Devin steps forward then, extending his hand. “I’m Devin Morgan, head of Morgan Security. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Allen, although I wish it were under more pleasant circumstances. I’m glad you weren’t seriously hurt.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Mom says, shaking his hand. Her cheeks flush lightly, and I have to smother a chuckle. Devin’s pretty easy on the eye, and I didn’t miss how Dakota had a similar reaction to him. If he was my age, I’d be jealous as hell, but he’s way too old for my girl, and he’s happily married, so jealousy is a pointless emotion. “You’ve been looking after my boy?”
Devin nods. “We have, ma’am.”
“Thank you.” Tears glisten in her eyes. “He’s very precious to me. Please keep him safe.”
“Nothing will happen to your son on my watch. You have my word.”
“Thank you. That’s reassuring.”
“Mom, you shouldn’t be worrying about me.”
“I’m your mother.” She squeezes my hand. “It’s my job to worry. It doesn’t matter how old you are, I will always worry about you.” She swings her legs around, patting the space beside her. “Now sit up here, sweet boy, and tell me everything that’s going on in your life.”
I sit beside her with my arm around her waist, filling her in.
“When will I get to meet this special girl?” she asks, smiling after I’ve finished telling her about Dakota.
“Hopefully, when all this is over. Provided she’s still by my side.”
“Only a fool would let you go,” Mom loyally replies.
“Only a mother would say such a thing,” I tease.
“I know you’re worried how she’s going to react, but if she’s as special as you say she is, then she’ll understand.”
“That’s what Ange said. Devin’s wife,” I add before she can ask the question.
“Well, Mrs. Morgan sounds every bit as intelligent as her husband.”
“Oh, she’s way more intelligent than me,” Devin says, not even pretending that he wasn’t eavesdropping.
“Mommy!” A childish voice screams, and the pitter-patter of little feet grows louder until the twins appear in the room. “Shawn!” Noah shouts, Mom all but forgotten when he spots me. He flings himself into my arms, and I laugh, grabbing him into a fierce hug.
“Hey there, little buddy.” I hug the shit out of him as he wriggles in my arms. “I missed you so much.”
My other brother, Connor, wraps himself around my leg, smiling shyly at me. He’s a lot more introverted than Noah, but I’m glad that both of them still remember me. I haven’t seen them in person in a good while, but I’ve spoken with them over Skype and FaceTime because I didn’t want them to forget me.
Steve has Mom enveloped in his arms, and the tormented expression on his face is good to see. Not that I’ve ever doubted his love for her, but it’s good to know things haven’t changed in my absence. That he’s been taking care of them.
I swap the twins out, taking time to hug Connor too.
“Shawn.” Steve clamps a hand on my shoulder. “Thank you for coming. You don’t know how much your mother has missed you.”
“About as much as I’ve missed her,” I reply. “Missed all of you. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused and all that sh—stuff is a thing of the past.”
“I’m very happy to hear it.”
The boys are hugging Mom a little too energetically, and she winces. Steve bends down. “Boys, Mom has a sore arm, so we need to be very careful with her. Why don’t you give her a kiss goodnight and you’ll see her in the morning?”
“I want Shawn to bring me to bed,” Noah says, pouting. Steve looks to me.
“I would love that,” I confirm.
“How about I tuck you up into bed and then Shawn can come read you a story?” Steve suggests, and my brothers jump up and down.
Devin is smiling fondly at the boys, and we exchange a knowing look.
Steve leaves with the boys, and Mom turns to me. “Are you staying the night?”
I look to Devin and he nods, letting me know it’s my call. “I’d like that Mom, but I’ll probably have to leave by lunchtime tomorrow.”
“I understand.” She rests her head on my shoulder, and I carefully slide my arm around her back. “But I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”
I hold her close while trying to eavesdrop on Devin’s conversation with his police buddy, but they are whispering, and I can’t hear what’s being said. After they stop talking, I look over at Devin. “We have plenty of spare guestrooms, so you and your men can help yourselves.”
“And I’ve just ordered some takeout,” Steve says, returning to the room. “I’m sure everyone has to be hungry.”
“Thank you. We appreciate it,” Devin says.
“The boys are waiting for you, Shawn.” Steve squeezes my shoulder, and I stand.
Luke steps forward. “I’m going to head home, Shawn, but I’ll be back here first thing in the morning. Call if you need anything. Anything at all.”
“Thanks, man.”
He leans over to hug Mom, and I exit the room, taking the stairs to the upper floor two at a time. It’s been a long time since I’ve helped put my brothers to bed. I can’t believe how much they’ve grown, and I’m determined not to miss out on any more of their lives going forward.
My steps falter as I spot one of my guitars resting against the wall outside the twin’s bedroom. I used to play to them when they were smaller, when Mom called on my services to help settle them at night. I’ve missed this.
I know Steve left it there, and it only reinforces what a good man he is. A good father and husband, and I know he’d be a good stepfather if I let him.
That’s another thing I’m going to rectify.
