The Good Girl

by Jordan Silver

  “I didn’t want to ever fall in love again, didn’t want the responsibility of another human being since I’d fucked up the last time I tried. But then I had you and the more I had the more I wanted. So I fought it and you. That’s why I refused to share your bed for anything more than sex, why I kept a cold distance between us even though it killed me.”

  “Then I found the test in the trash and I realized I could be happy again with someone. I was afraid you see, afraid of feeling too much. Afraid of losing…” He broke off then and I felt the pain of his loss. How could I not have seen it? Jonas is so passionate about everything else, but when it came to me, to us, there was this wall, this great divide. And yet when he touched me, I felt it in him; that passion that he tried so hard to keep leashed.

  “I was waiting for you to come to me, to tell me about our child. I was scared but excited at the same time. For the first time since the accident, I believed I could have it all. And then that day I couldn’t find you. The day you went out to dinner on your own.” He explained at my questioning look.

  “I almost lost my mind. I didn’t know what was going on with you but I knew there was something. I didn’t know you were jealous of my damn seventeen year old niece.”

  I cringed and looked at him apologetically. “Sorry?” I made a pathetic attempt at an apology. I couldn’t believe all that he was saying. It seemed so surreal. One day I was nursing a broken heart, believing I’d lost him forever, and the next he was giving me everything I’d ever wanted. It didn’t seem real, didn’t seem at all possible for a girl like me.

  “After that day, I hired someone to keep an eye on you. You weren’t talking and I guess I wasn’t ready to go out on a limb, but I needed to know what was going on with you. Imagine my surprise when he called in the middle of last night’s dinner to tell me you’d crossed state lines with two suitcases. I could’ve wrung your damn neck, and might’ve if I’d reached you sooner.”

  “But I had time to think on the plane ride over. I saw how I’d treated you, how I’d taken so much and given so little of myself. I felt like a Class-A bastard. I guess the fear was stronger than I thought.”

  “I lost one wife and child I couldn’t bear to go through that horror again. I didn’t want to get my heart involved, but with you I had no choice. You sideswiped me out of nowhere. Those nights when I left your bed I’d go home and pace the floor all night, missing you, wanting you, but not daring to let myself get that close again.”

  “But when I got that call last night, old fears took a backseat. I can’t lose you Thalia, it would kill me.” If my eyes got any wider they’d pop right out of my head. Was he really saying these things to me? He stood from his seat and knelt down in front of me, taking my hands in his.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you, sorry I made you feel you couldn’t come to me at a time when you needed me most, but I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He lifted my hands to his lips and kissed my quivering knuckles.

  “I understand. You loved your wife and son very much and the loss was…” He turned a cold harsh look up to me and I recoiled back in my chair.

  “Never mention her to me again.” My mouth as was usual when dealing with Jonas, hanging down to my chin. “What? But I thought…”

  “She betrayed me and it cost me my son.” He got up and strolled to the end of the patio and back.

  I could see it was hard for him to talk about, but I wanted to know. I didn’t want anymore secrets between us.

  “The day my son was killed, my wife had broken things off with her lover. He didn’t want to let her go, so he ran her off the road. He didn’t care that my son was in that car.” There was such pain in his voice I found the courage to get up and go to him. I ached for him as I put my arms around him to offer comfort.

  “ I had no idea about any of it, but it all came out at his allocution. I had to pay a lot of money to keep that hidden.”

  “Where is he?”

  “In prison, he pled out hoping for leniency but the judge threw the book at him. Which was a good thing because if they’d given him anything less than life I would’ve killed the bastard.”

  “But I don’t understand. If he loved her why would he try to kill her?”

  “She’d told him she was going to give our marriage a second chance. Apparently I was spending too much time at the office and on business, which was a crock. I never neglected my family. She fucked him because she wanted to. It was something she and her little country club friends cooked up. Some kind of sick game they played to see who could bag the most dick while their unsuspecting husbands were at the office brokering deals to keep them in designer wear and Hermes handbags.”

  This was all too much to take in at once. Those pictures I’d studied for weeks had all been a lie? Couldn’t be. The woman in those pictures was happy, content and radiant.

  “Anyway, it seems while she was playing a game he fell in love. Cynthia was easy to fall for; she was a great actress. I never knew any of this was going on until that day. Like everyone else I’d thought it was just a random accident, but after that day in court I hired someone to get to the truth. He wasn’t the first, but he was the only one she couldn’t shake when she was done.”

  “After that, I couldn’t stand for a woman to touch me in bed. Couldn’t bear to hear those noises of pleasure. She was like that, very inventive and boisterous during sex. After learning of her many affairs I no longer trusted it. I was very angry for a long time. I used a lot of women, I guess in some misguided attempt to prove my manhood, though I didn’t see it that way.”

  Now it all made sense. Poor Jonas, to be taken advantage of like that. For a man like him it must’ve been a hard blow. “Are you over it now, what she did to you?”

