Kiss Me When the Sun Goes Down

by Lisa Olsen

  I heard them all murmuring, wondering why he’d been killed. It sounded like it was well known that he’d been shot with silver nitrate, and I supposed I had Kane to thank for that. But I hadn’t told him to keep it a secret, so I didn’t want to throttle him too badly for it. Nobody seemed to link his death to a plot against me though, at least nobody who spoke within my earshot. It still hurt that Nell hadn’t called back or even acknowledged that she’d heard about Lee’s death. But they were traveling the world, maybe they were in a remote spot without cell reception?

  There was no gravesite or marker for Gunnar. I still had his ashes at home in an urn, and I was torn between sending them back to his homeland and keeping him there with me. Or maybe spreading his ashes in the garden, where he’d found so much happiness.

  We must’ve had every security guard in the county staked out around the cemetery, and still Bishop looked as nervous as a redshirt on a landing party. He never left my side, not even when I stepped up to toss a handful of flowers atop Lee’s casket as they lowered him into the ground. I considered tossing in the lighter I’d given him for Christmas, but at the last second I decided to keep it in my pocket. A reminder of that night, and the bond we shared.

  There was no sign of any trouble though. I was aware of a large number of shifters sticking to the outskirts to pay their respects. I didn’t recognize most of them, but Kane gave me a solemn nod, which I returned.

  An enormous man stood next to him, taller than Jakob and broader than a pro wrestler. His hair hung in thick, dark, locks, spilling over his shoulders and down his back, like a barbarian. Everything about him was big and beefy, from his bushy black brows to his beard; his thighs stretched the dark workpants, and his pecs bulged, bare under the muscle shirt he wore. Despite the casual attire, there was an air of confidence around him, an aura of power worn with easy grace. This guy was the Alpha, I was sure of it.

  “Who is that, do you know?” I whispered to Bishop, when the guy started walking toward us, the rest of his pack following at a respectful distance.

  “That’s Rafe, Alpha of the local pack. Be polite, but remember, you rank higher than he does.”

  “Isn’t that like comparing apples to oranges? He’s the boss of his people and I’m the boss of mine. Aren’t we equals?”

  “Don’t ever let any of the council ever hear you say that,” Bishop muttered, and then went silent as the Alpha approached.

  “Peace to the Elder of the West,” he said with a nod of respect.

  I didn’t know the proper response, but I found myself replying, “And also to you.” He seemed to accept that reply as suitable enough, so I added. “Please, call me Anja.”

  “And I’m Rafe.” So far so good, we were being polite to each other. Until he said, “We’re here for the pup.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “The boy.”

  I looked around, but there were no kids anywhere in the cemetery. Tucker had gone very still, his shoulders hunched over like they’d been when I first found him at the Vetis house. “You can’t mean Tucker, can you? He’s not a boy, he’s a man.”

  “Not in the eyes of the pack.”

  “Well, no offense, but nobody asked you.”

  “This is pack business.” The alpha bristled, his shoulders swelling larger, and I felt Bishop stiffen by my side. I laid a hand on Bishop’s arm; the last thing we needed was to turn this into some kind of a vampire/shifter war right on Lee’s grave.

  Standing my ground, I met his dark gaze evenly, despite the fact that we were outnumbered. “No, it isn’t, not when you’re talking about part of my family.”

  He ignored me, turning his gaze to Tucker. “Have you gone through the rites to manhood?”

  Tucker shook his head, the hair falling heavily into his eyes.

  “He’s a boy in our eyes then,” he nodded, as if he’d won the point. “We thank you for your care, but if you’ll release him to us, we’ll be on our way.”

  He kept saying we, and I couldn’t tell if it was like a pack thing, or if he meant the royal we. I hoped not, that would be pretty douchey. “Okay, well since he’s not anyone’s property, it’s not up to me to release him to you, or for you to claim him like a lost puppy. Tucker, do you want to go with them?” The young shifter had gone completely still, he didn’t so much as look up at me. “Tucker?”

