Crashing Down

by Cathryn Fox

  An angered look moved over his face as he glanced past her shoulders to see Noah in her bed. “I think I should be the one asking that question.”

  “I…we…”

  “So this is the reason you don’t answer my calls anymore?”

  “I was going to call you today,” she said feebly, hearing Noah rustling behind her.

  He came up beside her and held his hand out. “I’m Noah,” he said introducing himself to her father.

  Her father looked at Noah’s work clothes, then back at Kathryn. Anger turned to disappointment, and it cut Kathryn like a knife. “Pack your bags, Kathryn. You’ve been here long enough to fulfill your scholarship requirements, but now I believe it’s time to leave.”

  “No.” She stood firm. “I’m not leaving.”

  “Kathryn,” he warned. “It’s clear that this wasn’t the best placement for you this summer.”

  “Yes, it was. I learned so much about myself this summer.”

  Ignoring her, he said, “Next year you’ll take an internship in my office.”

  “No, Dad, please listen.”

  He folded his arms, and when Noah put his hand on her shoulder for moral support, her father glared at him.

  She reached her hand up and laid it over Noah’s, a united force. “I don’t want to work for your firm. I don’t want a business degree.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I want to paint. I want to be a muralist. I even got a job when I was here, and Noah—”

  “And Noah’s responsible for all this I take it.” He looked at Noah, his gaze moving over his green resort shirt with a mixture of disdain and disapproval. “What do you do Noah?”

  “I work here.”

  “What do you do here?”

  “I’m a ski instructor, and white water rafting guide.”

  “And someone with those types of life’s ambition knows what’s best for my Kathryn?”

  Anger moved through Kathryn as he insulted Noah. “Stop it,” she said.

  “No it’s okay, Kat,” Noah said. He stared at her father. “He’s right. Maybe I don’t know, but maybe your daughter does. Why don’t you listen to what she has to say?”

  Her father turned to her and she said, “I don’t want to go back to business school.”

  “You’ll lose your scholarship.”

  “Maybe they’ll let me change disciplines.”

  “Kathryn, you have no idea what you’re doing.”

  “Maybe, maybe not,” she said, her voice strong and firm.

  “You’re making reckless choices.”

  “Maybe I am, but they’re my choices.” She pressed her hand to her chest, her calm slipping. “Don’t you see, Dad? After Mom died, I wanted nothing more than to please you. I wanted to make you happy, to see you smile again. But the more you smiled, the less I did. I wanted to try to live the life you wanted me to, I really did.” She held her arms out, laying her soul on the line. “But I was—am— miserable, completely and utterly miserable inside. You were so focused on me coming to work with you, that you didn’t see it.”

  He jerked back and looked at her like she’d just slapped him across the face. Deep sadness moved into his eyes, and for a minute he looked like he was a million miles away. Looking lost, hurt, and deeply, deeply pained he turned from her, and without saying a word, he walked away.

  Kathryn stood there, the look on his face tearing her up inside. Her eyes filled with water. She’d never meant to hurt him. She’d only wanted him to see her for who she was. “Oh, God, Noah, what have I done?”

  He put his arms around her and drew her into him. She pressed her face into his chest as he stroked her hair. “Maybe he just needs time to deal with this.”

  Her body began to tremble, her throat so tight it was difficult to speak. “I have to go after him. I have to make this right.”

  “I think you both need time to cool down. You’re in no shape to talk to him right now.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt him.” Noah wiped the tears from her face. “Did you see how sad he was? Oh, God, Noah, I feel so bad.”

  “Come on, sit down for a minute. I’ll get you a drink of water.”

  He guided her to the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. As she listened to the water run, fear invaded her gut, and she knew she had to go after him. She bolted from the room, tears blurring her vision as she raced to the main lodge.

  She rushed inside and frantically glanced around, trying to figure out where her father could have gone.

  “Kat,” Noah called out, pushing through the front doors.

  Amy looked at her from behind the counter, concern in her eyes as Jared came from his office to see what all the commotion was about.

  Noah caught up to her. “Kat, come on. You need to calm down.”

  Just then a guy Kat didn’t recognize came through the front doors behind Noah.

  “Well, well,” he said grinning. “What do we have here?”

  Noah held his hand out. “Luke, back the fuck off. Now’s not the time for this.”

  The commotion drew both Shannon and Donald from their respective offices. Shannon had a strained smile on her face, and Donald glared at Noah like whatever was going on was his fault.

  “And here I thought it was the perfect time for this,” Luke responded.

  “What’s going on?” Kathryn asked, her glance going from Noah to Luke and back to Noah again. She spotted Jared talking to Amy at the front counter, and when she saw the look of horror on Amy’s face a very bad feeling blossomed inside her.

  Luke held his keys out and dangled them. “Looks like you’re the proud owner of a Porsche, after all.”

  “I don’t want your car,” Noah bit out. “Just back the fuck off Luke and we’ll talk about this later.”

  “Talk about what later?” Kathryn asked, but they both ignored her.

  “Come on, you know you want it. You won it fair and square. Besides, that car’s a piece of shit, and I wanted a new one anyway.”

