Stay as Sweet as You Are

by Joan Jonker

  ‘So yer’ve not been short of company, Ma?’

  ‘What! Sometimes this house has been busier than Lime Street Station. But that’s the way I like it, son. Better that than sitting on me own looking at four bleedin’ walls and talking to meself. Not that I don’t enjoy a conversation with meself, ’cos as yer are well aware I can hold a very intelligent conversation with meself. The only thing is, it’s very difficult to tell yerself to sod off and mean it.’

  Titch put a hand over hers. ‘I’ll do anything for yer, Ma, yer know that. But telling yer to sod off is the exception.’

  ‘I should think so!’ Aggie huffed. ‘That would be very disrespectful and would call for me to stand on a chair and box yer ears for yer.’

  ‘Knock it off, you two,’ Irene laughed. ‘Anyway, Titch, aren’t yer going to ask how I am?’

  ‘How are you, Irene?’

  ‘I’m fine, thank you. George is fine, Jack’s fine and Greg’s fine. Me new sideboard is beautiful and me new couch a dream. I was going to tell yer about me lovely new bedding, but I think Aggie would think it was disrespectful to mention the word “bed” and I wouldn’t want to end up getting my ears boxed.’

  Titch sat back in his chair feeling very contented. It was good to be home. ‘So yer got everything yer were saving up for?’

  ‘Yes, Mr McBride, I’m very happy to say I did. When yer call for George tonight yer’ll think yer eyes are deceiving yer. Of course yer won’t be allowed to sit on me couch, or lean yer elbows on me sideboard. If I let you get away with it, the boys would complain about me making them sit on the floor. So while yer can look, sunshine, yer cannot touch. Those are the rules of the house now.’

  Titch thought it was hilarious. ‘I’ll stand on the step and wait for George to come out. From the sound of things, yer’d lay a duck egg if me coat happened to brush against yer sideboard. I bet George is having a dog’s life.’

  ‘Don’t you believe it! He’s as happy as Larry in his old fireside chair. He wouldn’t part with that thing for all the money in the world. And my chair has been taken over by Jack. He says he’s a working man now, and his wages entitle him to the same comfort as his dad.’ Irene’s laughter ricocheted off the walls. ‘He’s asked me to buy him a whip for his birthday, so he can crack it when I don’t move fast enough for him.’

  ‘Ye’re well blessed with yer family, Irene. Good husband and good kids.’

  ‘She certainly is,’ Aggie said. ‘But then she’s a damn good mother.’ Under her breath, she muttered, ‘Not like some I could mention.’

  ‘Does Lucy still come in for a game of cards?’ Titch asked. ‘And if she does, does she still win all the time?’

  If there was a slight hesitation before Irene answered, it went unnoticed. ‘Yeah, she still comes in, and much to Jack’s disgust, she’s still very lucky.’ Then she quickly took the conversation away from Lucy. ‘Yer won’t be seeing Bob tonight, by the way, ’cos he’s on afternoon shift. So it’s just you and George. And please don’t let my husband have too much to drink, he’s the very devil to get up in the mornings.’

  ‘Okay, we’ll just have a couple of jars and save the serious drinking until Saturday, when Bob’s with us.’

  Lucy sat at the table and watched her mother combing her hair in front of the oval-shaped mirror over the mantelpiece. She knew if she said anything it would bring forth a load of abuse, but the burden of guilt she was carrying around with her was getting too heavy to bear. ‘Ye’re not going out again, are yer, Mam?’

  Ruby swung around. ‘And what if I am?’

  ‘Me dad would go mad if he knew yer went out so often when he’s at work. The first time yer went out and left me, yer said it was only for that one night. But that was months ago and now ye’re going out more than ever. It’s not fair on me dad.’

  ‘The only way yer dad would know is if you told him.’ Ruby forced herself to remain calm. ‘And it would be daft to cause a row when I’m only going round to me mate’s. I’m not doing anything wrong.’

  ‘Then why don’t yer tell me dad? He wouldn’t mind if ye’re only going to yer mate’s, and I could go in next door instead of being in the house on me own.’

  Ruby gritted her teeth. ‘If you want to cause a big row, then tell yer dad if yer want. But I can’t understand what all the fuss is about. I’m always in when he gets home from work and there’s always something ready for him to eat. And as for you being on yer own in the house, well, at thirteen years of age yer should be old enough to put yerself to bed.’

