He leans in and kisses my cheek, and a heady warmth spreads across my face, giving me the courage to go on. “We were all so proud of her when she scored a full ride to Stanford to study accounting and business. I cried buckets the day she left, because I knew I was going to miss her so much, but I was really happy for her because that was her dream.”
I draw a brave breath as pain batters me from all sides.
“She loved it there. She loved her classes, she made some great friends, and she … she met a guy.” I close my eyes for a brief moment. Levi starts rubbing soothing circles across the back of my hand, and it’s amazingly comforting. My eyes pop open and I continue. “Ever practical, Layla had broken things off with her childhood sweetheart once she received her acceptance to Stanford. She knew the long-distance thing wouldn’t work for them, so she took matters into her own hands and ended it early so that she wasn’t as heartbroken by the time she left for California.”
A shuddering breath leaves me, and I can feel the tenuous grip on my emotions unraveling. “She didn’t date at first, but then she met this guy at the start of spring semester, and she fell head over heels for him. I couldn’t wait to meet him. He sounded perfect. In hindsight, he was too perfect. I should’ve realized it wasn’t real.” I start shaking all over.
He pulls me into a hug. “You don’t have to continue if it’s too painful.”
I hold him tight, siphoning some of his warmth and his strength. “I want to. I need to say this out loud.”
Without hesitation, he pulls me over into his lap and wraps his arms around me. I rest my head on his shoulder and push through my fear. “She stayed in California for summer break because she wanted to be with Gary.” Knots form in my stomach and saying his name makes me want to hurl. “We don’t know what caused him to flip that night, whether he had planned for her to be one of his victims all along or if it was a spur of the moment thing.” I lift my head, resting my hands on his shoulders as I eyeball him. His gaze is awash with compassion. His eyes even greener without his glasses shielding them. “We only found out later that her boyfriend was Gary Knockton, the very man the police were hunting.”
Awareness creeps onto his face. “I remember the news reports and how shocked everyone was that a serial killer was murdering female students on campus,” he admits. I’m not overly surprised that he’s aware of the case. It garnered massive national and international attention.
A messy ball of emotion builds at the back of my throat. “We were all worried for Layla when the story first broke, and I know my parents wanted to beg her to come home, but it’s a big campus, the police were all over it, and Layla was not the type to put herself in danger. She was always so careful, so safety conscious.” I shake my head. “I still can’t believe she actually dated him. That he seemed so perfect when all the time he was out raping and butchering other girls.”
An intense shiver whittles through me, and I hug Levi tighter.
“I have so many unanswered questions,” I admit. “They go through my head every night, driving me crazy. I wonder did she notice anything. Any little quirks. Any things that seemed odd. Did she have any idea who the man she was sleeping with really was, or did it all come as a shock the night he turned on her? I wonder if that’s how it happened. If she realized who he was, and he killed her to keep her silent, or if he was just a crazy, sick bastard who couldn’t control his urge to rape and kill.
“We’ll never know because he died in a shootout with police the same night he murdered my sister. She was his last victim.” I swipe a tear away. “The not knowing is horrendous but not nearly as horrendous as learning how she died.” Tears roll freely down my face. “He sodomized her and raped her repeatedly before slitting her throat and leaving her to bleed out.”
I break down again in his arms. Sobs wrack my body, and the intense pain jackknifing through me is unbearable. I struggle to breathe. But he’s there with me. Coaxing me to draw deep breaths, telling me it’s going to be okay, holding me like he genuinely cares.
Eventually, the tears dry up. I notice the large damp patch on his shirt. “Sorry,” I murmur. “I soaked your shirt.”
“I’ve got more,” he simply says. “And you have nothing to be sorry about. My God, Dakota.” He holds my face in his large, callused palms. “I am so truly sorry for your loss. No family should have to go through that.”
“It’s torn my family apart. Tomorrow, I have to stand before a judge and beg him to commit my mom to a psychiatric facility because my father refuses to accept she’s ill, even though she has barely left her bed for over a year.”
