Stay as Sweet as You Are

by Joan Jonker

  ‘I’ll tell yer what Mr Titch said, Mrs Aggie.’ The rocking chair wasn’t made for two people and when Lucy turned she could feel her bottom slipping off the seat. So she held on to Aggie’s arm for safety. ‘He said he was going to take me back to the ship with him and hide me in one of the lifeboats until the ship was hundreds of miles out at sea. He’d bring me food every day, of course, and make sure I was warm enough. Then when we were that far out the skipper couldn’t turn back, Mr Titch would pretend he’d found a stowaway.’

  ‘Well, I never!’ Aggie’s eyes were wide. ‘He told yer all that in a couple of minutes? He’s a fast talker, is my son.’

  ‘Yer’ve got to be fast these days, Ma,’ Titch said. ‘All the prettiest girls get snapped up in no time. If I don’t watch out I’ll be left on the shelf.’

  ‘And what did yer tell him, queen?’

  Lucy giggled. ‘I told him I would give it serious consideration.’

  ‘Well, now yer’ve had time for this serious consideration, queen, thank him for his kind offer, but say that unfortunately yer’ll have to decline. If he wants to know why, tell him yer have too many friends here who wouldn’t be without yer.’

  Lucy played her part well. With a hand over her heart, she said, ‘But he’ll be broken-hearted, Mrs Aggie.’

  ‘He’ll get over it, queen. I mean, he can always give Irene a kiss if he’s feeling lonely. That’s as long as George doesn’t catch him at it.’

  ‘Ay, hang about, Aggie!’ Irene said. ‘If any of the neighbours heard yer say that, they’d think there was something going on between me and Titch.’

  Titch chuckled. ‘I should be so lucky.’

  ‘Sod the neighbours, Irene, they shouldn’t be so bleedin’ bad-minded.’ Aggie thought it was time to throw another name into the pot. ‘Anyway, ye’re not the only one me son has taken to kissing. Olive’s on his list now, as well.’

  ‘Go ’way!’ This wasn’t news to Irene, but she pretended it was. ‘Well, you fickle thing, Titch McBride. Here’s me thinking I was yer one and only.’

  ‘And I thought yer were waiting for me to grow up.’ Lucy put a sob in her voice. ‘Ye’re a flirt, Mr Titch.’

  ‘Oh dear, I’m in the doghouse now.’ Titch sat down and held his head in his hands. ‘I can see I’m better to conduct me love-life in another country. The girl in Rotterdam, now she’s a nice quiet little thing – I wouldn’t get any trouble from her. Or there’s Anna, a beautiful Chinese girl. And I mustn’t forget my French girlfriend, Giselle. Now there’s a beauty if ever there was one.’

  ‘Don’t yer be bringing no foreign girls to this house, me lad. I’m too old to be learning to speak Chinese or bleedin’ French.’

  ‘Yer’d have no trouble with the Dutch girl, though, Ma, ’cos yer speak double Dutch all the time. Yer’d get on like a house on fire with Bertha.’

  ‘Listen to me, buggerlugs, there’s enough English girls around for yer to choose from.’ Aggie was really enjoying herself. And part of her enjoyment came from seeing a genuine smile on Lucy’s face. ‘If yer can’t find one of yer own kind to marry, then all I can say is ye’re too bleedin’ hard to please and yer deserve to stay a bachelor for the rest of yer life.’

  ‘See what yer’ve started, Lucy?’ Irene asked, her face straight. ‘If yer’d told Titch right away that yer didn’t want to be a stowaway, none of this would have happened.’

  ‘It’s been funny, though, hasn’t it, Mrs Pollard? Especially the part about Mr Titch and his girlfriends.’

  ‘Yes, it has, sunshine. But I’d better get home and put the dinner on. My feller won’t see the funny side if his meal’s not ready for him. He says he’s got no sense of humour when his tummy’s empty.’ Irene waved goodbye. ‘I’ll see you folks later.’

  Lucy slipped from the chair. ‘I’d better go as well.’

  ‘Hang on for a few minutes, sweetheart, while I tell yer what we’ve got planned for Saturday night. Then yer’ll have something to look forward to.’

  Aggie patted the chair. ‘Sit down again, queen.’

  Lucy was wide-eyed as Titch’s plan unfolded. ‘We’re all going to the pictures, first house. That’s me ma, Irene and the two boys, Olive and Steve and yerself. And after the pictures, the grown ups are going to the corner pub for a drink, while you youngsters can amuse yerselves playing cards in the Pollards’ house. I saw yer dad this morning before he went to work to make sure it was all right with him.’