  ‘I’m not thirteen until next month. And yer know I’ve always been frightened on me own in the house. Why can’t I go next door and play cards with them?’

  ‘Because I say so, that’s why. I don’t want the whole bleedin’ street knowing me business.’ Ruby’s temper was reaching boiling point. Her hand was itching to lash out at Lucy. But she couldn’t take a chance on her daughter getting upset and running next door. If Irene Pollard found out what was happening, she could say goodbye to her nights out and to Wally Brown. ‘Look, I’ve promised me mate I’d go tonight, and I don’t want to let her down. But I won’t go out again this week, honest. And as yer dad’s on nights next week, I won’t be able to get out at all, then.’

  Lucy lowered her head, not knowing which way to turn. How could her mother look her straight in the face and tell barefaced lies? Lucy knew she went out when her dad was on nights because she’d heard her. Ten minutes after the front door closed on her dad, she’d hear the kitchen being closed and locked, footsteps down the yard, then the latch on the entry door being dropped. And it wasn’t only one night, it was at least two in each week. The knowledge Lucy carried around with her was making her ill. She didn’t know where her mother went or what she got up to, but she did know it was wrong for a married woman to behave in such a way. She also knew her mother was using her to deceive her father and that was the worst part because he didn’t deserve it and she loved him so much. Many times she’d been on the point of telling him, but was afraid of the consequences. What if it were the straw that broke the camel’s back and he walked out of the house for good? That didn’t bear thinking about because she couldn’t live without her father’s love.

  ‘Well, don’t just sit there,’ Ruby said, her hands on her hips. ‘Are yer going to take yerself off to bed, or not?’

  ‘Only if yer promise it will be the last night yer ever go out without me dad knowing. It’s not fair to expect me to go along with your lies and I won’t do it.’

  ‘But yer haven’t told any lies, have yer?’

  ‘Not telling the truth is just as bad as lying.’

  Ruby looked at the clock. Wally would be arriving at the club on the dock road any minute now, and he didn’t like to be kept waiting. She’d promise anything rather than have him upset. ‘I’ve told yer this will be the last night, and I mean it.’

  Lucy kept her head down; she couldn’t bear to look her mother in the face. ‘I’ll see meself to bed.’

  Ruby’s sigh was one of relief and anger. Fancy having to kowtow to a chit of a girl. If it weren’t for the fact she had a sneaking feeling Lucy confided a lot in that cow next door, and Irene Pollard and Bob were as thick as thieves, she’d give her a good hiding and kick her up the stairs.

  Ruby gave one last pat to her hair before leaving the room without a word or a glance at her daughter, who was still seated at the table. Her head was bowed and tears were trickling down her cheeks.

  Wally Brown didn’t look very pleased when Ruby hastened down to where he was sitting. ‘Where the hell have yer been? I felt like a right mug sat here on me own.’

  ‘I’m sorry, but me daughter kept me back. Yer know I wouldn’t be late if I could help it. But she wouldn’t go to bed and we had words.’

  Wally wasn’t at all happy with the way the affair was progressing. They still met on a Saturday night in the pub and sat with the Armitages and the Bowlers, but they were careful not to let their friends know they were meeting
twice a week on the quiet. This seedy little club, frequented by sailors and women of ill-repute, was their meeting place. Wally hadn’t expected to wait so long for what he was after from Ruby, but the furthest he’d got in four months was passionate kisses and fumbling down a dark entry. ‘I don’t know why yer won’t let me come to your house. Once yer daughter was in bed she wouldn’t know any different. I could come and go the back way so no one would see me, and I’d leave well before yer husband was due in from work. At least we’d have an hour to ourselves. I’m browned off coming to this dive, it gives me the willies.’

  ‘Ooh, I don’t know about that. Me neighbours are nosy buggers, and they wouldn’t think twice about telling Bob. Besides, if Lucy heard us talking she’d be down like a shot and that would really put the cat amongst the pigeons.’

  ‘I don’t want to come to talk, Ruby – we’ve done enough of that in the last four months.’ Wally resorted to flattery. ‘I’m not made of stone, yer know. I can’t be satisfied with the odd kiss, not the way I feel about yer. When we’re together, I can hardly keep me hands off yer. I want to make love to yer and it’s driving me crazy.’ He ran a hand over her thigh. ‘Yer said yer wanted some excitement in yer life and I can give yer that, and more. But I’m beginning to think yer don’t feel the same about me.’

