged. “I don’t know. Su Hei’s resemblance to her mother, I suppose. It is uncanny. I wonder how my brother will react if he sees her.”
***
Siew Loong pushed aside the papers he had just signed and got up. The lengthy quarantine of immigrant labour in Port Swettenham had held up work in his rubber plantation. The cost of these delays was fast rising. He had to find a way to stop these irrational measures. He had not believed what was said about conditions in the detention centres and had gone to see for himself. He was shocked to the core.
Thousands of men and women were cooped up in unspeakable conditions. They had literally only standing room. Each person had to himself less than five square feet of space in the closed internment area. It was foul. The place stank. There were only twenty-three latrines for the three thousand odd coolies interned in the area. Fifteen were for men and eight for women. In the past couple of months alone, several hundreds of lives had been lost under the wretched conditions. This could well exceed the lives that were intended to be saved by the quarantine. It made him angry. How could anyone think that such a quarantine would help save lives? Why weren’t the Authorities more prepared?
Immediately on his return from Port Swettenham, he got together with other planters to lobby for its removal. Many of the British firms had as much to lose as he did if not more. They argued for better sanitation and health facilities. Unfortunately, not everyone gave the problem their full attention. The disunity left the lobby in disarray. Siew Loong sighed. He picked up a copy of the Penang Gazette. It would seem that what was written had more than a grain of truth; ‘everybody’s business had become nobody’s business.’
“And now this!” He muttered angrily picking up the Malay Mail. Almost overnight, plantations were told to provide welfare and medical facilities for their workers. There were no public hospitals they could turn to. The expansion of rubber had risen by well over a hundredfold since it first started but the Government seemed not to have anticipated the problems that had arisen. So they had given the task of solving it to planters.
How could he provide such facilities? How could he, an individual, provide what should be supplied by the Government? Yet how could he not? He was legally bound to do so. If he did not, his supply of work force would dry up. They would just stop his license to bring labour in.
His mind became totally occupied with the problem of setting up and running a hospital on his estate. He had no experience in it. He didn’t know where to get the right staff for a hospital. Agitated, he paced up and down the room. Maybe he should try to convene a meeting with one of the many foreign-owned plantations and work out a way to set up a hospital jointly with them. “Sime Darby or Guthries?” he asked aloud. “Which one would be more amenable?” A bigger hospital meant more economy of scale. He would be able to have better facilities, better staff. He should try to make an appointment with Dr. Galloway and Dr. Malcolm Watson, both of whom had done good work in tropical diseases. He should also consult Kapitan Yap Kwan Seng. The Tung Shin hospital he built in Sultan Street for paupers might offer him some ideas. He snatched a piece of paper and scribbled down his ideas.
“ Towkay! Boss, shall I start to lock up now?” interrupted the porter. “The other staff have long left the office.”
Siew Loong stopped in his tracks. “Yes! Lock up. I am finished here.” He sat down. The thought of returning to his small empty apartment adjacent to his office left him cold. Yet he was reluctant to go to Ann Ee. She had become too clinging. Perhaps, he should go home. He had not seen his mother and his two girls for a while.
Chapter 45
SIEW LOONG SWUNG HIS LEGS out of the car. The gravel crunched under his feet. He turned, shifting his weight to close the door and stood for a moment to gaze at the house silhouetted against the fast darkening sky. Sunlight peeped from behind a cloud and lit up his mother’s quarters in the west wing. It was a place where he had found solace when he was young, where cuts and hurts were tended to, a place where he had access while his sister Shao Peng had not. Now he was a reluctant visitor. Siew Loong wondered how his mother was. A servant came out; she saw him. She retraced her steps and ran inside, no doubt, he thought, to warn his mother and the kitchen. The front door opened from within by unseen hands, like a magical force that had been waiting for his return that evening. He stepped in, pausing to allow a maid to undo his shoes and help him into a pair of house slippers. “Siew yeh, master,” she said. He mumbled a reply and thanked her.
The house was quiet. When he was a child, he imagined the house to be a breathing, living entity. The swish of curtains when the wind blew or the slam of a door were transformed in his mind into magical powers. He had loved his home.