  ‘It sounds wonderful, Mr Titch, I really will look forward to it.’ There was mischief in Lucy’s eyes. ‘Can I just say that no matter how beautiful yer Dutch and Chinese girlfriends are, they can’t have yer. I mean, how could yer take us to the pictures if yer were living in China? Yer couldn’t travel on the twenty-two tram, ’cos it doesn’t go any further than the Pier Head terminus.’

  ‘D’yer know, sweetheart, I hadn’t thought of that. Oh well, I’ll have to say goodbye to Anna, Bertha and Giselle. They were nice while they lasted, but they’ll have to go.’

  ‘D’yer see how fickle he is, Lucy? Now he won’t marry anyone who doesn’t live on the twenty-two tram route. That narrows the field down to about ten thousand.’

  When Lucy had left, Titch kept looking at his mother. Then he finally plucked up the courage to ask, ‘Why did yer mention me kissing Olive, Ma?’

  ‘Did I do wrong, son?’ Aggie looked the picture of innocence. ‘I wasn’t to know yer wanted to keep it a secret.’

  ‘It’s not a secret, Ma, I just wondered why yer mentioned it.’

  ‘Well, I said yer kiss Irene, so what’s the difference? After all, they’re both just good friends so there’s no harm in yer kissing them. Is there?’

  ‘No harm at all. As yer say, they’re both just good friends.’

  ‘Now I’ve got a question for you, son. Who the hell are these girls yer mentioned? This Anna, Bertha and Giselle? I always thought a giselle was an animal.’

  ‘A gazelle is an animal, Ma. And the three girls I mentioned don’t exist. I picked their names out of thin air. So does that answer yer question?’

  ‘I’ll mull that over in me head, son, while I’m seeing to something to eat. I’ll come back to yer if I find yer answer unsatisfactory.’

  ‘You do that, Ma,’ Titch laughed. ‘While ye’re at it, I’ll think up another three answers to be on the safe side. Then yer can pick which one yer find acceptable.’

  Titch walked ahead with the youngsters while the three women walked behind. He had hold of Lucy’s hand as she walked between him and Steve – an arrangement that didn’t suit Jack one little bit. ‘What are yer walking on the outside for, Steve? Yer should be with me and Greg. All boys together, like.’

  ‘I like walking beside Lucy, she’s prettier than you and Greg.’ Steve glanced along the line, a smile on his lips. ‘Yer don’t mind, do yer?’

  ‘I do, as a matter of fact.’ Jack was wearing a new shirt and trousers, and he strolled along feeling all grown up and a real toff. ‘Ye’re not the only one to appreciate a pretty face, yer know. I mean, even I can see the difference between Lucy and our Greg.’

  ‘Thanks a bunch, our kid.’ Greg looked really put out. ‘If I’m stuck with your ugly mug, it’s only fair you should be stuck with mine.’

  Jack took his hands from his pockets so he could spread them out for effect. ‘Yer see, he admits himself that he’s no oil painting. So come on, swap over.’

  ‘Not on yer life. That’s like expecting someone to swap a bull’s-eye for a slab of Cadbury’s. I’m quite happy here, thank you very much.’

  Ho, ho, thought Titch, there’s rivalry for the fair maiden’s hand. Friendly rivalry at the moment, but would it be so in a couple of years’ time? ‘I hope ye’re not going to come to blows over this. We’re supposed to be out to enjoy ourselves.’

  ‘I’ve got the perfect answer,’ Greg said. ‘And none of yer can say it’s not fair. Let Steve carry on walking with Lucy now, then our Jack can walk beside her on the way home. And as
I’m the one who sorted yer problem out, I get to sit next to her in the pictures.’

  ‘You can go and take a running jump,’ was Jack’s answer to his brother’s solution. ‘And preferably into the River Mersey.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Steve agreed, ‘and without a lifebelt.’

  ‘That’s charming, that is.’ Greg put on a pained expression. ‘Our kid knows I’ve got me best kecks on, and he saw me polishing me shoes until I could see me face in them, yet he wants me to go for a swim and get them all wet. That’s brotherly love for yer. So I’ve decided that if him and Steve want to fight dirty, I’m more than a match for them. When we get to the Astoria, it’s every man for himself.’

  ‘Don’t mind me,’ Lucy said, ‘I’m only here to make the numbers up. I can think for meself, yer know. And I’m sitting next to Mr Titch and Mrs Aggie. So there!’