  “No, I’ll never be over it, never get over the loss of my son. But I’ve learned to heal and to live with what is. I don’t want to treat you the way I have been anymore. Like a stranger looking into my life from the outside. It’s not fair and I can understand why you thought you had to run away from me, but I meant what I said. You ever pull another stunt like that you won’t like the consequences.”

  “Are you only saying these things because of the baby?” He held me at arm’s length and looked into my face. “No, I’m saying these things because I love you more than anyone or anything. Because I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” He pulled me into his arms and we shared our first real hug. It was all that I imagined and more.

  “I was so scared when you were gone baby. I wanted to come after you immediately but I had to wait for the guy following you to get back to me with your location. It was seven kinds of hell just sitting around twiddling my thumbs not knowing. I never want to go through that again. And since I can’t seem to keep ahold of you any other way, I guess I’m gonna have to marry you.”

  He released me long enough to reach for the jacket he’d thrown over the chair and took a little velvet box from the pocket. “Give me your hand.” It trembled uncontrollably until he took it in his and placed the most beautiful ring ever made on my finger.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “Don’t cry. I can’t bear to see you cry.” He kissed my tears away and pulled me back in for another one of his perfect hugs.

  “I’m sorry, I’m just so happy.”

  “Let’s hope you stay that way. Now Miss. soon to be Mrs. Harp let’s go look at your house.”

  Epilogue

  ***

  I knew exactly where to find him when I rolled over in bed and he wasn’t there. My body was finally getting back to normal after giving birth six weeks ago, and I was ready for my husband’s special brand of loving. It has been way too long.

  I’ve never been this happy in my life. Not since the day Jonas and I stood in front of two hundred people and pledged our love for each other for all eternity.

  After he’d bared his soul and let me in, things seemed to go full speed ahead. He was like a whole new person. I saw a different side of him. A side that made me wo
nder how he’d ever kept that part of him hidden.

  We moved into our new home together and he’d put the house he’d shared with Cynthia and their son on the market. I’d learned then that he’d never stayed there after burying his son, too many memories.

  We’d gone to put flowers on their graves, after I’d convinced Jonas that it was time he forgave his wife. She’d decided to change after all, had probably seen the error of her ways. And after meeting some of the women from the country club I could see how she’d buckled under the pressure.

  Of course Jonas had forbidden me to even step foot in the club or to have anything to do with those women and their ilk, which was fine by me. They weren’t my kind of people anyway.

  I slipped out of bed and shrugged into the robe I’d placed in the chair next to it. I walked the few steps to the adjoining door and peeked in. There they were, father and daughter in the moonlight.

  The baby was asleep and probably had been when he took her out of the crib, but that wouldn’t stop him. Every night as soon as I fell asleep he’d sneak in here for some quality time with his daughter.

  He didn’t know that I knew because I usually left them alone, but tonight I needed him. It had been too long since I’d felt his weight pressing me down into the king sized mattress that might as well had been a twin for all the room we gave each other while we slept.

  I’ve never been out of his arms at night since the night we moved in here. He held me as if he were afraid he’d awake to find me gone.

  “I know you’re there.” He turned from the window and looked at me before walking to the crib to put our little darling back to bed. I walked over and stood next to him. His arms came around me and we stood together looking down at his mirror image.

  “She’s so perfect baby, thank you.” He always says the same thing. “Thank you, she is. Come to bed.” He lifted his brow and I took his hand and led him from the room.

  “Are you safe?”

  “Clean bill of health, the doctor cleared me today.” I grinned with delight when I found myself going airborne to land over his shoulder. He hurried us to the bed and came down on top of me.

  “We’d better hurry, the little princess will be up soon for her nightly feeding.”

  He tore the silk gown from my body and I was halfway to a climax already just from the anticipation. He palmed my breasts and fed on them hungrily, going from one to the other as he pushed his hardening cock into my growing heat. It had been too long since I’d seen him lose control like this.

  “I missed this, missed having you inside me, hurry.” I reached down between our bodies and took his throbbing cock in my hand, stroking until pre-cum covered my hand. I licked my fingers seductively and went back for more before trying to stuff him me myself.

  “Oh no sweetheart. I promised myself that I would be a gentleman this first time. I don’t want to hurt you.” Not that again. I was beginning to think having your husband in the delivery room was not such a good idea.

  He’d been a nervous wreck the whole time. Barking orders at the hospital staff and threatening anyone he thought wasn’t moving fast enough. It was a wonder they didn’t throw him out on his ear.

  There was no calming him down. No reasoning with him. Then the baby came and he was as gentle as a lamb.

  “But I don’t want you to be a gentleman, I want my wild man back.”

  “Thalia…” He tried pulling out of my hand but I held firm. I bit his nipple as my hand moved up and down his growing shaft. I rubbed the swollen head of his cock up and down my wet slit and he groaned. “Baby, butterfly…” Nothing he said could sway me from my course.

  I used my newest trick, the one I knew would work. “I hurt.” He knew what that meant and the light in his eyes came on.

