Ocean's Cage

by Carlton, Demelza

  "The motorcycle shop for some parts to fix my Triumph. Perhaps a few spares, too, in case the crabs decide to attack again."

  No, the siren will behave in future and not rile them up again, I thought but didn't say. "Can I come with you?" I asked instead. "In Fremantle, I always eyed off the motorcycles, wishing I had the money to buy one, but I was saving for the search for you. Now I've found you, I have the funds to buy what I want. A Triumph like yours." I remembered his generous gift this morning. "I still have enough in Australian pounds."

  "Are you sure you want to be riding a motorcycle, what with your state of health and all? You've only had one lesson, lass – you don't even know how to ride all that well yet. Wouldn't you like to wait until you recover and you know what you're doing?" His eyes searched mine and I know he saw the yearning there. No, I didn't want to wait. Patience was a virtue I didn't own and I'd waited long enough.

  I sighed. "I want you to teach me and it might be easier if you can show me and I copy what you do on my own motorcycle. But I can wait a few more days, until I'm over my seasickness."

  William chuckled. "More like tea sickness. You fall ill from the smell of tea. We leave Singapore early on Saturday. If you're well enough by Friday, I'll take you to buy whatever you wish, provided you promise only to ride with me on the island."

  Tea sickness. It was as good a reason as any for my weak stomach. I agreed. William dropped a kiss on top of my head, grabbed his hat and headed out.

  I nibbled at the breakfast pastry left on my plate. Buttery, flaky pastry melted on my tongue and I dared to sink my teeth into the soft centre. The bitter taste of chocolate made me gasp in surprise. Had William known the croissant contained chocolate when he set it on my plate? I took another tiny bite and more of the filling came with it. Bitter at first, yes, but it quickly grew sweet and combined with the buttery pastry was definitely something I wanted to eat more of. Provided I could keep it down, of course.

  A porter arrived with our luggage, leaving it in the corner of our room before he departed again with our breakfast things and my request for more chocolate croissants for breakfast tomorrow. I unpacked a few things, putting my hatpins in the pin box, then found myself with nothing to do. A burning desire to ask for Merry's advice on my illness sent me back to my trunk for my fountain pen and some writing paper. I could ask her – I just wouldn't get an immediate answer.

  I carried my writing things to the desk, only to discover a sheaf of far superior paper already waited there for me. Sheets stamped with the likeness and address of the Adelphi Hotel. I sat down, pulled one of the pretty sheets toward me, and began to write.

  I thanked her for her advice and hoped she was well. I told her that I'd found William and that I'd become his wife. I made no mention of my journey to the island or my hermit's life in the cave – that touched too close to the nature I wished to conceal. I described island life, and wildlife, smiling as I wrote about the bat that splattered into my soup at my first dinner on Christmas Island. I explained that I was visiting Singapore on a shopping expedition and then I stopped. I longed to tell her about my health, but everything else I'd written was so cheerful. Did I truly need to trouble her further with my mysterious tea sickness? If I simply avoided the stuff, perhaps my nausea would disappear, too. Maybe...maybe I could ask her in my next letter, I decided, signing my new name for the first time. Mrs Maria McGregor – yes, that was me. Merry would be happy for me, I was certain of it.

  The desk held envelopes as well as writing paper, so I sealed my letter in one of those, carefully addressing it to Merry. I turned it over to write my return address and faltered, because I wasn't sure how to address a letter to Christmas Island as I'd never received one before.

  A crash made me jump. I stared at the open door, which the porter had definitely closed behind him. William looked almost as surprised as I was.

  "Sorry, I'm late, lass," he said breathlessly. "Didn't have all the parts I wanted. Some will have to be ordered from the factory and that'll take weeks." He slumped against the door frame, panting as if he'd run all the way up the stairs before he crashed through the door. "What did you do while I was gone?"

  I waved at the envelope. "Writing a letter to Merry in Fremantle. I wasn't sure what our address was for her to reply to."

  "Just care of the Christmas Island post office, lass. In the Straits Settlements. It'll reach you."

  I scribbled as he spoke. "Thank you. Is there a post office here in Singapore where I can post it?"