  Ruby covered his hand. ‘I do feel the same about you, Wally, yer know that. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here tonight.’

  ‘Then find a place where we can be alone, even if it’s only for an hour. And let me make love to you like yer’ve never been made love to before.’

  The nagging doubt in Ruby’s mind fled when she felt her whole body thrill to his words. He’d practically said he loved her. She couldn’t lose him now, she’d never find anyone else to please her the way he did. She’d be back to her boring life, with her boring husband and boring daughter. ‘I’ll do me best, Wally, I promise. Perhaps we can take a chance next week when Bob’s on nights. If yer came about ten, Lucy should be fast asleep.’

  Although he was gloating inside, Wally managed one of his smarmy smiles. It wouldn’t have fooled any of the tough prostitutes sitting near them with sailors of every nationality, but it fooled Ruby. ‘Yer won’t be sorry, love, I promise. I’ll please and satisfy yer so much yer’ll be floating on air. And I’ll show yer how to make me happy.’

  ‘I’ll write the day down, and me address, on a piece of paper and slip it to yer on Saturday in the pub. The entry door’s got the number painted on it in white, so yer can’t miss it. And I’ll be watching and waiting for yer.’

  Bob leaned across the canteen table. ‘How old is your daughter, Kate?’

  ‘Just a couple of weeks older than yours. Why?’

  ‘I was just wondering. Has she changed at all? I mean, has she gone quieter, more withdrawn, like?’

  ‘Not so I’ve noticed. She doesn’t act daft like she used to, but yer can expect that when they’re growing older. In twelve months, Iris will be leaving school, same as your Lucy. They won’t be our little girls any more, they’ll be working young ladies.’ Kate could see this wasn’t what Bob wanted to hear. He was obviously worried about his daughter. ‘What is it? Is Lucy not well?’

  ‘Oh, she’s not sick or anything like that. It’s just that she doesn’t laugh as easily and is much quieter than she ever was.’

  ‘Well, haven’t yer asked her? That would be the best thing to do.’

  Bob blushed. ‘I wondered if it was her age. You know, a girl’s body changes when she gets in her teens. And I couldn’t ask her that because she’d get embarrassed.’

  ‘I know things are not good at home, Bob, but surely it’s her mother’s place to tell her the facts of life. It shouldn’t be left to you.’

  ‘I know that, Kate, but yer see, my wife isn’t a normal mother. She has no time for Lucy and I doubt if she’s even noticed the change in her. All Ruby thinks about is her make-up, dyeing her hair, her ciggies and her nights out in the pub with her mates. She doesn’t give a toss for me, I’m just the man who hands his money over every week. There are times when I feel like packing me bags and finding lodgings somewhere. But I’d have a job finding a place that would take me and Lucy. And I’d never leave her there, she’s my whole life. I love her more than anyone else on this earth.’

  ‘I wish I could help yer, Bob, but there’s not much I can do. Lucy doesn’t know me, and she wouldn’t take kindly to a stranger asking her questions.’

  ‘No, I realise that. I’ll have a word with Irene, next door. Lucy thinks the world of her, so she’d be the best one to have a chat with her.’ There came a loud burst of laughter from their workmates, and Kate and Bob leaned forward to see what was going on.

  Peg Butterworth had her chin cupped in her two hands as she glared at Elsie Burgess. ‘Say that again, girl, but start at the very beginning.’

  ‘All right, queen, I’ll start from the night before last, when I put me washing in the dolly tub to steep overnight. Well, it was all me sheets and pillowcases, so I put some bleach in the water to bring them up nice and white. But when I took the clothes out of the tub yesterday morning, I found I’d accidentally put my feller’s blue shirt in the wash. At least, it was my feller’s blue shirt, but now it’s his patchy grey one. I was beside meself, queen, ’cos he loved that bleedin’ shirt more than he loves me. While I was getting the dinner ready for our Edna to put on, I was trying to think of what I could do to make amends. I’d peeled the potatoes and carrots and turnip, and I was just salting them when I had this brainwave.’

  ‘You with a brainwave?’ Peg said, tongue in cheek. ‘That’s a novelty.’

