Stay as Sweet as You Are

by Joan Jonker

  ‘I wish me ma would stop bragging about me achievements, it’s embarrassing. But if she ever tells yer I can walk on water, take it with a pinch of salt.’ Titch glanced at the clock before holding his hand out to Steve. ‘Look after yer mam, lad, take good care of her. And, of course, yer mate, Mrs Aggie.’

  Steve felt ten feet tall. ‘Yer can rely on me, Mr Titch. But I wish yer weren’t going away, I’ll miss yer.’

  ‘We all will,’ Olive said. ‘Even if it’s only for yer cheek.’

  Titch bent and kissed the top of her head. ‘Yer’ve come on a treat, Olive. Keep it up at this rate and I won’t recognise yer when I come home.’

  Mother and son felt sad when they heard the door close behind him. Tommy ‘Titch’ McBride had come into their lives like a ray of sunshine, and picked them up when they were down. They had much to thank him for.

  ‘Me mate sails today,’ Bob said, flicking a crumb from his lips. ‘We had a cracking night out with him last night. Mind you, me and George can’t keep up with his drinking. If Titch had had his way, neither of us would have been fit for work today.’

  ‘When are we going to meet this mate of yours?’ Peg Butterworth wanted to know. ‘Tall, tanned and handsome, he sounds right up my street.’

  Elsie Burgess, her plump elbows leaning on the table, looked sideways. ‘Any man in trousers is right up your street, queen.’

  ‘Ay, watch it, you!’ Peg looked put out. ‘Be careful what yer say about my good name, unless yer fancy wearing a black eye.’

  ‘It’s true! Everyone knows ye’re man mad.’ Elsie’s elbow slipped off the table and her sandwich ended up in her eye. But, undeterred, she carried on: ‘It’s not so long ago that yer asked me about the milkman what was having it off with a woman in our street.’

  ‘But the poor man wasn’t having it off with the woman in your street, was he?’ Billy Gleeson said. ‘It was your bad minds. If he’d known what yer were saying about him, he could have had yer all up for defamation of character.’

  Elsie’s mouth gaped. ‘What was that yer said, Billy?’

  ‘He could have had yer all up for defamation of character.’

  ‘Yeah, I heard that, but could yer say it in English, please?’

  Peg gave her friend a dig. ‘Don’t show yer ignorance, girl. That was English.’

  ‘Well, I didn’t never learn nothing like that in my school. Some of it, yeah, but not that defation. I didn’t never hear that word before.’

  ‘The word is defamation, Elsie.’ Billy was highly amused. ‘It means he could have sued yer for every penny yer’ve got.’

  Up and down went the table with Elsie’s tummy. ‘Blimey, if he can get his tongue around a big word like that, he’d deserve to take every penny I’ve got. But he’d have to do it on a Saturday, ’cos I’ve never got two ha’pennies to rub together the rest of the week.’ Her face straightened. ‘Anyway, clever clogs, Billy Gleeson, yer’d better be careful what yer say or I’ll have you up for that deffy thing. We didn’t do no wrong, it was a genuine mistake. How were we to know our neighbour was a friend of his missus? And that he stopped for a cuppa and a butty every morning? It was an easy mistake to make.’

  Peg sat sideways in her chair and weighed her friend up. ‘And what about the coalman? Was his missus a friend, too?’

  ‘How the hell do I know!’ Elsie was getting all het up. ‘Yer’ll be asking me next if the bleedin’ horse was a cousin of hers.’

  ‘Keep yer hair on, girl.’ A glint came in Peg’s eyes. ‘Yer can’t afford to lose any hairs ’cos yer haven’t got many to start with.’

  ‘Are you looking for a fight? If yer are, I’ll give yer one,’ Elsie said. ‘I’ve got as many hairs on my head as you have, if not more.’

  Peg pursed her lips. ‘I’ll bet yer any money yer haven’t.’

  ‘And I bet yer any money I have.’

  ‘Okay,’ Peg said. ‘Put yer money where yer mouth is. How many hairs have yer got on yer head?’

  Oh, she’s not catching me out there, thought Elsie. She thinks she’s clever, but she’s picked on the wrong one. ‘You tell me how many you’ve got first, then I’ll tell yer.’

  Peg’s expression was superior to say the least. ‘At the last count it was two million, three hundred thousand and twenty-five.’

  Elsie managed to look astounded. ‘Well, would yer believe it?’ She gazed around the table. ‘That’s exactly the same number I’ve got.’ She turned to her friend, and before Peg realised what she was up to, Elsie reached over and pulled out a few hairs that were sticking out from under her turban. ‘Now yer’ve got three less than me.’

