The Haunting of Mount Cod

by Nicky Stratton

  The Canon remained silent as he swatted away a fly buzzing above his head, and then he said, ‘Did you think it could have been me?’

  ‘You were on my list, yes. But then so was Repton himself. Actually, he could theoretically still be in the frame.’

  ‘You’re not serious are you?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ It was as if they had turned a corner and now Canon Frank was on her side. A gentle gust of wind shook the climbing rose above them and a flurry of petals landed on the ground. Laura told him about her other suspects.

  ‘But I still think Cheryl and Lance have the best motive and the wherewithal to play at haunting.’

  ‘So what will you do?’

  Laura heard the sound of whistling coming from a neighbouring garden and Parker growled beside her. ‘It’s more of a case of what you can do,’ she said. ‘I was going to send my friend Jervis, but now I think it would be better if you went.’

  ‘Went where?’

  ‘To see Inspector Sandfield. It could also help your case.’

  Canon Frank’s pale cheeks coloured. Laura went on to tell him about Kelsey’s boyfriend seeing Cheryl wearing a large diamond ring and of her finding the Pucci dress in the lodge.

  ‘I wouldn’t think Lady Willowby was the kind of person to lend her clothing out to her employees,’ Canon Frank said. ‘But you say Sir Repton had no knowledge of the ring?’

  ‘He couldn’t remember.’

  ‘All the same, I agree this sounds like a matter for Inspector Sandfield.’

  ‘Excellent,’ Laura said. ‘I feel we have achieved a lot this afternoon.’

  Chapter thirty-five

  First thing the next morning, Laura went down to the kitchens.

  ‘Look Andwele,’ she said, holding up the marriage certificate.

  Andwele put down the knife beside the bunch of mint he was chopping and took the piece of paper. Tears began rolling down his cheeks. He clasped her to him. ‘Boxford, this is indeed too much good.’

  How had it happened that this new husband used the same nomenclature as her late departed fiancé, the Brigadier?

  ‘But I stay here in Wellworth Lawns,’ he continued. ‘Alfredo, he is my friend and I am teaching him many of my country’s favourite dishes.’

  Laura realised she was going to have to tell either Vince or Edward Parrott about her marriage to Andwele or he would lose his job. But then she had a better idea. She had seen Bernard, Vince’s accountant at Ascot. He would understand the delicacy of the situation. She called him in the office in Leeds.

  ‘Don’t you worry Laura,’ he said. ‘Your matrimonial arrangements are nobody’s business but your own. I’ll simply tell Parrott that Mr Akadigbo’s papers are in order and that’ll be an end to it. Between you and I how are things going at Wellworth Lawns?’

  Laura told him about the continuing short supply of food and Edward Parrott’s obsession with cleanliness.

  ‘This situation can’t go on,’ Bernard said.’ I’ve just had another invoice for wall-mounted hand sanitisers. Sixty-five of them.’

  ‘I’m not going to Mount Cod with that murderer, and I don’t trust Gladys’ cooking,’ Venetia said, as Laura walked her down the stairs for lunch. The problem of the lift being permanently out of order was now beyond a joke. Some of the residents had been stuck in their rooms for weeks. Mimi was fraught with having to bring up trays to the inhabitants of the second floor who had set up their own dining club on the landing. Sometimes, Venetia said she had joined them, as the stairs to the second floor were carpeted and not nearly as hazardous as the ones to the ground floor. There was also a fire door leading onto a small balcony up there that they wedged open and sat round on sunny evenings playing Happy Families.

  ‘But I’m pretty sure Repton’s not a murderer,’ Laura said. ‘I’ve told you before, it’s that couple who looked after him. Inspector Sandfield will have to investigate after the Canon’s spoken with him.’

  As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Venetia felt safe enough to let go of Laura’s arm and they walked side by side into the dining room and chose a table near the window.

  ‘Talking of the police,’ Venetia said, tucking her napkin into the collar of her shirt. ‘Angel came to see me. She’s out you know and she’s found a donkey in a field somewhere that she wants to transport to Devon as all the local sanctuaries are full. I suggested she ride it there. She’s lost a bit of weight while she’s been in prison.’

