Evergreen Springs

by RaeAnne Thayne

  Inside the hut, he could hear her helping the others change. She was such a nurturer, always taking care of everyone around her.

  Did she see him as just another wounded bird, one more broken creature for her to tend?

  “You ever need cash, you could really rake it in by developing this place a little more,” Archie Peralta said from inside the soaking pool. “You’d just have to put in a couple more changing huts and maybe some better steps, for us old turkeys.”

  “And maybe a concession stand selling hot cocoa,” Ronald Brewer chimed in.

  He couldn’t imagine anything he would hate more. He had come to the ranch for solace, wide-open space to rebuild his life. The last thing he needed was for the place to be overrun with people.

  “I appreciate the suggestions. Right now, I’m not really interested in going into the hot springs business.”

  “It’s not a bad idea.”

  Cole’s jaw set at his father’s contribution to the conversation. He didn’t want to engage Stan but he had to disagree.

  “It’s a terrible idea. I don’t want a bunch of strangers traipsing around the ranch. Present company excluded, of course.”

  “This kind of natural mineral spring is rare and special,” Stan said. “You could certainly capitalize on the exclusivity of it, allowing only a few people a day to use it for a commensurate fee.”

  He frowned. “Evergreen Springs is a cattle ranch and it’s becoming a horse training operation of some renown. As long as I own the majority share, that’s how it’s going to stay.”

  Stan looked as if he wanted to argue but he closed his mouth. Smart of him. As far as Cole was concerned, his father had lost the right to make decisions for the ranch when he walked away from it as a young man without looking back. He couldn’t expect to show up now and start pushing his weight around, changing things and inserting himself into a family that didn’t want him.

  Devin and one of the Brewer sisters—Eppie, he thought—came out of the changing hut a moment later. Devin had changed into a tracksuit and parka and her hair hung in wavy curls around her face.

  “The others are almost done, if you gentlemen want to start making your way out of the pool.”

  Stan was the first one out. “Think I’ll just head back to my place to change,” Stan said. He dried off with a big beach towel and wrapped it around him, apparently not at all bothered by the brisk December air.

  “Better hurry or all of Hazel’s almond shortcake will be gone,” Eppie said with a bright smile. “Don’t worry, though. We’ll try to save you some hot cocoa.”

  Cole tensed. It was one thing for his father to be here at the hot spring. He didn’t know how to prevent that. But Stan wasn’t welcome at the house.

  Stan dropped the smaller towel he was briskly rubbing around his still-thick hair and gave Cole a quick look, then turned to Eppie. “I appreciate that, but I’ll have to take a rain check, though I do love almond shortcake. I’m afraid I have to get back. I have a puppy who causes havoc if I’m away too long.”

  “His name is Buster and he’s so cute,” Jazmyn gushed.

  Stan smiled down at her with clear affection that made Cole grind his teeth. What a pitiful ploy, to use a puppy to get to his children. The obvious manipulation pissed him off maybe even worse than Stan showing up at the ranch out of the blue.

  “It’s sure nice to see you again, Stanford,” Eppie said. “You’ve been away far too long. Your mother would have been happy to know you’ve finally come home.”

  Ever the charmer except to his own children, Stan kissed her cheek and then, with a quick look at his son, he did the same to Devin before he climbed into his silver SUV and headed down the mountainside.

  “I wish we could see Buster again,” Ty said, his voice soft and dreamy, maybe even a little sleepy from soaking in the relaxing mineral waters.

  The boy leaned his damp head against Cole’s arm, a spontaneous, heartwarming gesture of trust and affection from this boy he loved so much.

  “He’s the cutest dog ever,” Jazmyn said in the same sort of wistful tone.

  Cole watched his father go, his chest thick with a jumble of emotion.

  His life had seemed so much easier when he had just been trying to make a go of a small Idaho ranch on his own and driving as often as he could manage to wherever Sharla had taken the kids this time.

  Easier wasn’t the same thing as better, though. He wouldn’t change anything, even with his father’s presence on the ranch like a constant burr beneath his saddle.

  * * *

  AFTER EVERYONE CHANGED and the caravan wended its way back to the ranch house, Cole made sure his guests were set up with refreshments under Letty’s expert care before he grabbed a piece of Hazel’s famous almond shortcake on a plate and retreated to his office.

  He was deep in the midst of going over the quarterly financial statement from his accountant when a soft knock interrupted him.

  “Yeah. Come in.”

  Somehow he wasn’t surprised to find Devin there with a plate full of a few more cookies and a mug of hot cocoa.

  He didn’t care about the snacks. She was the one who looked good enough to eat.

  “I snagged a few more cookies for you before everybody left.”

  “Is the party over, then?”

  She laughed softly. “If that was a party, it was a very low-key one. Everybody is all loose and relaxed after soaking in your mineral spring. I think Paul actually might have fallen asleep over his cocoa for a minute.”

  He managed a smile, even as she came closer to set the plate on the edge of his desk, stirring the air currents with the flowers-and-strawberries scent of her.