I want to get to know Mom’s husband; to form a proper relationship with him. Every time he’s tried, I’ve kept him at arm’s length. Getting to know Devin these last couple months has helped open my eyes. Since Gramps died, I’ve had no male role model in my life and it’s good to have someone I can trust to talk to. Devin’s been more like an older brother, but I know Steve would be there for me, as a father, if I asked him to.
I slide the guitar strap over my shoulder and step into the twin’s room. It’s been redecorated since I was last here. “Someone’s a fan of the Avengers, huh?” I ask, chuckling as I count all the Avengers-themed items in the room. Mom has a tendency to go a little overboard on things, but I know it’s because we didn’t have a lot when I was growing up, and it’s nice that she can indulge now. Although she’s never flippant or wasteful about money. Years spent counting pennies does that to a person, I guess.
I sit on the bed beside Noah and pat the other side of me for Connor. “Come over here, buddy.”
“I’m gonna be Thor when I grow up,” Noah says.
“And I’m gonna be The Hulk,” my other brother says.
“Who will I be?” I ask.
“Duh,” Noah says, chuckling. “You can’t be anyone.”
“Why not?”
“’Cause you’re already grown up, silly.”
I mess their hair, chuckling. “That’s too bad. I’ve always seen myself as The Cap.”
“Are you gonna play your guitar?” Connor asks, peering up at me with these wide innocent eyes.
“That’s the plan. If you like?”
“Yes, yes.” Noah jumps up, clapping his hands.
“Okay.” I chuckle again. “Snuggle into me and close your eyes, and I’ll play you some songs.”
I close my eyes too and start playing, softly singing so as to create an ambience suitable for sleeping. Their small bodies crush into my side, and when their tiny hands rest on my chest, I feel a surge of emotion so strong my voice cracks and I mess up the words, but they don’t notice because, when I open my eyes, bot
h my brothers are already fast asleep.
I study them while they’re sleeping, marveling at all the ways they’ve changed, and I know I’d do anything to protect these little dudes.
A gentle sob alerts me to her presence and I look up. Mom is standing in the doorway, in her pajamas, with tears in her eyes while she watches us.
Carefully extracting myself from the bed, I tuck the boys in, leaving them to sleep in the same bed, and tiptoe out of the room. I place my guitar against the wall, and then Mom pulls me into a hug, and I close my eyes, breathing her in. The only other time I’ve felt this deep sense of contentment is when I’m holding Dakota in my arms.
“Shit,” I whisper, shucking out of Mom’s embrace. “I need to check my cell. To make sure Dakota is okay.”
“I put your jacket in your room. Why don’t you check in with her and then come to my room? I’ll have some food brought up, and we can chat some more in there.”
I nod, kissing her cheek as I make my way to my old bedroom. I close the door, deliberately ignoring the pang of nostalgia as I step into the room and pull out my cell.
My heart plummets to my toes when I see the undelivered text from earlier. “Fucckk!” I flop down on the bed, groaning. We were just about to take off when I sent it to her, so it mustn’t have sent before the signal died. I was too absorbed in getting to Mom on the ride from the airport to even think about checking.
Judging from the multitude of missed calls and texts, I can tell she’s worried, although the last few are angrier in tone.
Fuck. I hold my head in my hands, and my heart aches. She must think I stood her up. After all that shit with Calista last weekend, this is the last thing she needed.
I check my watch, noting it’s almost two a.m. back in Iowa. She might still be up. I take a chance and call her number, but there’s no answer. Not wanting to leave this any longer, I send her a text.
I’m so sorry baby. Had 2 head back 2 L.A. 2 deal with emergency. Only just noticed the text I sent u didn’t deliver. I’ll explain everything when I’m back. Sorry if u were worried. I’ll call u l8r. Sweet dreams.
I head to Mom’s room with a heavy heart, pissed that I let Dakota down so badly tonight and hoping she’ll give me a chance to explain.
Mom and I stay up for another couple of hours eating pizza and talking through all the crap from the last couple of years. I tell her how sorry I am for not listening to her about my bio dad, and for letting him drive a wedge between us, and she explains how she had to resign as my manager because she couldn’t watch me self-destructing anymore.
Thing is, I know she did the right thing.
And she found Luke. She ensured I was in very capable hands. Mom was never cut out to be a celebrity manager, and I know she struggled with the scene, so the fact she stuck by my side for so long tells me how much she loved me. I put her through hell with all the girls, drink, and drugs, and I pushed her away when she met Steve and had the twins, convinced she didn’t need me anymore.
Now that I’ve come out the other side of things, I can see how selfish and immature I was.
And how very wrong.
Everything she has said and done tonight shows me how much she loves me, and, deep down, I’ve always known it.
It was Mom and me against the world for so long, and we have a strong bond.
One that can survive separation and cruel, harsh words that were untrue.
I’m glad we thrashed it all out, that we’ve reconnected, and that I’ll have my family back in my life again.
Devin is assigning a new team to stay here and watch over them, and as I return to Iowa the following afternoon, I know the time has arrived to come clean with Dakota. I can’t continue to keep her in the dark, not when the threat has become all too real.