  ‘That does it.’ Peg banged her fist on the table. ‘Prove it.’

  Elsie looked blank. ‘What d’yer mean?’

  ‘Start pulling them out and count them. And we’ll all sit here and witness that yer play fair. When yer’ve got to two million, three hundred thousand and twenty-five, if yer’ve still got a hair left on yer head, then you win.’

  ‘Yer can sod off, you can! Yer must think I’ve just come over! It was you what started all this, so it’s up to you to prove what ye’re saying. Start counting, queen.’

  ‘I haven’t got time, girl, ’cos the bell will be going in ten minutes. So we’ll call it quits, eh?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Elsie smiled, ‘we’re both winners.’

  Peg delved into the pocket of her overall and brought out a threepenny joey, which she handed over. ‘Here’s yer winnings, girl.’

  ‘Thanks, queen.’ Elsie stared down at the small chunky coin nestling in her chubby hand. Smiling, she picked it up and held it out to Peg. ‘And here’s yours, queen. It was a good, clean, fair fight and we both deserved to win.’

  Bob winked across at Kate. ‘D’yer know, it’s a pleasure to come to work. Apart from when I’m out with me mates, this is the only time I get a few laughs and some decent conversation. Plus the added bonus of having a pretty woman sitting opposite to me.’

  Billy swivelled in his seat. ‘Ay, I heard that.’

  ‘Yer were meant to.’ Bob chuckled. ‘I don’t see why all the gossip should come from the women, so I thought I’d add a bit of spice to liven things up.’

  ‘That’s a good idea, mate. Just listen to this.’ Billy leaned across the table and gestured for everyone to follow suit. Then in a loud whisper, he said, ‘Don’t any of yer repeat this, but Kate and Bob are having a clandestine affair.’

  ‘Oh, the gear!’ Peg said. ‘That’s something we can really get our teeth into.’

  ‘I don’t agree with it.’ Little Ada Smithson’s thin lips became a narrow line in her pale face. ‘It’s a sin, that is.’

  ‘What did yer say Kate and Bob were having, Billy?’ Elsie asked, not bothering to keep her voice down. ‘I didn’t hear yer properly.’

  ‘A clandestine affair, Elsie.’

  ‘What school did you go to, Billy Gleeson? It certainly wasn’t the same one as me ’cos we don’t speak the same language.’ Elsie leaned her elbows on the table and looked along to where Kate was sitting. ‘You speak English, queen, so you tell me. What are you and Bob having?’

  It was with great difficulty that Kate kept her face straight. ‘We’re having an affair, Elsie.’

  ‘Go ’way!’ Elsie mulled the information over for a few seconds, then asked, ‘What exactly d’yer mean, queen?’

  ‘Me and Bob are having what you thought yer milkman and neighbour were having. Only they weren’t and we are.’

  The bell sounded then and chairs were scraped back. ‘Why didn’t yer tell us that earlier, Billy Gleeson?’ Peg asked. ‘Now we’ve got to wait until tomorrow for the next instalment.’

  Bob stood at the end of the table and waited for Kate to pick up her belongings. ‘I dropped yer in it there, I hope yer don’t mind. I just thought it would be a laugh.’

  ‘So yer think having an affair with me would be a laugh, do yer, Bob Mellor? Well, thanks for the compliment.’

  Bob blushed to the roo
ts of his hair. ‘I didn’t mean it like that, Kate. Any man having an affair with you would be a lucky man indeed.’

  ‘Don’t take it to heart, Bob, I was only pulling yer leg. And it was a laugh. But we’ll never hear the end of it, so be prepared. Peg and Elsie will have a field day with this.’

  ‘I’ll sort it out with them tomorrow, then they won’t embarrass yer. I should have had more sense, a man of my age.’

  ‘Will yer stop worrying? Peg and Elsie are not soft, they’ll know it was only a joke. They’ll have a few laughs at our expense then it’ll die a natural death. You mark my words.’

  Kate turned off when they reached her section. ‘I’ll see yer tomorrow, Bob.’ Then in a loud voice she called after him, ‘I’ll meet yer at eight, outside the Forum.’

  He smiled and waved back. ‘Don’t be late, like yer were on Monday.’

  Peg nudged her mate. ‘Yer see, Elsie, I told yer it wasn’t true. They’re just having us on. The trouble with you is, yer’d fall for the bleedin’ cat.’

  ‘Which cat, queen? I haven’t got no cat.’

