Only in Texas

by Christie Craig

  When they stepped into his apartment, she spent way too long greeting Bud. “Hey, it’s my time,” Dallas complained.

  Giggling, she stood and walked down the hall. “I’ll be just a second.”

  When she stopped by the bathroom, he pulled her against his hard-on, letting her know how badly he wanted her. “Hurry.”

  Moving into the bedroom, he found the leftover rose petals he hadn’t used the other night. He gave them a sniff test and then shook them over the bed. Dimming the lights, leaving just enough to enjoy the view, he removed his clothes and crawled in bed and waited. His dick saluted the ceiling. Damn, even he had to admit it was quite impressive. He thought he heard a door open, but he didn’t see the light from the bathroom spill into the hall.

  Footsteps sounded and he grew harder thinking about seeing her, wondering if she’d come in only wearing her underwear. Or would she save him the trouble of removing them? Either option appealed.

  She appeared at the doorway, wearing something long.

  “What you got on?” He leaned on his elbow and hoped she’d be impressed with the wood he was packing.

  She moved inside the room. “Not very much.”

  The voice.

  “Shit!” He sprang up and grabbed for the lamp switch. Right before he turned it, the bathroom light spilled into the hall. Both lights flooded the room. His gaze shot to the doorway where Nikki stood deliciously naked. His gaze cut to Suzan—also naked, a trench coat around her feet.

  Nikki looked at Suzan, then at him. Her eyes widened in shock.

  Suzan looked at Nikki and her eyes widened in something less than shock.

  Dallas tried to breath. His lungs refused to work. Since he was fourteen, he’d fantasized about this happening. But this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

  Nikki let out a jarring screech and covered herself with her hands.

  Suzan smiled. “This could be fun.”

  Nikki looked at him with so much hurt, his chest gripped. Then she turned and ran. The bathroom door slammed.

  Hold on to her, son. You’ll regret it if you don’t. His dad’s words of wisdom played again in his head.

  “Fuck!” Dallas jackknifed off the bed. His earlier hard-on was gone. Lost. Completely limp.

  He ran to the bathroom door. “Nikki?” He tried to open it. It was locked. He could hear her breathing, as if she was hyperventilating.

  Suzan, still naked, appeared at his bedroom door. “There’s a problem, isn’t there?”

  “Yes! Get your coat on.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, but she didn’t sound sorry. “I thought… we had a thing.”

  He tried to think how he could have let this happen. “Every other weekend,” he snapped at her. “Your ex only gets the kids the first and the third weekend. You weren’t supposed to be here.” He had to work to keep from screaming.

  “Since I didn’t come last week, I found a sitter and thought I’d surprise you.”

  He raked a hand through his hair. “I want you to leave, okay? Leave the key. It’s over. Got it?”

  He tried not to sound furious at her, but he was. Or maybe it wasn’t Suzan he was furious with, but himself. He’d fucked up. Royally.

  When Suzan came out of his bedroom, she wore the trench coat. She looked at him and said, “Sorry.” This time it sounded real. Not that it helped.

  “Me, too,” he said and he meant it, too.

  “She’s leaving, Nikki.” He leaned his head on the door.

  “She doesn’t have to,” Nikki called back. “I’m out of here.”

  About twenty minutes later, Nikki realized she couldn’t stay in his bathroom forever, so she took a deep breath and walked out.

  He stood leaning against the hallway, still naked. “That wasn’t what it seemed.”

  “Really,” she said, swearing on everything holy that she wasn’t going cry. “Did I just imagine a naked woman standing in your bedroom?”

  “No, but—”

  “Then how is it not what it seemed?” Storming past him, she snagged her purse.

  He moved in front of the door. “I haven’t slept with her since I met you. You can’t hold this against me.”

  “You told me you weren’t involved.”

  “I wasn’t involved.”

  A knot of emotion built in her chest. “How long have you been seeing her?”

  He raked a hand through his hair. “Four months. But—”

  “She had a key, right?”

  “Yes, but it wasn’t a relationship.”

