Incognito

by Siobhan Davis

  “The douche in the picture with her is her new fiancé. The cops have been trying to pin shit on him for a couple years, but he’s smart enough to leave no traceable evidence. He has history with blackmail and extortion. It’s not a huge stretch to think he might have set his sights on you because of the prior connection between you and his girl, and let’s not forget she tried to extort money from you before.”

  “I don’t need to be reminded,” I hiss, getting up and pacing the room. “This shit is putting me in a bad mood.”

  Devin stands up, clamping a hand on my shoulder. “I know this isn’t easy, but it has to be done. Trust me when I tell you I’ll get the guy, but I need your help to do it.”

  Ange pops her head into the room. “I’m just about to serve dinner, and we need to eat before Kendall wakes up from her nap.”

  Devin walks to the door, pressing a kiss to the top of his wife’s head. “We’ll be right with you, hon.”

  He walks back to his desk, closing the file and relocking it in his desk drawer. “There’s a couple more photos in there, but we can go through those after we eat. Come on.” He slaps me on the back. “I hope you’re hungry. Ange is an amazing cook, and she’s gone a bit overboard. I think she has it in her head that you’re not eating properly, and she wants to rectify that.”

  When we enter the dining room, an older couple are already seated at the table, along with a familiar face. “What are you doing here?” I ask my manager as he gets up from the table and comes around to greet me.

  He pulls me into a bear hug. “I wanted to check in in person. To make sure you’re okay.” He clasps my shoulders and gives me the once-over. “You look well. More relaxed.”

  “I’m chill.” I clear my throat, uncomfortable with blatant displays of affection, but I can’t let Luke’s gesture go without saying something. “And thanks for coming, but you didn’t have to. I know you don’t like being separated from your family right now.”

  He smiles, shoulder-checking me. “My mother-in-law is staying with us for the weekend, so it was good to have an excuse to disappear for the day.” He winks, trying to shrug it off, but I know what he’s doing. “And I took the jet, so I’ll be going home tonight, straight after dinner.”

  Ange breaks up our little happy reunion then, declaring dinner is ready, and I take a seat beside Luke at the table. Devin introduces me to Ange’s mom Natalie and her husband Jon. Conversation flows freely around the table, and Ange’s mom politely ask me questions about college. I’m guessing Devin didn’t tell either of them who I really am, and I’m grateful for his discretion. Luke was also introduced as my uncle, and he could barely contain his smile. I think he fancies himself as an undercover agent or a spy or something.

  Devin also wasn’t kidding about Ange’s cooking, and I happily accept seconds, much to her delight.

  Luke and I help Devin clear away the dirty dinner plates while Ange goes to fetch Kendall from her crib. It’s all so normal and it reminds me of everything I’m missing. A pang of sadness sweeps over me as I quietly rinse and stack plates in the dishwasher, trying to work out how many years it’s been since I’ve done anything as domesticated. I’ve been spoiled. Having copious staff members and employees attend to my every need, my every wish, and it’s made me lazy and complacent.

  Luke doesn’t waste the opportunity to tease me about that very fact, and I flip him the bird, while he just smiles.

  Being back here, in a family environment, reminds me of all the ways I’ve changed. And all the things I’ve forgotten. Although it was only Mom and me growing up, she always insisted that we eat dinner together every night, and my gramps always came to Sunday dinner. He passed away the year before I was discovered, and I used to hate that he wasn’t around to see my success. He was always my greatest supporter, always encouraging me to reach for the stars. Lately, I’ve been glad he wasn’t around to witness my self-destruction. He’d have been so disappointed in me.

  Somewhere along the way, I forgot my upbringing, and turned into a pretentious prick.

  Ange comes into the kitchen with baby Kendall in her arms. She’s exercising a fine set of lungs, bawling impressively loudly for someone so small. “Someone’s hungry,” Ange says, laughing softly as she rubs her nose against her daughter’s. “It’s coming, little one.” She grabs a bottle from the refrigerator, and my mouth opens before I’ve had time to even think about what I’m saying.

