“I don’t want you to.”
“Oh, really? Whatever you want, babe.” I ease myself into her and let her get used to the feeling before I started to move. She is so tight and having sex without a condom on is still new to me, not to mention all the foreplay. I give myself about five minutes before I am ready to blow. She has her arms wrapped around me and her nails are digging into my back, and I love it. I can tell she is close and that’s good. “Baby, I know you’re close. Your tight little pussy is squeezing my dick and it feels so good.”
“Oh, god!”
“Fuck, Maddy!” We come apart together, and it just shows how in sync we really are. I don’t think I could ever have enough of her. She is so amazing. I move up to place a kiss on her lips, wrap my arms around her and we fall asleep.
Madison
I never thought I’d enjoy sex this much, but Carter makes it amazing. I wake up before him and take advantage of being able to watch him sleep. He really is gorgeous and he treats me like a princess.
Most little girls grow up wanting to be a princess. I grew up just wanting to be loved. Carter gave me that and so much more. I feel so safe with him, even after everything that has happened. I think about Chris every day. I am terrified he’ll show up and wreak havoc on my life. I think I am more scared for Carter than I am for myself. I try to relax. I didn’t want my past to affect my present or my future anymore. I feel Carter’s arms tighten around me. I look down and see him watching me.
“Hey, what were you doing? You seemed like you were in another world.”
“I was just thinking about how amazing you are and how much I love you.”
He smiles. “Well, don’t stop on my account.”
I laugh, I don’t think anyone has ever made me laugh as much as he does. No one has ever made me as happy as he does, either. “When do you want to go to your dad’s?”
“That’s up to you, baby. What time is it?”
“It’s around eleven.” I am really excited to see Carter’s family again. “I’m good to go when you are. Did you wrap their presents, or do you need help?”
“I didn’t get them anything.”
I shoot up in bed. I can’t believe him! “Why not? That’s horrible! I don’t want to show up empty-handed! We need to figure something out! CVS and Walgreens are open twenty-four hours. Let’s go!”
I jump up and start to get dressed. I can’t believe I didn’t think to ask him before. I thought he would have it handled, though. Ugh! Men! I look over and he is just sitting up in bed, laughing at me. I walk over and put my hands on my hips, which was girl code for ‘I’m pissed.’ “Why are you laughing at me, Carter?”
He pulls me down onto the bed and moves on top of me. “You are so damn adorable.” He leans down and kisses me. “Come on. Let’s go shopping.” He gets up and starts to get dressed. I prop myself up on my elbows and watch him. He turns around, sees me, and gives me one of those smiles that could melt my insides. “Enjoying the view?”
“Very much.” I get up, finish getting ready and we get in the car.
Carter
I can’t believe she wanted to go buy gifts for my family. She is always so caring and thoughtful.
“Shit, Carter, I just remembered I’m broke. Maybe I can make your family coupon books too.”
I have to laugh out loud at that. “As much as I’m sure Anthony would love that, I’ll pay for the gifts.” I see her smile fade. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I hate that you always need to pay for me. I don’t want to be a burden. I mean, I’m living in your house, you’re paying all the bills, and you buy all the food. You got me this amazing Christmas present, and all I got you were some scraps of paper. Not to mention that you paid for that paper too!”
I love taking care of her and it makes me feel good to know I have the means to. However, I understand where she is coming from. “If you want to start giving me money when you get paid, that’s fine. I like being able to take care of you, though. You’ve been on your own your whole life and it makes me feel good to be able to do things for you.” She smiles and looks up at me. “Although, if you want to repay me, I’m sure I could think of a couple different ways.”
Her mouth drops open and I wink at her. “Carter James!” She punches me in the arm. “I’m telling your father.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure he’ll just be happy that I’m finally getting some. Four months is a record for me, baby.”
We spend over an hour shopping. Maddy drives herself crazy picking out gifts for my family. On the drive there, I am happy to see that she is finally exploring her phone.
She is so nervous when we get to the house, I grab her hand and we go in together. When we walk in, everyone is in the living room. Maddy walks in and gives everyone a hug but, in my opinion, Anthony hugs her a little too long. Then, they all notice the gifts in my hand.
My dad looks the most shocked. “Carter, what is all that?”
I laugh. “Don’t look at me. I got scolded this morning for not having presents to bring. She made me take her to two different stores so she could get stuff.” I see Maddy blush.
My dad turns to her. “Well, that was really nice, sweetheart.” He gives her another hug and then sits down.
“Hell, yes!” Anthony yells. He picks her up and spins her around while she squeals.
Holly looks at her and smiles. “Thanks, Maddy!”
“I was happy to do it! I just hope you guys like everything.” She is as red as a tomato, but she is still so beautiful. She comes over to me and starts to hand out gifts.
Holly is first. Maddy got her a pink hat, glove and scarf set. “This is great, girl! I love it!”
Anthony is next. Maddy had gotten him a new phone case. “This is perfect! Thanks, sis!”
I see Maddy’s face when he calls her “sis,” and she looks like she might cry. I know how much the fact that my family embraced her means.