  ‘Who’s telling the tale, queen, you or me?’

  ‘I’m sorry, girl.’ Peg lifted her hands in surrender. ‘My lips are sealed from now on.’

  Happy she now had the undivided attention of all her mates, Elsie went on: ‘I thought of a way to sweeten him up, so he wouldn’t pulverise me when I showed him his shirt. I set a tray with a nice lace cloth on, filled me best glass sugar bowl, got out me china milk jug what hasn’t seen daylight since Adam was a lad, and put them on the tray with his favourite cup. It looked a treat, dead posh and fit for the King. And I left a note for our Edna to make her dad a nice cup of tea before she put the dinner out.’

  ‘Did it do the trick?’ Billy Gleeson asked. ‘Did it sweeten him up?’

  ‘Well, it would have done if I hadn’t gone and got meself all mixed up. What with all the worry and one thing and another, I’d filled the sugar bowl with salt and put sugar in the potatoes and carrots and turnip. And my feller takes three sugars in his tea, so yer can imagine he wasn’t best pleased when he gulped half the cup down in one go before making a dash for the sink and spewing it up. Our Edna said he was drinking cup after cup of water until she put his dinner down to him. She said that was when all hell broke loose. Yer see, my feller doesn’t only like a lot of sugar in his tea, he likes plenty of salt in his spuds and vegetables. And I’d gone and got them all mixed up, hadn’t I?’

  The howls of laughter were so loud, Elsie knew there was no point in going on because she wouldn’t be heard. So she folded her arms across her tummy and waited for the noise to subside. Then she said, ‘Well, anyone can make a mistake, can’t they?’

  Peg was pressing her hands to her cheeks which were stiff with laughing. But she couldn’t resist a leg-pull. ‘Anyone can make a mistake, girl, but very few could make as many in one go as you. It’s beyond my comprehension how anyone can be so feckless.’

  Elsie’s eyes narrowed. ‘Is she insulting me, Billy Glee-son?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Billy’s eyes were red-rimmed with wiping away the tears of laughter. ‘She said she can’t understand why ye’re so daft.’

  ‘Yer mean that’s all those big words meant?’ Elsie looked down her nose at Peg. ‘Ye’re wasting yer time here, queen, yer should be standing behind the counter at Cooper’s. That’s the posh shop where all the rich people go, and they talk so far back yer can’t hardly hear the
m. I think yer’d go down well there, queen, as long as yer remembered yer can’t tell them to bugger off, like yer do me.’

  Billy was getting impatient. ‘Elsie, will yer get back and finish the tale off? What did your feller have to say?’

  ‘Oh yeah, yer’ll like this bit, Billy. I didn’t, but you will. Yer see when I got home last night, I didn’t know what I’d done, did I? So when Tiger put this dinner in front of me I thought he was being all lovey-dovey. “I’ve saved this for yer, petal,” he said. “I hope yer enjoy it as much as me and the kids did.”’ Elsie rolled her eyes and hitched her bosom. ‘I thought my ship had come in, didn’t I? So when I picked up me knife and fork, I was planning in me mind what to do, seeing as he seemed in a good mood. I’d finish me dinner, then sit on his knee, give him a big kiss and stroke his hair. Then I’d break the news about his shirt.’

  Little Ada Smithson’s eyes and mouth were twitching. ‘I know what’s coming next. Yer couldn’t eat the bleedin’ dinner ’cos yer’d ruined it.’

  Elsie rested her soulful eyes on each of them for a second. Then in a dramatic voice that would have done credit to Bette Davis, she said, ‘If I never move from this chair, I sat there and stuffed mouthful after mouthful in me gob. I could feel my feller’s eyes on me and I tried to look as though I was enjoying it. But halfway through I had to give up. I looked at him and asked if this was his idea of a joke. Then of course, I got the lot thrown at me. I can’t tell yer what he said because the air was blue. So suffice to say my dear husband was not in the least amused.’ She looked at Peg with a haughty expression. ‘Yer see, queen, ye’re not the only one what knows big words. So if yer ever do get a job in Cooper’s, yer can always put in a good word for yer best mate. And don’t forget to tell them I’m house-trained.’

  ‘I wish yer’d finish what yer started, Elsie.’ Billy hated missing out on anything. ‘What did your feller say about his shirt?’