  “Can I feed her?”

  Devin and Ange share a look of surprise. Luke smiles proudly at me.

  “I used to help Mom feed my brothers when they were babies.” I feel the need to explain. “She had twins, so she needed an extra pair of hands.” Not that I was around much. Luke was acting manager during Mom’s maternity leave—before taking the role on full-time when she later quit—and he’d factored two weeks’ vacation time into my touring schedule so I could go home and help Mom in the weeks after the babies were born. She and Steve, my new stepfather, were completely overwhelmed and grateful for the help.

  I gulp over the unexpected wedge of emotion in my throat. That was one of the last happy times we had together; thinking of it now raises a whole host of feelings to the surface.

  “That would be great. Thank you.” Ange ushers me into the living room, and I get comfy on the couch. Then she places her daughter in my arms, and I start feeding her the bottle.

  Ayden is playing with a Scalextric playset on the floor while Ange’s mom and stepdad are chatting with her as they look out over the landscaped back lawn. Luke is on his cell in the corner of the room, talking in hushed tones. Devin sits down beside me, sipping a water and crossing one leg over his knee.

  “You have a lovely family,” I say, cradling his gorgeous little daughter in my arms. “And I could run away with this little one,” I surprise myself by adding. Might as well go the whole nine yards, considering I seem to have traded my balls for a pussy. “I’m sorry for how I acted that day in your office. I was being a jerk on purpose.”

  He chuckles. “No worries. I might have overreacted myself.” He smirks. “You know, I see a lot of myself in you.” I arch a brow, and he chuckles again. “I lost myself for a while. Spent far too many years drunk and high, hooking up with random chicks from school and thinking I could outrun my problems.” He slants me a knowing look. “But they always catch up to you, and I learned that no one could save me if I didn’t want to save myself.”

  “You think I need to be saved?”

  “Don’t you?”

  Kendall coos in my arms, and I press a kiss to her forehead, closing my eyes and soaking up her soft, newborn smell.

  “Do you want kids?” he asks, tipping the bottle of water into his mouth.

  “Someday, yeah.”

  He nods, smirking. “Maybe there’s hope for you yet.”

  “Do you always insult your clients?” I retort.

  “Only the ones I like.”

  I laugh, and the baby flinches in my arms. “Sorry, princess,” I murmur, kissing her soft cheek.

  “Hey, no falling for my other girl, or I might have to settle this with my fists.”

  “I could totally take you, old man, but I’ve already learned my lesson.” I smirk back at him.

  “Yet you didn’t heed my warning.” I stare at him in confusion. “About Dakota.”

  I purse my lips and glare at him. That’s crossing a line. “You’ve been hired to consult on my safety, not my love life,” I snap.

  “They are not mutually exclusive. Half the names on that list are ex-girlfriends.”

  “Ex-hookups,” I correct him. “I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

  “Well, that’s a damn shame, but I don’t think you should start with Dakota. Not until we’ve cleaned this mess up. You don’t want to drag any girl into this, especially not a girl who has already been through hell.”

  My body locks up.
“What do you mean? And how do you know?”

  Luke looms large over us, temporarily halting the conversation. “I’ve gotta go. Don’t get up,” he says, as I start to straighten up, maneuvering the baby in my arms. “You look way too cute like that.”

  I narrow my eyes and my lips pull tight. A loud chuckle rumbles through him. “Mind yourself, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Thanks for coming, man. Later.”

  After Luke has left the room, I pin Devin with a serious look. “Explain what you meant by that comment about Dakota.”

  He straightens up. “I’m paid to keep you safe. That means I’ve done background checks on everyone you’ve met since you moved to Iowa. Especially Dakota. I’ve seen the pics. I can tell you’re smitten.” There is no teasing in his tone.

  “What do you know about her?”

  He shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. I’m not going to be the one to tell you.”