He kisses my forehead. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” He sighs. “I guess now I understand where your dad’s overprotectiveness is coming from and why he was so hostile toward me last weekend.”
“He hit me,” I blurt. “He’s never hit me before. I was trying to reason with him. To get him to accept Mom needs more help than we can give her, and he went crazy.”
A muscle pulses in his jaw. “I don’t care what he’s going through. Nothing excuses him for doing that to you. He’s not going to touch you again.” His voice resonates with resolve.
“It’ll be a moot point after tomorrow. I’m fully expecting he’s going to kick me out of the house and disown me once he discovers what I’ve done.” I lean my head on his chest. “But I don’t care. I’m doing what’s best for Mom, and if he cuts me off, I’ll deal. I’m only here because he wants me to step into Layla’s shoes, but accounting has never been my dream. Most days, I’m bored out of my skull in class. If he does this, he’ll be doing me a favor.”
Don’t ask me what I’ll do or where I’ll go, but I’ll figure something out.
Right now, Mom is the priority, and that’s all that matters.
“Your mom is lucky to have you.”
“She spoke to me the other night for the first time in months, and I didn’t realize how badly I needed her until that moment. She’s all I’ve got left now, and I won’t abandon her even if my dad has.”
I close my eyes, and the steady rise and fall of his chest is comforting. We don’t speak for ages, but it’s not in any way awkward. I fail to stifle a yawn a while later, reluctantly lifting my head. “I’d better go,” I say, fighting sleep as exhaustion finally creeps up on me.
“Stay,” he whispers, brushing hair back off my face. “You can take the guest bedroom. The bed’s all made up, and there’s spare shit in the bathroom.”
I sit up straighter, looking into his beautiful eyes. “Why are you doing this? Being nice to me?”
“I see you, Dakota,” he whispers. “And I want to help.” He claws a hand through his hair, and I’m envious. I want to be the one doing that. “I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t fight it anymore.”
I should go, but I’m so tired, and if I go home now, Daisy will want to know what’s wrong, and I don’t want her to worry about me. Dad would freak if he knew I was staying here, and maybe that’s why I agree. “Okay, thanks.” I tap out a quick text to Daisy and then pad after Levi as he leads the way to the bedrooms.
I spot the acoustic guitar resting against the wall by the window as Levi steers me to the back passageway and my feet stall. “You play?” He spins around, pursing his lips as he nods. “If I wasn’t so tired, I’d ask you to play me something.”
He shuffles awkwardly on his feet, looking pensive. “I’ll play something for you another time. I promise.” He extends his hand to me. I lace my fingers in his, enjoying the warmth of his hand curled around mine. “This is the guest room,” he says, opening the door and stepping aside.
The room is large and decorated in soothing shades of beige and blue. The large king bed is inviting, and I can’t wait to dive under the comforter. He points to an en suite bath. “You’ll find extra supplies in there. Feel free to take a shower or bath if you like, and there are towels in the cupboard.” He points at the closet. “I
have some shirts in there if you need something to sleep in.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he rocks back on his heels. “My room is right across the hall. If you need anything, anything at all, come get me.”
“Thank you. For everything tonight.”
He darts in, planting a soft kiss on my cheek. “You’re welcome, and I meant everything I said tonight.”
I nod, smiling as he exits the room, leaving me to my own devices. The room has been lavishly furnished with expensive walnut furniture and varnished hardwood floors. The heavy drapes are velvet, and I run my hands over the soft material, wondering who exactly Levi is and how he can afford a place like this. Something tells me there’s a lot more to him than he’s let me see so far, and I hope I get an opportunity to look under the hood. I want to understand this complicated man—the one who wants to hold me close and push me away at the same time.
Maybe I should be afraid, to be here with some guy I don’t really know, but my gut tells me the only thing to fear with this guy is losing my heart. Something I promised myself I wouldn’t do until I’m good and ready. And this isn’t that time.
