“Moving to L.A. is clearly a non-runner, but what does that mean for us? Do you still want an us?” The vulnerability in his gaze almost undoes me.
“Yes, I still want an us.”
He buries his face in my shoulder. “Oh, thank God.”
“How will this work?”
He lifts his head up. “We’re not that far away from one another, and I have a private plane.” He winks, and I roll my eyes. “I’ll come to you when I have time off, or you can travel to me?”
I like that he’s posed it as a question. That he’s including me in the decision. “I’d like that, and perhaps it will help ease me into the lifestyle.”
“Maybe your first trip could be Christmas? I know it’s only a couple weeks away, but my mom has invited you and your mom to come spend the holidays with us. I can organize all the travel arrangements, and we have plenty of guest rooms. Please say you’ll come?”
“You told your mom about me?”
He nods. “I’ve been staying at her house since I returned to L.A. and we’re reconnecting.”
He had told me before that he wasn’t really speaking to his mom although he hadn’t gone into details. I run my fingers around the back of his neck. “I’m really pleased you’ve patched things up with her. Family is important.”
“So important,” he agrees. “Will you come? Pretty please?”
I laugh. “I will if you promise to never say that again. Especially not in public.”
“Your wish is my command.” His lips tug up at the corners.
“Mom is doing better, but she’s still uncommunicative at times. I don’t want things to be awkward.”
He grips the nape of my neck. “My mom knows everything, and she’s sympathetic. She just wants to meet you both.”
Stress flitters off my shoulders. “And I can’t wait to meet her. Thank you. I was kinda dreading the holidays.”
“You’re so strong, Dakota. So brave. Are you really okay after everything today?”
I nod. “I am. I mean, I was terrified, but, somehow, I just knew it would be okay and that helped keep me calm. I can’t properly explain it, but I wasn’t freaking out like I probably should have. I … I just knew you wouldn’t let anything happen to me.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “And I haven’t thanked you for saving me. You’re my hero.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not the hero. Devin was amazing. He just took control and kept me sane at the same time. I think I owe that guy a bonus or something.”
“You’re still a hero to me,” I whisper. “You burst into that room without any consideration for your own wellbeing.”
He pushes my hair back off my face. “I heard you cry out and I didn’t hesitate. If anything had happened to you …” He shivers, and I hug him tight, before climbing off his lap and extending my hand to him.
“I’m here. You’re here. And we’re both alive and well,” I tell him, as he gets up. I rise on tiptoes and kiss him properly for the first time in weeks. His arms sweep around my back, and he pulls me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he locks his arms under my butt. “I say we should celebrate life,” I whisper over his mouth.
“What did you have in mind?” His voice is gruff and needy.
“I want my boyfriend to make love to me,” I softly reply. “I want him to remind me why it’s fantastic to be alive.”
Shawn carries me to his bedroom, sprinkling kisses all over my face and neck as we walk. We strip out of our robes and fall on the bed in a pile of tangled limbs. Our kisses quickly grow hot and heavy as weeks of pent-up longing explodes in a mesh of sexual frenzy. I push him flat on his back and straddle him. Leaning down, I nip at his lips, biting and sucking as I grind against his lap. He emits these sexy sounds as I toy with him, heating my blood to boiling point. I sit up abruptly. “I want to feel you inside me with no barrier. I’m on the pill and I’m clean.”
“Me too. I’ve always used condoms.”
“As have I.” Cole went through a phase of begging me to ride him bareback, but I always held back. “I was saving this for you.”
I lower myself slowly on top of him, and we both groan as our heat mingles and our bodies start moving against one another. I ride him slowly and sensually, dipping down to kiss him, stroking his tongue with mine as he thrusts up into me. Then he takes control, sitting up while holding me in his lap, and we rock against each other as his hands and mouth explore every inch of my body. We climax together, clinging to one another as we ride wave after euphoric wave. Then we collapse in a sweaty heap on the bed, and he pulls me to him, spooning me from behind. “I want to do this with you every day for the rest of my life,” he tells me, and I inwardly swoon.
“You’re quite the romantic for a bad boy,” I tease.
“Well, I do write love songs for a living.”
I laugh, holding his arms more tightly around me. “You got me there.” I sigh contentedly. “And I take it back. I don’t hate your music. I love your music and your voice, and I love watching you play. Your words inspire me.”
“You inspire me. Every day, and in every way.”
My heart swells to bursting point. “My God, Shawn. You’re ruining me for eternity.” My voice is choked with emotion.
“Good, because I plan to keep on ruining you for as long as you’ll let me.” He kisses my temple. “I love you, my beautiful midnight dancer.”
“And I love you, my sweet, sexy rock star,” I reply in a breathy voice just before sleep claims me.
EPILOGUE
Dakota
Six Months Later
“Are you sure you’ll be okay? I can wait another few weeks or—”
“Sweetheart,” Mom says, cutting across me. “I’ll be fine. Your Aunt Hilda is here with me now and I’m much better.” She holds my hands and squeezes. “Thanks to you, my beautiful sweet girl. I love you so much.”