  Mimi placed their starters in front of them.

  ‘What’s this?’ Venetia asked.

  ‘Is Andy chickpea mealie. Alfredo leaving him in charge.’

  ‘Who’s Andy?’ Venetia asked, as she popped the fritter into her mouth.

  ‘He Ladyship’s…’

  Laura coughed.

  ‘He is Alfredo’s new assistant,’ Mimi said.

  ‘Well, tell Andy I’d like some more.’

  ‘I so sorry Mrs Hobb. Mr. Parrott he still keeping tight eye on portion control and now he say vegetarian is best for health. He saying no vegetarian ever die of nasty diseases.’ Mimi leant forward and whispered to them. ‘I tell you he going way crazy with the hand washing and all that. Alfredo say his OCD headcase is danger to us and he need to see psychiatrist pronto.’ Mimi nodded her head conspiratorially and went back to the kitchen.

  ‘I’ll have to talk to Vince,’ Laura said. ‘It’s just that there are so many other things to do right now.’

  ‘Like what? All I’ve got to do is try not to forget it’s the last episode of Benefits Britain and I want to find out what happens to the man who says he can’t feed his twenty-six children. It’s truly shocking in this day and age.’

  ‘Children, that reminds me, Repton’s lunch party is to celebrate his child.’

  ‘Are you deliberately trying to confuse me now?’

  ‘It’s been proved that Ned Stocking is Repton’s son.’

  ‘I don’t think Angel will be best pleased if she gets to hear about that. She’s got some very detailed plans for converting Mount Cod into a cat refuge and feline veterinary centre.’

  Mimi reappeared with the main course. ‘Is aubergine and rice sausage,’ she said.

  Laura picked up her fork. ‘How delightfully authentic.’

  ‘But so little of it,’ Venetia said. ‘Thank goodness my Tesco biscuits are being delivered.’

  ‘How have you managed that?’ Laura asked.

  ‘The second floor residents have formed an association. Reggie Hawkesmore says it reminds him of being back in the POW camp. One of his female friends orders for us online.’

  Later in the afternoon, Laura returned from Dudley’s Hair Designs. She walked into the hall pulling Parker behind her; he had become a rather reluctant companion recently and had been loath to leave the greyhound’s basket at the hairdresser’s. As she passed the reception desk Mimi called out to her.

  ‘Ladyship, I having urgent message for you.’

  ‘Goodness Mimi, what’s happened?’

  ‘Is Mrs Free. She coming back this morning. Now she calling me and asking where you are, because you not answering your phone. She say me when Ladyship coming she want see you soon as possible.’

  ‘I’d better go and see what the matter is.’

  Parker stood with his feet firmly planted at the foot of the stairs and refused to budge. Becoming exasperated, Laura picked him up and carried him until they got to the carpet on the first floor. They walked down the passage and knocked on Gladys’ door.

  The door inched open and Gladys poked her nose out.

  ‘Thank goodness you’ve come, where have you been?’ she said, opening the door wide enough for Laura and Parker to pass through. Then she closed it hastily behind them and made a rush for her bed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘But it’s the only place I feel safe.’

  ‘Whatever is the matter?’ Laura asked, taking a chair.

  ‘It happened last night.’ Gladys clutched the bedclothes.

  ‘What happened?’r />
  ‘I was in bed in Grimsby. Something woke me. The door creaking I think. I called out, “Repton, is that you?” But he didn’t answer. It was pitch dark. I tried to find the bedside light switch. I could hear his breath. It was coming closer. I fumbled trying to find my glasses and then I heard them drop onto the floor. I called out again.’

  ‘What did you call out?’

  ‘I called his name. But he didn’t answer and I could feel the breathing coming closer. It was hot. Close by. And then I could feel his hand on the bedclothes and then. And then…’ Gladys sobbed.

  ‘And then what?’

  ‘He felt my breast!’