My dad is last. She got him a new docking station so he can listen to music at work, because she heard me talking to him about how his old one broke. The other thing she got him was a roll of duct tape. I asked her why, and she said it was an inside joke. He looks up at her and I can tell he doesn’t get it either.
“Well, last time I was here, we were talking about how great Carter, Holly, and Anthony had turned out. You’d said that you were proud of all of them, even though sometimes you wished you could duct tape Anthony’s mouth closed.”
Everyone starts hysterically laughing. It is great to see my family so happy and to know that it was because of the girl I love. Maddy is going to make dinner tonight, just like on Thanksgiving, but Holly offered to help this time.
We go into my room to put our bags away. Once I close the door, Maddy throws herself at me. I am so surprised that I drop the bags. She kisses me, but it isn’t one of those ‘I wanna rip your clothes off kisses.’ It was a ‘let me show you how much I love you’ kiss. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”
“I love you so much, Carter. Thank you so much for everything you do for me, and for making me a part of your family.”
“It’s my pleasure, baby.” I give her another kiss.
Chapter Twenty Six
Madison
Holly and I are cooking while the boys are watching the football game.
“Hey, Mads?” I stop peeling the potatoes and turn around to look at her. She stops cutting the vegetables and looks at me.
“Yeah?” I wonder what she wants to talk to me about. Holly is nice, although we really only spent time together that one day shopping. Let’s be honest, heart-to-hearts don’t really happen in the mall.
“I just wanted to tell you thank you.”
I hope she isn’t talking about the presents again. I still can’t believe Carter didn’t plan on getting his family anything for Christmas. “For what?”
“For making my brother so happy. After Mom died, Carter kind of shut down. He never considered being serious with anyone because I think he was scare
d they’d leave him like she did.”
I see tears building in her eyes. Please don’t cry. I’m a baby and it doesn’t take a lot to get me there.
“The only time he ever came close was with this girl, Alyssa, senior year and she was a nasty bitch.” Holly scrunches up her face and we both laugh. “She only lasted a week, though, thank God!”
Now she sparked my interest. “Why? What happened?”
“He caught her giving the quarterback a blow job in the locker room.” I choke on the water I am drinking. OH MY GOD! “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve never seen him happier. You’re the cause of it and I’m so grateful to you for that.” I walk over to her and hug her, then the water works start for both of us.
We don’t even hear Anthony walk into the kitchen. “Hell, yes! Girl-on-girl! But, can I call someone to take Holly’s place ‘cause she’s my sister?”
I pick up one of the cooked potatoes and throw it at him. It hits him in the face and splatters everywhere. The look on his face is hilarious. Holly and I break into hysterics.
“That was not cool!” he shouts at us while wiping away potato. Just then, Carter and his dad come in, survey the scene, and start laughing. “Carter, where did your girl get such good aim? I need to go take a shower now.” Anthony walks back to the bathroom while we are all still laughing.
Carter walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me. “I love hearing him say my girl,” he whispers in my ear.
My whole body is on high alert now. I lean back and give him a kiss. “Well, your girl needs to get back to cooking. Would you mind cleaning up that potato?”
“Sure, baby.” He kisses me and then grabs the paper towels. Holly and I have a great time cooking together. She is telling me that her and her friend, Christen, got early acceptance to Duke. I am excited that she’ll be there with us next year.
Dinner is really good, and Carter says he and Anthony will clean up. After they are done, we say our good nights and go to hang out in his room. We watch a movie. This time, I let Carter choose it. He picks ‘The Exorcist’ and I am pretty sure that it is just because he wants me to cuddle up with him. He doesn’t need a scary movie for that, though.
After the movie, he turns to me and laughs at the horrified expression on my face. He leans down and kisses me, the kind of kiss in which I feel all of his passion. I could lose myself in Carter so easily, and I really want to. I can’t, though...not here and not with all of his family home. He moves his hand up my side and over my breast. I can tell where this was going and it was getting there fast. “Carter, stop.” He looked at me and seemed worried.
“I don’t want to do this here. Your family is home and I’m not comfortable.”
“Babe, it’s okay. My dad doesn’t care.” He leaned down to kiss me again, but I moved my head to the side.
“Well, I do.” I felt horrible. I couldn’t get over feeling that this was wrong.
I could see he was disappointed and I hated that I was the one who did it. “Okay, okay.” He put his hand up in surrender. “I love you, Maddy. Goodnight.” He lies back and pulls me to his side.
“I love you too.”
* * *
Carter wants to show me around today and the first stop is the coffee shop he always went to. When we walk in, I take a look around. It is really cute. There are a couple of booths and tables, and there is soft music playing in the background. Carter has his arm around me. I love how he is always touching me. If he didn’t have his arm around me, his hand would be on my back or interlaced with my hand.
This is just another way that he makes me feel so safe and wanted. I can’t help but notice the blonde behind the counter giving me dirty looks. What the hell was her problem? Carter hadn’t noticed her yet.
When it is our turn to order, the blonde looks him up and down. “Carter James, where have you been hiding?”
He looks up and I see recognition and surprise in his eyes. “Alyssa?”