  Kathryn had no idea what was going on. “You won his Porsche?”

  “No,” Noah said.

  Luke laughed. “He sure did.”

  “What’s going on Noah? How did you win his Porsche?”

  Noah stepped between her and Luke, his voice low, dangerous when he said, “It’s not what you think, Luke.”

  “Sure it is. I can tell by looking at her. She’s far from the same all-work-and-no-play girl that came here a few months ago.” He laughed. “I told you, one summer banging you, and she’d come out the other end just as fucked up.” He turned to Kathryn. “You were nothing but a bet, sweetheart.”

  “Why are you doing this?” Noah growled.

  “Because I never liked you. Because you think you can have any girl you want. Well guess what, it doesn’t look like you can anymore.” Luke looked over Noah’s shoulders at Kathryn. “Looks like your little Kat is about to stop purring for you.”

  “You fucking bastard. You set this all up on purpose, just to fuck me over.”

  Looking cocky, Luke said, “Actually, I think it was your idea.”

  Before anyone could stop it, Noah drew back and slammed his fist in Luke’s face. Kathryn shrieked and Donald came running over, putting himself between Noah and Luke.

  “That’s it, Noah,” Donald said. “That’s the last straw. Pack your bags. You’re out of here.”

  Kathryn backed up, her hand covering her mouth. She needed to run, to get as far away as possible from Noah as her entire world crashed down on her.

  “Kat, wait,” Noah said. He made a move toward her but Donald grabbed him by the arm. He shoved Donald off and cupped his hands around her shoulders.

  She looked up at him, tears burning her eyes. “Noah, is this true?” she asked, her voice as shaky as her hands.

  “Of course it’s true,” Luke said as he climbed from the floor, rubbing his jaw. “If he could get you in his bed, he won my car.”

  “Noah, please tell me it’s no
t true,” she said hysteria rising inside her.

  “Just let me explain.”

  His words, or lack thereof, slammed through her like a physical blow. “Oh God, it is true.” She pulled away from him and hugged herself. “So that’s why you went after me. I was nothing but a bet.” She ran her hands through her hair, pushing it from her face as tears spilled down her cheeks. “I should have known. Guys like you don’t go for girls like me.”

  “Kat, you’ve got it all wrong. Please let me explain.”

  She swallowed hard. “So tell me, was having sex with me in the Porsche some kind of twisted victory for you?”

  “Don’t say that.” He gave a hard shake of his head. “It was never just sex with you,” he said, his voice thick with emotions. “You know that. Tell me you know that, Kat.”

  “I don’t know anything anymore.” Humiliation moved through her to think she’d been ready to throw it all away because she thought Noah believed in her. But she was nothing to him but a bet. Christ, wasn’t losing her virginity…her heart…in one summer enough. Now she stood to lose her father, her job, her scholarship. Everything.

  When she saw all eyes on here, including her father’s, her stomach roiled. She clasped her hand over her mouth. “I’m going to be sick.”

  Shannon frowned. “Kathryn, in my office now.”

  Kathryn pushed past her, and bolted toward the main door, unable to fight back the stinging tears.

  “Pack your bags, Kathryn,” her father called after her.

  “Kat, wait. Don’t do it. You might hate me, but you can’t go back to that life, pretending to be something you’re not.”

  She spun around, and glared at him. “You’re one to talk. You of all people have no right to talk to me about pretending. Just take a look at yourself, Noah,” she spat out. “Look at what you’ve become. You’re the last person who should be lecturing me on pretending.”

  Haunted eyes met hers. “You’re right.”

  “Yeah, I am right,” she said. “And stay out of my life. I don’t ever want to see you again.” As she pushed through the door, she took one last glimpse over her shoulder and caught Noah walking toward her father.

  She rushed outside and hurried to her room. She grabbed her suitcase and started throwing her clothes in it, having no idea what to do next.

  “Kat,” a quiet voice said at her door.

  The second she set sights on Amy, she burst into tears. She dropped onto her mattress, bawling like a baby.

  “Hey,” Amy said, sitting on the bed next to her. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. Jared never said a thing.”

  “So he knew, too? How humiliating.”

  “Yeah,” she said quietly. She patted Kat’s back and said, “It was a real shitty thing for Noah to do.”

  “Oh, yeah,” she agreed, reaching for a tissue. She blew her nose, her heart aching so badly that her body physically hurt.

  “I’m guessing it’s not something he’d do now, though.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “He’s not the same guy he was a few months ago.”

  “Don’t defend what he did, Amy.”

  “Oh, I’m not. Believe me, I’m not. I plan to give Jared a good reaming when he gets off tonight.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be at work right now, too?”

  She shrugged. “You needed me.” She went quiet for a moment. “So you really told your father that you didn’t want to go back to business school?”

  “Yeah.” She held her stomach. “I feel so bad for hurting him.”

  “I know, but sometimes we have to stand up to our folks and prove we’re adults who can make our own decisions. That took courage, Kat.” A long pause and then, “I guess you’re not the same girl from a few months ago either.”

  “What are you getting at?”

  “I think you and Noah changed each other.”

  “I was a bet!” she cried out.

