One-Click Buy: June 2009 Harlequin Blaze

by Tori Carrington

  She cleared her throat, hoping that she sounded marginally nonchalant. “How long will he be home?”

  “Just a few days,” he said.

  Damn. That was still long enough for his mail to be forwarded, provided the evidence of her identity hadn’t already arrived. She didn’t think so, but…

  Honestly, when she’d realized that Lacey, her ordinarily inefficient assistant, had outed her with her return address stamp—damn that stern talking-to she’d given her about being more proactive—Natalie had known an intestine-knotting panic that had almost been enough to bring her to her knees. Little stars had danced behind her lids and the only thing that had prevented her from hurling was the fact that it was physically impossible to hyperventilate and throw up simultaneously. Small favors, she reminded herself now, as the panic and nausea made an encore appearance.

  Levi. Here. Any minute now.

  She still couldn’t wrap her mind around it. And, dammit, wouldn’t you know she looked like hell? Just her freaking luck. She and her father had been out beachcombing this morning for driftwood—the tool of her trade as a driftwood artist—and had planned to go back this afternoon at low tide. Rather than change clothes for her and Adam’s daily Tonk tournament, she’d worn her usual uniform of cut-off denim shorts, a bikini top and a tank. She smothered a miserable whine. She looked like a sea urchin.

  Oh, goody.

  Though Natalie would love to belong to the don’t worry-about-what-you-can’t-change school of thinking, regrettably she’d never been able to embrace the philosophy. That’s why she was active on her city council, participated in local charities and made sure to do her part to make the world—or at least her little part of it—a better place. In the grand scheme of things, she knew that Levi finding out that she’d been the one writing the letters wasn’t the worst possible thing that could happen to her.

  She’d already lived through that, thank you, she thought, swallowing tightly as an image of her dear mother rose in her mind’s eye.

  But the heart wasn’t logical, and the part of her that was responsible for pragmatic thoughts was currently trying to keep her breakfast from making an encore appearance.

  Would seeing him again under the circumstances be embarrassing? Oh, dear God, yes. Had she planned on facing him so soon? Certainly not. In fact, considering that he was deployed for another two months, she’d given herself that long to try and figure out how she was going to handle it. Ordinarily she was more of a take-the-bull-by-the-horns sort of person, but in this instance she just hadn’t been able to bear thinking about it. Unfortunately, rather than the two months she’d thought she’d had to formulate a plan, she’d be lucky if she had two minutes.

  Sweet God, what was she going to do? Better still, what could she do? Provided she could even think of a way to intercept the letter—wishful, lunatic thinking at its best—tampering with the US Mail was a federal offense. While she’d been known to enjoy a prank or two, she’d never slid a toe over the strictly illegal line. Natalie released a small breath.

  He was going to find out that she’d written the letters.

  Every hot, depraved, totally uncensored one of them. It was inevitable, she knew. And then, this strange relationship—the only one she knew she’d ever have with him—would be over. No more letters. No more “talking.” No more…anything.

  Frankly, she’d long ago given up the hope that Levi would permanently return to Bethel Bay and, after the whole left-at-the-altar-thing Sabrina had put him through she didn’t imagine he’d ever settle down.

  Least of all with her.

  Sad, but true. Oh, he’d always been nice to her. She and Adam had spent enough time together over the years that she’d been around Levi—despite him being a couple of years older—a pretty good bit, but in all that time she’d never detected even the slightest bit of interest in her whatsoever. He was polite. He was kind. He’d crack the occasional joke, but never once had he intimated any sort of interest in her.

  Granted, that had all changed with the letters—how many times had he written her back, wanting to know who she was?—but therein lay her present advantage.

  Anonymity.

  He didn’t know who she was. The woman he’d been exchanging correspondence with was the Mysterious Ms. X—his nickname for her made her smile—not Natalie Rowland, hometown girl, little brother’s close friend and, most damningly, bridesmaid at his ill-fated wedding.