  “I just stopped by before leaving to thank you once more for allowing us to use the spring this week. I guess it was fairly obvious that everybody enjoyed it very much.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She didn’t move away. If he reached out a hand, he could tug her into his lap...

  “Your father skipped the hot cocoa soiree, I noticed.”

  “He at least had the wisdom to know that while I can’t prevent him from moving freely around the ranch, this is my house and he’s not welcome here.”

  She sighed, leaning against the edge of the desk. “I wish you could have seen him while we were in the water. I could tell from his face that he wanted so badly to talk to Ty or Jazmyn, but he forced himself to stay away from them.”

  “Good.”

  “Okay, I know this is none of my business. It’s your family, your choice. But I just have to say this one more time, and then I’ll drop it forever, I swear. Your father is trying to reach out. That’s an amazing gift and I don’t think you see it. My own father is gone and I would give anything to have the chance to spend a little more time with him while I had him.”

  “My father is not yours.”

  “I get that. Believe me. What I don’t understand is, given the hard road you have traveled yourself, why can’t you accept that someone else might just be trying to climb over rubble left from the choices he’s made?”

  “You can’t step in and heal this one, Devin. Let it go.”

  “I don’t want to heal anything,” she protested. “I just see a man who would like to be part of his grandchildren’s lives and two lost and hurting children who need all the love and support they can find at this painful time in their lives.”

  “How would it help Ty and Jazmyn to develop a relationship with their grandfather, only to sustain another loss when he gets tired of whatever game he’s playing and moves on?”

  “But what if it’s not a game?” she pressed. “What if your father sincerely wants to make a change in his life? He’s come all this way. Why else would he do that?”

  He pushed away from the desk and rose, furious with her, with
his father, with the whole screwed-up situation—furious mostly at himself, for so desperately wanting something he could never have, because of a lifetime of poor choices.

  “The decisions I make for the good of my children are none of your concern.”

  “I know that, but—”

  “But nothing. Stay out of my family’s business, Dr. Shaw, unless it relates to the medical care you give my sister.”

  She paled as if he had just shanked her in the gut. He felt like the world’s biggest ass and wanted to tell her he was sorry, that he didn’t mean any of it, but maybe it was for the best. If he was harsh enough to her, she might finally take her soft compassion and her sweet kisses and stay the hell away from him. Maybe then, he could go back to trying to figure out how he was going to get along without her.

  “So I’m back to being Dr. Shaw now?” she asked quietly.

  “Yes. That’s the way we should have kept things.”

  He didn’t want to hurt her but he didn’t know how else he could regain a little control over the situation. He should never have let things go so far, let her slip into their lives and their hearts.

  “I appreciate all your help these last few weeks with the kids but as far as I’m concerned, this is the end of things. I agreed to let you and your friends use the hot spring twice and you have. That’s it. I fulfilled my side of things and now we’re done.”

  Her face paled a shade further, leaving her eyes a stark, wounded green.

  Was he destined to hurt every single person who ever had the misfortune to come into his world?

  He wanted, more than he had ever wanted anything—even his freedom during those hellish months in prison—that things could be different for them.

  That he could be different.

  “We’re done. Just like that.” Her voice wavered just a little before she seemed to find control.

  Though his heart felt as if it was cracking apart, he forced a casual shrug and put on his best playa smile, the one he used to use on all the hot little things who couldn’t wait to get him out of his Wranglers.

  “If my circumstances were different, I might be tempted to stretch things out a little longer. I’ve been a long time without sex and you’re a beautiful, enthusiastic woman. We obviously have chemistry together and it would be fun to see where things go.”

  “Fun.” Now her voice didn’t wobble at all. It was flat, hard, emotionless.

  “Sure. I think the two of us would really rip up the sheets together, don’t you? But I’ve got two kids to consider—kids who just lost the only constant in their life, no matter how unstable their mother might have been. They need my full attention right now. I don’t have time for the distraction of a fling with you, no matter how tempted I might be by what you’ve been offering since the day we met.”

  She stared at him, eyes huge in her face.

  “Besides that,” he forced himself to go on, “I’ve got Sharla’s mother breathing down my neck, trying her best to take custody of the kids. I can’t give Trixie any more grounds to appeal. I’m sure you can understand that. For both our sakes—all our sakes, really—it would be best if you stayed away from Evergreen Springs, now that I’ve fulfilled my side of the bargain.”

  “Well. That’s certainly clear enough.” Her hands were shaking a little but she shoved them into her pockets. His chest felt achy and tight, as if he’d just run to the top of the Redemptions and back.

  Had he pissed her off enough? He couldn’t tell. There was still a shadow of doubt in her eyes, as if she suspected he was deliberately trying to push her away. She was too insightful, damn it.

  He decided he had no choice but to ramp things up. He had always been particularly talented at taking a bad situation and making it worse. Why stop now?

  “Consider yourself fortunate,” he drawled. “We never got around to screwing, so at least you don’t have that complication to add to the mix. I don’t like breaking hearts if I don’t have to.”