  ‘But Gladys,’ Laura, who had been sitting on the edge of her seat, relaxed back into the chair. ‘This sounds to me exactly the result you had been looking for. I can’t see what the problem is.’

  ‘No Laura. You’ve got it all wrong.’

  ‘But what about your sexual awakening. I thought you said you wanted to get in as much as possible before it was too late.’

  ‘But that was before.’

  ‘Before what?’

  ‘Before Repton. He was so much the gentleman. I could understand him wanting to wait until after we were married.’

  ‘Has he asked you to marry him?’

  ‘Not exactly.’

  ‘What do you mean, not exactly?’

  ‘Well, not in so many words. But I thought that he was leaving it until he thought a suitable amount of time had passed since his wife died. I was happy to wait. But then this happened. Honestly Laura I was in fear of my womanhood.’

  ‘Good heavens Gladys, what did you do?’

  ‘I screamed. It made him press harder on my bosom. And then his hand moved up… I felt it closing on my neck. I was petrified.’

  Laura gasped.

  Gladys fanned her face with her hand.

  ‘So then what happened?’

  ‘I found the lamp. I picked it up and hit him. It was made of brass.’

  ‘What did he do?’

  ‘Let go of my neck. Swore F.U.C.K, and ran out.’

  ‘F.U.C.K?’

  ‘You know what I mean. I don’t like to swear.’

  ‘So then what did you do?’

  ‘What do you think I did? It was three in the morning. I didn’t have much choice in the matter. But I did get up and put a chair in front of the door. I had to edge my way to the main light switch as the lamp had broken. Then I opened the curtains and waited until morning.’

  ‘So did you see him then?’

  ‘Yes, I was in the kitchen with my case ringing for a taxi. He came in all bright and cheery; said he’d never slept so well on account of taking a sleeping pill.’

  ‘You mean he denied everything.’

  ‘Yes.’

  Had Repton’s manly desires got the better of him after weeks of Gladys’ relentless flirting? ‘He must have been sleepwalking.’

  ‘But Laura, it makes no difference if he was or not. Either way his intentions were… dangerous. Anyway I didn’t exactly feel like discussing his nocturnal habits at that moment. I was just keen to get away from him.’

  Or was he intent upon something more sinister? Laura could feel her thought processes spiralling but it was often this wildness that could precipitate a breakthrough. Had Gladys’ takeover bid reminded him of Matilda’s overbearing character? That same intolerance in his flawed character that had driven him to murder her. ‘What did you say?’ she asked.

  ‘I told him while he’d been so heavily asleep the telephone had rung for me and that an old friend from the Hydrangea Society had had a heart attack and that I must go to her.’

  Laura knew how heavily she relied on Strudel and Jervis and she knew she must tell them this latest news at the first opportunity. Gladys was reluctant to come with her so she and Parker hurried over to Mulberry Close alone.

  They were in the kitchen bottling cabbage. ‘What are we going to do about the lunch party?’ Strudel asked. ‘I cannot see Gladys being in attendance and who will do the cooking now?’ She handed the jar to Jervis to screw the lid on and took off her apron.

  ‘You’ll have to do it my love, we’ve got enough sauerkraut here to feed an army,’ Jervis said. ‘But in all of this it doesn’t seem to have occurred to you Laura, that Sir Repton may be perfectly innocent. I mean what possible motive could he have for attacking Gladys?’

  ‘Psychopathic tendencies; you ask Venetia. I should have listened to her all along. And anyway who else could it have been?’

  ‘I’d have thought that was perfectly obvious.’ Jervis opened the cupboard and put the jar on the shelf with all the others. ‘The ghost of course.’

  ‘But Cheryl’s in custody.’

  ‘You don’t get it do you?’

  ‘Jervis, you must not be speaking to our friend in this most brutal tone. It is not her fault that she is not blessed with the kind of mind that is receiving the supernatural vibe.’

  ‘We must put an end to all this,’ Laura said. ‘We’ll have that exorcism after all. I’ll call the Canon. We’ll do it tomorrow afternoon and thinking about it, I’d better tell him to hang fire with his meeting with Inspector Sandfield. Cheryl wasn’t the murderer. Repton was and the minute we’ve finished laying your ghost to rest, I’ll go myself to the Inspector and dob in the wretched old thespian myself.’