  “What defines a relationship in your screwed-up testosterone-soaked brain?”

  “It was… sex, Nikki. Just sex.”

  The words rolled over with the subtlety of a dump truck. She jerked her chin up higher and poked him in the chest. “Let me tell you something, buddy. I’m sick and tired of how ‘just sex’ has screwed up my life. I was abandoned by my own parents because of ‘just sex.’ And I found my husband humping my hired help and I lost my marriage, my sense of self-worth, and most everything in my bank account, because of ‘just sex.’ I’m sick of it. And I’m sick with myself because I realize that this is what we’re all about. Just sex.” She stormed out.

  She cried all the way to her apartment. She cried all the way to her bed. She cried all the way until sunrise. It was after twelve when she opened her eyes, remembered, and started crying again.

  How had she let herself get back in this situation? After a fifteen-minute pity party, she rolled out of bed, dried her eyes, and vowed not to crater. She heard her apartment phone beeping when she passed it on the end table. She’d taken it off the hook last night when it had started ringing as soon as she’d gotten inside.

  She went to her kitchen table, sat down, realized she didn’t even have any coffee, and dropped her aching head down on the table. It throbbed harder. She almost succumbed to tears, then decided she couldn’t let herself do that. So she stood, mentally pulled up her big girl panties, and made herself a cup of decaffeinated tea.

  Hearing her cell phone beep with missed calls, she almost ignored it. Then, realizing it could be Nana, she dug it out of her purse.

  She hit the call log to see who’d called. Dallas. Dallas. Dallas. Dallas. Dallas. Dallas.

  Her head throbbed each time she read his name. Ah, finally Nana.

  Taking a deep breath, she hit redial. “You called?” she asked.

  “Dallas called,” Nana said.

  “Sorry. Unplug your phone or just leave it off the hook. That’s what I did.”

  “What happened, Nikki?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it”

  “You went looking for potholes, didn’t you?” Nana asked.

  Nikki hiccupped. “Wasn’t looking for it. But I fell in it. And it’s the size of Houston, Nana.” She bit down on her lip to stop her voice from shaking.

  She heard Nana sigh. “If I need to go neuter that boy, you just say the word.”

  “No, let him keep his balls,” Nikki said. “It’s all he has going for himself.”

  Someone banged on her front door. “Uh, I’d better go. I’ll call you later.”

  The pounding got louder.

  “You sure you’re okay? You want me to come over?”

  “I’m fine.” She hung up.

  The pounding came again, followed by his voice. “Nikki, I know you’re in there. Your car’s here. Please open the door.”

  Only when hell starts growing snowmen.

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’m sitting right here until you open this door. I don’t care if it’s all day.”

  Reaching for her purse, she dug out a certain business card, picked up her phone and made a call.

  Dallas, sitting on his ass beside Nikki’s door, heard footsteps and looked up. His butt was sore, his gut hurt, his head was pounding, and his heart felt as if some rottweiler had used it for a chew toy.

  He so was not in the mood to face his brother.

  Tony folded his arms over his chest a
nd looked down at him. “Hey.”

  “Please tell me she didn’t call you.”

  “You want me to lie?”

  “Fuck.” Dallas got to his feet. “Just leave.”

  “She said if I didn’t get you out of here, she was calling the real police. Obviously, I’m not the real police.”

  “She won’t do that.”

  “I wouldn’t bet on it. She sounded really pissed. I mean she never got that mad when I was accusing her of murder. What the hell did you do?”

  Dallas’s chest tightened. He started pacing. “I think I love her. No. I do love her. And now I look back at the last few days and I see every fucking time I screwed up. It’s just like you and Dad tried to tell me. I had my head buried in the fucking sand. I didn’t want to admit what I was feeling. Anytime I was tempted to take a step closer, I’d shut down and convince myself that what I was doing was enough. Enough to convince her to hang in there with me. Why the hell didn’t I listen?”

