Incognito

by Siobhan Davis

  “Kota, baby, pl—”

  “Don’t call me that!” I interrupt him. “And I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses. Just answer me this. Were you with her? The redhead? Were you fucking her and that’s why you forgot I existed?”

  “Jesus! No! I told you about Calista. She means nothing to me. I wasn’t with her.”

  “I wish I could believe that.”

  He cautiously steps around the couch, standing in front of me. “I know you’re mad, and you have every right to be, but I can explain.”

  “Mad?” I yell. “I am so beyond mad there isn’t even a fucking word in existence that describes how I’m feeling. You weren’t answering your cell, and I couldn’t get a hold of you. I thought you had crashed your car or you were lying unconscious on the floor at your place! I honestly thought something horrible had happened to you because I knew you wouldn’t just stand me up without telling me. Every step closer I got to your apartment building was a step closer to that night.” An errant sob escapes my mouth. “I thought the worst had happened to you. I was petrified opening the door to your place. So scared I’d find you in a pool of your own blood. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”

  I double over, clutching my waist as everything I felt the night I heard about Layla’s murder comes flooding back.

  “I’m so sorry, Dakota. I didn’t even stop to think about that. I was on a plane when I sent you a text, and I didn’t realize it hadn’t sent until hours later. I would never intentionally stand you up. Never. Or do anything to hurt you.”

  “Well, you have,” I hiss. “And I want you to go. I can’t do this.”

  “Please, Dakota.” He moves to touch my face, but I pull back.

  “Please, go, Levi.” Looking at him hurts too much right now. Everything hurts, and I need to be alone.

  His eyes glimmer with sadness and regret as he nods. “I’ll go, but only because you clearly need some time. But I’ll be back. And this doesn’t change any of my feelings. You’re still the most important person in my world.”

  I look down at the ground, not willing to let his face and his words take this from me. My head is a mess right now, and I need to be alone to work out how I feel.

  I don’t watch as he walks out, but I feel him move past me, and every ounce of my being strains toward him, but I deny my body and my heart and close the door behind him.

  It feels prophetic.

  The rest of the week passes by with no word from him, and that only pisses me off more. I know I told him to stay away, but I secretly wanted him to fight for me. The fact he has made no effort to call me or speak to me during class and that he acts as if I don’t exist whenever we bump into each other on campus only infuriates me more. He hasn’t shown up on the roof any night this week, although I’ve secretly hoped he’s been watching me.

  Ugh. I’m a complete mess, and my emotions are veering all over the place. I honestly don’t know what to think or what I want.

  The girls have tried talking to me, telling me to speak to him, to at least find out what he has to say, but what’s the point?

  If I meant anything to him, he would have tried harder.

  And I hate this constant ache in my heart, and I know it only would’ve been worse if I’d gotten more attached. But, God, do I miss him. I miss him so much.

  Now that he’s not there to distract me, I’ve had no choice but to turn my thoughts to my future. I’ve no interest in accountancy, and I’m only getting up and going to class each day because otherwise the temptation to stay in bed licking my wounds is too strong. I saw how quickly Mom sank into depression, and it’d be too easy for me to do that too. But I’m not letting some guy push me over the edge, even if I had been harboring dreams of him being that special someone.

  I don’t know what I want to do with my life, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this restless, or so lost and alone.

  A small crowd blocks the entrance to our building when I return home, after dark, Saturday night. Daisy and I have just been to the movies with Elsa and Tabs. They staged an intervention, ganging up on me, insisting on dragging me out for a few hours. I even surprised myself by enjoying it.

  The strumming of a guitar stops me dead in my tracks. Daisy gasps when the crowd parts and Levi steps forward. Butterflies scatter in my chest, and my heart starts thumping wildly as his eyes lock on mine.

  “Once upon a time, I came to Iowa and met a girl,” Levi says, speaking loudly, almost as if he wants the growing crowd to hear him. “Not just any girl. A girl so unique she turned my world upside down.” He steps a little closer, softly strumming the guitar. “A girl who has awoken the part of myself I thought I’d lost. A girl who made me realize all the things worth cherishing in this life, including her. I’m not always able to say the things I want to say, so I wrote her a song to show her how much she means to me.”

  He stops playing for a moment, reaching out and touching my face. “To make her understand she still means all that to me, even though I was an ass and I let her down in the worst way.” He steps back, lovingly stroking the strings of his guitar as the melody to my song reverberates around us. His eyes drill into mine. “I sang this for you before because I needed you to hear me. Now, I’ll sing it from the rooftops so everyone can hear and know how precious you are to me. Damn the fucking consequences. I want you and everyone to understand how much you mean to me, babe. You’re my world, Dakota. This is for you.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  ShawnLevi

  This is fucking risky. Luke will kick my ass. Devin will kick my ass. Mom will kick my ass. But I don’t know how else to get through to my girl. I know I told her I’d give her space, but I thought she’d come running back into my arms within a few hours, once her anger and hurt had faded, but it’s been four days.

  Four days that feels like four years.