  "Of course, lass. I'll take it for you unless you're feeling well enough to venture out to do some shopping with me this afternoon." He grinned. "After our conversation this morning, I can't get the thought out of my head of how much I'd like to see you in silk." His eyes strayed to the bed. Sure enough, the bedspread looked like it was made of a shiny fabric that could be silk.

  "Whatever you have planned sounds wonderful to me," I replied, reaching for my hat. "But first, you promised me Swiss chocolate."

  Eighteen

  The week whirled by in a riot of activity. Shopping, tasting the delights of the mysterious chef's tea and cakes, more shopping, seeing the sights, more shopping and dinner, then falling into bed and William's willing arms for the climax of my day. Well, given that my lover was William, usually several. He was unfailingly generous and I didn't stint him, either. I'd never felt so well-loved in my life.

  My trunks had multiplied from the half-filled one I'd brought from Fremantle to four, all packed to the brim. I had enough dresses to last me a month without washing, and riding pants just like William's, though tailored to fit my curved body. We'd found a tea merchant who had both Chinese jasmine and Japanese green tea, so several chests of the stuff had been sent to the Islander. One trunk was filled with books alone, to my delight and William's amusement. I opened it just to stare at all of my new treasures, anticipating the pleasure of reading them on the veranda at home while I waited for William to return for breakfast.

  "Don't forget this one." William held up the volume from my nightstand.

  "I haven't. That belongs to the hotel. I should return it before I forget." I took the book from his hand and headed downstairs to the hotel library. At the foot of the stairs, I almost ran into a boy dressed in the hotel uniform.

  "A message, Mem," he said, holding out an envelope.

  I scanned the front. It was similar stationery to the envelope I'd posted Merry's letter in, only this had a different hotel name stamped on it: the Raffles Hotel. A rival but inferior establishment to the Adelphi, or so William had said. "This is addressed to my husband. He's in our room upstairs. You'd best take it to him."

  The boy nodded and raced up the stairs.

  Out in the courtyard, the caged parrots started up a cacophony that probably meant a stray cat had entered the yard. Some people pitied the birds their cages, instead of letting them fly free, but their prison bars meant security and protection. They were fed by hand, cosseted by countless guests and even now a boy ran out with a stick to chase the cat away.

  I continued on to the library, returned my book to the shelf with a longing look at its companions and the comfortable reading room, before reluctantly heading back up to our room. The boy was nowhere in sight and William had his hat in his hands.

  "We're invited to tea at the Raffles this afternoon, lass, before the Islander departs," William told me. "So make sure everything's packed, for we won't be coming back here this trip."

  All my things were already packed, so I shrugged. "Who do we know who'd stay at the Raffles Hotel?"

  William smiled thinly. "Hughes always stays there. And so do other Europeans who've read Kipling and know nothing of Singapore. When there are new passengers for the Islander, though, Hughes invites everyone to afternoon tea to get acquainted. He's well acquainted with me and he's already met you, so I presume Mr Murray has finally come to visit the island to inspect the mine. He's been absent nigh on ten years, they say, so he's overdue for an inspection. He'll
stay in Edinburgh, in the original European houses in the cove, but expect a full round of society engagements if he brings his wife or his daughter."

  Good thing I'd been practicing my etiquette day and night here in the hotel. I hadn't noticed a single pitying glance pointed toward me in my time here – something I'd never managed during an afternoon tea with Anne.

  "Shall we, then?" I asked.

  Nineteen

  Our rickshaw pulled up outside a grander building than the Adelphi appeared to be, if only because the Raffles Hotel wasn't wedged in between buildings of a similar size. This grand edifice stood alone. A pity, though, for its isolation meant there was no shelter from the torrential afternoon shower other than in the hotel itself. William hoisted an umbrella above us to keep the worst of the rain off me as we ran for the entrance.

  Inside, I saw little difference to the Adelphi aside from the layout. The opulence I'd become accustomed to didn't faze me in the slightest now, though the marble floors were decidedly slippery under my rain-slicked shoes. I grasped William's arm firmly and managed not to lose my footing today, though I had an interesting collection of yellowing bruises from colliding with palm trees as I slipped and slid on the wet marble at the Adelphi after the daily afternoon downpour.