After changing into one of his T-shirts—he wasn’t kidding about having more, there must be forty shirts in this closet, all designer labels too—I wander into the large en suite bath, trailing my fingers along the deep tub. It’s been a long while since I indulged in a bath, and I’m tempted, but I’m drained, and I just want to sleep.
Except sleep eludes me. It doesn’t seem to matter that I’m dead on my feet and my brain aches with tiredness; my body refuses to cooperate.
After an hour of tossing and turning, I get up as if on autopilot, quietly walking out of my room and stopping in front of his, my hand raised in a knock. Should I knock or just walk in? Maybe he’ll think I’m some crazy chick slipping into his bedroom at night, but I just need someone to hold me. Cole used to sneak into my bedroom sometimes, and I always loved the feel of his arms enclosing me. I’ve never slept better than when I was in his embrace.
Until I realized I wasn’t the only one in his arms, and now all my memories are tarnished.
Shaking all thoughts of my ex from my mind, I quietly open Levi’s door and slip inside. I gasp as he looks up at me, not expecting to find him awake. “Can’t sleep either?” he murmurs in a deeply sexy voice, while simultaneously peeling back the covers.
“No.” I shake my head, standing unsurely as I chew on the corner of my lip. “Is this okay? I’m not looking for anything. I just want to sleep in your arms.”
He pats the space beside him, propping up on one elbow and yawning. “I haven’t had such a delightful proposition in forever.” His eyes briefly scan my body. “Come here.” His voice cracks a little.
My mouth is as dry as sandpaper as I approach the bed, noticing he’s bare chested. I’m trying not to stare, but it’s a mammoth task. Levi is all corded, ripped muscle and lickably smooth skin. His abs are tightly rolled, and he has those awesome V-shaped indents on either side of his hips. My fingers burn with intense need, the desire to explore every hard inch of toned muscle almost knocking me off my feet. A trail of dark blond hair snakes under the covers, and I wet my lips automatically. The comforter rests over his lower half, and I’m hoping he’s not naked under there, because the craving to jump his bones is already riding me hard, and I don’t think I’ll be able to resist if I discover he’s not wearing any clothes.
He seems to understand, chuckling as he reaches out for me. “Relax, Blondie. I have boxers on. Your virtue is safe with me.”
Well, damn it all to hell and back. Disappointment crests over me, but I force myself to get a grip. I didn’t come in here to ride his cock. I came here seeking his comfort, and that’s all he’s offering.
Slipping under the covers, I roll around on my side so I’m facing him. He palms one side of my face. “I’d been lying here the last hour debating whether to go get you or not.” I smile at his honest admission. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, exploring my face with the tips of his fingers. “And so strong.”
“I don’t feel very strong,” I whisper back, leaning into his touch. “I feel so out of touch with who I am, and it’s scary.”
“Yeah, I can relate.” Placing his hands on my hips, he pulls me in closer to him. “It’s late, and you’ve a big day ahead of you tomorrow. You should sleep.”
I wrap my arm around his waist, and he jumps a little. His skin is warm as I trace the inky patterns on his arms. I never realized he had tattoos as he always wears long-sleeved shirts. These tattoos are thick and intricate, and they tell a story. One day, I’m determined to get to the bottom of this boy’s story but not now.
Now, I finally feel like I could sleep.
“Night, Levi,” I murmur, my eyes automatically closing as he holds me close to his naked chest.
I barely hear his soft reply as I sink further and further into unconsciousness. “Goodnight my beautiful midnight dancer.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ShawnLevi
Dakota fell asleep almost instantly, and I just watched her, like some creepy perv, until my eyelids grew heavy, and I drifted into slumber. I thought falling asleep with her nestled in my arms was the most magical feeling ever, but I was wrong.
Waking up to find my beautiful, sweet, sad girl wrapped around me like a koala tops the year I won five Grammys in one night.
When she eased herself into my room last night, looking totally fucking gorgeous in my shirt, I knew I was a goner.