  I never stopped to consider how my non-appearance that night would affect her. I hate that I brought her grief to the surface, but it also proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that she loves me as much as I love her.

  And I can’t let that go.

  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

  I need to remind her how I feel about her, and I figured publicly serenading her is one way of ensuring I get through to her.

  Even if the risk of discovery is greater once people hear me sing.

  But I don’t care about that now. I just need to get Dakota to speak to me again, so I can tell her everything.

  She’ll either dump my lying ass and I’ll fuck off back to L.A. with a broken heart.

  Or she’ll stick with me and hopefully agree to come live with me in L.A.

  Either way, I’ve decided over the course of the last few days that I’m not fucking hiding anymore.

  I’m done with this asshole stalker dictating how my life plays out.

  I need to be back in L.A. to be near my family, and I’ve got more than enough new songs to form an album which should keep the label happy.

  The only thing left to work out is my relationship with Dakota.

  I’m not leaving without her, I tell myself as I start singing her song. I keep my eyes locked on her beautiful face as I put my heart on the line. The crowd mushrooms in size, but I barely notice because I can’t look away from the girl who has captured my heart and soul. Tears glisten in her eyes as I sing to her, pouring emotion into every word that leaves my lips.

  When I’m finished, the crowd erupts into applause, but the only reaction I care about is hers.

  Removing my guitar, I place it on the ground and approach her cautiously. “I’m so sorry, Dakota, but I’ve meant everything I’ve said to you tonight and every other night.” Tears still linger in her eyes, but she’s smiling. “I didn’t know how else to get you to see.” I cup her face, and she lifts her hand, placing it over mine. Throwing caution to the wind, I press
my mouth to her ear and whisper, “I love you. I love you too much to lose you.”

  She sucks in a sharp breath, and I peer into her eyes.

  “Do you mean that?” she whispers, pressing her body in closer to mine, sheltering our words from the nosy crowd.

  “With all my heart.”

  With tears in her eyes, she stretches up on tiptoe and presses her lips to mine. A heady warmth invades every inch of my body, heating me from the inside. The kiss is soft and sweet and filled with so much promise. She pulls back, peering into my eyes as she whispers, “I love you too.”

  I gulp over the swelling of emotion in my throat, clutching her to me and hugging her fiercely. A few bystanders are shrieking and hollering, and now I wish they’d all just fade away.

  “Can we get out of here?” she pleads. “As much as I loved that bold public display of affection, I need to have you to myself.”

  “Of course. Are you okay to come back to mine? There’s lots I need to tell you.”

  She nods. “Let me just tell Daisy.”

  I pick up my guitar, watching as she hurries over to Daisy. The crowd has quickly dispersed, and most people are gone. A few girls hover around me, telling me how incredible that was and how lucky my girl is, but I barely notice them as I watch Dakota and Daisy’s interaction. Daisy is staring off into space, nodding absently at whatever Dakota is saying. Then her head jerks up, and she notices me watching. Her cheeks flush red, and a look of shocked awe appears on her face.

  Fuck. I think she’s just figured it out.

  “Let me tell her,” I mouth across the gap between us, and Daisy subtly nods, gulping visibly.

  “Well, that was weird,” Dakota says, reappearing at my side.

  “What, babe?” I ask, gratefully tucking her into my side.

  “Daisy is all spaced out and acting strange, and I’ve no clue why.”

  “Was my singing that bad?” I joke.

  She pokes me in the ribs as we walk out to the street where my SUV is parked. “You know that’s a virtual impossibility. You sing beautifully.”

  I help her into the car, locking the guitar in the trunk. “Are you hungry?” I ask, as I kickstart the engine.

  “Only for you.”

  I flash her a wide grin. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too.”

  “And I’m really sorry about Monday. You’ve got to believe I would never intentionally stand you up or purposely ignore you. After I’ve explained, it will all make sense.”

  “It’s okay. I believe you.”

  “You do?” I maneuver the car out into the traffic.

  “Yeah. Anyone that makes such a massive public demonstration is worthy of my belief and my trust.”

  Shit. I really fucking hope that’s true, because I want to be worthy of her trust and her forgiveness.

  “Why do you look so nervous?” she asks.

  “Because the things I have to tell you aren’t going to be easy to hear, and I’m afraid you’re going to want nothing to do with me.”

  She squeezes my knee. “I’m too invested and too selfish to give you up.”

  I pray to God that’s true.

  My hands are shaking as I open the door to my penthouse. The instant the door is locked, Dakota shoves me up against it, slamming her lips down on mine. Her tongue swirls into my mouth, and blood rushes straight to my dick, hardening it instantly. With huge reluctance, I break the kiss, panting as I attempt to draw a breath. Dakota grinds against me and I moan. “Baby, we need to talk.”

  She runs her hands up my chest, locking them behind my neck, and peers into my eyes. “I know we do. I need to hear what you have to say, and I have questions of my own, but they can wait till morning because I need something else from you right now.” She rocks against my hard-on making her intentions clear.

  “I need to get this off my chest, beautiful, and you’re not making this easy.”