  “I know, and it was shitty, but I’ve watched you two over the summer. It might have started as a bet for him, but I don’t think it ended as one.”

  Kat jumped up, her emotions in a confused mess as she tossed more clothes into her suitcase.

  “Are you going back?” Amy asked.

  “I don’t know.” She turned to her friend. “I just need to be alone for a little bit.”

  “Okay.” Amy gave her a hug and left her room.

  Kat sat on her bed for what seemed like hours, thinking about what Amy had said. She stood up and paced the floor. She stopped, looked out her window and, feeling claustrophobic in her small room, headed outside. She walked aimlessly, not really knowing or caring where she was going, and was surprised to eventually find herself at the winter maintenance shed where her mural was just about finished. She used the key Noah had given her and let herself in. Heart heavy, she walked down the long hall, and stood before her mural.

  She thought about her father, about Noah, about how much of a mess her life was in and started crying all over again.

  “Kathryn.”

  Shocked, she grasped her chest and spun around to find her father standing there.

  “What…how…?”

  “Noah,” he said. “He brought me here earlier, to show me how talented you were.” He looked at the mural and Kat saw something in his face she’d never seen before. Regret. When he returned his attention to her again, he seemed older, tired. “We had a long talk.”

  Her heart turned over in her chest. “I don’t want to talk about him.”

  Her father walked up to her and she rested her head on his chest as he hugged her. When she caught his warm familiar scent the tears fell harder. “I’m sorry, Dad. I said hurtful things.”

  “No, Kathryn. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

  She lifted her head and sniffed. “What?”

  He exhaled slowly. “After losing you mother I was so worried about losing you too, that I hung on too tight. All I could think about was having you come to work for me. That way I could see you every day, keep you close, keep you protected. Keep you as my little girl. But I smothered you, instead.” He looked past her shoulder. “I didn’t let you blossom the way you needed to. I see that now.”

  “Daddy,” she said, the tears spilling hard. “I’ll always be your little girl.”

  “I love you, Kathryn. I want you to be happy. If this is what makes you happy, then we need to get you switched out of business school.”

  She hugged him tighter. “Really?”

  “Yes, really. And if the scholarship committee doesn’t like it, too bad.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You can thank Noah.”

  She shook her head against his chest. “I don’t ever want to see him again.”

  Her father inched back. “I don’t think you can do that.”

  “Why?”

  He turned her toward her mural. “Because every time you do something like this, you’re going to remember him, remember what he did for you.” She turned back toward him and he cupped her face. “Believe me I’m not very happy with what I overheard, but when I look at this, I can’t help but think you need to talk to him, that there was more going on than a bet.”

  “I…I don’t even know where to find him.”

  “I’m sure you do.” He turned her and pointed her toward the hallway that led to the door. “Now, go before he takes off out of here.”

  As she walked toward the door, her mind raced with this shocking turn of events. She thought about what Amy had said, what her father had said, and all the days and nights she had spent with Noah. She thought about the times he’d come to her rescue, all the times they’d laughed, had fun, had soft and easy, or hard and fast sex well into the early hours of the morning. She thought about the way he touched her, looked at her.

  She thought about the way he’d loved her.

  Oh, God, what if she was too late? Donald had fired hi
m and she’d told him she never wanted to see him again. What if he was already gone?

  She ran back toward her lodge, and burst through the garage doors to find Noah revving Jonny’s bike, the Porsche beside him a painful reminder of how things started between them.

  “Noah,” she said, breathless. “Where are you going?”

  He turned the bike off and pulled off his helmet. “I’m leaving.”

  Her pulse leapt. “Leaving? Where are you going?”

  “Back to see my family and then back to the East Coast…to school.”

  With her emotions in a mess, she struggled for the right words, to tell him how she felt. “I know I told you I never wanted to ever see you again and to stay out of my life…but—”

  “Kat,” he said interrupting her.

  “Yeah?”

  “I wasn’t going to just leave.”

  “No?”

  “No. I was going to find you first.”

  Her heart missed a beat. “You were?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m not leaving here without you.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes. He climbed off the bike and pulled her to him. “You might hate me, Kat, and I don’t blame you, but know this. I’m going to fight for you. I’m never going to stop. I’m not going to lose you.” He went quiet and then placed one hand on her cheek. “I can’t lose you.”

  “Noah,” she choked out. “You…you really hurt me. I trusted you.”

  “I know.” His eyes, a sea of stormy blue, met hers. “I’m an asshole. We already established that, remember?”

  “Noah,” she whispered, remembering all the fun times they’d had.

  His frowned deepened. “I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am.” He stepped closer and she could feel the heat of his body reaching out to her. “I took the bet. It was a prick thing to do and I never should have done it. I never meant to hurt you and when I really got to know you, I wanted to end the bet.” He poked his thumb into his chest. “I’m not that guy anymore, Kat. You’ve changed me, for the better.”

  She nodded, understanding exactly what he was saying. She never would have stood up to her father if it hadn’t been for him. “You’ve changed me, too.”

  Oh, God, she loved him so much that it hurt.

  “I’m in love with you, Kat. And because of you, I’m ready to go back to school, to go back to living.”