This Heart of Mine
Page 35
“Personally, the tomorrow lesson is the one I had the most trouble with, because … it felt like myocarditis stamped an expiration date on my butt.
“I was too scared to count on tomorrow. Not just for me, but for those people who cared about me. Every time I looked at them I knew I was letting them down by leaving them too soon. A very smart doctor told me that caring is part of the human condition and you can’t stop people from doing it. But I still thought if I didn’t count on tomorrow, they wouldn’t be so disappointed if I didn’t get it.
“When I stopped thinking of tomorrow, I also stopped hoping, wanting, and dreaming. I wasn’t thinking about college. I wasn’t planning my future, because I didn’t think I had one. But not thinking about tomorrow is as bad as being stuck in yesterday.
“To plan for our futures, we must remember yesterday, live for today, but dream for tomorrow. Just three weeks ago I signed up for college. I want to get an English degree and become a published author one day.
“I’d never have enrolled or felt the thrill of living my dreams if someone hadn’t signed the donor card. I’d never have known what it’s like to fall in love or graduate high school. I’d never have seen the pride on my parents’ faces today when I put on this cap and gown.” I look out into the crowd and I see my mom crying and hugging Dad. “Look at them. Look at their happiness and you’ll know that the heart I got wasn’t just a gift for me, but for them. All you parents out there should be able to relate.
“So, please, prove my doctor right. Prove that caring is a human condition. Sign up to be a donor so others out there can experience the art of making tomorrow. And while you’re at it, get creative with your own life. You only get one. Make it matter. Live, not like you’re dying, but like tomorrow is a promise.”
I tip my hat and then move off the stage. I hear clapping. It goes on for a long while. Matt and Brandy are at the other side of the stage. Brandy, tears in her eyes, yells, “You rocked it!” Matt picks me up and twirls me around.
I’m not sure I rocked it, but I’m glad I took the challenge. Maybe I won’t give up Chinese food.
They start calling everyone’s names to receive their diplomas. Afterward lots of people come up and thank me for the talk. When the crowd starts to clear and I see someone starting to approach, I almost gasp.
“You came,” I say. I’d sent her an invitation, but I really didn’t think she’d come. “Of course I came,” Dr. Hughes, with tears in her eyes, says. “And just so you know, I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of my work than tonight. You are amazing.”
I hug her hard. When she moves on, I see who’s behind her. My stomach goes instantly tight. Mrs. Kenner walks up closer. I can’t read her expression.
“Matt’s right. There is no one I’d rather have my son’s heart. And I guess I could say that about both my sons.”
“Thank you.” We hug, and it’s then, right then, that I feel my new heart making itself at home in my chest. I needed that hug. Eric needed that hug.
It’s then that the last shadows of guilt I’ve felt about being alive fades. It’s then that I finally feel comfortable in my own skin, comfortable with being New Leah. It’s then I realize I’m really ready. Ready for my future. Ready to see where this crazy new life is going to lead me.
Dear Reader,
It was thirty-five years ago. A cute, curly-haired man with a twinkle in his blue eyes, whom I’d dated all of three times, told me we needed to have a serious talk. Sitting on a sofa that night, he told me he had polycystic kidney disease and there was a good chance that his later years would be difficult. He’d been told that by the time he was forty, he would be on dialysis. He told me he was falling for me and thought it was only fair that I knew this up front.
I remember looking at him and saying, “Why the heck didn’t you tell me this on our first date?” Because, dad-blast it, I was already half in love with him. Less than a year later, I married him for better or worse.
Because he took such good care of himself, he didn’t need dialysis until he was fifty-three. We did what we were supposed to do: got on the transplant list. His blood type was one that took longer to find a match. Soon the dialysis took its toll, and it wasn’t just his kidney disease trying to steal him from me, but his heart.
There wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t pray for a miracle. Not a day that I didn’t wonder how I would survive without his love, his sense of humor, and that damn twinkle in his eye.
Like Leah, I got that miracle when someone chose to donate their organs, and my husband got a second chance at life.
As I write this, I’m reminded of how often I’m asked, “What’s the book of your heart?” I always used to spout out the book I was working on, because it felt closer to me. I can’t do that anymore. While this story is fiction, the emotion on the page came directly from my and my husband’s hearts, from our pain, our fear, and from the miracle we experienced.
And while my husband is one who seldom ever remembers his dreams, when he woke up from that transplant, he started having a reoccurring dream. A short, succinct dream where he woke up to find an old man with his face right in my husband’s, staring at him.
When we discovered it was a kidney from a sixty-five-year-old man, it gave us goose bumps. The doctors assured us that the medications he was on could cause those vivid dreams. And maybe that was it. Or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, the experience gave me the plot thread in This Heart of Mine.
I hope you enjoyed the story. I hope it inspires you to live your life to the fullest. To write your bucket list now and start fulfilling it. I hope you might even decide to become a donor to help someone else get their second chance at life.
If you are interested in becoming a donor or helping out in some other way, please go to https://www.donatelife.net/.
Thank you,
CC
also by c. c. hunter
Midnight Hour
Almost Midnight
Unspoken
Eternal
Reborn
Chosen at Nightfall
Whispers at Moonrise
Taken at Dusk
Awake at Dawn
Born at Midnight
about the author
C. C. HUNTER is the New York Times bestselling author of more than thirty-eight books, including her wildly popular Shadow Falls and Shadow Falls: After Dark series, as well as her paranormal series, The Mortician’s Daughter. In addition to winning numerous awards and rave reviews for her novels, C. C. is also a motivational speaker and a writing teacher. An Alabama native, she currently hangs her hat in Texas with her husband, her rescued junkyard dog, Lady, her black cat, Oh, Henry, and the occasional armadillo that meanders out from the woods surrounding her home.
C. C. Hunter is a pseudonym. Her real name is Christie Craig, and she also writes humorous romantic suspense romance novels. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Epilogue
Also by C. C. Hunter
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
THIS HEART OF MINE. Copyright © 2018 by Christie Craig. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Cover design by Lesley Worrell
Cover photographs: heart © Picsfive/Shutterstock.com; paper texture © ESB Professional/Shutterstock.com
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-13165-2 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-250-03589-9 (ebook)
eISBN 9781250035899
Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact your local bookseller or the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at MacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.com.
First Edition: February 2018