  Peg rolled her eyes. ‘Why did I pick a friend what’s got nothing between her ears only fresh air?’

  When Bob came home from work on the Thursday he went straight into the kitchen to swill his hands and face. ‘I’m going up to the Fletchers’ after I’ve had a cup of tea. I want to get the room prepared for Saturday, so me and George can start hanging the paper.’

  Ruby was by the stove, pouring boiling water into the tea pot. ‘You men are bloody fools falling for a hard luck story. Talk about act soft and I’ll buy yer a coalyard, isn’t in it. Olive Fletcher is too lazy to do anything for herself, so she flutters her eyelashes, pretends she’s sick, and has the lot of yer running around after her.’

  Bob didn’t answer as he dried his face on the towel. He refused to be drawn into an argument with someone who wouldn’t get off her backside to help anyone. His wife didn’t know anything about the Fletchers and the hard time they’d had. Even if she did, they’d get no sympathy from her. She didn’t have a compassionate bone in her body.

  ‘It would do yer more good to decorate yer own house,’ Ruby said. ‘Never mind wasting yer time up there.’

  Bob hung the towel back on the nail behind the door. It wasn’t twelve months since he’d papered the living room, but it wouldn’t do any good reminding her. She’d set her mind against the Fletchers, and every other family in the street for that matter, and no amount of persuasion would alter that. ‘I won’t bother with a drink, I’ll have one when I get up there. I’ll be back at half-five for me dinner.’

  ‘But I’ve made this pot of tea now!’ Ruby followed him into the living room, intent on giving him a piece of her mind. But her mouth closed on the words when she saw him looking down at the True Confessions magazine she’d bought that morning. She bought one every week but never cracked on because he’d have a go at her for wasting money when Lucy needed clothes. She usually hid it behind the cushion on her chair but she’d slipped up today.

  ‘I’m sure yer’ll manage to get through a pot of tea while ye’re reading this tripe.’ Bob saw the price on the top of the magazine and was filled with hopelessness and despair. ‘The cost of that would have bought Lucy a pair of socks.’

  Ruby stared him out. ‘I didn’t buy it, smart arse. Me mate called round and lent it to me.’

  ‘Telling lies is the only thing ye’re good at, Ruby. Oh, and calling everybody fit to burn. I suppose I should feel sorry for yer really, but I can’t. Yer see, where ye’re concerned, I no longer have any feelings whatsoever. You killed them long ago.’ With that, Bob turned on his heels and left the room. He told himself to put it out of his mind; getting upset wouldn’t do him any good. So when he was knocking on Aggie’s door, there was a smile on his face.

  ‘I’ve come for the paper and paint, Aggie. I know there’s a lot to be done before we can make a start, but seeing as me hands are empty I thought I’d carry it up and get it over with.’

  ‘Come in, lad.’ Aggie closed the door behind him. ‘Yer can take the paint ’cos they’re big tins and too heavy for me to carry. But yer can’t take the paper or border ’cos it wants trimming. Me and Irene are going to make a start on it tonight, so it’ll be ready when yer need it. Oh, and your Lucy’s going to help. We’re meeting at Irene’s at half-six, when she’s got the dinner out of the way.’

  ‘A hive of activity, eh, Aggie? I’m glad to have something to do to occupy me mind.’

  Aggie studied his face. He was still smiling, but it was an empty smile. And she detected a sadness in his eyes. ‘Glad of a chance to get out of the house, are yer, Bob?’

  Bob’s nod came with a sigh. ‘Yes, Aggie, ye’re right. It’s a terrible thing to say, but when Lucy’s not there, there’s nothing in that house for me. I must be the only feller in Liverpool that’s glad to go to work. But as they say, I’ve made me bed and I must lie on it.’

  ‘Yer shouldn’t have to spend a lifetime in misery, lad, no one deserves that. Perhaps when Lucy’s grown up yer can do something about it. There is such a thing as divorce, yer know.’

  ‘I’ve thought of everything, Aggie, believe me. But a divorce is complicated and nasty. Ruby wouldn’t consent to it anyway and she’d cause merry hell. I wouldn’t want to put Lucy through that. But in a few years – well, who knows.’

  ‘Yeah, ye’re right, lad. God works in mysterious ways and none of us knows what’s going to happen in the future. But I’ve got a feeling in me bones that there’ll come a time when you and Lucy are happy and contented.’

  ‘I hope so, Aggie. Now can yer show me where the paint is and I’ll be on me way to Olive’s and get some work done. George is hoping I’ll have the room ready for papering by Saturday.’