  Honestly, there had been many times in her life when she’d seriously questioned her own judgment—using self-tanning lotion the night before Senior Prom (orange was not her color), allowing Adam to talk her into attaching a Wide Load sign onto the back of the somewhat hefty high-school principal’s car (detention) and, more recently, trying to makes’ mores in the oven rather than the traditional way around a campfire (huge mess). But allowing her father to talk her into agreeing to be one of Sabrina’s bridesmaids by far took the Stupid Trophy. Even though she’d never particularly liked Sabrina, as her cousin, it would have been bad form to refuse.

  In short, she’d really had no choice.

  Despite the fact that she and Sabrina had never been close and she’d had no idea until Adam had told her that Sabrina had been having an affair, Natalie suspected she would always be seen as guilty by association. Frankly, Levi hadn’t looked at her the same way since. On the rare but wonderful occasions she’d seen him, he’d always been a bit…distant. Removed.

  But better distant and removed than married to Sabrina, Natalie thought, remembering the abject heartache she’d suffered as a result of his proposal to her shallow relation. Devastated didn’t begin to cover how she’d felt. Broken, ruined and beyond repair were more accurate descriptions. Though she knew that he’d been humiliated and hurt, Natalie had silently rejoiced when Sabrina had canceled the wedding. And she’d been equally happy when Sabrina had moved to Nashville to pursue her dream of becoming a country-music star last year, Natalie thought, remembering her cousin’s horrible warble.

  “You okay?” Adam asked. A smile flirted with the corners of his lips. “You’re looking a little green.”

  Adam, damn him, was well-acquainted with her nervous-stomach tendencies, but she’d eat glass before she’d admit that anything was wrong. She blinked innocently. “No, I’m fine.”

  He studied her for a minute. “I’m glad he’s getting a break,” he finally remarked, tossing another card down. They’d played every day since Adam had gotten home—Tonk, of course, because it had always been their game of choice. “The time away will help him decompress.”

  “That bad, eh?” she asked, wincing softly.

  Adam swallowed, and one of those rare and fleeting grim looks came over his handsome face. “It’s war, sweetheart. It ain’t ever pretty.”

  She knew that. Still… Rather than ask questions she felt sure he didn’t want to answer, Natalie hummed under her breath and played another card.

  “Of course I expect he’ll have his hands full trying to find out who his mystery woman is,” he said. Looking decidedly smug, he leaned back in his chair and absently scratched his chest.

  Meanwhile Natalie’s heart threatened to pound through hers. “Oh?” she croaked. “What mystery woman?” Find her? Find her? What in sweet hell was she going to do? What now, girl genius?

  “That’s the question. Levi’s been getting letters from a woman from home for months now.” He snorted. “Of course the bastard wouldn’t let me read them, but I can tell he’s pretty damned intrigued by her.” He slid her a sly smile. “Interestingly, I noticed that Levi’s letters were coming on the same days I’d get one from you.”

  Oh, shit. Her gaze darted to his and she licked her suddenly dry lips. “You know how the mail is,” she said with an airy wave of her hand, cutting the line on his fishing expedition.

  Adam considered her long enough to make her want to squirm. “I suppose,” he finally remarked. “Still, I do find it a bit odd.”

  He could find it as odd as he wanted t
o so long as he didn’t know, Natalie thought, struggling to bring her heart rate back into a regular rhythm. Geez, Lord, she’d be mortified. Particularly if Adam ever read any of the letters.

  They were quite…graphic.

  When she’d first decided to start writing Levi, she’d had no idea that she was going to write about her actual dreams and fantasies. She’d just seen a particularly grisly newscast on the war in Iraq, and even though the idea that Levi and Adam might not come home had always hovered in the very back of her mind, for whatever reason, the images, the footage had suddenly made her intensely aware of their mortality.

  Her larger-than-life, indomitable friends, badass soldiers…could die.

  The realization had rattled her to the core and she’d decided then and there that she wouldn’t let another sun set without letting them know how she felt. Furthermore, she’d been under the mistaken impression that by writing the letters to Levi, she could somehow exorcise him from her heart. In theory the logic had seemed sound. In execution, it had only made her more intensely aware of how much—how very deeply—she cared for him. And when he’d started writing her back… Well, she’d been done for, hadn’t she?