  One of the hotel staff took William's hat and umbrella and I was tempted to hand him my hat, too, just to see what he did with it. It was firmly pinned to my hair, though, so I resisted temptation. If we were meeting William's employer, I needed to look my best.

  We entered a crowded dining room and William paused in the doorway to search the faces of those present. I spotted Captain Hughes almost immediately, seated beside a woman with her back to me. His gaze met mine and he rose, offering a slight bow in my direction. The woman turned in her seat to see what had caught her companion's attention. Ocean blue eyes set in a pale face mesmerised me, just as they had the first time I'd seen them. William pulled me aside to allow the passage of one of the hotel staff, bearing a laden tray of steaming teapots. Steam wafted behind him, clouding the air as I inhaled. And my stomach revolted.

  I dropped to my knees and decorated a potted palm tree with the regurgitated remains of my lunch. Inwardly, I cursed the waiter and all tea-drinking Englishmen to oblivion. For a moment, I wanted to raise my voice in a song to change their taste for tea forever. But humans didn't enslave the minds of other humans, I reminded myself. Especially not when one of them had those unmistakeable eyes.

  A strong hand grasped mine and helped me to my feet.

  "Thank you," I said, turning to smile at William.

  "You're welcome, lass," said the woman who was unmistakably his sister.

  Beside her, William coughed. "Ah, this is my wife, Maria, and this is my sister, Mrs Whyte."

  "Sarah," she corrected, eyeing me up and down. "Good thing I'm here, Will. I had a feeling I was needed when I didn't hear from you. I didn't think it was because...well, congratulations." She turned to me. "How did he take the news?"

  "What news?" I asked hoarsely.

  Sarah glanced from me to William, then elbowed me painfully in the ribs.

  I whimpered and pushed her away.

  She nodded knowingly. "Is that tender, lass? Don't know what your mother was thinking, not telling you what to watch out for."

  My mother told me to watch out for plenty. Nosy, interfering humans for a start. But William would never forgive me if I killed his sister. Who'd probably faint if she knew what my mother was, let alone her thoughts.

  William looked just as lost as I was. Ah, good. Then his sister probably was talking nonsense. I relaxed a little and tucked my arm into his.

  "You're going to be a father, you dolt. The lass has morning sickness and all the symptoms of a bonny baby growing inside. I'd best send a note to my husband and tell him that I won't be home for a bit longer. I wouldn't miss being the midwife at this birth!"

  My mouth didn't seem to want to close. Tea sickness was the mysterious mother's malady and my exile was over. If I chose, I could return to my people. And leave William.

  No. Never. I was one bird who'd never fly away from those I loved. I'd close the door of my cage and lock it. This time, I would throw away the key.

  Twenty

  Sarah insisted that we share a taxi to the Islander after we'd finished our afternoon tea and I immediately agreed, despite William's worried look. I wasn't sure what he was worried about, either. He handed me and then Sarah up into the cab, saying, "I'll be right behind you," and pointing to his own rickshaw, whose driver waited patiently.

  Once we were underway, Sarah began to ply me with questions. How far along was I, when had my illness first started, what was I planning on naming the child, when did I plan to visit Scotland... After my answers devolved into a string of "I don't know," "I'm not sure," and "I'll have to discuss that with William," she began telling me about all the delights of pregnancy I had to look forward to, as well as the birth. Her face grew increasingly animated as she related the details of a particularly difficult birth she'd assisted with back in Scotland. Fortunately, we arrived at the pier before she could launch into another gruesome tale.

  "Are you all right, lass? Not feeling ill again?" William asked anxiously as he helped me out of the cab. "You're looking a bit pale."

  I assured him I was fine, but I don't think he heard.

  He didn't leave my side as the crew made ready for the Islander's departure. The sun set in a magnificent blaze of colour as we pulled away from the pier, but William and Sarah didn't seem to notice. They conversed in low voices that were almost drowned out by the rumble of the engine so that even I couldn't discern the words. Frequent glances in my direction told me I was definitely the topic under discussion, though.