He made his way to the stairway. Sounds of chatter and giggles floated down the stairway. He recognised them as Fern’s and Rose’s. He was tempted to visit them first instead of seeing his mother. He decided against it. It was best that he got it over with. The question of his duty to bring forth a son would no doubt be at the top of his mother’s agenda. He mounted the steps, his heart heavy.
***
Siew Loong knocked. Voices came from within. He hesitated. He did not want to confront his mother and his wife at the same time. It would be too much. For the briefest of moment, his fist stayed suspended mid air; then he pushed open the door and went in. He could not allow himself to be intimidated in his own home.
His mother was talking animatedly to Suet Ping and another woman. Her face lit up when she saw him. She beckoned him to come to her, rising to her feet at the same time and rushing to meet him halfway. Siew Loong felt a twinge of guilt. How could he be so churlish when his mother was so happy to see him. Suet Ping too came forward. His smile faltered. His eyes shifted to the remaining figure, a slim form with slender arms and a tiny waist, that was vaguely familiar. The form took a step and turned around. His heart contracted and he could hardly breathe. “Li Ling?” he gasped.
Rohani saw the astonishment in his face. “No! It is Su Hei, Li Ling’s daughter. I too was taken back by their resemblance. I’ll tell you more when you have settled down.”
She indicated to Su Hei that she could leave. Su Hei smiled, bobbed her head and addressed him as master and left. Siew Loong watched her go. His heartbeat quickened with each intake of breath. He was unable to concentrate on the things that his mother said to him. All he could think of was what he had just seen. Li Ling had become a reality instead of a dream that haunted him. He excused himself and hurried out of the room.
***
Siew Loong came home every day after that day. Rohani was delighted. One morning after he left for work, Rohani went in search of Suet Ping. She found her daughter-in-law in the sewing room bent over her embroidery. “What are you making?” she asked.
Suet Ping placed the tambour frame down. “A pillow case. Should you be walking? You could have called me.” She got up and took Rohani’s arm helping her to a chair.
“I am feeling so much better now that Siew Loong comes home every day,” Rohani relinquished her walking stick, placing it against her chair. “Are you happier now that he is back? Is he treating you better?”
“Yes!” Suet Ping could not meet her mother-in-law’s eyes. Siew Loong had not shared her bed in the entire week that he had been at home. She suspected that it was common knowledge in the household. Siew Loong had had a room made up for himself. It adjoined hers. She went to him thrice; each time the door was locked. She blushed in shame at the memory of his rejection. She had placed a ear against the door and sensed his presence behind it. She had messed up her bed in the morning to pretend that his side of the bed had been slept in and had opened the adjoining door after he left his room. She feared that the servants were not fooled by her deception. The thought made her cringe.
Rohani guessed that all was not well. “Mmmm ... Shall I say something to him?”
Suet Ping turned a deeper red. �
��What can you say ibu?” She replied in Malay.
“Could you not go to him?”
Suet Ping hung her head. “I tried.” She spread her fingers out, her knuckles white against the strain. “Please, ibu don’t let’s talk about it. My husband is not interested in me. Perhaps I should return home to my parents.” She dreaded the thought of being sent home in such disgrace.
“I won’t hear of it! It is my son’s fault or rather mine for having landed both of you in such a situation. Adoi! Apa yang boleh buat! Rohani lapsed into Malay as to what she should do. “Come, wipe your face. Say no more about returning home. We’ll have to work out a plan,” she said with more confidence than she felt.
***
The car stopped in front of the house. Fern and Rose got out. Giggling and laughing, they ran ahead. Su Hei rose and was about to follow suit when Siew Loong stopped her. She felt his hand clasping her arm. His fingers were burning hot. She turned and smiled at him.
“Are you settling down?” he asked with his hand still on her arm. His eyes did not leave her face. She nodded. He released her, his fingers tingling from the touch, his heart beating fast. “Good,” he said with a wave of his hand that she should go.
He sat behind the wheel and watched Su Hei step out of the car and turned to smile at him. He could not stop the longing and guilt in his heart. He knew he should not think of Su Hei in that way. She was too young for him. He reminded himself that Su Hei was not Li Ling and he was no longer the young Siew Loong. He was a husband and a father. Yet he could not shake off the feeling that Li Ling and Su Hei were one and the same. At times in the past week, like a moment ago, he wanted to crush her to him, to devour all of her. He wished he could wipe off all the years in between and start anew. He knew that it was not an option.
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