  Kendall finishes her bottle and dozes in my arms. I put the empty bottle down on the table, while I prop her carefully over my shoulder, gently rubbing her back. “I’m paying you a fucking fortune. If you’ve got information on her, I want it.”

  A muscle ticks in his jaw. “This is me doing my job. Protecting you. You know I want you to stay away from her, at least for the time being, but I’m not that old that I can’t remember what it’s like to be wrapped up in a special girl. If you end up getting closer to her, do you really want her to know that you snooped into her background before she had a chance to tell you yourself?”

  He pauses to let that sink it. I continue rubbing Kendall’s back and she emits a loud burp which makes me proud.

  “It’s bad enough she doesn’t know who you really are,” he quietly adds, and it brings me back to the conversation about the real me Friday night. I’m fairly certain if Dakota knew I was Shawn Lucas she’d run a mile. That thought sticks in my gut.

  “I thought you said to stay away from her.”

  “I did, but I also know you won’t. That you can’t. Even if you should. I’ve been there. It’s not an easy thing to do, even if it’s the right thing to do.”

  Putting his water down, he stands up, gently lifting his daughter into his arms. She nuzzles into his chest, and he cuddles her close. “Just be careful with her, Shawn. She’s been through a lot. And if you can’t treat her right, you have no business going near her at all.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Dakota

  I answer the front door, instantly on guard when I see Muriel standing beside Dr. Nevin. “Dakota.” He smiles, taking my hands in his. “It’s so lovely to see you. I know this is unexpected, but we were both hoping to have a word with you.”

  I glance at the driveway, noticing my father’s car is absent again, and I release the breath I’d been holding. “Of course.” I step aside to let them enter. “Come through to the dining room. Mom is sitting out on the deck, and I want to keep my eyes on her.”

  Once we are all seated, with steaming hot mugs of coffee in hand, Dr. Nevin clears his throat and gets straight to the reason for his visit. “Did your father mention the conversation I had with him a couple of weeks ago?” I shake my head, and he sighs. “I thought not. I’m sorry to burden you with this, but something has to be done, and while I can take the necessary action, it would be much better coming from you.”

  A blanket of trepidation swathes me on all sides. “What exactly are you saying, Doctor?”

  “She’s getting much worse,” Muriel says, confirming something I already know. “She won’t eat for me, and most days she has wet the bed by the time I arrive.”

  “She isn’t capable of looking after herself, Dakota,” the doctor continues, “and her condition is deteriorating. She needs more intense treatment. She needs to be committed to a psychiatric facility, but your father is refusing to petition the court.”

  Of course, he is.

  He doesn’t believe she has serious depression and anxiety.

  And he wouldn’t want any of his clients or his employees to know his wife needs full-time in-patient psychiatric care.

  “She eats for me,” I tell him. “And she hadn’t wet the bed this morning. In fact, she let me bathe and dress her.”

  Muriel pats my arm. “You’re the only one she still responds to, but you can’t be here to care for her twenty-four-seven. You’ve got your own life to lead.”

  A tsunami of guilt crashes into me. I should give up college to come back and care for her, but Dad won’t allow it. Perhaps I can use that as a bargaining tool. Force him into agreeing to get her the help she needs.

  But the thought of Mom in one of those places devastates me. How can I stand by and let that happen? How can I selfishly abandon her when she needs me the most? “I’ll give up college. I’ll come home and take care of her.”

  Dr. Nevin and Muriel exchange a look. The doctor puts his mug down and takes my hands in his. “You are, undoubtedly, one of the most devoted daughters I have ever met, and your mother is so lucky to have you. I understand you don’t want this for her, but, trust me, it’s in your mother’s best interests. Even if you were to return home to care for her, you would only be taking care of her physical needs. She needs professional help to overcome her mental illness.”

  Tears roll down my face as the magnitude of what’s being said hits me square in the chest. “He will never agree,” I admit, sniffling.