  The letters she’d written to Adam had kept him abreast of things happening at home, had been filled with jokes and trivia, but more importantly, with appreciation of their friendship and the sacrifice he was making for their country.

  The letters she’d written to Levi—anonymously, of course—had been filled with the deepest desires of her heart. And part of the deepest desires of her heart involved the deepest desire of her flesh.

  Hers on his, specifically.

  An uneven breath stuttered out of her mouth, and in that instant Levi McPherson strolled around the corner, effectively snatching what little air was left in her lungs. Her body went into a full-on thrill that encompassed every inch of skin from head to toe. She should be used to it by now—it happened every time she saw him—but somehow the sensation caught her off guard.

  Dressed simply in camouflage and black combat boots, a lazy smile rolling around his unusually sensual lips, he was the epitome of a true soldier. Courage, confidence and valor were inherent in the way he moved, the shape of his jaw, the noble line of his brow. Broad, competent shoulders, muscled forearms, a lean, tapered waist and long legs rounded out a physique that commanded attention and respect. In short, he was damned fine and her belly quivered in anticipation just looking at him. Her nipples gave a quick tingle and a wave of heat washed over her thighs. In an instant, every wicked, depraved scenario she’d written to him reeled through her mind. Warm, naked skin. Muscles bunching beneath her fingertips, his hot mouth feasting between her thighs…

  Dimly she watched his parents follow in his wake as he made determined strides toward Adam.

  A broad smile lighting his face, Adam grabbed his crutches and started to stand.

  “You don’t have to get up,” Levi told him. She melted inside at the mere sound of his voice.

  “The hell I don’t,” Adam shot back, easily maneuvering himself onto his leg. “I’m not some little old grandma who’s going to settle for a one-armed hug.” Keeping one crutch tucked up under his shoulder, he nevertheless wrapped both arms hard around his brother and, laughing, squeezed. The boys had always shared a special bond, and never was that more evident than right now.

  Natalie stood awkwardly, feeling curiously out of place. The backs of her eyes burned, watching them, and a quick look at Sharon, their mother, confirmed that she was tearing up as well. Even the General appeared choked up as he glanced away and cleared his throat.

  “Damn, it’s good to see you, little bro,” Levi said, drawing back to get a better look at Adam.

  “I told you when I left that I’d be fine. You might be older—” He frowned and pretended to peer more closely at Levi’s light-brown hair. “—but that doesn’t mean that you’re the wiser. Is that a gray hair, old man?”

  Levi grinned and a bit of relief clung to that smile. “Still a smart-ass I see.”

  “My sense of humor wasn’t in my leg. Y’all have got to stop making a fuss. I’m fine,” Adam insisted, sitting back down. And he could insist all he wanted to, but nobody was going to believe him. That perpetual smile he wore didn’t quite reach his eyes, and a weariness he couldn’t altogether shake hung around his shoulders. “I’ll have a brand-new kick-ass leg soon, and if everything goes according to plan, I’ll be back with my guys, finishing what we’ve started.”

  Natalie noticed Sharon send her husband a furtive look. Obviously his mother didn’t approve of that plan. Not that Natalie could blame her, but…

  Setting her cards down on the table, Natalie rubbed her suddenly damp hands against her cut-off jeans. “I should be going,” she said, not wanting to intrude any more upon their homecoming. She couldn’t believe Adam had kept this from her. She wouldn’t have come over had she known Levi was coming home today.

  Levi’s toffee-colored gaze finally swung to hers, inadvertently making her body feel as if it had been plunged into a furnace. A beat slid to three, then a flicker of something that looked impossibly like interest flared in those golden orbs, momentarily making her pulse trip.

  But it was what she didn’t see that gave her the most relief—he didn’t know she was his Mysterious Ms. X.

  Or at least, not yet.

  “Natalie,” he said. To her instant shock and intense delight, he hugged her.

  He’d never hugged her.

  Big, hard and lean, his starched shirt beneath her cheek—it was all she could do to keep from melting all over him. Sweet, wicked sensation bolted through her and she barely suppressed a whimper. In his arms at last, even innocently, was a little dream come true.