Tears sting my eyes as they have done regularly in the four months since Mom returned home. She still attends the outpatient clinic and she’s still on medication, and she most likely will be for the rest of her life. The doctors are delighted with her progress, and with every passing day, I see more and more of the mother I used to know.
She won’t ever be the same.
Neither will I.
No one could be after the tragedy we’ve endured, but we’re both surviving and finally moving forward with our lives. “I love you too, Mom, and I’ll phone every day.”
She laughs, grabbing me into a hug. “Now I know you’re lying. You’ll be having too much fun on tour to be thinking of me.”
“I could never forget you, Mom. You’re too much a part of me.”
She tweaks my nose. “I know that, silly, but I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“Live your life and stop worrying about me. You are finally getting to live your dream, and you have that gorgeous man, who adores you, by your side. Have fun. Explore the world. Enjoy being in love. And when you come back to visit, I’ll be waiting to hear all about it.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I kiss her cheek. “And I’m only at the end of the phone if you need me for anything.”
“Take care, darling.” We kiss and hug one final time before I walk down the steps, away from my family home, and into the car waiting for me.
The driver closes my door and I get settled, rolling down the window and waving to Mom and Aunt Hilda as the car glides away. I send a quick text to Shawn to let him know I’m en route to the airport.
As the landscape passes by in a blur, I take a moment to recall the whirlwind that has been the last six months of my life. Shawn and I have spent every spare moment together, splitting our time between Iowa and L.A. We even found the time at Easter to travel to Hawaii for a mini vacay. Mom had been home six weeks by then and she was doing well. Aunt Hilda visited to look after her
in my absence, and she never left. My aunt is eight years older than Mom, and she never married, so she has no ties. The arrangement worked out well.
Mom and Dad were officially divorced two weeks before he became a father for the third time. He has since married Monique, and they live in the city with their new daughter. Mom has taken it far better than I expected, but we don’t talk about him much, so I’m not sure if that’s just a front for me or if she’s genuinely okay with it.
I have yet to meet my new half-sister, but I want to. Dad invited me to visit after she was born, but I’m not ready yet. I know she’s innocent, and what happened to my family isn’t her fault, but I’m still processing all my feelings, and I can’t enter her life until I’m in the right place. I’m not sure I’ll ever be welcoming of Monique, but I guess if I want to attempt to repair the relationship with Dad, then I’m going to have to try.
For now, I’m moving on with other aspects of my life and focusing on me.
At least things with L.A.’s hottest, sexiest, most-in-demand rock star are going well. Better than well. I’m head over heels in love with my man and excited to move things forward in our relationship.
Shawn’s L.A. lifestyle took some time to adjust to, and if I’m being brutally honest with myself, I’m still not all the way there. It’s a whole other ball game, and the fake people, the greed, and materialism aren’t something I’ll ever get used to, but I’m prepared to make the sacrifice for the man I love.
Besides, he’s the one making all my dreams come true.
In a week’s time, I’ll begin rehearsals for his world tour which kicks off in the U.K. in three months, and I’m in that excited-nervous space. The tour is a year-long one, so we won’t be back until this time next year. Then we’ll have the summer together before I take up my place in Juilliard. I’m extremely lucky that they’ve given me another opportunity, and I’m really looking forward to fulfilling my childhood ambition. Shawn is planning on relocating to New York with me, although he will have to travel a lot, but I have faith we’ll make it work. We love each other too much to let what we have go.
Getting to dance on a worldwide stage is another childhood ambition, and I still have to pinch myself to realize this is happening. Although Shawn offered me an instant contract, I refused to be given preferential treatment, and I auditioned in front of his dance director and head choreographer like every other dancer.
I wanted to earn this on my own merit and not because I’m the star’s girlfriend, even if that’s what everyone else assumes.
I’ve come in for a lot of flak from his fans and the media in the last few months, but I’m riding the storm. Shelly, his PR person, has been very helpful, coaching me and providing tips before every public event. The first time I appeared at an official event as his girlfriend was one of the most nerve wracking experiences of my life, but Shawn never left my side, and, gradually I’ve learned to relax. Dealing with the fans and groupies is something I’m still struggling with, but it’s part of being in a relationship with one of the most famous men on the planet.
The fan reaction to our relationship has been extreme. Either they hate me and blow up social media criticizing every little thing about me or they love me and the affect I’ve had on their boy. I’ve had girls stop me in the street asking for my autograph. I’ve also had girls shout horrific abuse and spit at me when I’ve been out. I have a full-time personal bodyguard now—Shawn was insistent after everything that went down—and it’s taken some getting used to.
But the tradeoff is worth it.
Shawn is everything I’d never realized I wanted or needed. He brightens my world in so many ways, and he goes out of his way to make me feel cherished and loved, never failing to call me on a daily basis, regardless of how hectic his schedule is.
For a guy who hadn’t the first clue about relationships when we first met, my man sure has done me proud.
He always has my back, no matter what, and he refuses to clip my wings, constantly supporting and encouraging me, making me believe I can achieve anything I set my mind to.