  Walking between Irene and Olive, her arms linking theirs, Aggie chuckled. ‘Thirteen next week and she’s got three suitors. Not bad going, eh?’

  ‘Our Steve thinks the world of Lucy,’ Olive said. ‘When we were down on our luck, he used to say she was the only one who had time for him.’

  ‘I think our Jack’s got his eyes on her, too. But the one to watch is our Greg. He might be an outsider at the moment, but very often it’s the outsider that wins the race.’

  ‘They’re young yet. They’ve got years ahead of them before they even think of courting.’ Aggie saw the group outside the picturehouse, and as she quickened her step she noticed the young girl clinging to Titch’s hand. ‘I hope when Lucy starts going out with blokes she doesn’t pick a wrong ’un, like her dad.’

  ‘I’ll go along with yer on that, Aggie,’ Irene said. ‘I vote we form a committee and vet every feller that looks sideways at her.’

  Titch waited for them to catch up before marching in and buying the tickets. He passed the sweet counter because his mother had eight bags of sweets in the large handbag she carried. Mr Whittle from the corner shop had made them up for her with a mixture from the wide selection of jars that lined a shelf in a shop that sold everything from food, to gas mantles, firewood and small bags of coal.

  The first-house performance hadn’t started and the lights were still on when Titch passed the tickets to the usherette. But the performance in the aisle was well in hand. Jack had given Steve the nod, and they frogmarched Lucy down the aisle to a row where there were enough empty seats for them all. And when Titch turned around with the torn tickets in his hand, it was to see Lucy sat between the two boys, giggling her head off. So he now had to manoeuvre himself into the position he wanted. ‘Greg, you go in and sit next to Jack. Ma, you go next.’ Then, horror of horrors, Olive followed Aggie and then Irene pushed herself past him. He was left standing at the end of the row with his plans lying in shreds at his feet. ‘Blow that for a lark,’ he muttered. ‘The kids have got more nous than I have.’

  Aggie noticed his predicament and chuckled softly. ‘What are yer standing there for, son? The lights will be going down in a minute and yer might find yerself sitting next to a strange woman. It does happen, yer know, there’s some queer folk around.’

  It was the opening Titch needed. ‘In that case I’m not sitting at the end. Irene, let me get between you and Olive, before some strange woman tries to take advantage of me.’

  So it ended up with everybody being pleased with the seating arrangement, except Greg. He was plotting his revenge when the lights went down, but he put his thoughts to one side for the time being while laughing loudly at the antics of Charlie Chase. The big picture was Annie Oakley, a Western with Barbara Stanwyck. And while the boy watched open-mouthed as guns blared and there were dead bodies everywhere, he forgot the girl called Lucy Mellor who was being plied with sweets from both sides, even though she had a bag of her own on her lap.

  Aggie was nearly cross-eyed as she tried to watch the film without missing anything that went on beside her. Not that there was anything going on. Olive was sitting as stiff as a board with her hands clasped on her knee, while Titch sat with his arms folded staring at the screen as though he’d never seen such an exciting film. He’s too bleeding slow to catch cold, Aggie thought. I bet he’s late for his own ruddy funeral.

  Meanwhile, Titch was quite content with the way things were going. Last time he was on leave, four months ago, Olive had said she would never marry again because there’d never be anyone to come up to Jim. It hadn’t bothered Titch at the time because although he knew he was attracted to her, he thought it was friendly affection and didn’t amount to anything more serious. But the whole time he was away, she was never far from his mind. And when the ship was homeward bound, he found himself counting the days until they sailed into Liverpool. He’d always welcomed the sight of the Liver Birds, but never as much as he had this trip.

  ‘She’s a good actress, isn’t she?’

  Titch blinked rapidly as he turned to Olive. ‘What did yer say, love?’

  ‘I said she’s a good actress, isn’t she?’

  ‘She is that. One of the best.’

  Aggie hadn’t missed a word. ‘She can act all right, but I don’t like her eyes. They’re too close together for my liking and she’s always got them screwed up.’

  Olive and Titch looked at each other and laughed. ‘Ye’re there, are yer, Ma?’

  ‘Of course I’m here, yer daft nit. Didn’t yer see me coming in with yer?’

  Irene leaned across Titch to say softly, ‘For the money she’s getting, Aggie, I’d screw me eyes up too, if that’s what they wanted.’