  And Lord help her how she wanted more.

  “It’s been a long time,” he said, drawing back. Those keen eyes found hers once more, and again she thought she saw a perplexing flash of awareness in his gaze. Her pulse tripped and she felt her heart give a little jump.

  Nah, she thought. It couldn’t be.

  She stepped out of his embrace and a wobbly smile faltered over her lips. Wishful thinking, she told herself. Clearly all those letters had fostered a false sense of intimacy. The letters that would stop if he found out she’d written them. Somehow she had to keep him from learning her identity. She had no idea how, of course, but he couldn’t discover the truth. It would ruin their so-called relationship and she wasn’t willing to give it up. At least, not yet. She wasn’t ready.

  Truth be told, she would never be ready, but…

  “You don’t have to go,” Adam protested. “We’re just going to hang around here.” He nodded to Levi’s boat, nestled against the dock. “Might even take the Sabrina out for a spin after.”

  Levi’s jaw flexed and he shot his little brother an annoyed look. “Second order of business,” he said. “Rename the damned boat.”

  Adam frowned, intrigued. “What’s the first order of business?”

  “None of yours,” Levi answered mysteriously. His gaze jumped back to Natalie’s. “But he’s right.” He jerked his head toward the boat. “The General’s had her serviced for me. We’re going to take her out this evening if you’d like to come along.”

  Was he asking because Adam had invited her? Natalie wondered, tempted. “I’ve got to put in some time at the studio today,” she said, hesitating.

  As a driftwood artist, she pretty much set her own hours, but she was working on a pair of deer—a doe and a stag—that she was finding particularly enjoyable. She was inexplicably drawn to the stag. The proud angle of his head, the breadth and strength in his shoulders. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but she hadn’t been able to put her finger on it yet. She would, she knew, in time. Her art always spoke to her that way and she never failed to learn something about herself during the process.

  Levi quirked a light, slanting brow. “Working on something new?”

  Adam snorted with wry derision. “You know th
e answer to that. She’s always working on something new. That is, when she’s not planning the Founders’ Day Festival and organizing clean-up crews for the park or directing the Downtown Walking Tours.” He pointed to the driftwood pendant around his neck. “She gave me this the day I got home.”

  Levi studied the shape. “Nice,” he said, though it was obvious he didn’t have any idea what he was looking at.

  “It’s the Chinese symbol for courage,” Natalie explained, smiling softly.

  “Ah,” he said, inclining his head. That golden gaze found hers again, causing a little flutter of heat to whisper over the tips of her breasts. “Excellent choice.”

  “She’s brilliant,” Adam spoke up. “You should go by her studio, or better still, check out her gallery downtown. Beautiful stuff. Miss Bethel Bay here stays busy.” He grinned at her, obviously proud of her accomplishments. “Who would have thought that collecting all that driftwood would turn our little sand rat into an internationally renowned artist?”

  “I don’t know about that,” Natalie said, feeling her cheeks warm under the spotlight of praise. “But it’s nice to do what I love to do, have people enjoy it and make a living.”

  Actually, it was more than nice. Nice seemed like such an inadequate word when she considered that she was essentially living a dream, albeit a somewhat lonely one. She spent morning and evenings enjoying the beach, the rest of the day in her studio, engrossed in her art. And, thanks to a single sale to an A-list star who made his home in France with his pop-princess girlfriend, people now paid ridiculously large sums of money to own a Rowland original. She’d gone from a gradual success to an overnight sensation. She should be happy—was happy—and yet…something was missing. Her gaze drifted to Levi.

  She grimly suspected it was the man in front of her.

  Seemingly impressed, Levi quirked a brow. “And your dad? Is he still helping you?”

  “I couldn’t do it without him,” Natalie said, rocking back on her heels. Not altogether true, she knew, but her life wouldn’t be the same without her father. Since the drowning death of her mother five years ago, John Rowland hadn’t let Natalie put so much as a toe in the ocean without him being there, even to gather driftwood along the beach. Another reason going out on the boat with Levi wouldn’t be a good idea. Her father would be a wreck with worry.