  “He doesn’t have to. You’re nineteen years old, an adult in the eyes of the law. You can petition the court too.”

  My tears dry up as his words sink in. I could do this, but at what cost? Dad will disown me if I go behind his back and against his wishes.

  But this isn’t about what he wants. It’s about what’s best for Mom. “I need a little time to think it all through, and I want to speak to my father.” I won’t go behind his back. I’ll try to reason with him, but if he doesn’t agree, then I guess I’m going it alone. Consequences be damned.

  Dad only returns at nine p.m. that night, smelling of expensive whiskey and cheap perfume.

  A new horror assaults my mind. Is he cheating on Mom now? I can’t believe this is the same man I’ve looked up to my entire life. Yes, we had some humdinger arguments because my carefree attitude and dance plans always seemed flighty to him, but he was a good father, a good husband, and he doted on my mother.

  But now he’s a virtual stranger.

  I see none of that man left in him.

  And it’s not enough to say this is grief, because I’m grieving too, but I’m not out there betraying my family. I’m doing everything I can to keep it together.

  I can barely look at him as I open up the conversation we need to have. Perhaps I should’ve waited until tomorrow, until he’s sober, but it’s eating me up inside, and I can’t go a second longer without getting this off my chest.

  He roars at me, screaming and shouting, and I flinch at his angry tone and furious expression. “Your mother does not need to be committed!” he yells. “She just needs a good kick in the butt to come to her senses. She isn’t the only one who lost a daughter, and you don’t see me moping around in bed!”

  “Daddy, please. These people can help her get better. She can’t stay like this.”

  “I’m fixing this right now,” he barks, racing out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

  “Leave her alone!” I screech, dashing after him, panic constricting my lungs.

  I run into her room, appalled to see my father yanking my mother out of bed. She had been fast asleep when I last checked on her a half hour ago.

  I grab my father’s arm. “Let her go, Dad. This isn’t helping.” I try to pull him back, so I can get to her, but he tightens his grip on her shoulders and jostles me aside.

  “This damn charade ends here.” He puts his face in hers. “Do you hear me, Valerie?!” His nostrils flare when she doesn’t respond, and he st
arts shaking her.

  “Daddy, stop.” I’m openly sobbing now, reaching for him. “Don’t hurt her.” He shakes her more violently, and I’m starting to get really concerned. “Daddy! Stop it!” I make a grab for his arm, to haul him back, but he twists around, backhanding me before I can make contact. Red-hot pain zings across my face, and I lose my balance, tumbling to the ground. Tears stream out of my eyes as I clutch my stinging cheek.

  My father has never ever hit me before.

  Never raised his hand to my sister or my mother.

  So this is a complete shock, and I’m destroyed.

  Dad is frozen, his hand still gripping Mom’s shoulders as he stares at me. At least he seems shocked by his own action, but it doesn’t erase the heartfelt hurt lancing me on all sides.

  “Leave her alone,” Mom whispers, staring straight ahead without any expression on her face. “Leave my daughter alone.”

  Dad narrows his eyes at her before flinging her back down on the bed. Turning around, he hovers over me, anger flaring in his gaze. “See? Told you! It’s all an act. A pitiful attempt to be the center of attention.” He jabs his finger at Mom. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Valerie. You’re a disgrace.” Throwing one last glare in Mom’s direction, he storms out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

  I peer up at Mom, dazed and confused. Climbing to my feet, I walk to her side, perching on the edge of the bed. “Mom?” I reach out and touch her cheek, and she turns her head to face me. An errant sob rips from my throat as she looks me directly in the eyes for the first time in months. “Mom!” I bury my head in her chest, crying buckets when her hand lifts and gently brushes my hair.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry,” she whispers in a dry, coarse voice.

  I don’t know how long I stay there embracing her. She doesn’t say anything else, but she doesn’t need to. When I finally lift my head, she’s fast asleep. Tucking the covers snugly around her, I tiptoe quietly out of the room.