  She stared at him for a long moment, until he felt small and stupid and worthless. Any doubt or confusion in her eyes had been completely eradicated. Now she just looked at him with all the disgust he thought should have been there all along.

  “Oh, certainly. You can be sure I’ll be thanking my lucky stars from now until next Christmas for that.”

  She rose from the chair and walked out without another word.

  As soon as she left, he wanted to call her back. He wanted to race after her, wrap his arms around her, bury his face in her neck and beg her to forgive him. He wanted to tell her he didn’t mean a word he said, that he needed her, that he would try to make a little peace with his father if she thought that was for the best.

  He did none of those things, of course. He sat at his desk, wishing—as he had never wanted a damn thing in his life—that he could be the sort of man she deserved.

  * * *

  DEVIN WALKED OUT of the ranch office with her head high and her spine straight while her emotions seemed as fragile and frayed as antique lace.

  I don’t have time for the distraction of a fling with you, no matter how tempted I might be by what you’ve been offering since the day we met.

  The words seemed to race around her head and she wanted to die of humiliation. He had seen what she refused to face, that she had been attracted to him, that she had wanted him, from the very beginning.

  Of course he wouldn’t want her in return. Why would he? Sure, he had kissed her and pretended to be attracted to her but only because she was warm and willing and there. She didn’t have anything that would keep a man interested for long.

  Her hands were trembling. All of her was trembling and she was suddenly ice-cold, as if she had walked out of the warm, soothing waters of Evergreen Springs into a raging blizzard.

  She walked down the hallway to the great room, where she spotted the beautiful Christmas tree he had cut down. The time decorating it with his darling children would always be precious to her.

  So many memories of the past few weeks poured through her. Listening to him sing Christmas carols in the afternoon hush of a quiet barn, enjoying the boat parade through the eyes of his children, driving through Shelter Springs to look at Christmas lights.

  Heated kisses and tender moments.

  Had she imagined the feelings growing between them? Had they been entirely lopsided? If so, he was an amazing actor, much better than she would ever have guessed. Maybe his time in prison had taught him how to conceal his true emotions.

  She stopped dead. Prison. Of course.

  That scene in his office had been the act. That wasn’t the man she knew, the one she’d fallen in love with. He had been trying to push Devin from their lives.

  The surly ex-con washed-up rodeo star and the well-respected town doctor. Isn’t that what he had said the other night?

  She had just been played. He had wanted her to see him as the womanizing player he used to be as a reminder of all that he had done.

  She wanted to march back into the office and throw his words back at him, to see if she was right.

  She couldn’t, she realized as a fresh wave of pain washed over her. Whatever was the truth, even if he had feelings for her, he had made it plain he didn’t want her in their lives. That, at least, was no act.

  Oh, it would hurt to walk away from him and from the children she had come to cherish.

  The worst thing was knowing it was her own fault. She had pushed herself into their world, knocking over barriers and objections from him, certain she could help them.

  McKenzie had told her more than once that she suffered from some kind of Messiah Complex, the fierce need to try repairing everything broken within her sphere.

  She couldn’t deny it. To some degree, everyone who entered the medical profession suffered from it a little. She loved to fix peopl
e.

  Her own recovery—which plenty of her doctors and nurses weren’t shy about calling nothing short of miraculous—played a big part in that. She had been healed thanks to advances in modern medicine and perhaps the natural healing effects of Lake Haven, thus she felt a great obligation to extend the same gift to others.

  Of course, that Messiah Complex was quickly beaten out of most first-year medical students by the reality of life and the frailties and idiosyncrasies of the human body. She had learned early that she couldn’t heal everyone.

  In Cole’s situation, she had only wanted to help. She had fallen for his kids—prickly, bossy, adorable Jazmyn and sweet, sweet Ty—and had wanted to ease their pain a little. Now she was afraid she would only cause them more pain when she extricated herself from their world.

  What choice did she have? Cole had made it plain she was no longer welcome at Evergreen Springs.

  She wasn’t sure how long she stood in the entryway, trying to summon the strength to walk out those doors for the last time. She was close to it when Letty walked out of the kitchen and found her there.

  “You’re leaving?” Letty asked.

  Yes. Forever. Devin forced a smile, even though her heart ached.

  “I have to go. I...should run to the hospital to check on a few of my patients.”

  “You work too hard, my dear.”

  Work was all she had. The rest of her life stretched ahead of her, empty and barren. She loved Cole and his children and the idea of walking away from them devastated her.

  “If the people of Haven Point would just stop getting sick, I wouldn’t have to,” she managed. “Where are the kids?”

  “They’re finishing their homework.”

  “I’d...like to say goodbye,” she said.

  She walked in and found them both squabbling over one last cookie on a plate. Ty finally broke it in half and gave the larger piece to his sister, a sweet gesture that broke her heart all over again.

  “Hey, kids,” she said in a falsely cheerful tone. “I have to go.”