Something about this girl makes me want to bundle her up and never let her go. It’s dangerous. Stupid. And completely selfish. But I’m all in now. When I first went to bed last night, I messaged Devin to request a full-time bodyguard be assigned to her asap. She won’t know they’re there, but it will give me peace of mind. Not that I plan on letting her out of my sight all that much, but it will depend on what this thing is between us, I guess.
I can’t pressure her. Not with the stuff she confided last night. She’s holding the reins, and she’ll set the pace.
This will be new for me. I’m so used to getting whatever girl I want, whenever I want, and I’ve gotten complacent, lazy, bored.
But never with this girl.
Dakota is the furthest from predictable or boring you can get, and I’m going to enjoy getting to know her better. A pang of guilt slays me as I think about all I’m keeping hidden from her. Her comment last night about her sister not really knowing who she was sleeping with really hit home. Yes, it’s not the same, but I hate that I’m concealing my true identity from her.
I console myself with the fact I’m more real with her than I’ve been with any other woman. And this version of myself is the truer one, the one I’m trying to reconnect to. Compartmentalizing is the only way I can do this. Dakota is getting to see the real me, and I hope, when the time comes to reveal all, that I’ll be able to convince her to stay. That she’ll understand my motivations were pure, and in the interests of her safety, and that Levi is the man I aspire to be in my personal life. Shawn Lucas is my profession. He’s who I need to be to survive in the music industry, but that arrogant fuck of the last few years is not the real me.
Even though we’re only getting started, I can already tell this girl is important. And I want to be important to her too. I pray I won’t fuck this up, for both our sakes.
But, right now, I have more pressing problems. With the way she’s curled around me—one leg wrapped around my hip and the other resting between my legs—there’s no way she’ll miss the massive hard-on prodding her stomach. I could try and maneuver out of her grip, but I don’t want to let her go. I’m enjoying this far too much.
Any other time I’ve woken up with a girl in bed beside me, I’ve been completely hungover and dying to get them the fuck out of my house before they start getting ideas. Waking up with a girl I actually like, clinging to me like I’m her everything,
is a completely new feeling, and one I realize I could get used to.
“Hhmm,” she murmurs in a sleepy voice, rubbing her nose against my chest. “You smell really good.” I chuckle, and my chest vibrates. Slowly, she opens her eyes, yawning. Lifting her head, she peers up at me. “Morning.” A stunning smile spreads across her lips, and I stop breathing.
What is this girl doing to me?
“Morning.” I press a kiss to the top of her head, holding her tighter. “Did you sleep well?”
“Like a baby.” Her smile widens. “Best sleep I’ve had since …” Her smile falters.
She doesn’t need to complete the sentence for me to get it. “I know, babe. And if it helps, it’s the best sleep I’ve had in ages too.”
“You have trouble sleeping?” she asks, idly running her fingers up and down my arms. Her touch feels so good, and my dick jerks excitedly.
She notices, freezing a little. Her eyes pop wide. “Oh! Oh.”
My lips tug up. “Don’t worry about it. Occupational hazard if you’re a guy.” I wiggle my brows, hoping to break up the sudden tension. Not that it’s unpleasant, but I don’t want her thinking she’s got to do something about it.
“It’s been so long since I woke up beside a man that I’d forgotten the obligatory morning stiffy,” she teases, and I laugh.
This girl is like no one I’ve ever met before. And it’s so refreshing.
“I definitely think us men drew the short straw. Women can be fucking dripping and no one knows a thing.”
She pushes off my chest, propping up on one elbow. “You did not just say that!” She playfully slaps my bare chest, and my cock aches with renewed need. “Men have it so frigging easy compared to women, and you really don’t want to get me started!”
I raise my palms in surrender. “Okay, okay, you win.” I twirl a lock of her hair around my finger. “You looked so damned beautiful wrapped around me this morning, and there’s no way I want to ruin the moment.”
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