by Mia Ashlinn
“Ironic, huh?” She asked with a self-deprecating laugh. “Everyone thinks I’m the person you trained me to be. I have the perfect hair that I brush with exactly three hundred strokes at least three times a day. I dye my hair exactly once every four weeks, but I have resorted to doing it at home. I know how much you would have hated that. But it’s just so terribly expensive when you don’t have the money.”
Katie-Anne threw her head back, making a grand showing of her long, dark hair. “What do you think? Personally, I hate it. I think something more colorful would be fun, but what can I say? People would surely talk about that eccentric Blakemore girl with no taste. Not that they don’t talk trash about me anyway,” she muttered under her breath.
“Oh! People tell me how pretty I am,” she told the grave with a slow shrug. “But I don’t know because I can’t see it through my fucked up vision. All I can see is the unpretty that you carved into my skin.” Lowering her voice, she whispered smugly, “But you fucked up when you didn’t cut deeper. No one can see it but me, and I am determined to get past that word. I will toss it out of my vocabulary, if it fucking kills me. I am pretty. It was you who was not.”
Tapping her chin, Katie-Anne pretended to deliberate her next words, even though she knew what she wanted to say. “Let’s see, I have the skinny body, but I quit using those laxative popsicles and smoothies. They were disgusting, so I upgraded to puking my guts out after every meal.”
Katie-Anne heaved a sigh then went on, “That didn’t last, though. I know how disappointed you would be that I had to check into a hospital for treatment, but we don’t always get what we want in life. Sometimes things are out of our hands.”
Grabbing the flannel blanket next to her, Katie-Anne stood up and opened it to the best of her ability then tossed it to the soggy ground. Sitting down, she crossed her legs, shuffled her umbrella so that it covered her, and got comfortable. “What else, you ask? Well, I dress exactly as you would like. It is designer this and designer that. Of course, you would only want the best for your plaything…I mean daughter.”
She got to her knees then crawled toward the grave, murmuring softly, “Do you want to know a secret?” She paused dramatically. “My clothes are designed by my friend and sewn by me so they don’t exactly count.” Putting her index finger to her mouth, she said, “Shhh,” then sat back on her shaky knees.
Taking one long, deep breath, she willed away another rush of moisture from her eyes. When she seemed to be back under control, she said, “I made sure that your memory is untarnished. Well, as untarnished as could be, when it came to me and my Mommy Dearest. Everyone thinks that you were a psychotic bitch, which you were, but they think you were that way to everyone but me.”
Katie-Anne snorted. “Yes, I snorted. And I loved it, too. Want me to do it again?” With what was sure to be a maniacal grin, she snorted a second time. “That felt good.”
Katie-Anne realized she was rambling, and she made little sense, but she couldn’t stop the emotions erupting inside of her. “Oh! I fell in love and got married, too.” She waved her left hand, showing off the dazzling wedding band that she’d slipped out of her jewelry box and back onto her finger. “Shane is a very successful businessman. He’ll make a socially acceptable husband and so will Landon.”
Katie-Anne sniffled then wiped her nose with her too-long sleeve. “Do you remember them? They were the ‘no-good grease monkeys’”—she stopped midsentence to air quote— “as you called them. They were the men that I followed around all the time. I know you remember. They were the ones that you constantly tormented me with. Only they aren’t no-good grease monkeys. They weren’t then, and they aren’t now. And, if they were, they are my fucking grease monkeys.”
Katie-Anne winced as the sound of her voice carried through the graveyard. Yet she didn’t look up and around. No one was here when she arrived, and surely she would have heard them if they had come since then.
“What do I do for a living, you ask?” She barked a most unladylike laugh. “Katie-Anne Blakemore has no job. You know how it is. I like to dabble in this and that, but I never stick to anything for long. Maybe that is why I only have a few dollars left before I overdraft at the bank. Of course, I could dip into my massive trust fund, but I prefer to give it away to the people who actually need it.”