  Dallas stopped walking and Tony stepped closer. “Nobody listens until they’re ready to hear. Your ex did a number on you. You had to get here on your own time.”

  Dallas raked a hand over his face again. “I didn’t invite her to go to the cemetery. I told Dad it wasn’t serious—in front of her. Can you believe I did that? Then I told her she’d eventually have to move out. What the hell was I thinking?”

  “You weren’t thinking,” Tony said.

  “Yeah, but…” He pressed a hand to his forehead. “How do I fix it?”

  “For starters, let her calm down.”

  Dallas started pacing again. “She’s not going to forgive me. And I don’t blame her.”

  “Tell her you were scared and didn’t mean it. Women love it when we admit our mistakes.”

  “I don’t know. This was… bad.” He went back to pacing. “Suzan showed up.”

  “Suzan?”

  “I told you about her. My fuck buddy.” Just saying it made him sound like a cold bastard. He was a cold bastard!

  Tony’s brow pinched. “She actually showed up when Nikki was there? Ouch.”

  “Nikki will never understand. Suzan came in wearing nothing but a damn trench coat and then Nikki came out of the bathroom and… and…”

  Tony’s eyes widened. “They were both naked.”

  Dallas looked at his brother’s expression. “If you as so much as grin, I swear I’ll knock you on your ass.”

  Hold on to her, son. You’ll regret it if you don’t. His dad’s words never felt truer than right now.

  Later that afternoon, Tony parked in front of his house and sat in his car a few minutes. Running his hand over the steering wheel, he stared at the house and a sense of rightness filled his chest. How many times had he parked at his apartment and sat there feeling empty, alone. This was home. And it had nothing to do with the structure, the brick, the walls or the furnishings inside the house. It was the person waiting for him. Her touch. Her smile. Her kiss.

  LeAnn had called and said she’d be home early because of a scheduling mix-up. She wanted him to know she’d be waiting on him. Impatiently. She wanted him. And more importantly, he knew she loved him. Had never stopped loving him.

  He remembered them showering together last night. And making love in the bed afterward. And the three times after that. It had been so damn perfect. It had been so damn right.

  And so damn wrong.

  Not once had they mentioned Emily.

  Going to the cemetery with his dad and Dallas had been hell. He’d left them alone and forced himself to walk over to his daughter’s grave. He ended up going to his car and weeping. It had hurt, but it had also somehow helped. And that’s what he and LeAnn needed.

  And this morning when he’d left LeAnn in her bed, he’d stood outside that nursery door and he knew they needed to talk. They needed to put away the bed. They need to move past this. And the only way to move past it was to face it.

  But what if she refused to cooperate? What if it pushed LeAnn away?

  He reached into his backseat and snagged a couple of tools he’d need to disassemble the crib he’d worked so hard to put together eighteen months ago. Tucking the tools in his back pocket, he prayed he wouldn’t lose LeAnn a second time, and opened the front door.

  LeAnn popped off the sofa and ran into his arms. She wore another sundress, similar to the one she’d worn the day before. This one was pink. He loved her in pink. She kissed him, softly, seductively, the kind of kiss that a woman meant to lead somewhere.

  Closing the front door, he took her by the hand and started walking. “We have to do something.”

  “Eager, aren’t you?” she teased.

  His chest felt heavy. He stopped in the middle of the hall and then turned and looked at her. “You know I love you, right?”

  She looked at him. “Of course I do.”

  “We have to move past it.”

  “Move past…” Her gaze shot to the nursery door. He pulled the wrench from his pocket. She started shaking her head. “No, Tony.”

  “Yes.”

  “No!” She swung around to walk away, but he caught her around her middle and pulled her against him.

  “No!” she screamed and tried to get away.

  He didn’t let her go. He held her against him, and waited for her to stop fighting.

  He listened to her sobs. Big and deep, they ripped at his heart. Then she stopped struggling.

  “I love you,” he whispered. “We can do this together.”

  She turned in his arms and looked at him. Tears stained her face.

  “Together,” he repeated.