I didn’t think it was possible to love a guy as much as I love him, but every day I fall more and more in love with him, and I’m excited for this next phase of our relationship.
I send him a quick text as I strap myself into the seat on his private jet, accepting the glass of champagne from the hostess with a grateful smile.
Shawn
I stand on the shoreline of my private beach in Malibu, basking under the warmth of the sun, contemplating how much my life has changed in the last year. I still feel like pinching myself to be living this life. The one I always imagined when I was a punk ass kid strumming my guitar in the garage of Matt’s house.
I’ve tried reaching out to Matt several times in the last year, but he wants nothing to do with me, and I have to respect his wishes.
Maybe some friendships just weren’t built to last.
“Uncle Shawn!” Reece, Nick’s son, screeches, barreling toward me on his short legs. “Look what I made for Kota.”
I crouch down, ruffling his hair as I examine the colorful mess on the page. “Wow. You made her an awesome card. She’s going to love it, buddy. Thank you.” I hold out my fist and we knuckle touch. My brothers come racing out onto the sand, and Reece thrusts the card at me before running to meet them. I grin as I watch the three of them chase one another around, laughing gleefully.
“Here, man. Figure you could use one of these.” Nick hands me a cold bottle of water as I carefully slide the card into the back pocket of my shorts.
“Thanks, bud.”
“Has she landed yet?” he asks, watching the boys as he sips a beer.
“Thirty minutes ago. She should be here soon.”
“Good stuff.” He clamps a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got yourself a good one, Shawn. Hold onto her.”
“I plan to.” I rub a hand over my jaw, unsure how to bring this up but wanting to get it out of the way before Dakota arrives. “I’m sorry about Cheyenne, man.” His ex, and Reece’s mother, was sent to jail for ten years last month for the part she played in Dakota’s kidnapping and the earlier attempt on my life.
Dakota and I both had to testify, and we made a plea for leniency for Reece’s sake. Even if we both feel she’s a bad influence, she’s still his mother, and we didn’t want this for him.
Nick and I have grown really close again, and I’m trying to persuade him to join my band on tour. The money is great, and he could bring his son, but he still seems reluctant. I’m hoping Dakota might be able to get through to him where I’ve failed.
“Shawn!” Mom hollers from the patio, waving her hands frantically at me.
“I better see what she wants. Keep an eye on the little monsters.”
Nick nods. “Sure. I’ll coax them back in a few.”
“Sup?” I ask Mom, dragging my hands through my longer hair. Dakota loves my hair like this so I’ve no desire to cut it. I swear I almost come in my pants every time she runs her fingers through it.
“I forgot the damned shrimp.”
I place my hands on her shoulders, chuckling. “Mom, relax. It’s only Dakota. She’s not going to care if we have shrimp or not.”
“But it’s her favorite.”
I gesture at the table laden down with food. “Mom. You have enough food to feed an army. Chill. And you know Kota’s laid-back. She wouldn’t want you fussing.”
Mom messes up my hair. “I just want everything to be perfect for you. This is a big step. You bought a house together, and I know it’s serious between you.”
“You can’t mention that in front of her. You know she’s a bit weird about money, and I haven’t told her I put her name on the deeds yet. I want it to be a surprise, and I need to time it right.”
She makes a zipping motion with her finger. “These lips are sealed.” She smacks a kiss to my
cheek. “I’m just so happy you’re happy and that you’ve found a lovely, sweet, genuine girl who loves you for you.”
Nick comes up behind us, chuckling when the boys rush past us, squealing and shouting as they head for the playroom. “Boys! Stop running in the house,” Mom says, chasing after them.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom already has your wedding all mapped out,” he says, grinning. “She can’t stop gushing about Dakota.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised either, and if I have my way, she’ll get the chance to implement her ideas.”
“Hot damn. I knew it was the real deal, but I’d no idea it was that serious already.”
I shrug, like it’s no biggie, but Nick knows me better than most. “It is, but it’s not like I’ll be going there anytime soon. Kota’s only twenty and we’ve still got plenty of things to squeeze in before marriage and babies.”
“She’s here!” Mom calls from inside the house, and I all but sprint to the front door.
I rush outside as Dakota emerges from the car. She’s wearing a summery white dress that stops at her knees and flip-flops. Her long wavy hair is loose, blowing in the gentle breeze, and her gorgeous skin is bare of makeup. My breath stutters in my chest, as it always does whenever I see her. She has no idea how completely stunning she is, or the full extent of the affect she has on me. With every passing day, I love her deeper and stronger. No amount of time with her will ever be enough. Closing the gap between us, I sweep her up into my arms, swinging her around. She giggles, pressing down on my shoulders. “Put me down, you idiot!” she chastises, but she’s smiling.
“I’m excited you’re finally here. Sue me if I’m overly enthusiastic.” I place her feet on the ground and smash my lips to hers. It’s been two weeks since we last saw one another and I’ve missed my girl. She wraps her arms around my neck and presses her hot body against mine, kissing me back with the same intensity, uncaring that Mom and Nick are standing at the door watching our amorous display.
Incognito Page 29