  After a long pause, he shook his head again. “My place is with M-M-Maggie.”

  I held my breath, waiting to see how the Alpha would take it. I was fairly certain we were faster than the shifters were, those damn claws scared the bejeezus out of me though. We had our security guys on the scene, but considering that at least half of them were shifters, I was pretty sure their loyalty to the pack was deeper than to a paycheck. Carter and Bishop stood equally tense, and Maggie’s eyes had gone wide and scared. Tucker’s gaze was still glued to his shoes.

  “I see,” Rafe growled, his features schooled into stern disapproval, but then he gave a curt nod. “You know where we are, boy, should you decide to take your place in the pack. Our condolences for your loss. Lee was well respected by all.”

  Swallowing back the wave of relief that he wasn’t going to try and take Tucker by force, I drummed up a faint smile. “Thank you, and thank you for coming. I know it would’ve meant a lot to him.”

  They left then, Kane lingering to exchange a few words. “Jesus, you just don’t give a fuck, do you?” he said with a shake of the head, but a smile hovered around the edges of his mouth. “I like that about you. Ain’t many that will refuse a pack order.”

  “I give plenty of fucks, I just stand up for the people who are important to me. Besides, he’s not the boss of me.”

  “Well, he is my boss, so I’d better split.” Kane offered me a half salute as he turned to follow his Alpha. Nobody relaxed until they were off the greenspace, well into the parking lot.

  “Thank you,” Tucker said quietly.

  “It’s not a big deal,” I smiled brighter now. “But I hope you know that you can always go to them if you want to explore that part of your heritage. I know it must be hard for you not to belong to a pack.”

  His head canted to one side, the corner of his mouth tugging up. “Sure I do, it’s just not a pack of shifters.”

  I pulled him to me in an impulsive hug, drawing Maggie into it too. Bishop and Carter stood around uncomfortably, probably worried they’d be drafted into a group hug as well. When Bishop’s phone rang, I thought he was going to whoop for joy. His relief was short lived though.

  “What’s up? You don’t have to go in to work after all, do you?”

  “No, that was a contact of mine from the fire department. The fire at your parents place was definitely set on purpose. Right now they’re assuming some kind of insurance fraud, especially with your folks missing.”

  “Cripes. How are we going to fix this one?”

  “I’m not sure we can without a lot of interference. It’s not as simple as compelling even a few people. Reports have been made and submitted, there’s an ongoing investigation. If it threatened to expose vampires to humans, I could put a unit on it to scrub the files, but I can’t use my position for something like this.”

  “Even if it was probably started by a vampire in the first place?”

  “We don’t have any evidence to support that.” Bishop scratched at the side of his beard. “They’re already riding me pretty hard about my interest being divided since we started dating, I can’t hand them this kind of ammunition against me.”

  That didn’t sound so good. “I’ll tell you what evidence we do have, and it’s that this isn’t over. “We have to do something to keep everyone safe. Maggie? Tucker?” I waved them over. “I need you two to do me a big favor.”

  “Anything, Anja,” Maggie immediately volunteered. “You have only to ask.”

  I loved her for being so quick to offer, and that made it extra hard to say what I had to say. “I need you to leave. Stop at home to grab a few things, bu
t I need you to get out of town tonight.”

  “Surely not,” she started to protest, but I cut her off.

  “I’m serious. This thing isn’t over. They’re definitely still gunning for my loved ones, and that includes the pair of you.”

  “We’re not afraid.” Tucker’s chin came up with determination, no trace of a stutter in his speech.

  “I didn’t say you were, but if you want to ease my mind, you’ll disappear for a while. If you want to go with the pack, that’d be fine too. They can probably protect you better than I can right now.”

  “No, they’re not my pack,” Tucker insisted.

  A deep furrow appeared on Maggie’s brow. “But where shall we go?”

  “I know,” I snapped my fingers as it came to me. “Why don’t you take Gunnar’s ashes back to his homeland for starters? From there, it’s anywhere you feel like going. Travel for a while, see the world.”