I’m terrified I’m going to lose her, but keeping her safe is more important than my own selfish wants and needs, and I continuously remind myself of that fact as I make my way back to her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Dakota
When Levi didn’t show at seven, I wasn’t all that worried. He’s usually late, so I didn’t sweat it. When seven thirty turned into eight, I started to become concerned. That’s when I began calling him. His cell went straight to voicemail, so I texted him, over and over again. When I hadn’t heard anything by nine, I walked over to his place, terrified the entire time I would find him lying unconscious or something. But his place was empty.
I checked every room, and that’s when I found the recording studio, and knots formed in my stomach.
I’m the first to admit I know very little about the music industry. I’ve an eclectic taste in music, and I’ve never been obsessed with any one band or artist. In fact, I’ve only been to a few open-air events. But as I take in the small room with the obviously expensive technical equipment, I’m pretty sure this isn’t the norm for session musicians. And he didn’t mention a word to me about it, which I find weird as he plays his guitar every night while I dance, and he’s shown some of his work to me. I’m not one to pry, and I thought the other closed doors were bedrooms, so this has come as a shock. Why would he hide this from me?
A veil of uncertainty shrouds me. I know he’s been holding parts of himself back from me, but now I’m wondering if it’s bigger than that. I can’t put my finger on it, but something just feels off now about the whole thing.
I hang around his place for an hour, and then worry becomes rage.
He stood me up.
And he didn’t even have the decency to call or text me.
It’s not typical for him, and maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt, but after that bitch showed up here last week, I’ve been on edge. I told him I believed him, and I do, or I did, but now I’m not so sure.
Has he been playing me all along?
All I know is something happened tonight, and whatever it was, I obviously didn’t feature high enough on his list of priorities to even warrant consideration.
After Cole, I swore no guy was going to treat me like shit again.
Yet here I sit.
I get up and leave my key to his place on the counter, slamming the door shut behind me.
I’m still in a foul mood when I wake the following morning, after very little sleep. I purposely didn’t answer his call at two a.m., and while his text did calm me a little, I’m not sure I believe him. Am I so unimportant that he only thought to check his cell seven hours after he apparently sent me a text? All I know is if I had an emergency, he’d be the first person I’d think to call. I sure as shit wouldn’t forget about him for hours on end.
He’s not in class, and I don’t see him around the business school all day. The girls are tiptoeing around me, afraid to say the wrong thing, and I know I’m a crabby bitch, but I’m seriously pissed at myself for letting another guy pull the wool over my eyes. He’s called my cell a bunch of other times, but I continue to ignore him.
Let him know what it feels like.
As if this day couldn’t get any worse, Mikayla accosts me as I leave the building after my last class of the day. I’ve a pounding headache, and she’s the last person I want to see. “Get lost,” I snap before she’s even opened her mouth. I stride ahead, setting off in the direction of my dorm.
She runs after me. “You stupid bitch, you couldn’t leave things alone, could you?”
“If this is about Cole breaking up with you, that had nothing to do with me.”
“Don’t fucking lie,” she yells, grabbing my elbow and stalling me.
“I’m not lying and get your filthy back-stabbing hands off me.”
“Me?! What about you?” she screeches, throwing the full weight of her bitchy resting face behind her words.
“If you’re asking if I’ve been messing around with Cole behind your back, the answer is no. Why the fuck would I want your sloppy seconds?”
I rub a tense spot between my brows. “I’ve had a shitty fucking day, and I’m in no mood for this, but I’m sick of you and Cole confronting me when I want nothing to do with either of you, so if you’ve got something to say, spit it out.”
“You stole him from me in the first place!”
I look at her like she’s grown ten heads. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I told you I liked him, and you went and dated him without any consideration for my feelings!”
“Oh my God, Kayla, that was second grade! And you never mentioned Cole to me again. Seriously, you expected me to remember a passing crush when you were eight and to turn Cole down when he asked me out seven years later? Do you even hear how crazy you sound?”
“You could’ve asked me before you said yes!” she spits back, nostrils flaring.
“Like you asked me every time some guy asked you out? Get real. You are fabricating shit to try and justify the fact you betrayed me. And, guess what? I don’t actually give a flying fuck anymore. You are welcome to Cole. I don’t want him!” I push past her. “And I’m done with this conversation. Leave me alone, or I’ll report you to security for harassment.”
I am fuming the whole way home. I just want to get into my pajamas, crawl into bed with a tub of ice cream, and wallow in my heartache.
But when I step foot into my dorm, I’m shocked to find Levi sitting on the couch talking to Daisy. He doesn’t usually come here, and she’s only met him once. Jumping up, she looks sheepish, her cheeks turning red. “I, ah, hope you don’t mind, but he was waiting out in the hall when I arrived.”
I glare at her, letting her know that yes, I do fucking mind. I’m still furious with him and not ready to talk. Wisely, she scurries to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
I move to the front door and open it. “Get out. I don’t want you here, and I don’t want to talk to you.” I’m still all fired up from my confrontation with Mikayla, and I’m in no mood for going another round with him.
Incognito Page 21