  ‘They’re on the floor in the kitchen. Yer’ll have to get them yerself, I can’t lift them.’

  Bob put the tins down and stared at the bare walls. ‘I wasn’t expecting this, Olive. Steve must have worked like mad to get this stripped.’

  ‘Ay, Bob Mellor, I helped, yer know. Steve did the top, I did the bottom. The paper was hanging off anyway, so it was easy.’

  ‘Right, I’ll start rubbing the paintwork down, then. But is there any chance of a cuppa? I work better after I’ve had a drink and a ciggie.’

  ‘I’ll put the kettle on, but I’ve only got conny-onny. Is that all right?’

  ‘I was brought up on conny-onny, Olive, it suits me fine.’

  Bob started on the door leading to the hall. He was on his knees when Olive came through carrying two cups of piping hot tea. ‘Come and get it. I’ve no saucers, I’m afraid.’

  Bob pulled a chair out and sat facing her. ‘Olive, I was brought up in a house with no saucers.’ They were both laughing when there was a knock on the door.

  Olive’s hand went to her throat. ‘I wonder who this can be?’

  ‘It won’t be a bogeyman – they only come when it’s dark.’ Bob laughed and stood up. ‘I’ll answer it.’

  Olive sat with her ear cocked. She heard a man’s laughter and her heart lurched. It sounded like Titch, but it couldn’t be. He’d be on the high seas by now. ‘Who is it, Bob?’

  ‘I was wrong, it is a bogeyman. I’ll let him in though, ’cos he looks harmless enough.’

  Olive’s eyes were on the door when Titch walked in. ‘In the name of heaven, am I seeing things or is it a ghost?’

  ‘The ship developed engine trouble and we had to turn back. It’s in for repairs now, and they could take a few days. So ye’re honoured with my company again.’ Titch eyed the two cups. ‘What are yer doing, Olive Fletcher, entertaining a strange man the minute me back’s turned? A married man at that.’

  ‘He’s only been here about five minutes.’

  ‘I know how long he’s been here, ’cos I went home first and me ma told me. Anyway, where’s my cup of tea?’

  Bob chuckled. ‘Only conny-onny, Titch, and no saucer.’

  ‘Just the way I li
ke it. And you can pour it out, Bob, while I fill Olive’s heart with happiness by telling her I’ll probably be home long enough to see this room decorated.’

  ‘Yer’ll be getting stuck in, mate, like the rest of us,’ Bob told him. ‘With everyone working flat out, it should be finished on Saturday.’

  Titch grinned. ‘In time for the pub opening, I hope.’

  Chapter Sixteen

  Bob and Titch worked like Trojans, and by half-past five all the paintwork had been rubbed down. ‘That’s a good job done,’ Titch said. ‘But with the best will in the world I don’t see how we can get the room finished on Saturday.’

  ‘It can be done.’ Bob was more optimistic. ‘If Olive will wash the paintwork down while we nip home for our dinner, we can start putting the undercoat on when we come back. I’ll bring a brush and the two of us can get cracking. We should get it finished tonight, then the gloss can go on tomorrow.’

  Olive looked uneasy. ‘I don’t want to stop Titch going for his pint.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s an important point,’ Titch said, pursing his lips as his head wagged from side to side. ‘A whole day without a pint doesn’t bear thinking about.’

  ‘Yer could keep telling yerself it’s Sunday,’ Bob said. ‘And all the pubs are shut.’

  ‘I’ve got a better idea. Every time I get a pang, I’ll look at Olive and remind meself that even a pint of bitter with a frothy head on isn’t as pretty as she is.’

  ‘Will yer go home for yer dinner and stop embarrassing me.’ Olive could feel herself blushing. ‘Our Steve will be in soon and he’ll want something to eat before he gives me a hand washing the paintwork.’

  ‘Aren’t some people ungrateful, Bob?’ Titch slipped his arms into his reefer jacket. ‘I sabotaged the engine for this woman, and that’s the thanks I get.’

  Olive pointed to the door. ‘Will yer go now, the pair of yer?’

  Bob chuckled as he grabbed Titch’s arm and pulled him into the hall. ‘We’ll be back in an hour, Olive.’

  As soon as she heard the door close after them, Olive bustled out to the kitchen where the mince and onions were simmering gently and the potatoes were ready for mashing. She turned the gas off but left the pan lids on to keep the food warm. An hour wasn’t very long to eat a dinner, wash the dishes and then start cleaning the paintwork. But she was determined to do as much as she could. God knows, everybody was doing all they could to help her, the least she could do was pull her weight.