  “I can hardly abandon my post.”

  “And I have my job with the security company. I can’t leave y-you in the lurch now that Lee’s gone,” Tucker added.

  “I don’t give a good gorram about the job, this is about protecting my loved ones. Felix can manage, he’s done it before. And don’t you worry about the company, Tucker. I’m sure Kane can handle it on his own.”

  “Anja, are you quite sure about this?” Maggie still looked unconvinced, and I nodded.

  “I think it’s for the best right now. I can arrange for protection if you like.”

  “I can keep her safe,” Tucker declared, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I don’t n-need the pack or any other protection.”

  Maggie gave him an utterly besotted smile. “We’ll go to Denmark, and then anywhere but England. It can be an engagement trip.”

  I thanked my lucky stars that they were being so gracious about it. “Thanks for understanding, guys.” I hugged them tight, not knowing how long it’d be before we saw each other again. “Call me to let me know when you’ve arrived safely, but after that, it’s probably for the best if you don’t contact me for a while.”

  “I can give you an untraceable number so you can stay in contact,” Carter piped up, and I turned to him in surprise.

  “You can do that?”

  “I’m not just a pretty face,” he deadpanned.

  “You’re better than that,” I grinned, kissing him noisily on the cheek, which he wiped off with a grimace. We all traded a laugh as Maggie and Tucker walked off to the parking lot. My smile faded when I caught sight of Bishop’s face though. I hadn’t thought twice about the innocent kiss, I loved Carter like a brother, but I knew I probably wouldn’t like Bishop kissing anyone but me either.

  “I need to go speak to someone,” he said, jogging away to talk to one of the security guys.

  “Uh oh, somebody’s jealous,” Carter smirked.

  “Be nice, he can’t help it, it’s just the way he’s wired.” To his credit, Bishop hadn’t said anything or gotten in Carter’s face about it.

  “It’s cool, I’d be jealous if you were my woman too. You can tell him to rest easy though, I’m not the type to steal another man’s girl.”

  “And I’m not the type to make a man jealous on purpose. I’ll try to keep my lips to myself next time.”

  Carter mumbled something I didn’t quite catch, but when I asked him to repeat it, he shook his head. “You gonna send me away next?”

  “Would you go if I did?”

  “No.” His hands came up in defense. “And don’t even think about compelling me. I’d find a way.”

  “I think you probably would.”

  “I have a few things to check out tonight though. You okay here with Dumbo?” He looked to Bishop, who stood chatting with my new security chief, who’d vetoed my suggestion of red tshirts.

  “Sure, I’ll be fine.”

  “Right then, I’ll see you on the flip side, sunshine.”

  “Stay frosty,” I fired back at him, smiling until his back was turned. Then, standing alone by the gravesite (as alone as I could be with the security team keeping a respectful distance), my gaze turned to the freshly churned earth. “Goodbye, Lee. I love you. I know you know that, but I wanted to say it one last time. I’m sorry you didn’t get to know your kids growing up, because you would’ve made one heck of a father. I wish… I wish a lot of things,” I muttered. “It’s probably for the best to stay away from wishes all together, because no matter what, you’re not coming back. I know you’d be the first one to tell me it wasn’t my fault, or that you’ve lived a long full life, and maybe it was your time, but we both know it wasn’t. I promise you, we’ll find whoever did this and we’ll make them pay. I swear it.” I bit into my wrist, tears mingling with the drops of blood that sank into the soil along with my pledge.

  “What are you doing?” Bishop asked softly, coming to stand behind me.

  “Saying goodbye.”

  “With blood?”

  “It seemed fitting at the time,” I sniffed, wiping discreetly at the tears before anyone around could notice.

  “Are you okay?”

  “No, but thank you for asking.”

  His arms wrapped around me, holding me close as we stood by the grave, until he decided it was too risky to linger. “We shouldn’t stay out here in the open.”