“Now, my friend TL Jacobsen is very different from me. She is an artist, and she works on so many projects that I have lost count. She is constantly in demand, but no one knows who she is or where she lives, except me. Isn’t that strange?”
Katie-Anne covered her mouth and whispered. “I am TL, by the way, but we have to keep it a secret. I would hate for anyone to think that Katie-Anne Blakemore would have a job.”
Damn, I am starting to sound like a pity party.
“Well, I guess I should get to the point. You never did like to listen to me talk.” Katie-Anne scooted back a little so she could stare at the grave marker while she said what she’d come here to say. “You don’t win, Mother. I’m finally ready to do what I was born to do. I’m ready to fly straight into my men’s arms because love doesn’t run. It flies, and I’ll be damned if I stay on the ground any longer.”
“It took us long enough to get here.”
Katie-Anne gasped, snapping her head around to see who’d spoken, but she already knew without looking. Shane.
* * * *
Shane couldn’t bear anymore. Witnessing her tears, hearing the pain in her voice as she huddled on the drenched ground and talked to a grave, was more than he could take. “I feel as though I’ve been waiting my whole life to get to this point and place in time.”
Katie-Anne’s eyes widened and her face paled, every ounce of her color leaching from her tanned skin. “How much did you hear?”
“Does it matter?” Shane asked, eager to hear her answer. Like a teenage boy asking out his first crush, Shane held his breath, and waited.
“I guess not.”
His heart soared as soon as those three words escaped her flawless peach lips. And he wanted to grab her up and swing her around. But he didn’t. Not yet. “Katie-Anne—”
“No, Shane,” Katie-Anne said, cutting him off, then patted the space next to her on the red and black flannel blanket. “Come here and let me explain some things to you. Then you can have your say.”
Shane joined Katie-Anne on the damp fabric, but he didn’t sit beside her. Instead, he went around behind her and opened his legs before pulling her entire body back until her ass bumped into his already hard cock. Circling his arms around her slender waist, he held her close. When she didn’t try to fight him, he smiled.
“I love you, Shane.” She sighed. “I love you, and I want you to love me, too.”
He opened his mouth to refute her, but she stopped him by pivoting her head and putting one soft finger to his lips. She shushed him so sweetly that he couldn’t refuse her. He could barely speak. So he kissed the tip of her finger. “Go on, little one.”
A smile kicked up both of the corners of her lips before she put it away. “I want you to love the real me. I want you to get to know me then fall head-over-heels in love with me. Being with you and Landon means more to me than either of you could know. But I need for it to be real.”
Opening his mouth a second time to answer her, he received an elbow to the ribs. “Let me finish,” she snapped but he heard the amusement in her tone. “I haven’t given you a chance to get to know who I am. I’ve barely given Landon a chance, but I want to do it now. I want to try.” She coughed, sounding more nervous than real. “I’m scared out of my mind.”
“Now can I talk?”
“I guess.” Turning back around, she sighed dramatically and fell into his body. “If you must,” she teased.
“You were wrong for not letting me in, but I was just as wrong as you were. I didn’t push you to open up to me. Shit, I fought you a hell of a lot harder than you fought me because I didn’t get to know you. I didn’t know who you were”—lifting his
hand, he paused to tap the spot on her breast that resided directly over her tender heart—“inside. I chose to let my shitty past color my vision of you.”
Shane tipped her chin up and to the side with his index finger, forcing her to meet his eyes. “But it was more than that. I was frightened, too. I need you, and I need Landon. That scares the hell out of me.”
“Join the club,” she sassed with a half-hearted smile. “You know, we should make a When It Comes To Love, I Would Rather Fight It Than Live It So I Don’t Get Hurt club. Since you have such strong leadership skills, you should run it. I’ll be the second in command.”
Shane stared down into her face, taking in every single detail. Her tear-streaked cheeks, her puffy greenish-blue eyes, and her pert, red nose were so cute yet beautiful in a way that tugged at his soul. His heart skipped a beat, and he nearly took her lovely lips, but it was hardly the appropriate time or place.