  He opened the door. She hesitated but finally walked inside with him.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I should have saved her. I’m a nurse. That’s what I do. I should have saved her!” She fell to the floor and rocked herself back and forth.

  “No!” He dropped down beside her and dragged her into his lap. Tears rolled down his own cheeks. “LeAnn, look at me.” He pulled her hands from her face. “This isn’t your fault. We lost something precious. I blamed myself for a long time, too. I should have checked on her before I went to bed. I should have been a better person. Not worked so much.” He breathed in. “I was eaten alive with guilt. But it wasn’t our fault.”

  She buried her head on his shoulder and he just held her. They stayed like that for the longest time. Time enough that sunlight that once brightened the room faded to a purple glow.

  “You ready to help me?” he asked.

  She nodded. They both got up and, together, they took apart the crib they had once put together. Piece by piece. They both cried. And they talked about Emily. About how sweet she was. About how they would never stop loving her.

  When they finished, they put the bed in the attic until they decided what to do with it, then went to bed. They didn’t make love. They were both too emotionally spent. But she held on to him the whole night and he held her, and Tony knew everything was going to be okay.

  On Monday, Nikki decided to take a mental health day. The fact that she’d done the same on Saturday and Sunday was unimportant. So instead of opening the gallery, she stayed in bed until ten. Then she got up, brushed her teeth—which hadn’t been brushed in two days—drank another decaf tea, ate the last of sixteen cupcakes Nana had dropped by, and opened a can of tuna and called it breakfast. After managing only a bite, she phoned Nana and set up a lunch date.

  At lunch at her favorite restaurant, Nikki ordered enough for an army and didn’t eat enough for a bird.

  Seated across from her, Nana didn’t eat much more. “You gonna spill the beans, child?”

  “No beans to spill,” Nikki said.

  Nana shot her the parenting scowl that still held weight. Giving in, Nikki told Nana the truth. The whole truth.

  “That jerkwad wanted you to have a threesome?” Nana asked.

  “No. From what I overheard he didn’t know she was showing up.”

  “But he confessed that he�
��d been having sex with her since you two met?”

  “No, it’s not that.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “He lied to me. He said he wasn’t involved. And then he said it was just sex.”

  Nana placed a hand on Nikki’s arm. “Sweetheart, from a male perspective involved takes on a whole new meaning. I’m not saying it’s right. What I’m saying is maybe he wasn’t lying. Have you considered that you might be punishing Dallas for something your parents and dumbass ex did—God bless that dead man’s heart.”

  Nikki went on the defensive. “Dallas never wasted an opportunity to let me know that we weren’t serious.”

  “Sounds like he was as scared as you are,” Nana said, pouring herself a cup of hot tea.

  Nikki stared at her grandmother. “You’re supposed to take my side, not his.”

  “Oh Nikki, I’m not taking his side. I told him if he came within ten feet of you I was taking a pair of wire clippers to his balls. Funny thing is, usually that keeps a guy from calling back. Not Dallas. He’s called twice a day asking if you were okay. And each time he asked me to tell you that he needed to talk to you.”

  “No,” Nikki said and had to swallow to keep from crying.

  “Just think about it, Nikki. Just think about it.”

  Tuesday was another mental health day. And her last, she swore. Nikki called Eddie Nance and offered him a part-time job at the gallery. It made her happy hearing the excitement in his voice… not so happy when he said, “Dallas misses you.”

  Then she went to see Ellen who was finally out of the hospital and spending a week or so with her parents. Nikki had avoided Ellen since the whole Dallas disaster. Her friend deserved to recover in peace and not be dumped on. All Nikki had to do was keep from dumping.

  Nikki had worried for nothing. Dallas had already dumped. “How dare he come to you with this!” she said to Ellen.

  “He didn’t. I called him looking for you when you wouldn’t answer the phone. And he sounded like warmed over baby poo.”

  “I’m sorry. Not for him, but for worrying you.” Nikki sat down at the kitchen table beside Ellen. The sun streamed in through the large window looking out at the backyard pool.