  “I know,” I sighed, taking a last look around. “It’s a good resting place, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, I think so.” He kissed me on the side of my head, his hand going to the small of my back as he released me. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

  “I don’t want to go home,” I decided suddenly. “It’s so empty, I don’t think I could take the silence.”

  “Where do you want to go? Anywhere you want.”

  “Just drive for a while, okay?”

  “I can do that.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  I sank into a deep silence as the city streets gave way to the long, winding stretches down the California coast. Bishop didn’t try to cheer me out of my mood or fill up the space with chatter, and I appreciated it. My eyes were on the moonlight glinting off the water, but my mind was a million miles away.

  I knew on some level that I’d outlive some of my friends, being immortal will do that to you. But I had no idea I’d be saying goodbye so soon. Or so abruptly. “Does it ever get easier?” I finally asked, when my brain felt full to bursting.

  “What?”

  “Saying goodbye to people you love.”

  “I don’t know that it’s ever easier to lose people you care about. I’ve said a lot of goodbyes over the years and I wouldn’t say it’s bothered me any less, but it’s been a long time since any of them mattered. That part gets easier the more years go by, not letting yourself get too attached to anyone.”

  “That’s so sad. What’s the point in living this long if you don’t surround yourself with people you care about?”

  “Up until a year ago I might’ve argued the point that it didn’t much matter,” he replied, darting over a quick smile, but I couldn’t return it. It was as if the cold outside had infiltrated my heart, making everything washed out and bland. I couldn’t even enjoy the pretty sight of the moon over the water. I missed the sparkle of sunlight that turned the ocean from dark and foreboding to glistening and full of life.

  “I feel like everything’s gray. Gray and dark and dreary, and the colors have all melted away,” I mused aloud with a long, drawn out sigh. “Is this what it’s always going to be like? Always in the shadows, always in the dark.”

  “There’s beauty in the darkness if you know where to look for it.”

  “I just want something… effulgent,” I said finally, feeling a new kinship with Spike over the simple perfection of that word.

  “Effulgent,” Bishop repeated with a slow nod. “I think I can manage that.” Bringing the car into a sharp u-turn, he didn’t say more.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Back to the city. I think that’s enough running away for
now.”

  I sunk lower in the chair, a scowl twisting my lips. “I’m not running away, I’m not even running. I’m just… nothing right now.”

  Bishop didn’t push, but neither did he stop driving back to San Francisco. I watched the scenery go by with mild curiosity, figuring I could always stay in the car if I didn’t like where we ended up. You could’ve knocked me over with a feather when he pulled up in front of an ornate old church in the heart of the city.

  “Come on,” he urged, pulling open the passenger’s side door when I didn’t move a muscle.

  “Why?”

  “You need to see something.”

  I dipped my head to take another dubious look at the church. It wasn’t that late yet, and there were still lights on inside. “I’m not all that religious.”

  That didn’t stop him from waggling his fingers at me to take them. “Yes, you are. Just not about this stuff.”

  “Then why are we here?”

  “I told you, you need to see something.”

  “Ugh, fine.” I took his hand and climbed out of the car, trudging up the stone steps that led to the huge double doors. There were a few people inside, mostly sitting in the pews in the first two rows, and an older lady puttering around watering plants near the rear. “It’s a really nice church,” I whispered. “But… what am I looking at?”

  “You’ll see.” Bishop practically dragged me to a door behind the standing letter board announcing the service hours. Once inside, he hustled me up a steep flight of stairs to the balcony, which looked like it hadn’t been used in years.

  “Are we even supposed to be up here?”

  “Nope. But this isn’t where we’re going.” Letting go of my hand, he stood on the balcony railing and leapt up to the thick rafters overhead. I stood there gaping at him when he waved me up to follow. “Jump up to me,” he called down in a stage whisper.

  “Are you nuts? I can’t jump that high.”

  “You’re only saying that because you haven’t done it before. Just try it.” He waved his hand impatiently. “Don’t worry, I’ll catch you if you lose your balance when you get up here.”