  When the ship left the harbour and the lights of Singapore grew further away, William pulled me into their little family conference. "I'd like Sarah to examine you," he said. "And the...baby. You and the baby."

  I wanted to refuse, but I knew I'd need someone to assist with the birth. I didn't trust a mermaid midwife with my child, so I'd have to rely on a human one. "Very well."

  "Right now," William insisted, tugging me away from the rail.

  When he closed the cabin door behind Sarah, my nervous anticipation grew. Human midwives didn't use dolphins in their examinations, so this would be my first taste of human medical practice.

  I was required to undress and then poked, prodded, listened to and measured as I squirmed under Sarah's probing fingers. William watched impassively, but the shadow in his eyes and the nervous bobbing of his Adam's apple as he swallowed frequently told me he was worried. Whether about me, the baby or our family situation, I didn't know, and he didn't say.

  After a while, Sarah finally permitted me to dress, but she disappeared into our bathroom to wash her hands without speaking about her findings.

  It wasn't until she'd dried her hands that she returned to the cabin and perched on one of the cane chairs.

  "Well?" William demanded. "Is she or isn't she?"

  "God preserve us from first-time fathers," Sarah responded, glaring at him. "Yes, your wife is pregnant, Will. About eight or nine weeks, I'd say, based on the size of her belly. Everything seems in order and they're both healthy enough."

  "But...the sickness?"

  She sighed loudly. "Normal. Perfectly normal. In my experience, the more sickness a mother has, the healthier the baby is when it's born. As long as she eats enough and gets a bit of exercise every day, come September, you'll be holding your first child in your arms."

  William's breath hissed out in relief.

  "Now, I'm told we have to dress for dinner and the captain's expecting us, so if you'll excuse me, Will, apparently my afternoon tea clothes aren't good enough to be worn to a fancy dinner, so I need to get changed."

  "Tell Hughes we won't be joining you. I'll send for some sandwiches from the galley if we get hungry," William replied, his eyes on me. Did I detect a dangerous glitter in them, or had I imagined i
t?

  The door clicked shut behind Sarah. William seized me in a fierce embrace, crushing his lips against mine. My desire flared in response and I left off trying to fasten my brassiere. Instead, I wrapped my arms around William and returned his passionate kiss. This seemed to set his ardour ablaze and he turned us around, pushing me toward the bed. Unused to the crowded cabin, I edged around one trunk only to catch my foot on the corner of another. I fell heavily against one of the cane chairs, tipping it over as I continued my descent to the deck.

  "Are you all right?" William gasped, reaching for me.

  "Fine," I mumbled, wincing as I surveyed my body for what felt like a dozen forming bruises. My breasts had spilled out of my brassiere, too, which now hung halfway down my arms. William pulled it out of the way and threw it aside before he lifted me up and carried me the rest of the way to the bed. Now I was clad in only my drawers, but William didn't leave me those for long. He yanked down the waistband and pressed his lips to my belly. Soft kisses feathered my skin, all the while edging lower.

  "Lass, do you think...are you feeling well enough to..." He laughed softly. "My head feels like I'm flying. I'm going to be a father and you, my beautiful wife, are carrying our child in here." Another kiss. "To blazes with propriety. I want you. God, you don't know how much."

  If he could feel the intense desire that had plagued me for weeks, he wouldn't say that. "Not as much as I want you, William."

  He stripped off his clothes, throwing them on the floor as if he didn't care where they fell. Now as naked as I was, he surveyed my body as if he couldn't decide what he wanted to do first. "Is there anything we shouldn't do, you know, because of the baby?"

  I pulled him down to the bed on top of me. "As long as you don't stop, everything will be fine, William." I whispered, arching my back as he plunged his fingers inside me. "Please don't stop."

  Twenty-One

  The next morning at breakfast, Sarah glowered at William and wouldn't say a word beyond her first curt, "Good morning." My body ached for more of William's touch, but we sat across from each other in the captain's lounge, behaving like a proper, polite married couple. Even if my thoughts strayed more than once to the thrill of William taking me on the table, beside the bowl of raspberry jam, I made sure my expression didn't betray me. My cup of Japanese green tea was never far from my lips, blocking out the smell of anyone else's tea.