  “And you will,” she says, stretching up to kiss me. “But not now. I need you to make love to me, Levi. Like you did the last time. I need to remember what it feels like to have your touch sear me from the inside. Please.”

  Aw, fuck it. I know we need to have this talk now, but how the hell can I resist her. Maybe she senses it too. That this conversation is going to change everything, and she wants to have this night to pretend like nothing is going to change.

  I lift her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist as I walk us to my bedroom. She plants a trail of hot kisses on my face and neck as we move, and I drink in everything about her, committing it all to memory in case this is the last time I get to experience this with her.

  My hands caress her beautiful body as I help her out of her clothes, and then it’s her turn to explore as she undresses me. We don’t talk. We just share silken touches and soft kisses, and then she’s underneath me, writhing and moaning as I worship her all over. I watch her detonate as a powerful orgasm rockets through her body, and she’s the most mesmerizing creature on the planet. Suiting up, I slide into her slowly, welcoming the way she squeezes my cock as I start to move inside her.

  “I love you,” I whisper in between kisses as I carefully make love to her.

  Her fingers wind through my hair, and she pierces me with an intense look. “I love you too. So much it physically hurts sometimes.”

  Her words fill me with hope, and I capture her lips in mine, kissing her deeply. Her hands roam my body as we rock against one another, kissing and moaning as wave after wave of pleasure builds until it peaks, and we both tumble together.

  After we’ve cleaned up, I hold her in my arms, pressing kisses to the top of her head, her cheek, her neck, wanting to kiss her forever. We don’t speak. We know it’s coming, but, for now, we both want to pause time, to have this one special night. I pray it’s the first of many and not the last one I’ll ever enjoy with her in my arms.

  Sun is streaming through the open window early the next morning when Dakota’s cell starts vibrating. We stir at the same time, and she reaches out for it, her hand fumbling along the top of the bedside table as she tries to focus through blurry eyes. Grabbing the phone, she holds it up to her face, squinting. Then she bolts upright, and I immediately tense up, warning bells firing on all cylinders.

  “What’s wrong? Is my mom okay?” she answers, panic evident in her tone.

  I sit up, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I fight a yawn.

  “Okay. I’ll leave straightaway.” Ending the call, she flings the covers off and starts picking her clothes up from the floor.

  I get up, walk around the bed and place my hands on her shoulders, forcing her face up to mine. “What’s going on?”

  Tears well in her eyes. “My mom had a seizure, and they’ve taken her by ambulance to the hospital.”

  I pull her into my arms, hugging the shit out of her. “I’m so sorry. I’ll drive you.”

  “Thanks.” Her voice is strained as we pull apart and silently get dressed.

  I’m just grabbing my keys from the kitchen counter when my cell pings. “It’s Devin,” I tell her. “I just need to take this.” I slip out onto the balcony and accept his call. “I can’t talk now, Devin. I need to—”

  “Your cover is blown,” he says, cutting across me. “That stunt you pulled last night has gone viral.”

  “Shit!” I kick at the legs of the wicker end table in frustration. I thought I had a least twenty-four hours before I was outed. Enough time to tell Dakota the truth. But I can’t rush to tell her now, and I can’t hold her here, not when she needs to be with her mom. “This is the worst fucking timing ever, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I need to drive Dakota to the hospital. She just got a call that her mom had a seizure.”

  “I’m really sorry to hear that, but you can’t drive her. Hordes of reporters have already descended on the city, and it’s onl
y a matter of time before they find you. She doesn’t need that kind of attention on her or her mother.”

  “This is a fucking mess!” I yell.

  “Calm down. I’ll message my guy and get him to drive her to and from the hospital. He’ll keep her safe.”

  I hate not going with her, but Devin is right. She doesn’t need the additional worry or distraction. If someone spots me and tells her who I am before I’ve had a chance to tell her myself, all hell will break loose. I hope no one calls her with the news before she comes back. I guess I’ll just have to take that risk. There’s nothing I can do about it now. “I need to talk to her.”

  “Take five and call me back. We have other stuff to discuss.”

  I hang up without responding and walk back inside. “Baby, I’m really sorry but another emergency has popped up, and I’m not going to be able to drive you.”

  Hurt flickers in her eyes, and I move in, holding her face firmly. “I love you, and I want to be there for you, but I can’t. This is all tied up with what I need to tell you. I should’ve told you last night, but it’ll have to wait until you come back. I have a guy downstairs to drive you there and back. He’ll keep you safe. In the meantime, I need you to promise me something.” Her sorrowful eyes meet mine. “Do not look at social media until you return. Promise me, Dakota.” I press a kiss to her lips.

  “You’re freaking me out even more than that phone call did,” she admits, breaking my heart.

  “I’m sorry, but I just need you to trust me.” I kiss her again. “I love you, and everything I’ve told you is true.” I pull her hand to my chest, right over my heart. “You know the real me. You understand me better than most people. Don’t forget that.” She nods, and I can see her fighting to hold onto the truth in her heart. “You better go. Your mom needs you.” I kiss her on the forehead. “I’ll be here for you when you get back.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  ShawnLevi