  Greg flopped back heavily in his seat. ‘I wish yer’d all shut up, I can’t hear what they’re saying. I’ve a good mind to go and ask for me money back.’

  ‘It wasn’t your money,’ Jack hissed. ‘It was Mr Titch what paid.’

  A man sitting behind Greg tapped him on the shoulder. ‘Do us all a favour. Go and get yer money back and toddle off home. Then perhaps the rest of us can enjoy the film.’

  Lucy’s giggle brought a loud tut-tut from the man’s wife. ‘I think some people only come to the pictures to stop others enjoying themselves. For two pins I’d call the manager and have them put out.’

  Greg slid down in his seat and there wasn’t a peep from him until the lights went up.

  Ruby left the house at seven o’clock, while Bob was upstairs getting changed. She’d decided to leave early so she could meet Wally on his way to the pub. It was too dangerous to slip him a piece of paper while they were sitting with Jessie and the gang. Especially when she knew full well Jessie’s husband didn’t like her and was only looking for an excuse to tell her to get lost. He’d made it quite clear he didn’t approve of married women being in pubs without their husbands and she didn’t want to upset the apple-cart.

  Ruby didn’t know where Wally lived, but she knew the direction he came from. So she walked past the pub, crossed a few side streets, then took shelter in a shop doorway. There was no fear of bumping into the Armitages or the Bowlers because they got to the pub very early to get decent seats.

  Wally’s expression changed three times in as many seconds when Ruby stepped out of the shop doorway into his path. Shock registered first, then annoyance, followed by slyness. ‘What on earth are you doing here?’ he asked.

  ‘I thought it would be safer this way. We can’t make proper arrangements for next week with the others looking on.’

  Wally’s mind was working overtime. ‘I don’t live far from here – just two streets away, actually. Would yer like to come and see my house, seeing as we’re so near?’

  ‘The others might think it’s queer if we’re both late.’

  ‘We won’t be late. Ten minutes is all it’ll take to show yer where I live. Then you can go to the pub and I’ll follow five minutes later. They won’t think anything of it.’

  ‘What about yer neighbours?’

  ‘They don’t bother me and I don’t bother them. Besides, they don’t know you, so why get all het up about it?’

  �
�It’s your good name I’m thinking of.’

  Wally grinned. ‘What makes yer think I’ve got a good name? Come on, we’re only wasting time standing here.’

  Ruby kept her eyes lowered until she was standing in the hallway of the small two-up two-down house. ‘I felt as though I was running the gauntlet.’

  Wally didn’t tell her the neighbours were so used to him bringing women home they wouldn’t give it a second thought. Cupping her elbow he ushered her through to the living room. ‘Just a quick look around then we’ll go.’

  Ruby’s face showed her surprise. The room was spotless and very comfortably furnished. ‘You don’t clean this place yerself, do yer?’

  ‘No, I have a woman comes once a week and cleans it right through. And seeing as there’s only me, and I’m a tidy person, the place doesn’t get untidy or dirty.’

  ‘Yer’ve got a nice home, it’s a credit to yer.’

  Wally led her through to the well-fitted kitchen where, once again, everything was clean and in its right place. ‘Now a quick look upstairs and then yer can make yer way to the pub.’

  The two bedrooms each held a double bed, covered with expensive eiderdowns. And the wardrobes and dressing tables were of good quality. ‘I think yer’ve got a very nice home, Wally,’ Ruby said as she made her way down the stairs. ‘Ye’re better off than most people.’

  She didn’t go back into the living room, but went towards the front door. ‘I’ll be on me way and see yer later.’

  Wally put his hand on the door to stop her from opening it. ‘Yer haven’t told me what’s happening next week.’

  ‘D’yer know, I’d forget me head if it was loose.’ Ruby brought a piece of paper out of her pocket. ‘Here, yer can read it for yerself.’

  Wally’s eyes scanned the note. Monday, around ten, number painted on yard door. He folded the paper and handed it back to her. ‘I’ve got a better idea, and we wouldn’t be on pins in case yer daughter woke up and caught us. You come here instead of me coming to you. We could enjoy ourselves without worrying about being heard or seen.’ He saw the indecision on Ruby’s face and coaxed, ‘Come on, love, yer must admit it would be a hundred times better. I don’t want to have our first taste of intimacy ruined by worrying about whether yer daughter’s going to walk in on us. I’m not one of these blokes who’s satisfied with a quickie down an entry. I want to take me time and show yer what it’s like to be really loved.’