  Now the lamb was a wild beast as he tore at the shreds of my gown. His lips found my nipple again, harder this time and I felt the sweet tightening begin deep inside. “Oh sweet mercy.” I held his head in place as he drew my milk into his mouth while his hand went between my thighs. He knew just where to touch me, that spot deep inside that sent shockwaves through me and turned me into a mindless wanton just here for his pleasure.

  “Oh yes right there.” He teased me with his fingers as his mouth pulled harder on my nipple, sucking the milk from my over full tit. I guided his head from one nipple to the other, because although our daughter will be up in about an hour looking to be fed. She never took enough and I was always left hurting.

  That’s until I found a way to get rid of the excess. His fingers went deeper before he pulled them out of me and let my nipple drop from his mouth, making his way down my body until he laid between my legs.

  I felt his tongue light as a feather touch me before he pulled me onto his mouth and feasted. I grabbed his head in both hands and rode his tongue to climax until I had to bite into my hand so as not to wake the baby with my wild screams. “So long, so long.” He hadn’t touched me like this since the night I went into labor. That night had started pretty much like this I remember.

  He’d been making sweet love to me while I laid on my side with him stroking into me from behind. That night my body had been needy and I’d badgered him into taking me even though I was two weeks away from giving birth, or so I thought.

  He’d been sliding in and out of me more forcefully with each thrust, his hand over the hard mound of my stomach where the baby had been kicking up a storm. He’d switched up on one of his strokes and that’s all it had taken for my water to break.

  Poor, always in control Jonas had lost his mind, believing that it was his fault that he’d gone too deep and broken my water. There was no explaining to him that he wasn’t at fault and that added to the trauma of seeing his wife give birth had made him more insane than he already was.

  After everything his wife had put him through, I’d gone out of my way to make him feel secure in my love for him. He tried really hard not to bring what she had done to him into our relationship, but I knew it was hard for him to trust. He still went lethally cold whenever anything male got too close, but with time he’d learned to conquer his impulse to break their faces in.

  That didn’t keep him from being over protective and with the baby growing inside me he’d become even more of a pain. I wasn’t allowed to do more than sit in the garden and read. I’d had to fight to keep my job and had it not been for Rachel I would’ve lost that battle as well.

  Far from being my nemesis, his niece had turned out to be a very good friend. She was eighteen going on eighty and a font of information. She was the only one who could calm her uncle’s fears about the baby and he had plenty. He read everything he could get his hands on and instead of helping they only seemed to make him more paranoid.

  The man watched everything I did, ate, wore; he even monitored how much sleep I got. In the end I’d begged for leave, but by then he’d figured out that it was easier for him to keep me working where he could keep his eagle eye on me all day.

  But now there was nothing standing in the way of me getting some good loving, and when he rose up over me and slid into me, I knew just how to shake that control of his. I clenched down around him and whispered in his ear. “Harder Jonas, do me harder.” I ran my nails down his back until they reached his ass where I dug them in as I lifted my legs higher around his waist.

  “Yes, you’re so deep, I feel so full.” I moved wilder beneath him, destroying the last of his control.

  “You’re being a very bad girl.” Being a good girl didn’t get me what I wanted, and after weeks of no Jonas I was in need. I licked across his bottom lip and bit him before forcing my tongue past his lips.

  We devoured each other’s mouths as we moved together in perfect synch. And then he started to panic, but I was ready for him.

  “Suck my nipples baby they hurt.” I used my best little girl hurt voice as I lifted both tits in my hands like an offering.

  “Dammit Thalia, I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t now fuck you
r wife like you mean it.” He bit into my nipple as he pulled his cock almost all the way out, before sliding back in hard. Some of my milk escaped the corner of his mouth and he made hungry noises as he nursed on my nipple and fucked me so hard the bed shook.

  His hands grabbed my ass, which was a little more than it had been a year ago, but he seemed to like it, if the way he was always rubbing against it when I walk around the house was any indication.

  Now he used handfuls of my flesh to pull me closer. “You feel so good butterfly, so hot and tight.” I laughed at the note of surprise in his voice.

  “What did you expect? That after the baby I wouldn’t be tight any longer? I’m going to be tight for a long-long time. I found another use for your little torture beads.” I licked his ear and gave him a demonstration.

  Every once in a while he loses his mind and doles out punishment for some imagined infraction and those damn beads are still his weapon of choice. Though now I’m not sure which is worse, the beads or the spankings which leave me unable to sit for at least a day.

  His grunt of pleasure was all I needed to know that my little exercises were working. I loved it when he grabbed a fistful of my hair and dragged my head back so he could fuck my mouth with his tongue as he likes to put it.

  ***

  JONAS

  ***

  There’s no feeling like being buried inside my wife. It had been weeks since I’ve been able to do this, to be this close. Holding her at night was torture. I’d lie awake hard as a pike, long after I’d brought our daughter in to her for her late night feeding and taken her back to her crib.

  I’d read up on the changes that her body might go through during and after pregnancy and I was going to make sure that I did everything I had to-to take care of her. But as usual, she wasn’t cooperating. I held still as she worked her muscles around me. “Baby you gotta stop.”