“Watch out or I might,” he teased back. “Then you’d be stuck with me and my dysfunctional self.”
Katie-Anne snorted. “I think it would be you who was stuck with me and my dysfunctional self.”
“Or we could just be dysfunctional together?”
“Shane, I want us to be together—all three of us—but we need to be realistic. You haven’t seen the real me, and I suspect there is a lot more to you than I know.”
You have no idea, little one. Shane knew that he needed to share with her just how much more there was to him, just how dysfunctional he really was. But it was not the time, not with her emotions all over the place. He believed that she wouldn’t handle it well if he told her now.
He was rapidly learning, and seeing, that his Katie-Anne felt things deeply, very deeply—painfully so. And he didn’t want her hurting any more than she already was. He would have to wait, but he couldn’t wait for too long. He wanted her to know the story. He wanted her to understand him, to know the real him, yet he had to do it at the right time. Patience.
So rather than telling her his whole life story like he wanted, Shane simply nodded.
“I think we need to get to know each other.” Katie-Anne blushed. “I think we should date.”
Shane’s jaw dropped open at her unexpected suggestion before he snapped it shut. “You want to date? You want to go steady like girlfriend and boyfriend?”
Katie-Anne shrugged, but he spotted the smile on her alluring lips that she tried to hide. “Well, I thought it would be girlfriend and boyfriend and boyfriend.”
“That is a given.”
“Anyway, I promised to stay in Serenity until July. Since I no longer intend to leave, I think we should have Jaycee and Shannon alter my dare. I think it should be that I have to date you both until July. At that point, we can figure out where to go from there.”
Shane couldn’t believe his ears. She wanted to date him and Landon. And she wanted to do it for almost six months. Fuck, she had lost it.
He didn’t realize that he’d muttered his thoughts until her elbow connected painfully with his ribs. However, this time, there was no playfulness in her actions. “I have not lost it. I think my idea is a brilliant one.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Well, you are a man. They enjoy being difficult.”
“Likewise.”
Katie-Anne cocked her head to the side, nibbling on her bottom lip adorably. “Why are you against getting to know each other?”
“I’m not against it,” he said sharply then glanced away so she couldn’t see the hurt he knew was in his eyes. “I just don’t like having an expiration date.”
She gasped, whirling her body around completely until she faced him. She swung first her left leg over his right then her right leg over his left. Scooting forward, she moved as close as their bodies would allow.
“Oh,” she exclaimed. Her dainty hand stroked his clenched jawline. “I didn’t mean it that way. I won’t leave you, and my mind isn’t going to change.”
Turning his gaze back to her, his eyes narrowed. “So you are afraid mine or Landon’s will?” He demanded to know. He was being rude, and he knew it. But damned if it didn’t hurt that she couldn’t trust him, Landon, or their feelings for her. My track record sucks donkey balls. I guess I deserve this.
“No,” she replied. “Oh, hell, I don’t know. I just wanted to have a chance to date someone like a normal person. The thought of having a real relationship is exciting. I’m tired of feigning interest in rich playboys who want my name more than they want me. Trophy boyfriends aren’t worth the waste of time and energy. Frankly, they are a giant pain in the ass.”
He could tell it did, in fact, excite her. And she did want a real relationship, as she’d called it. Between her lit-up eyes and her wide smile, anyone could see how much she wanted to be a normal person. Even though he didn’t like it, he knew that she needed this. And what she needed, he would give her.
“Fine,” he ground out, his teeth so tight they ached. “But I have conditions.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said with a tiny salute.
Disregarding her irreverence, he ticked off his conditions, “One, you are ours. That means you will wear our wedding band around your neck or on your finger at all times. If you go to The Edge, you will wear a collar in addition to the ring.”
He paused, waiting for her to agree, which she did outright and without hesitation. She waved their wedding band in front of his face, close enough that it nearly poked him in the eye. “See,” she said. “I’m yours and Landon’s, and both of you are mine. Thank you very much. By the way, we need to get the two of you rings. I don’t like when people poach on my territory.”