  Canon Frank was dismayed by the news of Gladys and more so having recently returned from his interview with Inspector Sandfield who had left immediately to interrogate Cheryl.

  ‘Never mind that,’ Laura said. ‘It will be good practice for him.’

  ‘But Sir Repton?’ Canon Frank was genuinely shocked. ‘Can we be sure? I don’t like the sound of all this.’

  ‘I know,’ Laura realised she must placate him. ‘It is most distressing, but that is why the exorcism is so necessary. Repton must either be implicated or Vindicated. You must tell him the ghost may only be temporarily inactive and we must pretend we have no idea about Gladys.’

  She watched as the Canon nodded his head, deep in thought.

  ‘I think we should prepare ourselves for an overnight visit,’ he said.

  ‘But last time you said the ghost had to be left alone before the exorcism.’

  ‘Different circumstances call for different methodology. It is now well past Sexagesima and her hormonal balance will be affected by the longer evenings.’

  Not for the first time Laura wondered if she shouldn’t have called Reverend Mulcaster instead.

  By the end of the evening Laura had everything in place. Having agreed on the time with Sir Repton, Strudel and Jervis, she checked on Gladys, walked Parker and had supper with Venetia – ‘I told you he was a murderer’ – Laura retired to bed.

  But her mind was still abuzz and she knew she couldn’t sleep so she opened the Brigadier’s 1965 diary. Having taken out her contact lenses, she put on her reading glasses and angled them firmly on her nose. The little satin ribbon marked the last page she had read. And then she remembered Iris. She studied the rest of September but there was no mention of her. Various numbers were jotted down that she assumed were to do with the Buff Orpington’s egg-laying habits. Then the hens went off lay and the Brigadier was taken up with photography. He had taken a picture of a car crash in Orpington High Street that was published in the local newspaper. The driver had walked away but the paintwork on a lamppost had been damaged. The Brigadier was busy with these humdrum goings on and Laura was getting bored. She flicked to late November, scanning the page for Iris’ name. On the twenty-second she saw it:

  ‘Iris left this morning. Bad business.’

  Eyes wide, Laura turned back a page to see if there was a reason for Iris’ disappearance. And then she found it. On the Friday before she read:

  ‘Kadicha turned up. God knows how she found me? Alas the older child has died but the twins are now four years old. Very bonny but a shock all the same.’

  Laura took off her glasses, flung the diary on the floor and turned
out the light.

  For hours it seemed, she lay unable to sleep. It was all very well her engagement to the Brigadier being based on the unspoken principle that the past was the past, but the idea that he had not told her of his offspring was, to put it mildly, not what she was expecting.

  Parker shifted down the bed and snuggled in to her left ankle. She rolled over trying to distance herself from him but he followed her. Eventually she turned on the light and got up. She sat on the sofa thinking. Times were different then. Africa was a wild continent. He was far away from home. But then she remembered the other girls. She hunted round and found the 1961 diary. All that time when she thought he’d had malaria… She found the page. Marjani… Kadicha… Afi… And those were only the ones he mentioned by name. It was too much. How many children had he fathered?

  Chapter thirty-six

  Laura felt as if she had only just got to sleep when the phone woke her at 8.45 and Jervis told her to be downstairs at half past one. She wondered if she was going to make it through the rigors of a full blown exorcism at the hands of Canon Frank Holliday. He had said it could be a lengthy process and he was bound to be thorough.

  By early afternoon, she was feeling a little better and she set out with Parker and her overnight bag.

  ‘There you are Laura,’ Jervis held the car door open for her. ‘You’d better go in the back with Strudel,’ he said. ‘I don’t think the Canon’s knees will fit. Let me put your bag in the boot.’

  Jervis drove down the drive and swung at speed onto the main road.

  To Laura’s relief, he slowed and stopped behind a bus. He waited. Minutes passed.