The bitch whore who cheated on him, Alyssa? I take a better look at her, her blonde hair reaches down to about the middle of her back, her clothes look expensive and her boobs are about to pop out of her shirt.
“How have you been, Carter?” She still has yet to acknowledge my presence, except for the dirty looks she was giving me earlier.
“I…uh…I’ve been good.” Jesus, Carter, talk much?!
“That’s good! I hear you are at Duke. I’m transferring there this semester.” WHAT? Kill me now.
“You are?” I shift beside him, completely uncomfortable with this whole situation. He looks over at me. “This is my girlfriend, Madison.”
“Hi.” I might as well try to be nice, even if she is a witch.
She turns my way and gives me a fake smile, then goes right back to Carter. Bitch whore. “Girlfriend? I never thought that would happen!”
Carter turns to me. “What do you want, babe?”
Her head on a stick, preferably a really sharp one. “Can I get a medium caramel coffee with cream and sugar?”
Once again, this bitch whore pretends like I’m not even there. “What can I get you, Carter?” I can definitely see the hidden message there.
“I’ll just have a large coffee with cream and sugar. Also, a couple pieces of the lemon pound cake.”
We get our stuff and go to sit down at one of the booths. “So that was a little awkward, huh?”
“Just a little.”
He turns to face me. “I should probably tell you how I know her.”
No, thanks. I don’t need to hear that story again. “It’s okay, I already know. Holly told me all about her yesterday.”
He grabs my hand and gives me a quick kiss. “Hey, don’t let her ruin our day.” He leans in to kiss me again and lingers a little longer than he did before. When I pull back, I see that Alyssa is watching us. Take that, bitch whore, he’s mine.
After coffee, Carter takes me to see his old school and there is a playground next to it. We play around on the swings and slide, and Carter makes fun of how I can’t make it all the way across on the monkey bars. When we are leaving, I run up behind him, jump on his back, and he carries me back to his car like that. When we get in, I turn to him. “Thank you so much for today, Carter. I’ve never been to the playground, and I’ve never had so much fun in my life.”
“You’ve never been to a playground?”
“No.” I can feel myself starting to give in to a memory. It feels like a mix of anxiety and fear gripping at my throat. I haven’t had an episode in such a long time. No, not right now.
My father is sitting in the living room watching TV. “Daddy, can you take me to the park?” All the other kids in school always talk about the park, but I never go. I just want to be like the other kids. “Daddy?”
He takes another drink and then he looks down at me. “Your mother could have taken you to the park, but you killed her.”
NO! I didn’t kill Mommy. A guy who was drinking did. Daddy drinks a lot and it scares me. “Daddy, please! I didn’t kill Mommy! I loved her!”
His hand hits my face and I fall down. “Get away from me. I can’t stand the sight of you.”
“Maddy!” Carter is shaking me and the look in his face is one of fear. I realize I have tears streaming down my face. He pulls me against him and starts stroking my hair. He pulls back and looks at my face. “What just happened?”
“I’m sorry. It was just a bad memory.”
“Was it about Chris?”
“No, my father.”
“Would you tell me about it, please?” I’ve never talked to anyone about my dad, but Carter makes me feel like I can tell him anything. After I tell him, he pulls me to him and we stay like this for a while. “You know that none of that was your fault, right?”
“For the longest time I didn’t, but I do now.”
Chapter Twenty Seven
Carter
This day is not going like I planned. First, Alyssa was at the coffee shop. I still can’t believe she
is coming to Duke. I could tell Maddy was uncomfortable with the situation.
Then, the memory of her dad came after I’d cheered her up. I hate him for what he did to her, and I hate how much hurt she’s experienced in her life.
I take Maddy to one of my favorite seafood restaurants to try to salvage the day. I see her looking at the menu with a strange look on her face. It’s the one she makes when she doesn’t know what to do, but is too shy to ask. “What’s wrong?”
She looks up at me, with surprise. “How do you always know what I’m thinking, or when something is wrong?”
“Because I’m in love with you. It’s my job to know what you like and what you don’t. To understand what makes you uncomfortable and know how to fix it. I know what’s going on in your head before you even say it and what you need before you even tell me. You think you’re a burden to me, but you’re not. You’re everything. Now, what’s wrong, babe?”
Her smile is so big that I actually think her cheeks might crack. I love that I have the ability to put that smile on her face, and I make it my mission to make it happen more often. “That was probably one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard. I love you so much, Carter. To answer your original question, though, I’ve never been at a restaurant like this before and I have no idea what to order.”
I forgot how little she’s experienced. It makes me so mad to think about how shitty her life has been. She deserves everything, but has absolutely nothing. She never even got to enjoy most of the basic experiences normal people did, because no one ever cared enough to give them to her.
That is in the past, though, and I am going to enjoy giving her all these new experiences. “I do believe this will be yet another first that belongs to me, then. If you want, I can order for you. I think I know what you like.” I smile at her and give her a wink, letting her know what else I am thinking of. I hate that she put a stop to sex while we are here, but I love her reason behind it.
She blushes that beautiful shade she does. “You definitely know what I like, Mr. James.”
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