“Good. We can do that,” he responded, refusing to let himself smile proudly at her display of possessiveness. “Two, you have to be yourself. I want the real you. I want you to do and say the things you want. If you want to go bungee jumping, you tell us so we can do it with you.” He prayed that she wouldn’t want to go on that particular adventure, but he would do it for her, and he knew Landon would, too.
“Okay,” she murmured as her smile grew, her dazzling face so joyous that she practically burst with happiness.
“Three, we’re in this together. There’ll be no more you and me and Landon. It’s always us. Landon and I will want to be there with you every step of the way, and we’ll want you there for us.”
“I can do that.”
“Can?”
“I want to do that,” she amended with a tiny giggle. Winking, she added, “I want to be in it with the two of you...a loving, long-term, committed relationship, I mean.”
The naughty needling in her statement wasn’t lost on Shane. Between that, her lighthearted expression, and infectious laugh, he couldn’t resist joining in her playful mood.
“Yeah, well, I’m glad you can do what you want to do,” he muttered, keeping his face perfectly straight despite the teasing and innuendo in his tone. “God knows we can’t do what I want to do—at least not in a cemetery. That just doesn’t do it for me.” Giving in, he openly grinned at her. “Although, when it comes to you, I’m easily persuaded. So…”
Her eyes widened, her mouth forming an O. Obviously caught off guard by his bold battering, she blushed vividly. “U—u—ugh,” she stammered. “No, thank you.” Then, clearing her throat, she asked, “Are you done with your stipulations?”
Shane had noticed that Katie-Anne had that look perfected. It was probably because she did it so often. Surprisingly, he found that he liked it. She looked so damn cute that he couldn’t help himself.
Admiring her precious expression, he forgot that she’d asked a question. When he didn’t answer, and she didn’t continue, he sat with her in companionable silence. Finally, she spoke up again, “Hello?”
“What?”
Katie-Anne laughed softly. “Are you done with your stipulations?”
Shane shook his head, running through all of the terms in his mind. After he thought quietly for a moment, he replied, “For now.”
Rath
er than appearing pleased, Katie-Anne’s smile dimmed, and she seemed to pull back emotionally from him. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice sounding tense. “I need to talk to Landon. I should have talked to him about this a long time ago, but I was a chicken.”
Oh. Katie-Anne wasn’t pulling away from him. She was upset, and he completely understood it.
“There’s no need to be scared about talking to him,” he rushed to assure her, hoping to help her anxiety, even if only a little. “He’s going to want to know. Trust me, he’ll love you for it.”
“I know.”
“Do you want me to come with you when you talk to him?” he inquired hesitantly. He hated to even ask because he thought it would be best for her to do this with just Landon like she had with him. At the same time, Shane didn’t want her to feel as though he’d abandoned her. “Or do you want to do it alone?”
Holding his breath, he waited for her to respond. She didn’t make him wait long before she shook her head and answered, “No, I want him to hear it from me…and me alone.”
Shane exhaled slowly. Good answer, little one. Framing her face with his hands, he murmured, “I understand. But, if you change your mind or need me, you know where I am.”
“I do,” she replied. Lifting her face to his, she puckered her lips. “Now kiss me.”
Shane had something else he wanted to say to her, but, as his eyes dropped to her pretty bow-shaped mouth, he forgot it. All his thoughts scattered, and his body took over. Leaning forward, he kissed her with all the love in his heart, and she kissed him with all the love in hers. And it was perfect.
Chapter 19
Katie-Anne raised a trembling hand to knock on Shane’s apartment door, but her knuckles never rapped against the wood. She merely stood there like a marble statue with her arm extended, hanging midair. She sighed softly as an embarrassed flush burned a pathway from her neck up into her cheeks.
Damn it. She felt asinine. This was Landon. Of all the people in the world, this was the man who warmed her with his presence. This was the man she’d allowed herself to grow close to, the man she’d trusted enough to open herself up to. He was the one who’d accepted every facet she’d revealed to him. In fact, he seemed to revel in it.